Revenge Request Denied


The Revenge Guy
Revenge
Request Denied,
Sincerely,

The Revenge Guy

People,
You know that I give great, honest advice for people to correct how
they've been wronged in their life. But unknown until now, I do reject a
lot of revenge requests. Some are just from kids, hurting because a
friend turned on them. Hey, that's life, all a part of growing up, like
a skinned knee. Kids, talk to your parents, or an older sibling or a
teacher. That's my advice for you.
Then there are the truly weird. They've been bad and want help to be
badder. Sorry, it's really not going to happen. Not from this Revenge
Guy, anyways.
And as a special treat for you, my faithful reader and fan, are a
sampling of the "Revenge Request Denied" letters.

People,
You know that I give great, honest advice for people to correct how
they’ve been wronged in their life. But unknown until now, I do
reject a lot of revenge requests. Some are just from kids, hurting
because a friend turned on them. Hey, that’s life, all a part of
growing up, like a skinned knee. Kids, talk to your parents, or an
older sibling or a teacher. That’s my advice for you.

Then there are the truly weird.
They’ve been bad and want help to be badder. Sorry, it’s really not
going to happen. Not from this Revenge Guy, anyways.

And as a special treat for you, my
faithful reader and fan, are a sampling of the "Revenge Request
Denied" letters.


Whiner, Whiner, Pants on Fire!


Hi
Revenge Guy,

Okay, so here's a little background on how everything started.

My little sister took my older sister's car without her permission
one day, along wit three of her friends and got into a really bad car
accident where she needed intensive medical care. then there was the
whole issue of her super expensive medical bills (he was helicopter to
the nearest hospital) and the issue of the car she crashed into. (she
crossed the center divider into on coming traffic; the victim suffered a
broken hip. my little sister was in the hospital for a month or so).

And during that time, me and my other siblings took care of her and
my parents along with house.

Her stupid accident caused the family to rip apart.

My sister buys a house for my parents and moves out because she was
constantly being disrespected by my little sister and little brother.

My little sister came to "rule" the entire house. She got everything
her way, and me and my other older sister were always the ones to blame.

Numerous times she had taken my pricey cosmetics, made holes in my
clothes and stole my jewelry and whenever I confront her, she attacks
me, physically. (by the way, she's my little sister but she's twice my
size).

When I tell my parents about the abuse and the arguments, they blame
me for starting things with her.

My father told me and my older sister to move out the house because
we stood up to him about what my little sister and brother have been
doing. we constantly get yelled at and disrespected. I don't know what
else to do anymore. please help! I'm desperate!
thank you,
J—–

Revenge JokerHi
J—–,

I have no idea if you're 12 or 22 but enough is enough, really.
Your little sister steals your stuff? Get a lockbox and lock up the
stuff you want to keep for yourself.

Your sister physically attacks you? Take pictures of the bruises,
broken bones, whatever and call the police.

And maybe stop buying pricy makeup and move your ass out of the
house! If it's so bad, why stay? Have you no other place to go?

Isn't there some guy that wants to shack up with you?

Seriously, what do you expect me to advise you to do?

Lockup your good makeup and put some dollar store crap in it's place
and let her wear that.

Car accident aside, you've got some serious thinking to do about your
place in that house.

If you're closer to 22 than 12, move out… you're older sister will
take you in, if you really aren't the little bitch that you seem to be
in your email.

If you're closer to 12 than 22, welcome to life, suck it in and stand
up for yourself, no one else will.
I hope this moves your ass along,
RG


Hey R.G,

NOTE: I live with my uncle.

So long story short, I have an uncle who believes that I have stolen
his SUV (Mercedes), during the time it was stolen I was at my
girlfriends house which is very far away from my house.

It was when I received a phone call from my dad saying that it was
stolen, I was completely shocked of the news. The next day I asked
him if he needed help looking for his car of course but he wouldn't
let me help, everyday I would ask about the car.

A week after his car was stolen they found his car parked not so far
from my house only about 5 miles from my house. Rumors started
spreading from an uncle of mine who lives 6 miles from me, he stated
that I have stolen the car because there was a jacket and a computer
in the stolen vehicle which meant that a young person was driving it
(yes I know how ridiculous that sounds).

Apparently the uncle that is living with me now already thought that
I have stolen it, since there was two laptops(owned by me) in the
house that was not stolen if in fact someone broke into the house
and have stolen his car they would have taken the laptop too.

Note that he doesn't say anything to me but tells my mother that he
KNOWS I stole the car, she is already in a stressed position because
of my father cheating on her.

He tells her that she has raised a very out of control son, and that
I have stolen his car and gave it to my friends for them to drive it
around, adding that my mother spoils me, and that I'm a raging drug
addict, making up stories that I smoke heroine.

5 reasons why I couldn't have stolen his car:

1. I couldn't have stolen his car because I was away

2. he's my uncle why would I steal his car when I have my own car to
drive

3. if he knew me well he would know that my personality says
otherwise that I would never do anything of that sort.

4. No fingerprints were found that were mine

5. I LIVE with him who would be that stupid to steal a car when I
live with the person.

In my defense my mother tells him that she raised me since I was a
baby and she knows I wouldn't do such a thing, and his response was
that HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

I also have talked to him saying that I didn't steal it and people
are just blaming me without evidence, he acted like he understood
but afterwards started to tell my mother more stories. On top of all
that I have cancer so as If I don't have enough stress! Since he
pays rent at my house and I need the money how can I get back at him
without knowing it was me. I need this revenge ..

Hi,
Kick him out and get a roommate the respects you.

Geesh. Do I have nothing better to do?
RG


Dear RG,
ok i need some tips here revenge guy and i need you to really help
so, theres this guy that i know named josh. josh has always tried to
ruin my relationships and my friendships in order to "get me" as i
can tell. the thing is he and my ex friend are starting to date. now
he is one of those cheating types that is gunna use her, so in all
reality this will be doing her a favor. how do i lead him on enough
so the girl gets tired of his shit and leaves his ass at the curb?
now please dont not give me advice, and i dont need my parents help,
i am twenty. thank you!

Hi,
If you're 20, why the drama?
 No advice, no revenge.
 
Act your age.
 RG


Dear Revenge guy
my family and i are getting really pissed off, our neighbors are
becoming such hassles, well one day my brother hiis friend my friend
and my neighbors kid were hanging out side like we allways (use) to
do , but this one day we were chilling out there and my brother and
his friend were playing around makeing fun of neighbor kid and he
told the neighbor kid to get his B.B gun and started calling him a
funn sucker because he wouldn’t ( i admitt my brother went a little
over board with this but he just kept tormenting this kid well her
went home and about half an hour later neighbor kids dad came over
and started swearing like helll calling my brother an asshole and
that he doesn’t want his daughter over here ever again well my
parents were sleeping and they did know anything happened untill the
mom of the neighbor kid called my dad and told him what happend and
asked if he could get my brother to stop texting him and my brother
hasn’t texted him since last night and well ever since that
everything went wrong.

first we weren’t allowed to have fires the neighbors called the fire
department and the firedepartment told us that we are never alloud
to have a fire ever again ( now we have nothing to do at night so we
watch t.v and play video games ) well sure shit the next morning
around noon a city car comes to the house and says that we have a
complaint on us ( my brother his friend and my friend we have
nothing to do in the afternoon so we took these pimped out lawn
mowers and went mudd bogging and) well we got a complaint that
people were getting madd about the noise so we weren’t alloud to
ride the lawn mowers anymore which was "bull".

well just today actually we got a letter in the mail that said our
motor home is not allowwed to be there anymore(we own a motor home
it have been in the same place forever we normally go camping in the
summer but in the winter we just leave it) well we got a note that
said it must be gone be november 5 well that just flipped my lid who
the "f" has the right to move our trailer it wasn’t bugging anyone
it was just a wall between the freaking neighbors and us ( which was
awesome) yeah so now my family and i want to get revenge any ideas
????
thanks
fed up with my neighbor

Your family wants revenge, or YOU just want someone else to
blame?
Time to grow up dearie, actions have consequences and it sounds to
me that you are just learning this.
Good luck in life, you’ll need it!
RG


Dear Revenge Guy,
I have a story to tell. I am eighteen years old, female, and I was
living by myself in my stepdads old apartment when I met a young man
in the park one day. He was hot and I was horny and so I took him
back to the apartment for some fun*. We did it to Nirvana. He,
however did not feel content with just a fling and asked to be my
boyfriend. I was kind and generous at the time and told him that he
could stay with me. We went to get his things at the shelter he was
living at and brought them to "my" apartment.

Well, my mother and step father found out that I had someone else
living there and proceeded to move all my stuff to their garage and
confront us that night. In the time I had spent with him I had grown
quite attached so I took what money I had and vacated. We bought a
tent, and began to live the homeless life. It was hard, and every
day was a struggle, but I was willing to suffer… for him.

Many weeks passed and winter was coming. We had very few blankets.
He often spoke of his home, New Orleans and how he and a friend had
a house down there. He also said that if we could raise enough for
one bus ticket, his uncle would provide the rest. I was ill with
bronchitis, and very cold most of the time, so warm New Orleans
sounded good to me. I had to quit my job because I no longer had the
means to get there. (Plus I was sick of being their bitch) so I went
to pick up my last check and so have enough money to get one of us
down there, as he said his uncle would provide the rest. I handed
him the money, and he told me to go back to camp and pack our
belongings. Then, he said, to meet him at the local bus station at
1:30 in the morning. He would meet me there. Then he pecked my lips
and went on his way. I went and sat on a duffel bag full of our
things and waited. 1:30 came and went…then 2:30….finally at 3 AM
I hauled all our stuff over to the Greyhound station. It was closed.
There wasn’t a soul in sight. Unwilling to believe that he’d betray
me in such a way, I ran to look at the schedule. A bus headed for
Dallas left at 1:25 am. He’d left me. Left me to be robbed or killed
or raped. Without a second glance.

Surely this treachery deserves the deepest revenge? What could I do
to him that would make up for what he took from me? I’m not talking
about the piddly 160 dollars. How can I take his ability to love and
trust and destroy it in one sitting? How?

Hi,
The destruction of a promising life comes in many guises.
You met the devil and welcomed him in.
You’re lucky all he did was steal your money and screw you a few
times… then screw you over.
Get a check up for STD’s, talk to your parents about the error of
your ways and ask for forgiveness.

You still have a chance at a good life, don’t ruin it by making the
mistake you made have a more tragic ending.
He’s gone, isn’t that justice enough?

Good luck!
RG


Dear Revenge Guy,
My friend, lets call her grace, recently started going out with this
guy, lets call him fatty. Well anyway fatty and grace were going
great and my friends and I had no problem with him except they were
all over each other all the time and this made us a little
uncomfortable, but fatty took this uncomfortableness as us not
liking him and that we were b*tching about him. He turned grace
completely against us and started b*tching about us to grace now
she’s started b*tching about us too and she is believing people she
barely knows over us her friends of 13 years one of those people she
believes over us lets call her Mary has further worsened the
suitutation by spreading lies about us b*tching about grace and
fatty but no one believes she could lie because she’s the sweetest
nicest girl ever but deep down she evil. We know that she’s doing it
because her old best friend, mike stopped hanging out with her and
started hanging out with us and she hates the fact he prefers us to
her.

The thing is now we found out that fatty has done this to other
girls and he’s bad news, grace won’t believe us and we know it’s
going to end in tears, we’ll be there for her when she needs us but
we want to make fatty pay for what he’s done to us turning grace
against us, i also want to show everyone that mary is a two faced
little bitch, i badly need your help
Thanks
S. Pissed off

Hi S. Pissed Off,
Nope.

Let them ruin their own lives and you live yours.

Seriously, you have a mothering complex or something?
Geesh, join the SPCA and rescue kittens, leave these selfish
complaining untrustworthy people to their own fate.

I wouldn’t give a fart in the wind to affect their lives one way or
the other.

This isn’t what you wanted to hear, but seriously, is your social
circle so tight that people can’t come and go?

Worry about hunger and AIDS in Africa, but your energy to some good
use.
RG


dear revenge guy,
i’ve broken up with my ex bf for awhile now and i’m starting to get
over him. he did some pretty bad stuff to me and i’ve decided to
block him out of my life. but out of the blue a week ago, he send me
a msg telling me that he’s never forgotten about me and i’ll always
be special to him. the thing is, he has a new gf already and i was
shocked that he would still say that to me. so when i told his new
gf when he said, she flipped out me and told me i was a liar and
just trying to break them up. now i’m the bad guy in all of this.
and the worst part is, his new gf is spreading rumours about me to
her friends that i’m obessessed with my ex and has no life but to
try to be in his! i need help on how to shut her mouth up ’cause
being nice isn’t going to cut it anymore.
loves from lost girl

You’re right, they’re right, who cares?
Just ignore both of them, don’t make a big drama out of it.
Really, I don’t get involved in this type of petty quarrel.
RG


Hi revenge guy!
I am SOOOOOOO FREAKIN mad at my best friend! As we were walking
toward this guys bus, he said So I hear you like me. What the hell
am I supposed to do????!?!?!?! I know you said not to send you ones
like this, but I really need your help! I NEED PAYBACK!
Jennifer
You scared the cheese out of me!

You’re right, I don’t reply to this stuff.
Grow up.
You’re not that special.
RG


Dear revenge guy,
For most of my life my father has not been a part of my life. When
my mother and father got divorced he pretty much dropped out of my
life no matter how much my mom tried to get him involved with my
life. needless to say that never happened and its hurt me more than
any physical pain could. Once around when I was 16 he called and
asked for forgiveness and to be let into my life. I agreed, then i
haven’t heard from him…until last night. I want him to feel how i
feel. Any help would be loved.
Sincerely<
Neglected son

Hi,
This isn’t a revenge question you’ve posed.
You need to be able to open up to your dad and let him know how you
feel, and how you’ve felt, all these years. Your emotion, if true,
will strike him deeply.
His neglect and the rejection you feel is likely caused by things
outside of your control and maybe even your dad’s.
It’s time to come to terms with the way life is and move forward,
not living in the hurtful past. But do confront him and talk to him.
Best wishes,
RG


hi my name is XXXX, and ive been
living with my boyfriend for 7 months now, we’ve been together for
9. at first everything was fine. i liked his sister HHH, we used to
go hang out at her house all the time. then one day everything
changed. she moved in. now the problem is, my boyfriend and i are
tight on money right now so we are living with his mom. well HHH had
a fight with her bf and they broke up, so she moved in too. i didnt
like it from the begining but i tried to handle it and understand
that she’s had some misfortane lately and she had no were else to
go, so she turned to family of corse.
with in hours of her settling in she changed completely. my
boyfriends mom has never been a clean person from what i can see,
and she has always expected me to be the maid of the house, which i
refuse to do. so now HHH looks at me and my boyfriend as slobs. so
now she cleans up after her mom. long story short, HHH has changed
the entire house.
she rearanged things and has put limitations on us. for instance,
the big bowls im not allowed to use for cereal anymore. everything
in the fridge that we dont buy our selves is now off limits, if we
dont do our dishes right away she decides the next morning to blast
music at 6 am. she uses all the hot water everyday. its to the point
in which ive gotten 1 shower every 4 days. everytime i do laundry
something ends up missing. she takes my clothes and claims they
belong to her. so ive put my initials on everything i own. she tried
pushing me down the stairs today because i didnt fold the towels she
washed. now she says i cant use them at all. which is lame, but at
the same time everytime i wash towels they go missing too. also she
keeps removing my sons things from the living room and the bathroom,
she says they dont belong there. my son is only with me 50 percent
of the time, other wize hes with his dad. but that doesnt mean i
have to box up everything that belongs to him when hes not here. but
she seems to think so. shes been told to leave his things alone but
she just ignores us and does it anyway. she has even gone as far as
throwing my sons car seat down the stairs!! she keeps locking my cat
in the laundry room where she meows constantly. and she ties up the
phone line and has her friends come over and she talks about me and
my boyfriend to all her friends so everytime i come in the room i
get dirty looks. its rediculous. my boyfriends mom has given HHH
permission to control the house hold. so i cant do anything as far
as telling her off or fighting with her over these things. my
boyfriend and i stopped paying rent so that we can save money to
move out.
so far all ive done to get her back is take back what clothes i can
find in her room when shes not home, ive stuck her tooth brush in my
urine, and i put nair in her conditioner. other than that i have
nothing. please i need more ideas, she has done so many things to me
i want to get her back!!
thank you!
pissed off kitten

Sorry Kitten,
There is no revenge needed here. You have a child from one guy,
living with another guy in his mother’s house?
Life has it’s tough brakes but I think that your boyfriend’s sister,
although a little overboard, is trying to assert some authority and
rules where there never were any before.
The four of you have to have a mature, adult discussion over how
things should be and whose rules they are all to follow.
And you need to seek work, since you only have your baby half the
time or another place to live so you can stop being a leach and take
the responsibility for your life that an adult does.
RG


Hey Revengeguy….
I used to be an employee at an electronics store until I quit three
weeks ago (college) but
I took my car into the car stereo install dept to have some speakers
put in at 10am when they opened. I even made an appt 5 days prior.
When I came in my appt block was scribbled out. These guys were
under the impression that I am still an employee and I can still use
my discount, which by the way will give me a 50% off, for the
installation. I got a call around 6pm that they couldn’t get to my
car and it wasn’t done. They said other customers came first.
Someone is out to get me.
I want to get these guys good for shoving me to the side and not
hooking a fellow employee, well former employee, up. I’m still
trying to use my employee number which hasn’t been cut off yet. I
don’t want to complain to the managerial staff because they’ll make
sure it’s cut off. Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks,

No.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Grow up.
RG


ok i need help here, theres these two
girls at school, horrible people… myself and them are all sophmors
this year, if that helps any i could use some help here, heres my
motive:

last year this girl named XXXXX nagged me to let her jump in front
of me in line, (kid stuff) well since she was a total bitch to me
all day i just said "no" and she did so anyways after telling her to
move she slapped me across the face ((HARD)) for no reason
whatsoever and because im a guy, and that makes me more intimidating
i spent a week sitting in detention…im pissed

one of my friends got into a fight when a guy hit my freinds sister
in the face with a basketball, and later sucker punched my freind,
my father works as the custodian at my high school and stepped in to
break up the fight, (my friend was losing bad) (fights like a girl)
and the other guy hit my dad, so naturally i stepped in , while
stepping in, i accidentally bumbed this girl pushing threw the
crowd, and when it was done, and over with she screamed, cussed, and
threw books at me because i nudged her

im a nice, guy, and i dont think i deserved that treatment, the
other girl is also a major bitch, and has just always rubbed me the
wrong way. i got no problem, taking her down with the other, or
anyone else for that matter normally im pretty crafty, but im sure
you’ve got more experience than me, so im counting on you


Revenge JokerNo.

Life gets harder, get used to it.

RG

(You may think this a little harsh,
but seriously, what is this kid, 15, 16? Geesh, stop the pushing and
shoving, get over it. No wonder they say girls mature earlier than
boys. Geesh!)


Here’s a great example of the petty, mind-numbing itdiots that I
don’t bother give revenge advice to. Geesh people, grow up, get a
life before you try to decide that yours is ruined and you want to
get someone back!

HI I REALLY NEED
SOME HELP THERES THIS GIRL I HATE SHES GOT HEAPS OF FRIENDS I ONLY
HAVE 3 NOW I NEED A SIMPLE YET REALLY GOOD REVENGE IDEA PLEASE HELP
CAN YOU REPLY AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS THANKS SO MUCH PLEASE MAKE
SURE ITS SIMPLE I JUST WANNA SHOW NOT TO MESS WITH ME
THANKS
FROM EMMA


Revenge JokerHi
Emma,
No.
You haven’t given me a reason for you to need revenge other than the
fact she has more friends than you do.

That’s immature and petty.

Talk to your parents.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



What’s
good, Revenge Guy?

I got this girl who I’ve been with for the better part of six years,
save for a couple of periods where her and I had broken up and dated
other people. One such period was last summer, when she began to
date an unsavory (Spanish for "drug dealer") character. All the
while, we’re still sleeping together, she’s stealing from him to
give to me, lying to him, you know, the whole nine. One unfortunate
night while out with the fellas, I get a call from her, saying they
had had an altercation and he had beat her up pretty bad.

Now I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that the feelings were still
there, so I did what any man in love would….I immediately dropped
everything and came to her aid and even offered to go tune his ass
up a bit, which was already on my plate because this prick had
ruined a pretty decent night of ho-hopping. Of course, she refused
to let me go visit the young man, telling me he’d shoot up her car
if he saw it. THEN, the asshole calls her phone, berating her and
laughing at her!! I’m ready to throw this kid a necktie party at
this point, but just as sure as the sun rises, the punk goes into
hiding. This would be a good time to point out, that in her anger,
she gave me his address, plus his life is public record (more on
this in a sec).

So in the days and weeks afterward, her and I grew closer and
eventually became a couple again. Honestly, the love was pretty much
gone, and it became a convenience thing for me. This, however, did
not stop us from moving in together. BIG MISTAKE.

Fast forward to earlier this year. The house phone rings, and it’s
him. FROM PRISON. A couple things before I continue. First, she
lived at home with her parents before we moved in, so he had written
her at her parents’ (which I found out about a week or so), and she
had not only not told me, but had responded and GIVEN HIM THE PHONE
NUMBER TO MY MUTHAF$#@%N HOUSE! WHERE WE LIVED TOGETHER!!!!! Hold
on, my head is about to explode.

Better now. Second thing. Since he is a convicted felon and
presently on an "iron vacation", anyone with Internet access is able
to pull up his record (records in this case, this kid is a real
scumbag). So I did some research and found out that he’s in a state
prison a couple hundred miles out of the city, and get this–he’s
not eligible for parole until Valentine’s Day 2008!

Back to the initial phone call, though. So I confront her about him
calling MY
MUTHAF%*&!N HOUSE, to which she replies, and I quote, "I feel sorry
for him….if it were reversed, I’d talk to you!" So against my
every wish, she continues to talk to him and even began writing him.
When he calls (present tense), she runs into the bedroom and closes
the door. This no-good heifer even took to writing him, which I
found out because she was bold enough to leave a letter on the couch
in plain view!

So about two weeks ago, I found a credit card receipt from a gas
station in a suburb of the city I live in. I didn’t pay it any mind
until I realized that it was on a day that she had told me she would
be in church all day with her parents (her dad is a reverend). So my
inner P.I. came out and I Mapquested (indulge me) the PRISON HE WAS
IN, and found out that this gas station in about 25 miles away from
there. I confronted her about it, she tried to feed me some bulls$%t
that I didn’t even pay attention to, let alone remember now.

Until last night. We got into an argument and about berating her for
some time, she got pissed off and admitted she had in fact, visited
him in jail.

Now I have been sleeping with other women since we reconciled (sh!t
don’t stop. ever), and it’s nothing to go and do that. I think this
deserves something unforgettable. Something that will leave a mark.
I still live with her, and have access to a wealth of info (bank
cards/passwords, etc.), her clothing, her car, her parents’ church,
I could go on all day, but you get it. I really want to serve her
ass real proper like (or whatever these kids say these days). Give
me something GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Revenge JokerDude,
Honestly, I think you’ve both got what you bargained for.

Revenge?
Goodness no, you need to have an honest life to need revenge. You
have to have been wronged. You have just been treated as you treat
her.
My only hope for you is that somehow, sooner or later, you
straighten up before you have any kids.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy


Dear
RG,

I used to have this amazing best friend except she was the
manipulative type that was actually mean and fake. I helped her
become popular and then she started hitting on my boyfriend and
caused us to break up on top of that she’s said horrible things to
me. We’ve been friends off and on but this time it was a baddddddd
fight, I kept my cool but I still want revenge. I like this boy John
and she swore she wouldn’t tell she told everyone and now I’m
humiliated especially since he has a girlfriend and I said I hated
her! I cant stand this girl she is ruining my life. What do I do???
-Humiliated

Hey Revenge Guy,
My name is Jay, and I want to get revenge on a jerk who has caused
me discomfort. I’m not usually the kind of person to do these kind
of things, but now it’s gone too far. There’s this guy at my school,
and we used to be friends, but then he turned on me, and started
calling me names like fat, fag and others. I called him short one
day and he got angry and tried to hit me, but I dodged it and he ran
out of the room. I’d love to get revenge on this guy, because I
really don’t like him anymore, and I want to teach him a lesson
he’ll remember for life.
Thanks,
Jay

Revenge JokerHi
to the both of you,

[Usually I don’t answer like this, but I get a lot of emails like
this, from young teens]

The solution is:
Get the person that turned on you out of your life.
They have proven that they are not a true friend. Yet, in our desire
to be liked, we forgive easily. Only to be betrayed time and time
again. "Turn the other cheek"? Ha!
Stop being that person’s pawn.

Stop forgiving and
move on with new friends. Don’t hang around and keep coming back for
more abuse.

The only way (and
really, it’s the only way) to straighten out friends that have
turned on you is to leave them alone. Let them figure out on their
own if there was any value to your own friendship. And if they don’t
come back to you begging for forgiveness for treating you so
horribly then you’re better off without them.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy


Dear RG,
My husband is a jerk. He keeps promising me he will stop being
selfish and rude to me. I am ready to leave. I moved back in with
him after he promised to stop his behavior. He started again the
next day. I want him to change. He needs a swift kick in the ass.
What should my strategy be? He lies to me, makes up excuses and
worried only about himself. He is a child, not my husband!

Revenge JokerHi,
Seriously?
You want to save your marriage yet you ask The Revenge Guy for help?
Men don’t change.
A swift kick in the ass is calling a divorce lawyer.
Save yourself. If he won’t change, finds someone that you’ll be
better off with.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy


[Special note
from RG: The next letter may seem particularly harsh in my reply. I
don’t fix broken hearts. I don’t like dealing with kids that are
having sex and then emailing a stranger for advice when things go
wrong, events that are far beyond their own experience and maturity.
Some things are better left to parents to deal with. Simple enough,
eh?]


Dear
Revenge Guy,

I really need your help on this one i can’t tink of the perfect way
to get them back. here’s my sad story…
i have been hanging out with this girl for months now and i started
liking her more everyday. and it got to the point where i gave her
my virginity and we had sex like every night. it was amazing and i
fell in love with her. i thought it was time for her to meet my best
friend. i introduced them and then 2 nights later me my best friend
and the girl i loved slept over my house. it ended up that they did
stuff in my own bed when i fell asleep and then it just was all
downhill from there. now they have sex everyday when they camp out
at a spot that me and her used to camp out. They broke my heart and
now it’s REVENGE TIME., i need a good plan. I really think i should
do somthing to them when they are camping in the bush out in the
middle of nowhere. they camp near a big hill and i know the whole
area really good. please help me out. my x bestfriend betrayed me
and it’s time to get payback.
Thanks for your help
A Guy

Revenge Joker

Hi A Guy,
No.

Talk to your
parents about this.

You’re easy and she’s a slut.
You want revenge?
You need to realize that life is full of crap and you’re not to step
in it.
You stepped in it.

You want revenge?
Go to where they "do it" and take pictures.
Give them to her parents, post them on MySpace, I don’t care.
This isn’t what I’m about. You fell in it.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear
Revenge Guy,

Hey there! My name is Dan and I desperately need help getting over
on a girl that is lying about me and making my life miserable.

This past fourth of
July I was celebrating at my girlfriend’s house with her white trash
cousin and her white trash boyfriend. Some how he and I ended up
arguing, I left the party with my girlfriend and that was the end,
or so I thought. The next day she’s claiming that I assaulted her
and that her boyfriend beat me up and my girlfriend’s family
believes her!

None of what she is
saying is true, and I find myself fighting tooth and nail to make my
girlfriend’s parents believe I’m not a woman beater. I want to get
her back and make her hate her life and wish she was never born! I
don’t want to get arrested and I am a poor student so I couldn’t
afford an extravagant prank. What can I do? I need help!

To give you insight
into what kind of girl she is to better help your assessment of what
to do; she is white trash, ugly, with an ugly white wannabe-be
gangsta boyfriend, who is dumb and creates drama for attention in
her family because she is a waste and most of the others are
successful. I’d really like to embarrass, and expose her her to as
many people as possible!!!
Thank you,
Dan

Revenge Joker

Hi Dan,
Sometimes you have to man up and live past the abuse of others.

You already know
you’re better than her and her boyfriend, now is the time to prove
it in your actions.

Revenge isn’t the
answer here, it’s time to MAN UP dude!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

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