How to Tell a Friend They are With a Cheater

Angry Couple

Hi RG,
Please help me.

How could I get a message to the target person that they are being cheated on and ensuring that no one can trace it back to me. The person doing the cheating creeps me out and feels unsafe, but at the same time I think the target person needs to know.

Thanks.

Hi Friend,
I can only imagine how conflicted you feel, having this knowledge and needing to tell your friend without upsetting the friendship you have. The “bearer of bad news” in these situations rarely escapes unscathed.

What I would do, in your shoes, is create an email account at mail.com and send your friend an anonymous email message. Include as much details you can without revealing your identity.

Be very careful about how you phrase things, it’s easy to slip and provide information that only you might know about and give away your identity as the couple fights about the cheating and talk about the circumstances you describe.

I hope this helps!
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

My “Duplex” Neighbor is Driving Me Crazy!

Horrible Old Lady

Dear Revenge Guy,
I don’t know what to do. I live on the first floor of a condo. The second floor unit above me is currently empty, but the third floor unit above that is owned by an elderly, disabled lady. This woman blasts her TV at full volume ALL. NIGHT. LONG… right into the morning and I can hear it all the way down in my home. I use earplugs, but I can still hear this woman’s TV through them!

I tried twice knocking on her door and she didn’t answer. I taped two letters to her door, but she apparently didn’t read them because the noise persisted. I complained to the condo board in writing; the property manager said he spoke to her, and she claimed she had no idea that her TV could be heard all the way down to my unit. This proves to me that she never read the letters I had left to her. She’s becoming hard of hearing and their response was “Hopefully she’ll keep it down now.” Apparently the board isn’t or won’t do much about it because I complained a second time and was basically ignored.

A couple of weeks ago while I was at work, my boyfriend (who stays with me often) found an opportunity to speak to this woman and had a polite conversation with her about the noise. Her initial cocky response was “Well, I have to hear my television.” She told him that previous tenants below her on the 2nd floor used to complain about her noise and called the police on her for using her bathroom. Honestly, the insulation in this building is crap to non-existent. She said she’d try to be a little quieter; and for a few days, she was OK. She did keep her TV on past 11, but seemed to keep it off for the rest of the night. But, like all humans, old habits are hard to break and she’s right back at it again.

Property management did not respond to my second complaint in writing, so I have no faith or confidence that they will do anything to help me. This woman told my boyfriend that she’ll probably be out in a few months, but obviously she doesn’t care about her noise and wants to do what she wants.

I don’t know what to do now. I have one of two options:
1) find someone who will cast a spell to make her friggin’ TV break down, or,
2) call the police if her noise persists.

I’m beginning to feel like a jerk for being angry at an elderly, disabled person — but that does NOT give her the right to disrupt other people’s lives!

Any suggestions or advice?

Hi R,
I’d take a very close look at your lease if you’re renting or the condo association bylaws if you’re an owner. I’m certain that you’ll find some rules that will allow you to withhold your rent or condo fee payments until management deals with the interruptions to the “quiet enjoyment” of your residence.

Money speaks and by holding back the money you pay it will get their attention quickly and force them to act on your behalf.

There are other options, of course.

You could befriend the old bag and become the “helpful neighbor” thereby making her happy to work out a compromise about the television noise. Maybe she’d be agreeable to using a set of wireless headphones?

You could hunt down her family and make them are of the issues. A surprising number of elderly people have Facebook accounts setup (even if they don’t have a computer) so that family can share news about them. You’d be able to find her family and speak with them.

And you could go all “Terminator” on her. Call the police. Call social welfare for the aged. Call the management company head honchos, going over the head of the on-site property management. Speak with her same-floor neighbors, I’m sure they have the same issue with her all-night television binges. Start a petition to get the old lady kicked out.

I hope this helps!

Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Renters Left Crap Behind, What Do I do?

Panties

Hi Revenge Guy,
My former renters were making big deals of minor issues and would not talk to me personally. They use text like its the most convenient way to communicate. I had to spend hours explaining things that I could have done in 5-10 minutes by talking about it. I decided not to renew their lease as they have also broken several appliances in the house.

Anyway, as I was cleaning their room, I found panties and pair of shoes.

Is it legal to send the panty to their work place (with a note and their names on it :) since I do not have their new address? I live in California.

Thanks.

Hi L,
By all means, send the panties and shoes to their last known address you have.

In as clear a box you can find.

Be sure to include instructions about how to reimburse you for sending them their personal items and the broken appliances.

Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy