How to Get Revenge on Roommates
Having a roommate generally sucks. I had a roommate once, he ripped me off of over $5,000. Dated and cheated on my sister and finally he disappeared after racking up another few thousand $$ on a credit card I loaned him. FUCK YOU DOUG WAGG.
Yes, I learned the hard way that having a roommate sucks. And if you have a roommate there are things you need to do to protect yourself. So, settle in and read on.
The Rules to Follow If You Have RoommatesI give you these rules to follow as you first decide that you need a roommate (or if you’re already stuck with one and need help to change things around). Maybe you need help with the rent or household bills. Maybe you just need another person around to help you out with things. It doesn’t matter, I won’t judge you (yet). The Rules for Having a Roommate
- Know the tenant laws in your jurisdiction. There’s nothing worse than having the roommate you want to kick out pull a fast, legal maneuver on you and now you can’t get rid of them.
- Have house rules and stick with them. Make sure your roommate(s) sign these rules. They should cover having people over, noise, cleanliness and cleaning, groceries, utility bills, common (shared) areas, etc., you get the idea. You can create a roommate agreement here.
- Let your landlord know what’s going on, just to be safe.
Be Proactive Before Things Turn Bad
You’re renting a place, or maybe you’re the homeowner, and you have a roommate renting a room. Your stuff is your stuff, and you need to protect it. I’ve received a lot of emails from people who had all their property ripped off by a roommate that did a “midnight run”.
- Clearly mark your stuff with your name and ID number, SSN, driver’s license number, passport, etc. Hell, even your email address can prove ownership.
- Take pictures, or videos, of your stuff.
- While you’re at it, take pictures and video of your house or apartment before the roommate moves in. If things go bad and you end up in court for damages, having proof goes a long way to having the judge decide in your favor.
How to Get Revenge on a Roommate
So now you’re stuck with the roommate from hell. I would have warned you, and hopefully you know what to do the next time by reading the above.
But now it’s “Get Revenge Time”, so let’s get to it.
- Roommate stealing your food? Let the milk sour or replace it with shampoo (50%/50% mixture works well, with an unscented shampoo brand) before the best before date comes.
- Add extra hot sauce to your food in the fridge, or cookies in a box.
- Roommate using your stuff or entering your room without permission? Get a spy camera or nanny camera and catch them in the act. This is excellent evidence for when you call the police.
- Roommate messier than a tornado? Mark their messes with green painter’s tape and leave notes, multiple notes if needed, for them to clean up after themselves. Afterall, your place isn’t a pigsty, no matter what the lazy-ass roommate thinks. Follow up the notes with emails, so you have a record of things. Take pictures and videos too.