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Revenge is not just best served cold.
For most purposes, except on TV, it needs to be undetected. The best revenge is often mistaken for “bad luck” or an “unhappy coincidence” by the victims.
Of course, there are the overt actions that help you to feel that you have achieved your revenge. A bumper sticker, a broken wooden toothpick in a lock, a phone revealing message left for interested parties, just to name a few.
This website is purely for entertainment purposes. You’re angry now but in a couple of minutes your head will be swimming with ideas and you’ll be grinning about the possibilities of getting even.
This is my goal. I’m glad to help.

Follow me on Facebook and comment on Twitter @revengeguy so you know when everything is working again.

Dumb Criminals

Life is hard enough without doing stupid things that intentionally cause others grief and you to go to jail. These are the criminals I’m talking about:

Mailman calls cops on meth users freaking out
If you’re going to do drugs the first thing is do it somewhere safe, like at home. The second thing is close all the windows. The third thing is not freak out and start waving guns and knives at the imaginary intruders trying to get you. At least these bozos are safely in stir now.

When your child is missing don’t go on stage while on the phone with the police
Yes, this mother reported her child missing since she wasn’t home when she was supposed to be. That’s good. But she hung up on the police because it was her turn to get on the stage for her strip show. That’s bad. Now mom is arrested and child is safely elsewhere.

“Kid, you stink” says teacher, “when did you last have a bath?” Student replies “I don’t remember.”
Yup, mom arrested for child neglect. And they say kids say the funniest things. Ugh.

When the In-Laws Divorce Goes Bad

Dear Revenge GuyDear RG,
My father-in-law separated/divorced my mother-in-law just about 3 years ago.

I’ve been with my husband for almost 5 years, so I knew him before and after the split. He repeatedly cheated, lied and stole, he is manipulative and has a big temper. After he moved out he would contact my mother-in-law almost daily asking for trivial items like a spatula or money (she gave him $5000).

He was mad that she didn’t give him more than $5000 of her own money. My mother-in-law was heartbroken and still had hope that he would come back to her because she had this dream that a family should stick together. She wanted to be nice and so when they split up their assets/liabilities she kept a joint-debt in her name since the interest would be lower and the payments were $400/month vs. $1000/month.

She is a banker and made a budget for him and knew that he wouldn’t be able to afford the $1000/month payment if he got it in his name. She made it part of the separation agreement that he had to pay this. He was good about paying it for about 1.5 years with only one stint where he had difficulty paying, but he made up the payments later.

Then when she started being firm with him about not contacting her anymore and forced him to get his $50 000 sports collection out of the house as well as other things that he was leaving around as an excuse to keep contacting her. He started doing petty things like ordering pizza in her name etc.

Then he said he didn’t want to pay anymore, she reminded him that he had by having her lawyer send him a letter. 6 months later he stopped paying again saying that he couldn’t afford it. With more effort and a court date being set to garnish his wages he said he would pay again but then only made 2 late payments, he declared bankruptcy and because my mother-in-law is a “creditor” to him she is responsible for the $44 000.

She is going to see if she can take him to court for a reasonable amount but she has yet to set up a consultation. Now it’s not like me to want to get revenge but in this case he has caused everyone in the family terrible stress and I want to do something like put a potato in his exhaust pipe so he can’t start his car and has to pay to find out why (he’s not very handy).

I want to do something because then I would get in trouble not my mother-in-law if I did get caught.

The Revenge GuyHi,
I think that immediately your mother-in-law should move all of his possessions out of the house to a storage unit and file a legal claim against his possessions for payment of the bills he owes for. Such a lien is usually easy to get and may just be the kick in the ass for him to straighten up and for her to realize that the relationship is lost.

Drastic but certainly necessary in this case.

Forget the potato in the exhaust pipe. Childish and generally doesn’t do much damage, if anything. Think about things that will just make him look bad, because he’s obviously all about image.

What you want to do is get yourself some “Liquid Ass” (easily purchased online) and visit his car and place some on the driver’s door handle. He’ll stink like the shitty person he is.

You can follow up with doing his door handle where ever he lives too.

Let his new scent be a warning for everyone that encounters him.

You might also consider some bumper stickers that say things he’d never agree to. Find them in your local store or have them custom made at an online store that’s easily found.

I have to ask though, what does your husband think of you getting even for his mother against his dad?

Good luck,

Dumb Criminals

There is a this little thing that if you’re going to do bad prepare for the penalties (Do the crime, do the time). These are the ones about to do the time.

Woman Downloads Child Porn to Frame Husband
We all like a good suspense crime story featuring the “how did that get there” twist. Just don’t get caught like this woman did when you’re the reason why something got to where it did.

Stupid “Late for Work” Excuse
Running late for work? Why not say you’ve witnessed a beheading and let the police search for hours to back up your story. Not a good idea, he’s charged with falsely submitting an incident.

Ice Bucket Challenge and Facebook Leads Wanted Man To Jail
I don’t know how many times this needs to be said but if you’re wanted by the authorities stay off social media. Of course, the criminals are too smart to take sound advice, right?

Young Love is a Crazy Thing

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
You might think I’m quite young (14, ouch), but there are some serious things going on and I would appreciate it so much if you were to help me.

So, to start of this story there is me, there is this guy in my class (I’ll just call him R), and there are a lot of other people involved but I’ll make this as short as possible.

At first, in class, R and I had a lot of chemistry (and I mean between us, not in the actual class), and we hung out a lot. After a while we even kissed and we started to go out. Only the problem was, he became obsessed with me. If he hadn’t heard from me for more than a day, he would totally panic and show up at my doorstep to check on me. He also started telling these lies (which at the moment I had no clue were lies), like this one night he asked me to have sex with him. I told him it was too soon and I wasn’t ready, and then he told me he was moving to America (I live in the Netherlands).

I took this very seriously, he told me he was leaving tomorrow and he didn’t tell me because he didn’t know how to. I know t sounds really stupid but I really liked him so I did what he asked… Well, it started to get worse. He used to watch all my field hockey trainings and talk to me for hours. He told me his parents beat him at home and that he tried to commit suicide a couple of times.

I was so shocked by all these things, I used to stay up all night worrying about it. He even showed up at my house at 4am(!) a couple of times telling me he got kicked out of his house. When his ‘stories’ started to get worse, he stopped going to school. Sometimes I wouldn’t see him there for weeks. At Newyears, we had a huge fight. I told him I was not the person to deal with his problems, and he had to start taking care of them himself. R got so mad and even showed up at my doorstep again to yell at my house.

Nothing happened for a few weeks, but then, it went downhill pretty fast. One day when I was just heading home from field hockey, I got several calls and messages from different people. I panicked a little, and checked it out. The messages all had links and said things like ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ and all those things. I went to check the link and there it was, my nudes were on fricking Facebook… I couldn’t prove it was R, but I knew. Everyone had seen it, the whole school, my friends and even my family. The next few weeks I got blackmailed. All kinds of notes in my locker saying I was a whore and I would burn in hell, I deserved nothing and he would post those pictures again. I couldn’t go to the police because the Facebook account was taken down and I tossed all the notes because I was never so scared in my life.

The worst part of it all was the end; R texted me he knew more about who was behind the blackmailing and I decided to meet up with him. He wanted to meet in the woods, which rang a bell, something’s not right. But I went to meet him, because I didn’t know what else to do. He told me there were some people who really hated me, they would use that photo while hacking more Facebook accounts and they were planning to pick me up in a van to torture, rape and probably kill me. I was so scared and while he was telling me all of this, he showed me his weapon. HE HAD A GUN (I don’t know how it works in the USA but any kinds of weapons are strictly illegal in the Netherlands). I freaked out and ran home. I’ve never been so afraid in all my life, but all the things he had said, turned out not to be true and it was just a result of being so obsessed with somebody that he went completely insane.

Now, this story may seem boring, not important or obscene to you, but dear Revenge Guy, I would so appreciate it if you were to help me get revenge on this person who actually destroyed my life. Because I didn’t really mention all the fear, pain and devastation i felt, and it permanently damaged me. I want to get this bastard!
Age: 14

The Revenge GuyHi,
You need to talk to adults close to you to deal with this. Revenge suggestions I could offer won’t suffice and you need help just as much as this disturbed young man does.

Often when a young man is infatuated they go to extremes to hold onto that affection, saying the awfullest things and doing the weirdest stuff to hold onto the girl.

Sorry you’re in this position but you need to have the people close to you take care of this.

Getting Ready To Be Broken Hearted

Dear Revenge GuyHi Revenge Guy,
There are so many things i need revenge for, I need a full-time revenge staff. But I will pick 1 for now.

A woman i spent 2 years with is ignoring my needs and not returning my calls although I have stuck with her through all her bad times including a nervous breakdown, job loss, depression and she’s pretty overweight with a low self esteem.

She is claiming she is too depressed to give me any time etc…

She originally promised her life to me and expressed undying affection and said i was the greatest lover she ever knew of and i made her feel better than any one ever has.

I have been waiting a year for her to recover and she gives little and still claims to care for me She is about to get an operation on her stomach and so she will look and feel 10x better after she loses 150 lbs then instead her staying me she will cast me off and give her best to some other jerk that did not support and care for her when she was sick and obese which is totally unfair to me.

I deserve her very best because I treated her well when no one else wanted her and i know she will short change me. She is already not tending to me as she should on the eve of her operation. I have appealed to her since I have been extremely depressed and she does nothing to help me get well – she is making very sad and breaking my heart. How can I get revenge for the hurt she is doing and likely will cause.

I hope you understand that I have given her my all and deserve no less and she promised her life to me and love me forever. Her kisses also now lack passion telling me what is to come.

The Revenge GuyHi,
While I believe in preparing for the worse I also believe that you should expect the best out of people.

You, sadly, are setting yourself up to be rejected by this woman. Maybe she has said things to you to expect this, maybe she has acted differently expecting her new body to change her life.

I think that she will still be the same person after her surgery, maybe her body will look better but her state of mind will still be the same and she will need you. maybe she wants some space to figure out the rest of your life and maybe you’re in it, maybe you aren’t.

Time will tell.

But it’s too soon to plan for what might happen other than still supporting her change and future while also preparing yourself for these changes.

I do not believe that revenge is warranted, based on what you have told me. Instead concentrate your energies into being the man she will need, supportive and caring.

If she still dumps you then she’s just a user after all and you’re much better off.


Dumb Criminals

These are the ones that got caught. Many get away. If you have any tips about crime contact your local CrimeStoppers.

Spanish Singer Fakes Kidnapping
In a desperate to get money to produce her album she flies to the Dominican Republic and has her boyfriend call her father demanding a ransom. No word on what the album might have been called and I think that “Jailhouse Rock” is already taken.

World’s Worst Dog Owner
If you’re going to get your dog high it’s probably not a good idea to make a video and post it to Facebook like this Michigan gal did. How would you like this type of notoriety to follow you through life?

Movie Pirate Get’s Caught Using Hacker Name on Dating Site
If you’re going to pirate a movie and release it to the world, as this guy did with the first pirate copy of fast & Furious, don’t reuse the hacker name you used to distribute the file. ‘Thecod3r’ can now have a unique number on all his clothes courtesy of the local jail system.

Sandwich Stealing Co-worker Dealt With
Now, my friends, this is how you handle things when someone at work keeps stealing your lunch. Congrats to the HR department for bringing this lunchtime crime wave to an end.

Stole My Boyfriend

Dear Revenge GuyHi RG,
I’ll try to make this as short and as sweet as possible.

I dated a guy for 4 years, it was very serious. We were in love, I was even there for him when his mother passed away from cancer. He’s a sweet guy, but after some time we decided it was best to take a break (my mother was in rehab and my grandmother was very sick).

We had every intention of getting back together.

After about 2 weeks, he began getting insecure and we fought because of it. As a result we hadn’t spoken for another 2 weeks.

A mutual “friend”, or ex-friend, hooked him up with her sister because he was “moping.” They had sex, I found out, he begged for forgiveness, and I told him to suck it. As of right now we’re just beginning to talk again (as it will be almost a year).

As for this girl, not only did she screw my boyfriend – I know I know, we were on a break- but she got a hold of my number and texted me DETAILED things they did together. She also mentioned how he drove her to the airport (since she lives out of state) and held each other for hours.

She has a son with someone else, she posted pics of her son and his “new daddy” on facebook -yep you guessed it, MY BOYFRIEND. I called her one day, because I simply couldn’t sit by anymore, I just wanted her to leave me alone. She told me I’m nothing but a s*ut and I deserved to die. Even after my boyfriend called her himself to tell her off, she asked him if she was better than me in bed. THIS IS SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MOTHER. Like I said, it’s been almost a year, I’ve been wrestling with myself to take the high road but I just can’t! I obsess over this girl to the point where it’s ruining my life.

Please help, I can’t let her win!

The Revenge GuyHi,
I don’t see you as the loser here at all.

You have so-called friends that seem to choose him over you, without regard for the future you wanted with him. Maybe you we’re clear with them but certainly he made choices that can’t be easily taken back now.

As far as this girl goes, find out who else she has hurt and get together with these people. Someone that burns bridges often leaves a lot of wreckage and getting together to find out more will give you a great direction of how to best get your revenge.

Do your investigating and follow up with sharing her incredibly bad behavior with the world.

Since your friends know what has happened I see no real issues for grabbing pictures of her from her social media pages and creating a short explanatory video of her life using some freely available video creation software.

Stick to the facts you know to be true and have fun with it. Send me a copy, I could use a good laugh.
Good luck,

He Turned My Life Upside Down

Dear Revenge GuyDear RG,
I was swept off my feet by the most awesome guy.

It was a time of transition already. His elderly parents decided to move to a new city, and I told him that I was willing to relocate. He told his parents that we were permanent and talked his dad into buying a larger house in order for all of us to have a nicer place and share the cost. We moved five months ago.

There was a weird build up to the crisis.

This man has been waging sadistic psychological warfare on my young son and I. The final straw was when he was yelling at me to belt-spank my son for a host of problems, all of which were false. He finally said that my child was only allowed “five fucking shits a week in the house. If he has to shit more, he has to go somewhere outside of the house.” NUTCASE

Now, here is the complication.

His parents are mortified that he has done this because they have come to love my son and I as family. They are letting us stay as long as we need, there is room, because we don’t have anyplace to go until I get my bearings. It has been one week since I told him that I can’t boink anyone I know enjoys humiliating me, my son or really anyone. I can’t do anything that would blow back on me OR hurt his family.

*now, I AM exacting my own sneaky revenge and feel free to share this… he has nasty athlete’s foot and gave me a patch of ringworm where his foot touched my leg when we slept. We have to share the big closet and master bath (even though I’m out of his room) so… I shave over that patch with his razors and use his face scrubbies on the spot without rinsing. I’m hoping he gets a little crotch rot and face ringworm.

This man turned my life upside down and put me in a situation where I am losing EVERYTHING: love, family, a safe home for my child, all to feed his sadistic need to cause emotional and psychological pain. Thanks for listening!

The Revenge GuyHi,
To say that you’re in a terrible predicament would be a huge understatement. I’m glad that you are relatively safe and do have a roof rather than being forced onto the street with your son.

Your crotch rot plan is great, I hope you don’t just end up exchanging the burning and itching.

Causing this “man” (I use the term loosely) inconveniences are a good way to get the revenge ball rolling since it will seem he has only himself to blame. This is always a good plan of attack.

I hope you do get your life in order, to protect yourself and your son from this person’s bad influences.
Once you are safe you can continue your revenge by seeking to destroy what is likely a well-crafted personality outside of his home life, namely friends and workplaces.

Carefully crafted health surveys to sent to his work and friends asking about illness and contagious disease, while implying him to be the cause, should start the breakdown of his life that you are seeking.

Follow up with phone calls (using an appropriate phone service to mask your caller ID) will certainly solidify your plan and speed his downfall.

Find out his secrets, his hidden fears, and use them as bargaining chips for your safe future.

You need to be safe and protected from this man since I have no doubt that when you leave, or force him out of his parent’s house, he will wage jihad against you.

Controlling men are basically scared little boys using threats and intimidation to maintain control and having things to hold over him is the best offense.
Good luck!

Countering Our Surveillance Society

Everything you do and everywhere you are you’re being tracked, watched, recorded and more (what that more is I’m not sure but I bet it’s very, very bad!)

So when a good idea comes along that will help you protect your privacy I want to share it with you.

Introducing “Signal”. This is end-to-end encryption for your iphone. Keep your phone calls private and away from anyone, or thing, or over-reaching government organization (NSA anyone?) that might try to intercept them.

There’s a bit of work to install, like downloading the app from the Apple iTunes store and installing it, but after that you’re good to go.

You’re welcome.

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