Roommate Revenge


The Revenge Guy
Roommate
Revenge 2 By
The Revenge Guy

Roommates – has there ever been a better,  worse, way to live?

I think that when you're old enough you move out of your parents
place and move in with a roommate to make the cost less expensive.. then
you learn the error of your ways and you get a place all your own. In
between these moments of moving, you need revenge… this is where RG
comes in!


Dear
Revenge Guy,

My Husband and I have to have the world's worse housemate.

We rent the bottom half of a house. We cannot really afford to
move, And we cannot tolerate our Housemate anymore.

Let me tell you about this guy…
He is permanently unemployed, He gets a job every two weeks, works
just long enough to get a paycheck, pays his truck payment, and then
quits.

He is a drunk, and spends all of his money on beer. He smells and
has dishes left in 'his half' of the sink that haven't been washed
since 2006. He refuses to shower, and has turned the living room
into his private bedroom (The living room opens up onto the kitchen)
He will not ever buy anything, using our dishsoap, toilet paper,
detergent, etc.

He steals small items of food from us constantly to eat and pawn
(always under a few dollars) when he isn't 'flush' from his most
recent paycheck. He walks around muttering all the time, cusses at
us and at the television, keeps the TV so loud that whenever I cook
dinner I get a headache, and uses one dirty cookie sheet to cook
'instant dinners' when he can afford them, which chokes the whole
house with smoke every time he does.

He smokes, and with the airflow in our house that means we are
smoked out every hour. And he sleeps on the living room floor naked
(nasty). Especially bad when friends come over or we have a pizza
delivered or something.

He is downright mean, and literally will not listen to us when we
ask him to do anything at all, including wash himself or cleaning up
anything of his. No matter if we yell, try to bribe, be polite, or
even talk to his family, he won't change.

The worst part is, his mom owns the house we are living in and
lets him live there rent-free. She refuses to recognize what he is
doing no matter what we tell her, even if we give her proof like
photographs of him naked dead drunk asleep or smoking pot with his
friends.

He kept two dogs locked in one of the upstairs bedrooms over a
year ago, one of them starved to death (we couldn't get in to feed
them) and the other the state came and took away, and yet he gets
off scott-free. The police won't pay attention to us, and yet when
we yell he calls them up to come over and threaten us.

The whole house still smells like doggie feces because he has
never cleaned the room and keeps it locked.

There is much, much more that he does, like yelling at our
friends, constantly changing the temperature, peeing on the bathroom
wall and the living room floor when he's drunk, and a million other
things… Since moving is not an option (we cannot afford another
place even if there were someplace to move TO out here)

Is there anything we can do to get him to move out of his
mother's rental house and out of our lives?

Some way to make 'leaving' more attractive than 'staying and
living in his mom's house rent free'?

Revenge JokerHi,

Unfortunately you're living with a freeloading asshole. And he's
caught you, your husband, and his own family in his twisted,
mentally deficient life.

The guy needs medical and psychological help, and now.

What I suggest is talking to the police and the local mental
health department.
Document everything.

He needs help and you need a better life.

Either he goes, carried away by the state because he can't live
like a normal person, or you move.

I strongly suggest that you "invite" local mental health workers
to "hang out" in your house for a while… they will know what, and
how, do get him out and help.

But start saving those pennies, one way or another, there's a
move in your future.

There is a limit to revenge and when the target is mentally
deficient, there just isn't a way to make them understand action and
consequence. What could you do that would be worse that what he does
to himself?

There is no revenge advice here, nothing that will make him move
after all you have told me. Naked pictures, drug use, dead dogs…
face it, you're just watchers over this sick asshole… and his
family, not just this guy himself, are abusing you.
But, he is a risk to himself, and to you, a deadly risk.

Best wishes, RG


Dear Revenge Guy,
I moved in with two people who I thought were my friends in August.

Besides little problems with them eating my food,
it wasn’t too bad.

During finals week my other roommate and I were
trying to pick up the slack of the beginning of the semester and trying
to study.

My other roommate knew about two weeks before that
she would be done with her finals on Tuesday and would be partying.
Knowing that I had finals Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday she said
should would go out somewhere else to drink.

However, that Tuesday night she decided to have a
party. I asked her into my room and nicely asked her to have everyone
out within an hour so I could study and sleep. An hour and fifteen
minutes later I went out into the front room and confronted everyone.

My roommate having the party said that my other
roommate was her "spokesperson" and she was too drunk to talk with me.
My other roommate who was supposed to be studying but decided to party,
told me they would keep the music down. I told him I could hear them
screaming from the other end of the apartment, but he did nothing.

The next morning I wrote them an email telling them
we need to talk. It’s been 2 weeks and I still haven’t heard from them.
I think one of my roommates took off for California leaving my with the
bills to pay. I hope he’ll be back soon since he owes me money.

I want something to pay them back for what they did
besides subletting the room.
Thanks,
Angry!!!!!!!!!

Revenge Joker

Hi Angry,
Well, this is going to
be one of those lessons… you want revenge but you need them to pay their
bills first.

Take the high road here, get their money first and
check what the lease is, if you can legally kick them out or what. Maybe
ask your landlord too.

Personally I’d just take the loss and get new
roommates, but you need to know the law here.

As for the revenge, if you know he’ll be moving out, lose some of his
computer wires or something…. Cost him a few bucks replacing something
that “got broken in the move”.

And have a friend call him up after he moves out
saying he’s the landlord and he’s going to be sued for damages down to
the apartment

And be certain the next time that you make the living arrangements and
rules of conduct part of the lease everyone signs.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear
Revenge Guy,

I
love your website and you have lots of great ideas. I was hoping you’d
be able to give me some advice and inspiration with my horrible
roommates. Here’s what’s going on:

I live with two other guys. I’m straight but my roommates are gay. They
also happen to be the messiest laziest people in the world. They leave
dishes in the sink for weeks that mold over. They only clean them when
there are no clean ones to eat off of, or once they’ve run out of paper
ones. They also jack up the heat to 80 when it’s sixty degrees outside
go it’s a good 90 degrees in the house.

The worst part is that every night they sit in the living room, which is
right underneath of mine, and smoke cigarettes in the house and watch TV
till 2 a.m. My girl friend and I are always in my room trying to sleep
but can’t because of the awful smell and all the noise. We burn incense
to get rid of the smell and play a rain track over my stereo when trying
to sleep. It helps but they’re still annoying.

The other thing is that their friend Sarah, who is this absolutely
disgusting girl is here all the time. She has a key to the door and will
sit and hang out in my house when no one is home. She was keeping her
rabbit here because they don’t allow them in the dorms, and last week it
died because she hasn’t been taking care of it. We tried reporting her
for animal cruelty but none of the agencies will prosecute for rabbit
neglect.

This girl is in my house every night. She sleeps on the couch at least
three days a week until noon the next day. That is when she’s not
sleeping in my one roommate’s bed when he goes away for the weekend. She
has a fair deal of her stuff here, parks her car in my driveway, and for
a few month’s was the worse of the two roommate’s Jeff’s allowed her to
stay here.

Ok so now I’m getting to the point. Sarah’s car is always in my
driveway. I allow my girlfriend to have my spot in the driveway when we
spend the night here. I have a street parking permit and if you park on
the street without one you get a ticket. So I have one car in the
driveway and then there’s Sarah’s. Whenever someone else wants to have
their car here myself or my girlfriend has to move our cars. We always
refuse to do it. I want to call the cops and have Sarah’s car towed
because she doesn’t live here but then they’ll probably do it right back
to my girlfriend.

About the smoking in the house. I talked to them many times about it and
each time they say they’ll smoke outside. That lasts about an hour. So
I’ve placed six mothballs in the living room to get rid of the smell.
But of course they complain saying "the mothballs hurt my lungs." Maybe
it’s the three packs of cigarettes you smoke? I already tried calling
the landlord but he can’t do anything because it’s not in the lease.

They also want to try to make my girlfriend pay for part of the
utilities because she stays here overnight and showers here sometimes
after we go for a run. This is hypocritical because their friend is here
just as often. And she cooks in the house, takes showers, and uses up
much more power with her TV watching.

I’m moving out at the end of May. Sarah is taking my spot. It was
supposed to be completed back in December but because of their
incompetence has taken until the end of April. I want to make sure I go
out with a bang when they can’t do anything to touch me. Right now I
keep my room door locked with a security hasp when I’m not home so they
don’t do anything to my stuff. I’ve already had a set of towels stolen
and thrown away.

Here’s what I’m thinking of doing. My classes are over weeks before I
move out. I’ll be living in close proximity to the house, but won’t need
anything. Since all the utilities are in my name I’m turning them off as
early as possible. No gas, electric, or cable. I’m also going to turn
off the temperature to the hot water heater. They’re too lazy to call
someone and too stupid to fix it. I also want to subscribe them to a
bunch of anti-gay hate magazines, but I don’t know of any. Are there any
surprises I could leave in the house or my room that would make their
lives a living hell when I leave. I’ve been having these problems since
November. That’s five months, so I want them to make sure they have just
as bad an experience.
Thanks,
Marcus

Revenge JokerHi
Marcus,

It’s a good
thing that you’re getting out, sounds like you’ve been living the
“Hellish circus life” to me.

Letting someone that isn’t paying rent
have a key is one of the worst possible situations I can think of,
friend or not. She’s not paying rent. She shouldn’t have a key.

It would have been great if you had a
video diary of how these pigs live. I think it would make great
YoutTube.com video “watch over days as this barely touched plate of food
turns to mold” type of thing. Maybe there is still time in your
remaining weeks?

I like the cancelling the utilities part as well, that will force them
into a bit more mature behavior. Unless they’re both with bad credit
ratings and can’t cover the hookup fees… by moving out you could be
sending them to the street too!

Maybe you could find a smoke alarm, cheap, and plant it somewhere where
they won’t easily find it and it will go off on them one night, with all
the smoke? That would be a hoot…. Just stick it on the wall or ceiling
somewhere, they have smoke alarms that just use two-sided tape to stick
to the ceiling. Scare the crap out of them and it’ll keep going until
they can figure out how to turn it off… priceless.

Change the shower head to a low flow type…
they’re cheap enough, just a few dollars…. Do it when they are all out,
just say the manager came by and changed the showerhead… and when you
leave take it off, add a marble or two to fill up the space in the head
and leave them with a barely working shower.

Don’t leave anything in your room that could point directly back to you
but maybe go down into the main furnace point and place a hunk of
cheese, with these guys penchant for warmth, cranking up the furnace is
a sure way to get a cheesy molding smell all over the place. Use a soft
cheese for this.

And as a final parting gift, if they have
computers, and even jerks can afford one these days, change the power
settings for the computer to “hibernate” after 3 minutes inactivity,
it’s in the control panel settings under “Power”. It’ll take them a
while to figure that out.

And move your stuff out as soon as you have another place, the heck with
the month’s rent already being paid, the sooner you’re out of there, the
better. Of course though, until your name is off the lease, don’t do
anything, you’ll be liable for any costs associated with fixing
anything!

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear
Revenge Guy,

I live in a supportive
housing apartment where I don’t get to pick my roommates.

We just got a new roommate about a month
and a half ago. Ever since he moved in he has been stealing my food. He
never buys his own food only steals mine and eats it. I am on disability
and am low income and can hardly afford to feed myself let alone another
person. What can I do that won’t get me into any legal trouble?
Thanks,
Call me ‘Hungry’

Revenge Joker

Hi Hungry,
I
wouldn’t worry about legal trouble if he’s stealing your food.

I’d start labeling your food as YOURS and
save some ‘special’ food for him, unlabeled. This good looking food I’d
start inserting toothpaste and other such things into. You know what
will work best based on what he’s stolen from you in the past.

Let him eat cake with toothpaste icing and
whatever else you can think of.
He’ll get the idea not to steal food soon enough.

Is it possible for you to segregate your food and place a hidden camera
somewhere to record the theft?

Can you get help from management? I have no doubt that he’s stealing
from more people than just you so maybe get everyone else together and
start recording what happen to all involved. The police are always a
last option once you have enough evidence, then management would be
forced to kick him back to where he came from.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear
Revenge Guy,

Recently I have gone through some financial and
emotional stress.

It all started when my friend crashed my
brand new car, which unfortunately took him a while to pay me back, at
the same time I had to use my contingency funds. Thus this put me at a
tough spot to pay my rent.

I told my roommates who were supposedly my
friends the situation and they said they were ok with it. On top of
that, my beloved grandmother had passed away unexpectedly. I thus went
home for the weekend, and while I was away, they threw a party. At that
part they made photoshopped pictures of me and posted them all over the
house during the party.

Obviously this means they aren’t very
understanding. I plan on moving out without telling them but I need
something that will hurt them all. I see one of them on a regular basis
and personally I want to continue the friendship, but I think it’s
messed up that while I’m away, they like to make a mockery out of me.

My plan is to move out when none of them
are home and stick it to them, by not having anything get to me, I plan
on changing my bills and everything to a different address by the end of
this week. Is that good enough or do you have anything else to add?

I am so furious that I am thinking violent
acts to do my payback but obviously I am just letting my emotions get
the best of me. What shall I do? Please help! I want to stick it to them
hard and let them be pissed at me because personally I do not care for
them anymore. It’s messed up how they make a slander of my name when I
am going through such harsh times and I’m trying to get myself out of
the situation.
Sincerely,
Moving

Revenge Joker

Hi
Moving,

Yes, you’ve planned your move well and Liquid Ass will be
what you want to use… on the furniture, on clothes… books… doorknobs,
all will work well.

Then I’d start a poster campaign of having people show up at their house
looking for a garage sale, looking for a cheap room to rent… just keep a
steady crowd of people going their way. Maybe even announce a huge party
once in awhile for their house.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

I have been living in my current apartment for about 6 months and I
need revenge on my roommate. He is a bastard and I’m trying to find
a new place but in the meantime, I don’t see why I can’t make his
life a living hell.

We have a 3 bed 3
bath townhouse with 4 of us living here. We share a 2 car garage
between us, and the neighbors. The neighbors don’t have a car. The
distance to park and walk is about 4 to 5 minutes from the house.

One of our
roommates has his car permanently parked in there because he doesn’t
have the registration paid so if he leaves it in the street, it gets
ticketed. Before I moved in, Rob, the bastard, claimed to have paid
for the space in the garage so I NEVER parked there for five months.
When the new roommates moved in, Mike and Allan, they were all the
sudden able to park in the garage! I don’t like confrontation so I
didn’t say anything to keep peace here.

Since the new
roommates started parking in the garage, I started to as well. Well
Rob, the bastard, thought he’d come up with a grand plan and start
taking the garage opener with him so he closes it when he leaves,
and when he arrives, leaving NO space for anyone ever!

My girlfriend hates
him more than I do so yesterday he left the opener on the counter.
My girlfriend "accidentally" spilled water ALL over it. He found it
and looked at me like I did it but I just brushed him off, he didn’t
even say anything. Somehow it still works!!! I’ve thought of various
things to do to either break the garage or opener or sensors but I
cant do something he will know I did. I’ve though about putting tape
over the sensors on the garage but its never open! I’m not gonna ask
that bastard to park there, instead I’m going to get revenge! Please
help me this is driving me NUTS!!!!!! thanks revenge guy!

Revenge JokerDear
Jeff,

Check the manufacturer of the garage door opener. They
work on a number code set that if radioed to the garage machine that
opens and closes the door.
1.Reset the code so it doesn’t match up to the machine
2. Place some thick plastic over the sensor that receives the code
so that it doesn’t work.
3. You must have some dope on him. Dig to his darkest secret and use
www.RevengeCall.com to call
him as if you are a reporter, or a concerned citizen, and question
him about this secret of his.
You can change your voice, the caller ID and even record the call
for later listening pleasure.
Call him threatening exposure, arrest, late bill fines, whatever
will get under his skin and make him sweat.
4. If he really has a crappy car, dump some milk or
LiquidAss inside the door
panels. Clean up carefully. After the milk dries in a couple of
weeks, the stink will be awful.

Go get ‘im!!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

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