Help If You’ve Been Hurt By Boyfriends And Girlfriends

The Revenge Guy

Boyfriends are fickle, girlfriends are flaky. Revenge is not always the best course of action here, but who am I to say? let the emotions roll!

(NOTE: generally RG does not answer 'broken heart' revenge requests. If that is your case please don't send an email, get advice from a friend.)

Valentine's Day is coming so here's a story of a woman being screwed over. Seems so fitting!

Hi Revenge Guy,

I'm not usually a vengeful person but that's exactly why I'm turning to you for help because this is a situation that POSITIVELY REQUIRES revenge be taken and justice be served.

If it can't help me quit getting used then maybe they won't do it to others like me again so here goes:
I have been in a live-in relationship for 3 years with the man i believed to finally be the ultimate love of my life. we mostly got along and were on the same unified track for the future or at least he never let on differently ever in any way.

We made an agreement in the beginning: he said simply that i couldnt "yell" at him, which we never fought EVER so i said ok wishing now i knew how vague and easily manipulated that would be later on. I was VERY specific however, in my "taboos" for him cuz i really liked him but i had some really bad stuff happen in past relationships and i had just clawed my way up from the bottom and was ok with just being friends with benefits cuz i didn't really want a relationship again at that time cuz i wanted to be sure so the next time would be the last and i didn't want to be alone if it wasn't so i HAD to be sure.

He was so sincere and seemed so committed that i reluctantly agreed but with stipulations: Don't LIE to me, don't CHEAT on me and don't be here NOW if you don't see yourself even REMOTELY here in a couple of years cuz im really good with just being friends right now cuz i don't ever wanna lose that.

Life went on and overall was good though we had a few bumps here and there – we toughed it out together and eventually pulled through. We had a real bad time last November when we moved into a new house with his elderly dad and he suddenly was out of work.

No biggie he always pulled through somehow. this time though he wouldn't work for anybody he normally did when in a pinch and i tried to help him by selling furniture he made on ebay and other stuff through my friends but he just stubbornly wasn't satisfied with anything and i began to feel the heavy financial burden (his dad too).

4 months went by and he started to be mean to me and treated me like crap when he treated everyone else like kings though i bent over backwards for him and he was spoiled rotten just as i always had only now he EXPECTED and demanded it but no longer earned it. 6 months went by and we were regularly sparring usually because he wasn't even trying by then and was everybody's friend but mine and was nice to everyone but me so i snapped finally and yelled as he says.

He didn't say he could yell first all he wanted, treat me like crap, provoke me or push my buttons deliberately or whatever when he said i could't yell at him or i never would have gone there. nor did i ever think he would do these things to get me there.

So he split to a town he SWORE TO EVERYONE he would never go back to and never mentioned he even considered it before then so it was just out of the blue and i was glad to see him go for the moment.

He called 6 days later and that's how i found out but we kind of made up and he came home for about 3 weeks then again reluctantly went back but each and every weekend for the next 4 months we saw each other and were becoming closer and closer all the while making plans (HIM painting the picture) to "winter" in town and move up there in the spring but he knew I wouldnt without a job and being a smaller town then the one we had a home at, that would be difficult. Winter was coming in and i didn' actt know how i could come much longer but he was coming home on weekends to but weather is super bad and treacherous so??

Next thing i know, we (couldnt really be called a fight) we disagreed cuz he said something that cut right to my jugular emotion and i didn't fight with him instead I fell asleep on bottom bunk of camper cuz i couldnt leave being stuck in the mud as he got me til morning which when i went to leave was about the only time this fight occured but i was only crying and being in the mud was making it worse.

Finally i went home and let things cool off. week goes by and i call and he is being the meanest cruelest most horrible he has ever been to me and said for me to stay away etc. and then hung up.

2 weeks go by he comes down says he's gone stay and talk leaves and goes back without telling me. I go up on halloween he acts as if all is well again, but im nervous cuz we hadnt talked at all but it wasn't the nite to broach it yet and he was being really sweet while making his costume etc. never did anything else happen til the end of the nite when i went to go home cuz i had to work next day. all of a sudden he started being mean again saying it was over, etc. and as i went dazed and shocked to my car he kept saying see u next weekend.

i called but wasnt about to go up there til i knew what was up and he was rite back to being evil and mean and neasty to me. kept hanging up on me. soKeptbe i quit calling but he would call here and talk to my kids or his dad and first thing hed ask was about me and he sounded sad each time.

To make a long story short, too much more happened to squeeze in here, he is not the cheating type EVERYONE always thought but i knew in my heart he was cuz no man would be that cruel to someone who did nothing unless he was and his son coming home from school for the holidays was my trump card cuz he would not say.

Sure enough they tried to pass it off as only 2 weeks but his son Who stayed with us though his dad stayed up there, said they acted as if it was much longer.
he would not lket me confront any issues since halloween wouldnt talk to me and wouldnt allow me closure actn instead kept hanging up on me and to this day 1/19/10 we have not talked even to say ok its over and goodbye. EVERYONE HIS SON AND DAD INCLUDED IS SO PISSED AT HIM. my daughter says he didnt want me to find out so he could come back after winter and knowing cheating would never be forgiVEN but winter required shelter up there cuz october was already too cold and he wouldnt make it thru winter in the camper. supposedly it was a "sympathy fuck" for her dead husband but she began to expect more and since he was beginning to stay there. . .???

i dont care everything about it on both sides was wrong and she missed her husband so bad how does she think i now grieve for the love of my life? shes not sad now and he is not happy but he feels bad for her and not me or anyone he left behind here and he is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON ACCORDING TO ALL WHO KNEW AND LOVED HIM, i will never trust another soul again and he knew that from the start should he not be right. so even if i had future happiness waiting i would run from it in fear cuz the 3rd time is not a charm and too many to believe again.

I want them both to feel the loss THEY CAUSED IN MY LIFE AND IM NOT VERY GOOD WITH COMING UP WITH IDEAS LET ALONE APPROPRIATE ONES that wont get me into trouble so please please please help me with this asap – theres so much more that makes this sound lame but this is really the short version after all this time has passed but i still cry everyday and he still drinks everyday and she isnt unhappy or missing her husband anymore.

BUT I DO EACH AND EVERYDAY. SO i need it for both and please help me before i get any nuttier over this!!!


p.s. she owns a tree nursery that her husband had so of course it is convenient for both but this happened cuz i am a friend of one of the husbands brothers at this nursery down here and they were old friends so he sent him up there at my request a few months prior to this to selln her some trees. thats when it started. told u there was too much more to put in here but it is way worse now and imperative i have revenge so it will quit consuming my life and i can hopefully move on then. thanks again!

Revenge JokerHi Some Lady,

Honestly, it seems to me that you hid the truth about this guy from yourself all the time. Starting with just screwing around, without a commitment, means that YOU were not ready to commit, not him.

You should have drawn a line right there.

As far as your "rules" what the hell? Relationships grow and mature, mostly, yours withered right from the start.

Twice, likely more, you let this ass back into your life?

Are you that desperate to need a man that you'll invite such a piece of trash in?
The rule is you give a man every chance to love you and one chance to screw you over. You broke that rule.

First off, you need to cut all ties with this guy, his family, everyone. Hell, Hawaii always seems like a great place to live to me, why not move? As long as you can continue this pity party with his relatives, and whatever friends you might have left, you'll never heal, you'll never be over him.

As for revenge, here you go:
Start sending Valentine's Day cards now. To Him. To Her. From people they might know in whatever town either might have been to. Addressed from strangers maybe. Let them think that the other has been screwing around. Use a phone call service and leave messages, love messages, on their voice mail. Change the caller id so the call can't be returned. leave messages from people that say they owe money. play with their minds, you know what works best.

Send him a registered letter detailing all the money he owes you. Throw him into a panic. Wreak their relationship.

And damn it all, get some counselling and stay single until your daughter grows up. And no more FWB. Those never work well except for the guy that gets a freebie with no commitments.
Good Luck,

Torture The User Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Revenge Guy,
I just came across your site this afternoon and wanted to ask for advice.

I was dating this guy for seven months and then like 3 weeks ago while we were making dating plans, he suddenly broke up with me because he was obsessing over my past relationships with guys in the past (he was my best friend so he knew this stuff).

I found it weird that he obsessed over it. Sure he wasn't that good looking at all and was a total morbid guy that laughed at people's expense but I liked that about him because I was just like him!

Turned out he fell out of love with me 4.5 months ago and just wanted my body. I get revenge on people often (he loved hearing those stories and helped out a couple times) but this time I am stumped at what to do. He decided he wanted to be "friends-with-benefits" with me, I said sure because this would get me close to him to get revenge, not sure what to do though.

I wasn't heart broken for long, I just want revenge on the time I wasted on that pervert. I'm moving on with my life with college and such, I'm young anyways but would like some victory on his expense. Thanks for reading this.

Revenge JokerHi Troublemaker,
This all depends how far you're willing to go, right?

I mean you could pretend to have kinky sex with him, get out the handcuffs or scarves and tie him to the bed and leave him there, right?
Take photos and send them to his parents or some such trouble.

I mean, the sky is the limit, or is it?

You're right to get on with your life, but this guy makes me SICK!!!!!

He just wanted to USE YOU? Fuck him, not literally, of course!

Anyways, I would add some eye drops to a drink he has, distract him and drop half a bottler in…. watch as he gets sudden stomach cramps and diarrhoea.

Or get some Liquid Ass and secretly spray him, or his stuff, with it.

Or make some phone calls and pretend to be another girl he likes, set up dates, let him be all alone…. waiting… waiting…


Maybe be a phony "Facebook Hottie" and start an online romance with him, then break his heart.


Have fun with torturing him, I would.

Dear Revenge Guy

I’m sure you get a billion emails from people wanting good ideas. I have done silly things to get a good laugh when people have been mean or jerks to me in the past, but I am not sure what might be adequate revenge for my ex boyfriend.

In a nutshell, he came back a year after we broke up after he heard about my mother’s tragic death claiming that he felt really bad and that he was sorry for how things ended between us… we both apologized and continued to be friends for the next five years.

The last year of our "friendship" he totally changed and started being mean for no apparent reason sometimes. He would always say he was sorry after the fact and use some lame excuse… I started to get the feeling that he was doing this on purpose when he made a few stupid comments in reference to my mom’s death which started seeming a little suspicious.

It seemed like an honest slip of the tongue at first, then he said something that was really mean and insensitive. After talking to one of his friends, I learned some other incriminating information about him that also seemed to point to malicious intentions.

Some people might think that I should just never speak to him again and go on, but he has messed with me and the rest of my family by using my mother’s death as a means of being cruel… I don’t know what to do to settle the score that is within the bounds of the law… but this a**hole really deserves SOMETHING for being so cruel.
Please give me some ideas, if you can.
Thanks, Josie.

Revenge JokerHi Josie,
You have received some very good advice from your friends, don’t bother with him anymore, cut him out of your life.

He’s a narcissistic control freak. He cares only for himself and his needs, no matter what he has to do or say to anyone else.

But for your revenge, I’m sure that you have some nice dirt on him, something that you could really scare him with if only you had an anonymous way to contact him and let him know that his secret is out. Let’s OUT him.

Using his own bad behavior against him you can place that call, be it the police, a government official, whoever and for whatever purpose. Make him sweat knowing that he’s being investigated for that deep, dark secret.

That will be your revenge.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

About 5 months ago, my girlfriend who I had dated for 7 months, and gone after tirelessly for two years prior to that broke up with me.

I never got any real explanation as to why, so I kind of just went into this depression and dealt with things on my own, and I let her go…

About a month or so ago, the foolish me got a hold of her again to see how she was and see if I could fix things with her considering I loved her for a long long time.

We started talking and everything seemed ok, and for a month she kept telling me she still loved me too and wanted to try to working things out with me, but she kept telling me the problem was that her mom didn’t like me, so that was stopping her.

Every time I’d try to see her when her mother wasn’t present, she had an excuse not to, she seemed to be avoiding me, but still, I kept on, and she kept telling me how much she still loved me.

I have always done everything for this girl. I never said anything mean, I’ve always been caring and giving, and what I found out next made me sick.

Even after a month of her telling me she still loved me, I find out that she’s talking to another guy, and she was hiding it from me. Now, yes… I was jealous, but that’s not why I want revenge.

If she would have told me to start with, that she was talking to someone else, I would have understood but instead she just acted like my emotions were non-existent, and broke my heart again.

She knows she did it, and she doesn’t care. She’s evil and cold hearted. She could have easily spared me the pain that I feel now. I need revenge. What should I do? Thanks for your help Revenge Guy!

Revenge JokerHi Ken,
Revenge for the broken hearted, eh?

You made the rules and she ran with her own game plan. You want to re-establish the relationship but you want her all or nothing.

Well, get ready for nothing because if she catches you at this revenge idea you’ll never, ever see her again.

Text her being the “other guy” or message her some way being him. There are all kinds of online text services you can use, you don’t have to have a phone, just a computer and know who her cell phone provider is and their webpage for sending text messages online to a phone.

Send a letter telling her about his “history” with other girls. Make up some bad, sad stories of how he treated them badly and wants forgiveness.
Let her believe this letter, even if only for a few hours.

You’ll likely be found out, of course, but revenge will be yours, if only momentarily.

Otherwise just call up her mom pretending to be the local health center and leaving a reminder message for her daughter’s “treatment appointment”.

Honestly, it seems to me that what you want is revenge on her that will put her back into your arms. And I’m not much good at getting people back together after they’ve broken up. You might find some info and advice on this dating site, but that’s up to you.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi RG,
I have a bit of a problem.

I met this guy and we immediately hit it off. After a few months, he confessed that he had gotten in a little trouble before we met and had to go to court. He then mentioned he was $100 short for his court fees and asked me to loan it to him. I reluctantly did it because I have my own bills, but he PROMISED to pay me back that Friday with his paycheck.

The next day I went to court with him but waited outside the room. He said the Judge ordered him to pay an additional $75.00 or he would be arrested. Well I gave him another $75 on the PROMISE that he’d be giving me the money back that Friday. Friday came and I heard nothing from him all day (keep in mind he would call me at least 3 times a day prior to this).

I finally called him… guess what? NO ANSWER!!! I sent him text msgs, I called his friends, no one knew anything.

He finally calls me and has an ATTITUDE with me!!! He tells me he’ll give me the money the next day, I didn’t get it the next day either. This has been going on for a week now, he keeps telling me he’ll give it to me but never does.

I just left him a very nice voicemail saying that I’ve accepted the fact that he’s not going to give me the money back and I wished him the best in whatever he does… now I’m ready for the REVENGE! I’ve done things to ex’s before, you know the whole key the car, slash the tires thing, but he used my kindness as a weakness and I want him to PAY (literally)!!!!
Susie G

Revenge JokerHi Susie G,
Well, you’ve got great cover by letting him know he’s off the hook for paying you back. He really won’t suspect you of getting revenge now, just let this sit for another month or so, let him think you’ve totally cooled to it.

Then what I’d do is start putting up "Roommate Needed" signs;
"Person for hire";
"Delivery service";
And any other service you can think of. Make posters for everything with his name and cell-phone number. Put the posters up on street posts, in grocery stores, local employment centers, everywhere you can think of.

Let him pay you back in time wasted.

And let me tell you, next time get every loan signed for, a contract for repayment. People will be less likely to borrow when they have to sign a contract that could land them in jail for not paying. A loan contract should have:
The amount, pay back schedule, name of loaner and borrower, address of borrower and hopefully a third person to witness the signing of this loan agreement. And take them to court the moment they are more than 30 days, or two payback days have been missed.

And more revenge? If you have some dirt on him use it to embarrass him badly. Share the dirt to his co-workers, students, whoever he works with or goes to class with.

Push him into the light of public opinion.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Revenge Request Denied

The Revenge Guy

You know that I give great, honest advice for people to correct how they've been wronged in their life. But unknown until now, I do reject a lot of revenge requests. Some are just from kids, hurting because a friend turned on them. Hey, that's life, all a part of growing up, like a skinned knee. Kids, talk to your parents, or an older sibling or a teacher. That's my advice for you.
Then there are the truly weird. They've been bad and want help to be badder. Sorry, it's really not going to happen. Not from this Revenge Guy, anyways.
And as a special treat for you, my faithful reader and fan, are a sampling of the "Revenge Request Denied" letters.

You know that I give great, honest advice for people to correct how they’ve been wronged in their life. But unknown until now, I do reject a lot of revenge requests. Some are just from kids, hurting because a friend turned on them. Hey, that’s life, all a part of growing up, like a skinned knee. Kids, talk to your parents, or an older sibling or a teacher. That’s my advice for you.

Then there are the truly weird. They’ve been bad and want help to be badder. Sorry, it’s really not going to happen. Not from this Revenge Guy, anyways.

And as a special treat for you, my faithful reader and fan, are a sampling of the "Revenge Request Denied" letters.

Whiner, Whiner, Pants on Fire!

Hi Revenge Guy,
Okay, so here's a little background on how everything started.

My little sister took my older sister's car without her permission one day, along wit three of her friends and got into a really bad car accident where she needed intensive medical care. then there was the whole issue of her super expensive medical bills (he was helicopter to the nearest hospital) and the issue of the car she crashed into. (she crossed the center divider into on coming traffic; the victim suffered a broken hip. my little sister was in the hospital for a month or so).

And during that time, me and my other siblings took care of her and my parents along with house.

Her stupid accident caused the family to rip apart.

My sister buys a house for my parents and moves out because she was constantly being disrespected by my little sister and little brother.

My little sister came to "rule" the entire house. She got everything her way, and me and my other older sister were always the ones to blame.

Numerous times she had taken my pricey cosmetics, made holes in my clothes and stole my jewelry and whenever I confront her, she attacks me, physically. (by the way, she's my little sister but she's twice my size).

When I tell my parents about the abuse and the arguments, they blame me for starting things with her.

My father told me and my older sister to move out the house because we stood up to him about what my little sister and brother have been doing. we constantly get yelled at and disrespected. I don't know what else to do anymore. please help! I'm desperate!
thank you,

Revenge JokerHi

I have no idea if you're 12 or 22 but enough is enough, really.
Your little sister steals your stuff? Get a lockbox and lock up the stuff you want to keep for yourself.

Your sister physically attacks you? Take pictures of the bruises, broken bones, whatever and call the police.

And maybe stop buying pricy makeup and move your ass out of the house! If it's so bad, why stay? Have you no other place to go?

Isn't there some guy that wants to shack up with you?

Seriously, what do you expect me to advise you to do?

Lockup your good makeup and put some dollar store crap in it's place and let her wear that.

Car accident aside, you've got some serious thinking to do about your place in that house.

If you're closer to 22 than 12, move out… you're older sister will take you in, if you really aren't the little bitch that you seem to be in your email.

If you're closer to 12 than 22, welcome to life, suck it in and stand up for yourself, no one else will.
I hope this moves your ass along,

Hey R.G,

NOTE: I live with my uncle.

So long story short, I have an uncle who believes that I have stolen his SUV (Mercedes), during the time it was stolen I was at my girlfriends house which is very far away from my house.

It was when I received a phone call from my dad saying that it was stolen, I was completely shocked of the news. The next day I asked him if he needed help looking for his car of course but he wouldn't let me help, everyday I would ask about the car.

A week after his car was stolen they found his car parked not so far from my house only about 5 miles from my house. Rumors started spreading from an uncle of mine who lives 6 miles from me, he stated that I have stolen the car because there was a jacket and a computer in the stolen vehicle which meant that a young person was driving it (yes I know how ridiculous that sounds).

Apparently the uncle that is living with me now already thought that I have stolen it, since there was two laptops(owned by me) in the house that was not stolen if in fact someone broke into the house and have stolen his car they would have taken the laptop too.

Note that he doesn't say anything to me but tells my mother that he KNOWS I stole the car, she is already in a stressed position because of my father cheating on her.

He tells her that she has raised a very out of control son, and that I have stolen his car and gave it to my friends for them to drive it around, adding that my mother spoils me, and that I'm a raging drug addict, making up stories that I smoke heroine.

5 reasons why I couldn't have stolen his car:

1. I couldn't have stolen his car because I was away

2. he's my uncle why would I steal his car when I have my own car to drive

3. if he knew me well he would know that my personality says otherwise that I would never do anything of that sort.

4. No fingerprints were found that were mine

5. I LIVE with him who would be that stupid to steal a car when I live with the person.

In my defense my mother tells him that she raised me since I was a baby and she knows I wouldn't do such a thing, and his response was that HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

I also have talked to him saying that I didn't steal it and people are just blaming me without evidence, he acted like he understood but afterwards started to tell my mother more stories. On top of all that I have cancer so as If I don't have enough stress! Since he pays rent at my house and I need the money how can I get back at him without knowing it was me. I need this revenge ..

Kick him out and get a roommate the respects you.

Geesh. Do I have nothing better to do?

Dear RG,
ok i need some tips here revenge guy and i need you to really help
so, theres this guy that i know named josh. josh has always tried to ruin my relationships and my friendships in order to "get me" as i can tell. the thing is he and my ex friend are starting to date. now he is one of those cheating types that is gunna use her, so in all reality this will be doing her a favor. how do i lead him on enough so the girl gets tired of his shit and leaves his ass at the curb? now please dont not give me advice, and i dont need my parents help, i am twenty. thank you!

If you're 20, why the drama?
 No advice, no revenge.
Act your age.

Dear Revenge guy
my family and i are getting really pissed off, our neighbors are becoming such hassles, well one day my brother his friend my friend and my neighbors kid were hanging out side like we always (use) to do , but this one day we were chilling out there and my brother and his friend were playing around making fun of neighbor kid and he told the neighbor kid to get his B.B gun and started calling him a fun sucker because he wouldn’t ( i admit my brother went a little over board with this but he just kept tormenting this kid well her went home and about half an hour later neighbor kids dad came over and started swearing like hell calling my brother an asshole and that he doesn’t want his daughter over here ever again well my parents were sleeping and they did know anything happened until the mom of the neighbor kid called my dad and told him what happened and asked if he could get my brother to stop texting him and my brother hasn’t texted him since last night and well ever since that everything went wrong.

first we weren’t allowed to have fires the neighbors called the fire department and the fire department told us that we are never allowed to have a fire ever again ( now we have nothing to do at night so we watch t.v and play video games ) well sure shit the next morning around noon a city car comes to the house and says that we have a complaint on us ( my brother his friend and my friend we have nothing to do in the afternoon so we took these pimped out lawn mowers and went mudd bogging and) well we got a complaint that people were getting mad about the noise so we weren’t allowed to ride the lawn mowers anymore which was "bull".

well just today actually we got a letter in the mail that said our motor home is not allowed to be there anymore(we own a motor home it have been in the same place forever we normally go camping in the summer but in the winter we just leave it) well we got a note that said it must be gone be november 5 well that just flipped my lid who the "f" has the right to move our trailer it wasn’t bugging anyone it was just a wall between the freaking neighbors and us ( which was awesome) yeah so now my family and i want to get revenge any ideas ????
fed up with my neighbor

Your family wants revenge, or YOU just want someone else to blame?
Time to grow up dearie, actions have consequences and it sounds to me that you are just learning this.
Good luck in life, you’ll need it!

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have a story to tell. I am eighteen years old, female, and I was living by myself in my stepdads old apartment when I met a young man in the park one day. He was hot and I was horny and so I took him back to the apartment for some fun*. We did it to Nirvana. He, however did not feel content with just a fling and asked to be my boyfriend. I was kind and generous at the time and told him that he could stay with me. We went to get his things at the shelter he was living at and brought them to "my" apartment.

Well, my mother and step father found out that I had someone else living there and proceeded to move all my stuff to their garage and confront us that night. In the time I had spent with him I had grown quite attached so I took what money I had and vacated. We bought a tent, and began to live the homeless life. It was hard, and every day was a struggle, but I was willing to suffer… for him.

Many weeks passed and winter was coming. We had very few blankets. He often spoke of his home, New Orleans and how he and a friend had a house down there. He also said that if we could raise enough for one bus ticket, his uncle would provide the rest. I was ill with bronchitis, and very cold most of the time, so warm New Orleans sounded good to me. I had to quit my job because I no longer had the means to get there. (Plus I was sick of being their bitch) so I went to pick up my last check and so have enough money to get one of us down there, as he said his uncle would provide the rest. I handed him the money, and he told me to go back to camp and pack our belongings. Then, he said, to meet him at the local bus station at 1:30 in the morning. He would meet me there. Then he pecked my lips and went on his way. I went and sat on a duffel bag full of our things and waited. 1:30 came and went…then 2:30….finally at 3 AM I hauled all our stuff over to the Greyhound station. It was closed. There wasn’t a soul in sight. Unwilling to believe that he’d betray me in such a way, I ran to look at the schedule. A bus headed for Dallas left at 1:25 am. He’d left me. Left me to be robbed or killed or raped. Without a second glance.

Surely this treachery deserves the deepest revenge? What could I do to him that would make up for what he took from me? I’m not talking about the piddly 160 dollars. How can I take his ability to love and trust and destroy it in one sitting? How?

The destruction of a promising life comes in many guises.
You met the devil and welcomed him in.
You’re lucky all he did was steal your money and screw you a few times… then screw you over.
Get a check up for STD’s, talk to your parents about the error of your ways and ask for forgiveness.

You still have a chance at a good life, don’t ruin it by making the mistake you made have a more tragic ending.
He’s gone, isn’t that justice enough?

Good luck!

Dear Revenge Guy,
My friend, lets call her grace, recently started going out with this guy, lets call him fatty. Well anyway fatty and grace were going great and my friends and I had no problem with him except they were all over each other all the time and this made us a little uncomfortable, but fatty took this uncomfortableness as us not liking him and that we were b*tching about him. He turned grace completely against us and started b*tching about us to grace now she’s started b*tching about us too and she is believing people she barely knows over us her friends of 13 years one of those people she believes over us lets call her Mary has further worsened the situation by spreading lies about us b*tching about grace and fatty but no one believes she could lie because she’s the sweetest nicest girl ever but deep down she evil. We know that she’s doing it because her old best friend, mike stopped hanging out with her and started hanging out with us and she hates the fact he prefers us to her.

The thing is now we found out that fatty has done this to other girls and he’s bad news, grace won’t believe us and we know it’s going to end in tears, we’ll be there for her when she needs us but we want to make fatty pay for what he’s done to us turning grace against us, i also want to show everyone that mary is a two faced little bitch, i badly need your help
S. Pissed off

Hi S. Pissed Off,

Let them ruin their own lives and you live yours.

Seriously, you have a mothering complex or something?
Geesh, join the SPCA and rescue kittens, leave these selfish complaining untrustworthy people to their own fate.

I wouldn’t give a fart in the wind to affect their lives one way or the other.

This isn’t what you wanted to hear, but seriously, is your social circle so tight that people can’t come and go?

Worry about hunger and AIDS in Africa, but your energy to some good use.

dear revenge guy,
i’ve broken up with my ex bf for awhile now and i’m starting to get over him. he did some pretty bad stuff to me and i’ve decided to block him out of my life. but out of the blue a week ago, he send me a msg telling me that he’s never forgotten about me and i’ll always be special to him. the thing is, he has a new gf already and i was shocked that he would still say that to me. so when i told his new gf when he said, she flipped out me and told me i was a liar and just trying to break them up. now i’m the bad guy in all of this. and the worst part is, his new gf is spreading rumours about me to her friends that i’m obsessed with my ex and has no life but to try to be in his! i need help on how to shut her mouth up ’cause being nice isn’t going to cut it anymore.
loves from lost girl

You’re right, they’re right, who cares?
Just ignore both of them, don’t make a big drama out of it.
Really, I don’t get involved in this type of petty quarrel.

Hi revenge guy!
I am SOOOOOOO FREAKIN mad at my best friend! As we were walking toward this guys bus, he said So I hear you like me. What the hell am I supposed to do????!?!?!?! I know you said not to send you ones like this, but I really need your help! I NEED PAYBACK!
You scared the cheese out of me!

You’re right, I don’t reply to this stuff.
Grow up.
You’re not that special.

Dear revenge guy,
For most of my life my father has not been a part of my life. When my mother and father got divorced he pretty much dropped out of my life no matter how much my mom tried to get him involved with my life. needless to say that never happened and its hurt me more than any physical pain could. Once around when I was 16 he called and asked for forgiveness and to be let into my life. I agreed, then i haven’t heard from him…until last night. I want him to feel how i feel. Any help would be loved.
Neglected son

This isn’t a revenge question you’ve posed.
You need to be able to open up to your dad and let him know how you feel, and how you’ve felt, all these years. Your emotion, if true, will strike him deeply.
His neglect and the rejection you feel is likely caused by things outside of your control and maybe even your dad’s.
It’s time to come to terms with the way life is and move forward, not living in the hurtful past. But do confront him and talk to him.
Best wishes,

hi my name is XXXX, and ive been living with my boyfriend for 7 months now, we’ve been together for 9. at first everything was fine. i liked his sister HHH, we used to go hang out at her house all the time. then one day everything changed. she moved in. now the problem is, my boyfriend and i are tight on money right now so we are living with his mom. well HHH had a fight with her bf and they broke up, so she moved in too. i didnt like it from the begining but i tried to handle it and understand that she’s had some misfortane lately and she had no were else to go, so she turned to family of corse.
with in hours of her settling in she changed completely. my boyfriends mom has never been a clean person from what i can see, and she has always expected me to be the maid of the house, which i refuse to do. so now HHH looks at me and my boyfriend as slobs. so now she cleans up after her mom. long story short, HHH has changed the entire house.
she rearanged things and has put limitations on us. for instance, the big bowls im not allowed to use for cereal anymore. everything in the fridge that we dont buy our selves is now off limits, if we dont do our dishes right away she decides the next morning to blast music at 6 am. she uses all the hot water everyday. its to the point in which ive gotten 1 shower every 4 days. everytime i do laundry something ends up missing. she takes my clothes and claims they belong to her. so ive put my initials on everything i own. she tried pushing me down the stairs today because i didnt fold the towels she washed. now she says i cant use them at all. which is lame, but at the same time everytime i wash towels they go missing too. also she keeps removing my sons things from the living room and the bathroom, she says they dont belong there. my son is only with me 50 percent of the time, other wize hes with his dad. but that doesnt mean i have to box up everything that belongs to him when hes not here. but she seems to think so. shes been told to leave his things alone but she just ignores us and does it anyway. she has even gone as far as throwing my sons car seat down the stairs!! she keeps locking my cat in the laundry room where she meows constantly. and she ties up the phone line and has her friends come over and she talks about me and my boyfriend to all her friends so everytime i come in the room i get dirty looks. its rediculous. my boyfriends mom has given HHH permission to control the house hold. so i cant do anything as far as telling her off or fighting with her over these things. my boyfriend and i stopped paying rent so that we can save money to move out.
so far all ive done to get her back is take back what clothes i can find in her room when shes not home, ive stuck her tooth brush in my urine, and i put nair in her conditioner. other than that i have nothing. please i need more ideas, she has done so many things to me i want to get her back!!
thank you!
pissed off kitten

Sorry Kitten,
There is no revenge needed here. You have a child from one guy, living with another guy in his mother’s house?
Life has it’s tough brakes but I think that your boyfriend’s sister, although a little overboard, is trying to assert some authority and rules where there never were any before.
The four of you have to have a mature, adult discussion over how things should be and whose rules they are all to follow.
And you need to seek work, since you only have your baby half the time or another place to live so you can stop being a leach and take the responsibility for your life that an adult does.

Hey Revengeguy….
I used to be an employee at an electronics store until I quit three weeks ago (college) but
I took my car into the car stereo install dept to have some speakers put in at 10am when they opened. I even made an appt 5 days prior. When I came in my appt block was scribbled out. These guys were under the impression that I am still an employee and I can still use my discount, which by the way will give me a 50% off, for the installation. I got a call around 6pm that they couldn’t get to my car and it wasn’t done. They said other customers came first. Someone is out to get me.
I want to get these guys good for shoving me to the side and not hooking a fellow employee, well former employee, up. I’m still trying to use my employee number which hasn’t been cut off yet. I don’t want to complain to the managerial staff because they’ll make sure it’s cut off. Any help would be appreciated.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Grow up.

ok i need help here, theres these two girls at school, horrible people… myself and them are all sophmors this year, if that helps any i could use some help here, heres my motive:

last year this girl named XXXXX nagged me to let her jump in front of me in line, (kid stuff) well since she was a total bitch to me all day i just said "no" and she did so anyways after telling her to move she slapped me across the face ((HARD)) for no reason whatsoever and because im a guy, and that makes me more intimidating i spent a week sitting in detention…im pissed

one of my friends got into a fight when a guy hit my friends sister in the face with a basketball, and later sucker punched my friend, my father works as the custodian at my high school and stepped in to break up the fight, (my friend was losing bad) (fights like a girl) and the other guy hit my dad, so naturally i stepped in , while stepping in, i accidentally bumbed this girl pushing threw the crowd, and when it was done, and over with she screamed, cussed, and threw books at me because i nudged her

im a nice, guy, and i dont think i deserved that treatment, the other girl is also a major bitch, and has just always rubbed me the wrong way. i got no problem, taking her down with the other, or anyone else for that matter normally im pretty crafty, but im sure you’ve got more experience than me, so im counting on you

Revenge JokerNo.

Life gets harder, get used to it.


(You may think this a little harsh, but seriously, what is this kid, 15, 16? Geesh, stop the pushing and shoving, get over it. No wonder they say girls mature earlier than boys. Geesh!)

Here’s a great example of the petty, mind-numbing itdiots that I don’t bother give revenge advice to. Geesh people, grow up, get a life before you try to decide that yours is ruined and you want to get someone back!


Revenge JokerHi
You haven’t given me a reason for you to need revenge other than the fact she has more friends than you do.

That’s immature and petty.

Talk to your parents.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

What’s good, Revenge Guy?
I got this girl who I’ve been with for the better part of six years, save for a couple of periods where her and I had broken up and dated other people. One such period was last summer, when she began to date an unsavory (Spanish for "drug dealer") character. All the while, we’re still sleeping together, she’s stealing from him to give to me, lying to him, you know, the whole nine. One unfortunate night while out with the fellas, I get a call from her, saying they had had an altercation and he had beat her up pretty bad.

Now I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that the feelings were still there, so I did what any man in love would….I immediately dropped everything and came to her aid and even offered to go tune his ass up a bit, which was already on my plate because this prick had ruined a pretty decent night of ho-hopping. Of course, she refused to let me go visit the young man, telling me he’d shoot up her car if he saw it. THEN, the asshole calls her phone, berating her and laughing at her!! I’m ready to throw this kid a necktie party at this point, but just as sure as the sun rises, the punk goes into hiding. This would be a good time to point out, that in her anger, she gave me his address, plus his life is public record (more on this in a sec).

So in the days and weeks afterward, her and I grew closer and eventually became a couple again. Honestly, the love was pretty much gone, and it became a convenience thing for me. This, however, did not stop us from moving in together. BIG MISTAKE.

Fast forward to earlier this year. The house phone rings, and it’s
him. FROM PRISON. A couple things before I continue. First, she lived at home with her parents before we moved in, so he had written her at her parents’ (which I found out about a week or so), and she had not only not told me, but had responded and GIVEN HIM THE PHONE NUMBER TO MY MUTHAF$#@%N HOUSE! WHERE WE LIVED TOGETHER!!!!! Hold on, my head is about to explode.

Better now. Second thing. Since he is a convicted felon and presently on an "iron vacation", anyone with Internet access is able to pull up his record (records in this case, this kid is a real scumbag). So I did some research and found out that he’s in a state prison a couple hundred miles out of the city, and get this–he’s not eligible for parole until Valentine’s Day 2008!

Back to the initial phone call, though. So I confront her about him calling MY
MUTHAF%*&!N HOUSE, to which she replies, and I quote, "I feel sorry for him….if it were reversed, I’d talk to you!" So against my every wish, she continues to talk to him and even began writing him. When he calls (present tense), she runs into the bedroom and closes the door. This no-good heifer even took to writing him, which I found out because she was bold enough to leave a letter on the couch in plain view!

So about two weeks ago, I found a credit card receipt from a gas station in a suburb of the city I live in. I didn’t pay it any mind until I realized that it was on a day that she had told me she would be in church all day with her parents (her dad is a reverend). So my inner P.I. came out and I Mapquested (indulge me) the PRISON HE WAS IN, and found out that this gas station in about 25 miles away from there. I confronted her about it, she tried to feed me some bulls$%t that I didn’t even pay attention to, let alone remember now.

Until last night. We got into an argument and about berating her for
some time, she got pissed off and admitted she had in fact, visited him in jail.

Now I have been sleeping with other women since we reconciled (sh!t don’t stop. ever), and it’s nothing to go and do that. I think this deserves something unforgettable. Something that will leave a mark. I still live with her, and have access to a wealth of info (bank cards/passwords, etc.), her clothing, her car, her parents’ church, I could go on all day, but you get it. I really want to serve her ass real proper like (or whatever these kids say these days). Give me something GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Revenge JokerDude,
Honestly, I think you’ve both got what you bargained for.

Goodness no, you need to have an honest life to need revenge. You have to have been wronged. You have just been treated as you treat her.
My only hope for you is that somehow, sooner or later, you straighten up before you have any kids.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear RG,
I used to have this amazing best friend except she was the manipulative type that was actually mean and fake. I helped her become popular and then she started hitting on my boyfriend and caused us to break up on top of that she’s said horrible things to me. We’ve been friends off and on but this time it was a baddddddd fight, I kept my cool but I still want revenge. I like this boy John and she swore she wouldn’t tell she told everyone and now I’m humiliated especially since he has a girlfriend and I said I hated her! I cant stand this girl she is ruining my life. What do I do???

Hey Revenge Guy,
My name is Jay, and I want to get revenge on a jerk who has caused me discomfort. I’m not usually the kind of person to do these kind of things, but now it’s gone too far. There’s this guy at my school, and we used to be friends, but then he turned on me, and started calling me names like fat, fag and others. I called him short one day and he got angry and tried to hit me, but I dodged it and he ran out of the room. I’d love to get revenge on this guy, because I really don’t like him anymore, and I want to teach him a lesson he’ll remember for life.

Revenge JokerHi to the both of you,
[Usually I don’t answer like this, but I get a lot of emails like this, from young teens]

The solution is:
Get the person that turned on you out of your life.
They have proven that they are not a true friend. Yet, in our desire to be liked, we forgive easily. Only to be betrayed time and time again. "Turn the other cheek"? Ha!
Stop being that person’s pawn.

Stop forgiving and move on with new friends. Don’t hang around and keep coming back for more abuse.

The only way (and really, it’s the only way) to straighten out friends that have turned on you is to leave them alone. Let them figure out on their own if there was any value to your own friendship. And if they don’t come back to you begging for forgiveness for treating you so horribly then you’re better off without them.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear RG,
My husband is a jerk. He keeps promising me he will stop being selfish and rude to me. I am ready to leave. I moved back in with him after he promised to stop his behavior. He started again the next day. I want him to change. He needs a swift kick in the ass. What should my strategy be? He lies to me, makes up excuses and worried only about himself. He is a child, not my husband!

Revenge JokerHi,
You want to save your marriage yet you ask The Revenge Guy for help?
Men don’t change.
A swift kick in the ass is calling a divorce lawyer.
Save yourself. If he won’t change, finds someone that you’ll be better off with.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

[Special note from RG: The next letter may seem particularly harsh in my reply. I don’t fix broken hearts. I don’t like dealing with kids that are having sex and then emailing a stranger for advice when things go wrong, events that are far beyond their own experience and maturity. Some things are better left to parents to deal with. Simple enough, eh?]

Dear Revenge Guy,

I really need your help on this one i can’t think of the perfect way to get them back. here’s my sad story…
i have been hanging out with this girl for months now and i started liking her more everyday. and it got to the point where i gave her my virginity and we had sex like every night. it was amazing and i fell in love with her. i thought it was time for her to meet my best friend. i introduced them and then 2 nights later me my best friend and the girl i loved slept over my house. it ended up that they did stuff in my own bed when i fell asleep and then it just was all downhill from there. now they have sex everyday when they camp out at a spot that me and her used to camp out. They broke my heart and now it’s REVENGE TIME., i need a good plan. I really think i should do somthing to them when they are camping in the bush out in the middle of nowhere. they camp near a big hill and i know the whole area really good. please help me out. my x bestfriend betrayed me and it’s time to get payback.
Thanks for your help
A Guy

Revenge Joker

Hi A Guy,

Talk to your parents about this.

You’re easy and she’s a slut.
You want revenge?
You need to realize that life is full of crap and you’re not to step in it.
You stepped in it.

You want revenge?
Go to where they "do it" and take pictures.
Give them to her parents, post them on MySpace, I don’t care.
This isn’t what I’m about. You fell in it.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

Hey there! My name is Dan and I desperately need help getting over on a girl that is lying about me and making my life miserable.

This past fourth of July I was celebrating at my girlfriend’s house with her white trash cousin and her white trash boyfriend. Some how he and I ended up arguing, I left the party with my girlfriend and that was the end, or so I thought. The next day she’s claiming that I assaulted her and that her boyfriend beat me up and my girlfriend’s family believes her!

None of what she is saying is true, and I find myself fighting tooth and nail to make my girlfriend’s parents believe I’m not a woman beater. I want to get her back and make her hate her life and wish she was never born! I don’t want to get arrested and I am a poor student so I couldn’t afford an extravagant prank. What can I do? I need help!

To give you insight into what kind of girl she is to better help your assessment of what to do; she is white trash, ugly, with an ugly white wannabe-be gangsta boyfriend, who is dumb and creates drama for attention in her family because she is a waste and most of the others are successful. I’d really like to embarrass, and expose her her to as many people as possible!!!
Thank you,

Revenge Joker

Hi Dan,
Sometimes you have to man up and live past the abuse of others.

You already know you’re better than her and her boyfriend, now is the time to prove it in your actions.

Revenge isn’t the answer here, it’s time to MAN UP dude!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

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