Roommate Owes Me Money

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,

I have a roommate who is 3 weeks late on rent. She claims that her bank accounts were cancelled and is trying to set up a new one. She hasn’t been home for 3 weeks because she got a new job in a new city. I told her she needs to be out by the first of the month and give me the money she owes before she leaves. Every time I ask her what is going on with her bank accounts she comes up with a new story.

All of her possessions are still in the apartment but I’m worried she is going to take all her things while I’m gone and leave for good without paying.

How should I get my money or get back at her if she skips town for good?

Thanks for your help, you’re the best!

The Revenge Guy Hi,
I’d change the locks and let your landlord know what’s going on (if you’re not the landlord.

Best wishes,

Roommate Leaseholder Asshole

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I’ve been living with a group of people in a four bedroom two bathroom apartment. Two of the rooms are occupied by people who have been here longer than me.

Recently my boyfriend moved in. Everyone in the apartment seemed very supportive of this idea. I was the most hesitant one.

One month after he moves in my room mate who is on the lease claims that there was a $400 rent spike. I have no way to verify this as rent is a very complicated thing in NYC. I was in a vulnerable state, as my boyfriend had just moved it and we had to make sure he could find work. They talked us into taking half of the rent hike, which was $200 a month. That really ads up seeing as my rent was $750 in the first place.

Everything seemed to be going okay until I realized that I was paying way more in rent than everyone for one of the shittiest rooms (small, and the window is in a window shaft). I approached my room mate and offered to pay an extra $50 a month on top of the $200 if I could move into the biggest room. This seemed to make sense to me since the person in that room was supposedly having financial trouble. The lease holder took great offense to this. He would not even ask the other room mate if she might be interested in that. I thought this was very fair because if I moved out then everyone’s rent will go up because they will never be able to rent this room for what they’re charging me. The other girl’s room is literally twice the size of mine.

I think he was lying about the rent increase.

I was going to pay for part of my rent in cash. My room mate was gone until about 10 pm on the first. As I was walking to his room to pay rent he was going off to his girlfriend on speaker phone with his door open about how he doesn’t think we’re going to pay rent because we didn’t get our way (I’m really not this type of person and had been close friends with this guy and shared many joints over the past year and a half). He starts saying all this BS. I listened for 20 minutes.

Needless to say I immediately went apartment hunting and gave him 30 days notice on the 8th of the month. He tried to get me to stay longer and I told him I overheard this conversation and it made me uncomfortable to say there.

He literally started yelling at me and accusing me of eavesdropping even though he’s the dumb ass that had the door open and was on speaker phone.

He still has a deposit from me and I really want it back without having to go to court. I think I will lose 8 days of rent because this guy will milk the 30 days rule for all it’s worth instead of just finding someone in the 3 weeks before the first. It’s June in NYC. They can definitely find someone.

What are some ways I can get this asshole back without him finding out it was me? Or something that would take a few weeks to really find.

The Revenge GuyHi, I’m sure you’ve heard of Craigslist? I’d post a few ads on different rental and roommate sites advertising the room. For the next few months. Add that he’s a night worker and they need to call between 2:00am and 6:00am.

Should be fun! And I’m certain he’ll never track it back to you. If you need to use an email address, find a throw-away email address. Or use a spoof service to call in the ad, if you’re that adventurous.

Have fun!

Revenge Guy Gets Roommates

The Revenge Guy

Need a little help getting even with roommates that have done you wrong?

Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need to help you get even and regain your stature as an important person.

Dude Kicks Me Out For No Reason! Read on…

Revenge Guy,

So I had a kind of altercation last night and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I’m in college, and my ex-roommate was kind of a weird kid. I’d go out every night, he’d stay in and play computer games, I’d invite girls over, I’ve never even seen him talk to one, etc.

I wasn’t a bad roommate.

Last night though I went to a party with 2 friends at the house he apparently lives in now. Everything was cool until he ran up and attacked us, pushing, shoving, throwing punches etc.

We couldn’t do anything because it was his house. We had to leave, and it was embarrassing.

We literally didn’t do anything, just walked up like everyone else. I’ve never been booted from a party before, it hurts.

What can we do to… I dunno… Send this guy a message or something? We’d like to think we’re not dudes you mess around with.

-Some college dudes

Revenge JokerHi

Well, that’s quite bizarre, I have to tell you.

I guess he really didn’t like you much as a roommate but he should still respect you as a person.

I think posting some “Party Here” posters will get even with him. Draw them up, print them out and spear them around, let him deal with the crowd.

Make sure the party is a “Midnight – Come As You Are” type party… send me pics!

Dear Revenge Guy,

My roommate in my apartment in psychotic, and that is no lie.

Basically, she has to have everything HER way. She has 3 credit cards with mommy and daddy’s names on them, and refuses to clean anything because at home she doesn’t have to.

When me and my other normal roommate confronted her, she went ballistic and told people we personally attacked her… all I said was that she needs to stop being so manipulative and help out around the apartment and stop talking trash behind our backs.

Since then, she has gone out of her way to make our lives a living hell-this girl is BEASTLY, built like a man (she’s on the women’s soccer team here) and she told all her little soccer buddies that we’re basically two satans in disguise.

On top of that, she has previously admitted (when we were still on speaking terms) that she hates homosexuals, would rather have a "Retarded" baby than a "gay" baby, and that she doesn’t need a job because her parents told her that her job is to be a kid… um, HELLO, she is 20?!!?!?!

Basically, revenge
is needed. badly. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me. You’re my only hope with this one!
Sincerely, Anna

Revenge JokerDear

Stop cleaning up after her. Get a pad of sticky notes and write her name on them. On every dish, every mess, attach a sticky with her name and the date on it and take a picture.

Take lots of pictures.

Pick a website to post them up on… FaceBook, MySpace, Fotolog, where-ever.

Once you have enough photos, send the website address to her parents. Mind you, they’re probably glad just to have her out of the house.
Send the website address to her family and parent’s friends. Friends of hers. Who ever you can think of.

And move.

Get your name off of the lease and move.

Why would you want to make a bad situation worse when you’re still stuck living with her?

Seriously, you need to cover yourself and get out of a bad situation.

Revenge isn’t the answer here, email me when you’re moving out.

Until then hold your ground, get everything in writing concerning her, receipts for all bill payments…. cover your ass, basically.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I’m desperately in need of your help as someone has been really hurtful to me and I cant take anymore.

I moved into a house with five other people in June last year. Everything was going fine, although a couple of the lads are very prone to practical jokes. They have done a few things in the past that have upset a few of the others but what they have done to me is really horrible.

I went to visit my boyfriend for the weekend and upon my return, found that they had been in my room. They had corrupted some files on my personal computer, smashed a precious ornament, cut off my bike lock and perhaps the worst – they got hold of some books I had been left by my father who sadly passed away last year and ripped out pages from them. These books were quite valuable editions, not to mention the emotional attachment.

They didn’t say anything until I found out by going through my stuff after I found my bike lock and ornament. Then when confronted, they mumbled apologies but really don’t care at all. This has destroyed me, as they were the only things I had from my father and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to move out as soon as I can but I have signed a tenancy agreement till early next year.

please please help me, its hurt me so much and i need revenge.

Revenge JokerDear

Revisit the tenancy agreement and possibly find a clause that will allow you to break the lease legally because of the behavior of these asses.

Follow that up with the landlord and make a formal complaint to the police.

And prepare a small claims suit against them. Visit your local court house and get the info you need to file a claim.
Don’t let these jerks get away with anything.

And get lock boxes, door locks and a hidden video camera in your room now!
Go legal and make these little boys pay a manly price!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I live in a house with three other single guys. Our house has been around for several years. When one guy moves out, we have always found another to move in. It had always been a great place to live because the rent is much more affordable than getting your own apartment, and you also have much more space with more social life. I’m the one with the most seniority in the house, so responsibility for managing the communal bills and issues defaulted to me.

We took in a new guy a few months ago when another roommate moved out. He came recommended by one of our existing roommates and two other friends of mine. He’s also the youngest guy out of the four. For some reason, he’s felt the need to bully us around the entire time living in the house. One of the guys sided with him, and the other sided with me, so there are two distinct factions in the house now. This guy show signs of hypochondria and paranoia, and he acts very impulsively with most of his anger directed towards me. I’ve tried to analyze his bizarre behavior, and I think it’s because I don’t let him rule the house the way he wants. I’ve stood up to him the whole time because I feel his motivations are power-driven and not for the sake of a fair household.

Specifically, he’s
been late with his rent payments and blames it on me for not reminding him enough. I had to cover the late fee for him. He is the messiest person in the house and makes demands that we have to clean up his mess for him. For a month and half after his move-in, he left hundreds of his boxes throughout every room of the house and blamed us for not “clearing the way” to help him unpack them. He repeatedly accuses me in particular of stealing his things when really he is just plain paranoid. He’s even gone into my room before and stolen my things. He’s gotten us on bad terms with the leasing agent because he threatens them, as well. He never even paid his security deposit and never wanted to sign the lease. I would have made him sign it before, but the agent didn’t have his name on it in time for his move-in. Every time he talks or emails me, his tone is psychotic and threatening.

How do I get him to pay for everything he owes, and how do I make it clear to him that he’s never been the boss? Up until now I have opposed any action he takes to assert control over us. He’s ultimately responded by announcing his move-out, and he’s taken the other roommate with him. He feels that if he can’t be in control in the house, no one can. This is causing me and other roommate to move out as well because we just don’t want to deal with finding new roommates now. It’s just that the move-out process itself is so aggravating, and I still have so much unfinished business with him remaining.

Revenge JokerDear Burt,
It’s too bad this jerk wants to destroy your life. But you let things get out of hand right from the start. And you know that already. Enough admonishments from me.

Since he hasn’t moved out yet, and it’s likely that he’ll be the last one out to cause some damage and left-over grief for you and the other roommate, I suggest that you get the rental agent over, on your last day there, and take lots of pictures. Yes, it’s CYA (Cover Your Ass) time.

As for the unfinished business, leave this ass to self-destruct on his own.

Once he’s found a place to move into, give that owner/rental agent a call and let them know who they have living there. One late payment and he’ll be on the street again unless he’s rooming with another wussy that will bail him out.

This ass’s mommy should be proud, she raised bully, an idiot, and a scared little boy who can’t clean up after himself, all in one.

Of course you could always stuff some cheddar cheese wrapped in plastic wrap into his furniture. That’ll bring a nice smell after a couple of weeks to his things. Back of dressers, under stereos, in not too often worn shoes. Any little cubby spot you can think of. Cheese, milk, apples, pears… you get the idea.

Next time, get it all in writing, everything signed, and journal all payments of everything. Get receipts. CYA always. Roommates are only cool if they’re clean, clean up after themselves, share cleaning and shopping responsibilities and finally, you need to ask for and get receipts for everything, all payments made that concerns you and your roommate.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have a really irritating roommate.

There are four of us in our house, and she thinks that she owns the place. She doesn’t clean her dishes, instead she fills the sink with water, puts them in and assumes somebody else will do them for her. She doesn’t have a job, so instead of getting one, she ‘borrows’ food from the rest of us. She has gotten a dog, which is strictly in violation of our lease.

She repeatedly had mid-week parties that last until four am. This is a big problem for me, because I start work at 5 am. I have tried being really loud in the morning, but she seems to sleep right through it. I also don’t think that it is fair to wake my other roommates up early just because she is inconsiderate. I am going to tell the landlord about the dog, but would like to do something that would make up for all the sleep I have lost due to her selfishness.

Revenge JokerDear Helen,
I’d wait until the last few days of your roommate living there. Then I’d start adding things to the food you leave around that she eats.
Toothpaste inside Oreo cookies, extra salt mixed into the butter or margarine, orange juice made with salt, Any type of food, you can booby-trap. Since she’s not really supposed to be eating it, the blame is simply hers, right?

And she’s not being fair having people over to party when others need to work. I bet this is her first place and first taste of freedom. She’s too stupid to realize that even freedom has rules.

So I’d get your roommates together and write down everything she’s done since she lived with you:
Stealing food;

And I’d send that to her next landlord, the day after she moves in.

If you want to keep roommates tame, you have to have them sign a behavior contract before they move in. This way they know what is allowed and what isn’t. If you don’t then whatever they do is on you.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

Your my new hero!
I need some advice. I had this roommate who moved out about 2 weeks ago and she still owes me money for the bills. I can’t get a hold of her and as it turns out, she gave me 2 numbers so that I could reach her, one of them isn’t even hers anymore. She won’t respond to the message that she has received from the remaining numbers that does work-it belongs to her new roommate.

It is not a lot of
money that she owes, but I am angry and I need the little money that it is. She knows this and wont get back to me. I don’t have her new address or anything, but I do have some possessions of hers and some of her mail.
I have emailed her and I still haven’t got my money! What do you think that I should do?
A fan,

Revenge JokerDear

You give her one more message:
Pay me back or I sell your stuff to recoup my money.
You also write this in a letter and send it registered mail to the address she gave you. Or place a newspaper classified ad with the same in it.
Be sure to include the dates in the letter: the date you wrote/sent it and the date you’re going to dispose of her property.

This is a legal method of recovery, and the registered letter is a legal notice to her. Any property that is left behind is deemed "abandoned" and is yours to do with as you will once the registered letter has been sent out and there is no response (allow 10 days after you send the letter).

And money that is still owing after you have sold her stuff is something you should go to small claims court for.

Don’t let her off easy. If she wants to run with money owing, make her pay the full legal price.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

need some suggestions, I have a bitch of a roommate and she is bailing on the lease and taking her sofa but leaving cat hair and filth behind.

I need a couple subtle tricks for her that i could to to her sofa or other stuff that will linger with her or even better stay forever. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Revenge JokerDear

What I’d suggest is take a good look at the sofa.
Does it have a deep back pocket, under the cushions?
Does it have a wooden frame and a cover stapled to the bottom?
Do the cushions have a zipper?

You could easily stick something inside the sofa as a smelly time bomb.
One thing that works great is:
Get yourself small snack size ziplock baggies. Fill them halfway with milk, sour cream, anything dairy. Seal them well.
Stick them into the cushions, in the bottom of the sofa, you get the idea. After a week or two these baggies will curdle, explode and smell awful.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have this roommate that insists he doesn’t have to clean up after himself and I always end up washing his dishes, picking up his clothes and stuff like that. Most of the time I feel like his maid instead of his roommate. What can I do to get even with him, in a way that won’t make me have double the cleanup to do?
Bob in New York

Revenge JokerDear Bob,
First of all, stop being pushed around. Geesh, looking for a new roommate would be on the top of my list and that’s what I suggest you threaten to do, but do it quietly. Get yourself a notepad and write down several versions of a newspaper ad you’d like to place looking for the perfect roommate. List all the things this current guy does wrong and add them into your ad. Then leave your ad lying around, the bathroom is a good place for this since it’s very likely to be seen there. Be sure to have the local newspaper name and classified phone number on the top of the page. Your crappy roommie should get the idea and likely confront you about this at which time you can talk about the problems you are having in an adult manner. If he doesn’t get the idea in a few days, hell, go ahead and place the ad and give this loser notice to move.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Roommate Revenge

The Revenge Guy


Do you  need advice about a BAD ROOMMATE?

Need to get him off the lease? Get her to stop bring her white trash boyfriend to stay for days on end?

 Read on… The Revenge Guy can help you!

Not His Maid

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have lived in a 3 bed apartment for about two years with another female.

About two months ago we had to quickly find a new roommate. I guess I learned why girls advertise for NO GUYS when looking, because we found a guy and it has been hell ever since.

Within the first two weeks, he was getting it on with my other roommate, and one night they had been messing around in her room for awhile when I came out to the kitchen and the entire place was full of smoke. Apparently they decided to leave something cooking while going off to make out for an hour.

When he came out I was opening the doors and fanning the fire alarm so it wouldn't set off. When he asked what was going on I told him the place was about to set on fire and he started yelling at me like it was my fault.

I tried apologizing later (even though he was the one that almost set the place on fire!) but he said he wouldn't accept it and we would never be on good terms again.

Well, he's lived up to it.

He is now trying to turn my other roommate against me even though she and I have never had any problems, and to be honest she is a bit too dim to see it happening. He's naturally a really angry person-stomps when he walks around, slams doors whenever he leaves/enters a room, talks loudly and in your face and always upset about something.

He also happens to be a personal trainer and buys "health-conscious" things like "organic" toothpaste.

All of our names are on the lease which is up at the end of August, but I can't afford to pay the early lease termination fees.

Of course my other roommate would never go for kicking him out since they are apparently in love (even though he treats her like crap). All the bills are in my name, and I pretty much own everything in the apartment.

I'd love for him to just come home to an empty place with no utilities but I don't want to do that to my other roommate.

There really is just no reasoning with him as I've tried, and she could never see anything wrong in him.

He does little things that he knows piss me off like locking the top lock which everyone knows always gets jammed, turns the cable box off so I miss my ONE recorded show I watch every week, turns the dishwasher on when I get in the shower, and makes rude comments like "Oh, did I lock that? Must be my OCD" which is ironic because he's never cleaned the bathroom he and I are forced to share since he moved in.

I've tried, and there is honestly no logical reasoning or calm discussion with this steroid-pumping asshole. What am I supposed to do???

Not Hi Maid &
Afraid To Piss Off a 6'4" Personal Trainer

Revenge JokerHi
Not His Maid,

Yes, you are in roommate hell. You likely did something very bad in a previous life… LOL…

I think your nest bet actually is to turn the "dim one" into a brighter bulb and see what she has in this guy.

Go out with her and talk with her, without his influence I am sure she'll see your side more clearly.

Re-read your lease. Maybe add a page that he missed reading when he signed the lease about "roommate rules":
No using water consuming devices when someone is in the shower… etc, etc.

And I'd also do the same things he is doing to you. Let revenge be a duplication of what he is doing.

Lock that lock, turn off the TV or better yet, using the parental controls to lock out the channels he likes to watch.

Do you have anything that records sound, video?
Start a account of the recordings you can make of him and post them.

Tell him now that you have a place to go to and you need to move the bills into his name.

Tell him it will raise his credit rating (don't tell him that it'll save yours if he decides to not pay anything) and see where that leads to you getting out of the lease early, or at least off the regular bills for the place.

As for his profession, I am sure he takes on new clients and has a place where he trains them or he goes to their place.

Set up some phony appointments for him.
He'll never know and he will be out of your hair for a while too, as he chases down these phony clients.

I hope this helps,

Roommate from Hades

Revenge Guy,

I happened upon your website a few days ago and it's brilliant! The solutions that you had for bad roommates were ingenious.

I'm in college right now and my roommate (let's call her Lisa) has been living with me for about a year. We were both on the same organizations on campus and always on friendly terms, so I didn't think twice about accepting her to be my roommate. This turned out to be a HUGE mistake. At first, everything was fine. She has an unofficial boyfriend/friend with benefits (I'll refer to him as David) and would have him over every day, but we have separate rooms, so I was fine with that.

After a few months, I came to the realization that David wasn't just sleeping over – he had moved in. Lisa was constantly out with her friends, so she would usually give David her keys (which is against apartment rules) and he would stay in her room even over long weekends when she went home to visit her family.

Oh, this is probably a good time to mention that Lisa's a big slob. She's lazy, has David do her homework for her, and has decided that she's not interested in getting a job after college, so she'll live with her parents until someone marries her. I pay all the bills, buy all the soap, toilet paper, cleaning stuff, etc., and am the only person who does the chores. Lisa has gone behind David's back several times with other guys and keeps him around because he lives nearby and is more "convenient". David doesn't seem to respect her very much – he's told me on more than 1 occasion that she's lazy and stupid – but he still stays with her.

The final straw was when David started inviting his own friends over to party at our apartment. These were strangers and since all the furniture (couch, chairs, tables, even Lisa's bed) belong to me, I was quite uneasy about it. When I asked Lisa to stop giving David her keys, she threw a temper tantrum and ignored me for the next 2 months. The situation got progressively worse. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she would send me threatening, insults emails. I came home one day to find feces on one of the rugs. She finally told me she was moving out, but not before trying to get me to give her money to do so. She's gone home for the summer and is planning to come down to our apartment later to move her stuff when her lease officially ends. However, she met some random guy on craigslist and decided to give him her keys and let him stay at the apartment till her lease is up. That's not what angers me the most – I took an inventory of the stuff in the kitchen and found out that she stole several things from me.

I feel angered and hurt by how manipulative she is and how much advantage she's taken of my kindness. I'd like to play a few small pranks on her to make her move-out a hassle and just give her an idea of how much stress she's been causing me this whole year. Her dad's coming up to help her move – she has her parents wrapped around her little finger, so I don't think they'd believe me if I told them she's been sleeping around with other guys (they're very devout Christians). I like your Liquid Ass idea, but there's not enough time for me to buy it and also, she's crammed most of her stuff into her room where the random guy is staying, so even if I had any nasty-smelling liquid, I probably wouldn't be able to use it.

Revenge Guy, please give me some feedback, I'm running out of ideas (and time)!

Revenge JokerHi

It's condom time!

Buy a couple of boxes and stash them in everything she owns, hell, leave some in her bed so they fall out as her parents pack up her bedding.

Do what you can to mess up her stuff, hell, she had a stranger in her bed and an FWB for months. fake some doctor notes and print them, stuff them in her drawer chest, maybe test results for various std's. LOL

Get her!!
Best wishes,

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