Custody Battles And The Revenge Guy: Watch Out!
RG understands that, after a breakup or divorce, custody arrangements can turn nasty.
And the poor kids get beat on emotionally because of the one-sided bitterness. Although the real resolutions are in family court, there are ways that RG can help to make your life a little easier.
Dear Revenge Guy,
Here's the story:
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years has a crazy ex, let's call her Cindy. She is also the mother of his 10 year old child, Matt.
Cindy has refused to let us have Matt on numerous occasions, by telling the police that my boyfriend sells drugs, hits her, so on and so forth.
At one point last fall, after not seeing Matt for over 6 months, Cindy finally shows up at the designated meeting spot (they have to meet in public to exchange the child because my boyfriend is so unpredictable and violent, according to her) only to have two police cars follow in behind her. They arrest my boyfriend for driving on a suspended license because of an unpaid ticket. This is all in front of Matt who is crying and sobbing. My boyfriend had to perform 20 hours of community service and pay $150 fine. The community service hours had to be performed at a certain time, which happened to be on our anniversary.
Now, today, Cindy is again threatening to send the police to our house because my boyfriend is 'threatening' her by not driving 2 hours one way to drop Matt back off, because she doesn't 'feel' like driving anywhere.
She bad mouths my boyfriend in front of Matt, told Matt that I was nothing but a white trash whore (yes used those words). She makes our lives hell, even though she is remarried and had another child (oh yeah, I forgot, my boyfriend also made her have a miscarriage because he yelled at her over the phone, he 'killed' matt's baby brother or sister, more lies as told by Cindy).
I need to find a way to punish this woman for all the pain she has caused my boyfriend and the damage she had done to her son. Her husband is a CIA agent, so I have to be careful. But please if you have any ideas I would extremely grateful.
Hi Beaton On,
It's time to detail all the events, journal everything with dates, times and events; have your boyfriend fly straight; and call a lawyer. Revenge here isn't the answer, retribution through the legal system is.
It's time also to get the custody agreement reworked, I think. This is where you need the lawyer and the journal of events. Personally, I'd be spending a ton of money on recording equipment to get all these lies on tape and present them to the judge at the next court appearance.
Because of the ongoing harassment maybe it's time to curtail the visits with Matt because having the child in the midst of this isn't fair to him.
Let Matt know that there will be no more visits because of his mother's behavior. Matt is old enough to understand why his parents are in different families, why he can only see his dad occasionally and why there is a judge that your boyfriend and Matt's mother needs to see sometimes.
Maybe the point will be made.
Cindy does sound beyond crazy to the point of abusiveness and violence.
Her husband being a CIA agent is likely a lie. Agents don't talk about their employment.
Maybe start sending her husband some flowers from "A Special Valentine" to her home. And I'd post up some room for rent signs for her home just to keep her busy as well.
The Revenge Guy
My boyfriend is in the midst of getting a divorce. He and his soon-to-be ex-wife have a 4 month old baby girl that he would give the whole world for.
She has turned nasty ugly from the first day they established divorce papers and doesn't seem to be slowing down. The only "custody" he has right now is temporary and its only 6 hours a week. He drives a total of an hour to see his baby and the entire time he is there, Cruella Devile gives him a hard time therefore, he doesn't enjoy his time like he would like too.
She is threatening insurance fraud and jail time, and gave him two weeks to come up with $1000 dollars for medical charges that we never received confirmation of.
She is also demanding he pay for ALL of her attorney fees and anything else she can think of.
She is a nurse and makes plenty of money to keep her happy. We on the other hand, are barely scrapping by after child support is paid. She KNOWS we don't have the money to pay her, and she said her goal was for him to live on the streets.
Today, he had to give up his rights to his daughter in hopes that Cruella would stop pushing. The final hearing was set for the 29th of this month and we were thrilled! Now, in attempts to hurt him more, she has pushed it back another two months, which puts off his custody rights. His entire family is mortified and devastated. Please help me in getting legal revenge
The helpless girlfriend
After I fired off my snarky remark to you it came to me: just how naive you really are.
Your boyfriend's wife just had a baby and you're wondering why she's so mean and resentful? 13 months ago, maybe 14, he was sleeping with her in a possibly happy marriage.
Just when did your affair start?
And how long do you think it'll last?
You've tied yourself to this train for at least the next 18 years, or maybe the rest of your life.
You're not just dating this guy, you're dating his baby and his wife (soon-to-be-ex-wife?) and her whole family.
She JUST had his baby and now the father is shacking up with you? His family must be very supporting for him to dump his wife and find a replacement so soon after.
I'm not going to ask what caused the break-up, I really don't care.
But the simple fact that you want revenge on the wife shows me that you have NO IDEA what you've got yourself into.
Think about this: he has a daughter, he has obligations for the next 18 years to make sure, financially and emotionally, that the daughter is well cared for.
Now, what that really means is that the wife will know everything about your relationship with him.
She will know how much money you have, she will know when you go on vacations and where, she will have a lawyer checking every time this guy shits just in case a dollar slips out that she needs to get her hands on.
Are you really, truly, ready for this type of life?
Revenge is the last thing you should be thinking of. You (maybe) will soon have a step-daughter. YOUR obligations will grow beyond this ass you're with. The wife will have power over everything, despite whatever custody is decided by the courts.
And still, he needs a better lawyer.
The Revenge Guy