Dear Revenge Guy,
How do I hire you?
It all depends where you live. And what you want. And if I care.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I recently bought a sports car and invested over 7 grand in performance racing parts in a two month period. For the first month i would give my sister a ride at all times of the night, picking her up from random locations after she dumped her kid off on my parents and ran the streets with her gang banging boyfriend. I got tired of this after a while and told her i wouldnt give her any more rides. After that she said karma is a female dog, i didnt believe it but a week after she said that she drained the royal purple racing motor oil out of my car, causing me to destroy my engine on the drive to work. I confronted her about it, and she gave me that type of look that says “Yeah, i did it, you know i did it, but you cant prove it and im LOVING this right now.” Also, she has no job, lives with my parents, no vehicle, no ambition. Can you help?
Of course I can help. It’s what I do.
First I’m going to make some assumptions here, so you know where my thinking is coming from.
1. You live with your parents along with your sister and her child.
2. You have more money than brains for tricking out a car with 7k worth of mods and not having anything left over to fix the engine.
3. Your sister isn’t nearly as fat as I thought she might be because she was able to crawl under your car and undo the oil pan.
Now then, revenge as I see it is a three-pronged attack.
Start with something simple, like itching powder in her bras. She’ll enjoy that. Just don’t wash your underthings with hers.
Move on to creating a social networking account that she and her boyfriend uses. Build a nice page, full of friends and pictures of the girlie you’ve become. Invite her boyfriend for a threesome or something, then show your sister what you “found” online. Let her choose to beat down on her bf for a while, instead of you.
Finally, move out. You need more of a life than you’re ever going to get where you are now. Put on your “big boy pants”.
Dear Revenge Guy,
We have a 4′ chain link fence on our property and every time I plant something against our fence, our neighbors kill it. (they have a well manicured back yard). Was trying to get a honeysuckle vine to grow but they apparently sprayed herbicide on it (besides cutting through existing established roots). Several years ago I spoke with them about leaning over our fence and cutting our bushes. They have also sprayed grass killer along the fence line, leaving a line of dead grass on our side.
I would like some ideas as to what I could do to show my displeasure – something I could do along the fence that they can’t kill, something artistic but tacky. It’s not a large span of fencing, but it would need to be high enough so they could see it from their backyard. Styrofoam heads on poles? Large artificial trees?
This guy is a pastor at a local church…
Dear Pastor’s Neighbor,
How I would love to run with this one…
First off, send them a registered letter stating that they are legally not allowed to touch anything that is on your side of the fence. Look up your local bylaws and add that information too. This way they are put on notice about their activities.
Next, take pictures and video. Lots and lots. Pictures with dates, video with your running commentary about what is being recorded.
Maybe they expect you to “turn the other cheek” but why should you? You have every right to privacy and freedom from harm that they do, so an equal ground (so to speak) needs to be found here.
If the letter does not give them the incentive to profusely apologize to you for what they’ve done we’ll head to the next level of “fun”.
Along the fence line hand birdfeeders and chimes. Lots of them. Lots.
Buy a cheap bamboo curtain, the type used to block the sun. Paint one side with bright neon orange. Put a couple of poles in the ground and hang it, neon side towards them.
And to finish this off, if they still are not compliant with your “please be neighborly” request, join their church.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I need help with noisy neighbors. I have lived in a basement apartment for 6 years and have had no complaints until 3 weeks ago where 2 young men moved in above me and they make alot of loud noise, music partying banging stomping and they do drugs because the hallway smells like alcohol and pot.
They make all kinds of noise from 12 am to 7 am and I first spoke to the guy nicely and had a very nice conversation which this lasted a week until the whole thing started again and now it is much.
I have complained to my landlord who knows very much what is happening since the landlord lives right above them and has admitted to me they hear and smell everything and they say they have spoken to them numerous times. I want to move but can’t afford to and I don’t want a violent confrontation with these guys as i am single female Please advise what i should do?
When i told my landlord i am considering moving they were upset and told me they didnt want me to move and i told them i cannot live like this for i do have a epileptic condition which requires i get proper sleep.
I find it very hard to understand why your landlords would let all of this happen right underneath them, and above you. It’s disgusting, that’s what it is.
Tell your landlords that you will start calling the police for the illegal activities and well as your local housing authority about the situation.
You have every reason to break your lease but you may also have other violations against your privacy that a lawyer can tell you about.
And use the video feature of your cell phone and record all the noise and such that happens including any future confrontations with these bums upstairs. No matter what happens you deserve to not only feel safe but to be safe.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I was with this guy for a while and we were really good together, it wasn’t one sided he was just into me just as much as I was.
We both finished school this year and start college soon.
My hometown is honk kong so I had to leave, and then he slowly started ignoring and stopped replying to nothing I sent him. He was suppose to come to HK but I didnt hear from him. suddenly he inboxes me saying that he was going to surprise me and started acting all normal. so he is coming to hong kong and we are going to the same college. i need to take revenge, real bad. please help!
I have known him for 2 months. i know him pretty well.
I know his moms number, his ex girlfriend no, his house no.
I have no ideas about how to take revenge, it wasnt really my thing but this one hit me and i cant sit back and watch him do this to other people.
this will improve my life because hes getting away from all the assholeness and its not fair. the pain he put me through was not funny and im not going to sit back and watch him getting away with it while we are in the same college!
Dear Broken Hearted,
He sure did get to you. Sounds to me like he was looking for a reason to break up with you, found one, and now that he’s going to be closer to you he regrets it. He’s probably not as popular with the girls as he thought he was, so now he wants you back. What a loser!
Just start talking to the people you know about his “STDs” that you know about from high school and you’ll kill his supposed popularity with the ladies before he even shows up.
And date a better class of person, you need to have a better life, right? Keep him dumped!
Dear Revenge Guy,
We hired a moving company to take us from Canada to the states and we canceled the deal after paying them because they were 4 hours late and hadn’t arrived. We were on the phone constantly pointing out that there were no lights and a night move in the cold wouldn’t work. They agreed to refund the credit card charge. The truck came late at night and we sent them away. They kept promising to refund but never did.
I couldn’t easily sue because we were in another country, so I contacted BBB. They resolved it by getting them to agree to pay but again, they never did.
NOW we’re back in Canada!
Attorney told me that it’s a slam dunk because of the BBB correspondence BUT it’s been a few months over two years and that’s the statute here (though not sure on when that two year starts…when they were initially paid or the last time they told BBB they would pay)
I know his name and his brother’s name, am driving distance to the guy’s company-which seems large and has employees and a dedicated site of business.
Any suggestions on my next move? He doesn’t know we’re back but I want to do this right. I’m also 6’5″ 305 pounds of angry looking muscle but if he calls my bluff, I’m not willing to go to jail
To start off with, ask your lawyer if you really need to give up on suing him. You got screwed and you need to know your legal rights before anything else happens, like more passing time. Get this into the court system before your rights expire.
When you pay by credit card and a service you have paid for is not delivered, generally you can call your credit card within a month and get them to reverse the charges.
Movers operate on reputation. Contact their head office if they are part of a bigger moving company, most are. Make your case for the refund and interest on money owed. That will get their attention.
And since you live so close to them, why not erect a sign on your lawn that says “XX moving company owes me $XXXX.XX for NOT moving me!” Call your local newspaper too, they usually have someone interested in following up “ripped off” stories like yours.
I’d wager that within 2 weeks you’ll get your money back.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I like this guy so I gave him my number and he gave it out to a few of he’s guy friends and they been txting me my friend was their so she told me this like a week after it happened because they told her not to say anything but how do I get back at him for giving out my number?
You need to use a service that allows you to spoof phone numbers on your phone (www.revengecall.com) and start calling them using the police’s local number as the caller ID. I know that you know some bad things that they did, so freak them out thinking that they’re about to get busted. Invite them down to the police station for an “interview” scheduled for the next week. Let them live in fear. That’ll take their attention away from needing to text you crap and play such childish games. And all for less than $10.00. Money well spent, I’d say.
Guy cheats on wife.
Guy leaves a note for her and the kids saying he’s leaving them.
Wife get’s her revenge by putting up posters with his name, address, birth date and photo along with details of his infidelity.
Good for her I say!
I admit that marriages have their difficulties. But before you seek solace and comfort in the arms of another you need to deal head-o with the issues within your own relationship. There is help to be found. You can have the relationship you want to have, if you work at it.
Making the news is this story of a 10th grade student getting even with bullies that just wouldn’t stop: she treated them to cupcakes filled with pubic hair, spoiled food and, yes, semen.
Police were called and they tested the cupcakes… nothing so bad was detected.
The school, however, has banned outside food. I hope they had a talk with the bullies too.
One of the best Father’s Day gifts ever!
Or or any golfer in your life. This package of 4 trick golfballs is a great laugh with quite unexpected results.
Do you want a ball that turns into a streamer in mid-air? A ball that disappears in a sand trap? A ball that explodes on contact? Or the classic unputtable ball?
This package of prank golfballs has one of each. Go ahead, give some fun!