Neighbors Can Be Bullies

The Revenge Guy

I hate the people that want to run your life from their home or apartment.
Let's get'em!!!!!

Breaking The Hold of a Bully Neighbor

Hi Revenge Guy,

Without our consent or prior knowledge, our neighbour tore down the fence along the property line between our backyards and put up a cheap, ugly fence in its place.

He then asked us to pay for half of the cost. Since we had no input whatsoever into any of the decisions, we refused. We have a recent survey that shows exactly where the property line is. He is now trying to tear out the hedge between our front yards. The property line is right along the middle of the hedge. We notified him in writing that he does not have our permission to do anything to our side of the hedge but he says he can do as he pleases.

We have started pouring tons of well-rotted comfrey fertiliser along the hedge. It has a lot of liquid as well as slimy rotten leaves. This stuff stinks to high heaven and you can never get rid of the smell. His dog loves it and I am sure it will work wonders on his carpets when the animal tracks it into his house.

We've planted sea buckthorn along the hedge. This stuff grows very fast, has huge thorns and puts out runners which will go all through his lawn. It won't go through our yard as I can keep it under control. It is indestructible.

We have poked out all the numerous knots in the backyard fence, bored holes in the posts and inserted stump rot.

We've nailed pea netting all over the fence and are growing beans up it.
We've notified the bylaw enforcement officers that he keeps an old car parked in front of his house in violation of a 72 hour parking bylaw.

He has on several occasions told us that one of our other neighbours (let's call him John) threw rocks through his window and destroyed part of his lawn with Round-up. No charges have been made against John and it has not been proved that he had anything to do with these incidents. If we told John what our neighbour was saying about him, could he sue for slander? We would we willing to act as witnesses.

Getting revenge is important for my self-esteem. Allowing myself to be shoved around by this arrogant bully would undermine my feeling of self-worth. Is there anything else we can do to get revenge?
Thank you for your assistance.

Revenge JokerHi Happy Homeowner,
You are really amazing to have started this neighbor war in the methods you have chosen, my hat is off to you!

Continue your war of protecting your property line and house value.

Look at getting this guy into court for slander, I fully endorse such a move. Bullies need to be brought down to the regular earth all of us good people share. Share what you know! The truth will out all the bullies!

I would also start an online photo essay of your property, on a site like and be certain to have the picture "peek" into his yard. Let's take pleasure in what happens to his yard. Without any prior knowledge, of course.

BTW, if I need help with a bad neighbor will you share more of what you've done?
Thanks for emailing me,

The Upstairs Neighbors

Dear Revenge Guy,
My husband and I live in a 4 family home. Last year we got a new neighbor above us, a young 20ish girl. The other tenants in the house are the landlords in-laws and another older couple. My husband and I are in our 40's.

From day 1, there were definitely more than one person staying there and they are serious night people. To make a story short….they have caused lots of problems and are being evicted. The landlord says he doesn't know how long the process will take, but in the mean time they are basically terrorizing us. We tried to get along at first and I realized when I stopped up there once that they have NO furniture.

They live in 2 bedrooms. So when they come in at night….several people congregate and party in the bedroom above us.

My husband has to get up at 4:30 am for work and they come in at all hours of the night….who knows how many of them. Yes we've called the police……I do not want to be a nuisance to them.

My husband wants to go to the basement and flip the breaker on their music when it's loud. I'm afraid he'll get caught. I say go down when we know they're out and flip the switch on their frig. We're between a rock and a hard place.

Hi Neighbor,
When you have the power over the power, use it.

First off, yes, start with pulling the breaker when the noise get's too loud. Give your husband the go-ahead to do it.

Doing it when they're out probably won't make much use because I bet they don't have anything in their fridge that isn't "shelf stable", that is, won't rot in 50 years or so.

Follow up with calls from a "detective" asking for them to make an appointment to come in for an "interview". /p>

Take pictures of your building or encourage your landlords to do so. I'd bet my bottom dollar that there will be a "moving out party" to trash the place when they go. Punks like this don't care about a damage deposit, if they gave one at all.

If you're any good at photo editing, scan in an image of your utility bill, which ever you have to pay yourself, electricity, gas, water, whatever. Change your name to theirs, of course, and add several hundred dollars to the bill for them to pay.

Change the number to call for customer service to a sex line number. Freak them out.

Quieting down a group of pigs is hard to do, but you can make them ready to leave a lot sooner than the eviction if you do things right.
Best wishes,

Red Fence Bastards

Dear Revenge Guy,
I share a combined front yard with my neighbors. They re-landscaped their side of the yard and put up an ugly red fence in between us without asking us if it was ok. It is on our shared property line, but they didn't ask for our approval.

The red fence doesn't match with our other fences and looks awful. Also, it has ruined the look of my side of the yard.

We don't have a Homeowner's Association and there is no city code. How can I get revenge?

Hi Phyllis,
Paint your side of the fence to a more pleasing color.
Send them a registered letter before you do, notifying them of your plans.

Get a lawyer involved if the letter doesn't work.

And if you don't paint it, plant some bushes or hedges….

And every once in a while through some granular fertilizer on their side, after a few weeks the fertilizer will burn the hell out of their lawn.
Good luck!

Crappy Neighbors Threatened Me

Hi RG,

We purchased a house 3 years ago and the people next door are typical white trash, they keep a tree trimming truck, chipper and stump grinder on their property as well as a few junk cars.

We live in a nice well kept neighborhood, they drive and park all over their property they constantly have kids over for parties, drinking, music, screaming, through the night.

We have 2 small children and since we've been here we can't even open their windows at night, and are forced to turn on the AC on beautiful nights, even with their windows closed they can't fall asleep and are constantly being woken up due to the noise.

We have asked numerous times with no results, called the police, as soon as the police drive away it starts up again, last night we called and as soon as the police left someone yelled out "keep calling the police and we'll F$#* up your house" We are at a loss on what to do HELP !!!!!
Greg T.

Hi Greg,
First off: security cameras.

Second: motion detector lights.

Third: talk with your other neighbors, I'm sure they've had sleepless nights too and would welcome the opportunity to gang up on these asses.

Fourth: Liquid Ass. Spray it over the fence when they're NOT outside but you know they WILL BE later.

Fifth: Video camera. Capture these guys in the act, when needed this will make a great case for you in the courts, should this go that far.

Getting rid of bad neighbors, unless they are renters is quite difficult. Do a property search, find out their names and do a criminal background check. odds are good that they all have some arrests and convictions in their pasts, so you could again enlist your neighbors and start a poster campaign to get these bums to move.

You MUST have the support and willingness of your good neighbors to force out the bad.

Introduce yourself around, if you haven't yet, and get started.
Good luck!

She's Calling The Cops On Me For Noise During The Middle of the Day!

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have a neighbor that is such a royal B*tch.

My roommate that lived with me for two years got involved with her and they had a nasty break up. After the break up she was yelling derogatory statements to him and his son. He got the cops involved which they were not much help so he decided to move.

She has now started to take it out on me.

She has called the cops on me several times for music complaints. They other day it was at 5:00 in the afternoon on a Friday. The music was not that loud and I had it playing for well over 2 hours but the second my old roommate showed up the cops were there immediately after.

I have never been sited for these complaints and have even had the officer tell me that it wasn't that loud.

There have been many of times that my lawn mower would be a lot louder.

A few weeks back I was sleeping and the neighbor on the other side had his music up I didn't care but she called the cops on me not him. Since she is giving my address they have to respond to my house.

This has got to the point were I can't even watch my tv at a descent volume to hear it with out her calling the police.

It has effected my way of living that has been the same for the last 4 years. I would like to find away to make it stop. She doesn't have a job and is home all day. Please Help!!!!!Thank you,

First thinks first, find out what the noise bylaws are for where you live.
You'll likely find that the police can't do anything because the noise is during the day and well within the noise bylaws where you live.
With that knowledge in hand, go to the police and see about making a harassment complaint against her, tit for tat, right?!!

Now for the better part of revenge….
get her phone number, do a reverse lookup if needed to get her info and post her info everywhere you can think of. (I have plenty if ideas throughout my site!)
Make job ads for her, selling things, whatever.
Keep a steady stream of people calling her and coming to her door.

At least she'll be too busy to worry about you anymore.
Best wishes,

What Do I Do To Get Back At My Ignorant Neighbor And Her Brats?

Dear Revenge Guy,

I would never have thought that I would ask someone's advice on how to get back at people, but my neighbors really piss me off.

I moved in a townhouse about 1.5 year ago, and immediately I realized that those people are ignorant.

First they younger kid brought some kids and they had like an orgie in my backyard.

I called the police then, they spoke to the neighbors, and then the mother became upset that like her child is just a kid.

Then they started playing basketball on the driveway (it's joint), and they were always on my front lawn.

I was kicking out the small kids all the time from there.

Then the older kid started walking through my lawn to drag his lawn mower. I told them not to, and that guy was almost swearing at me like "I will not stop doing that!".

Finally this year my lawyer wrote them a letter like "Do not play ball on the other part lawn and driveway part".

No reaction.

More, that older son (who is over 18 for sure, and who does not study buy just stays at home and waits till his girlfriend picks him up in her car, or when some friends come to drink and then drive to party) walked with his dog right in front of my lawn.

That was a good reason to call the police again, and I was lucky to take some pictures.

So I called the police. Ha-ha. After like 9 days of waiting, I finally got a call from a police officer that she spoke to the mother, and that the mother promised that it will not happen again?!

The police woman did not even speak with the son, and when I tried to explain her all bad things they did, she was like "Oh, that mother told me that you were throwing stones and sod on her backyard " (lie).

So, now I don't know what to do. I saw that stupid son walking the dog, but so far he went around my lawn.

However that mother pissed me off with her lies. Also also the police did not seem to be helpful, she did not even want to issue a ticket to the son!!

My question is how to deal with that situation. I would love to get a revenge, however I obviously don't want to go overboard. Should I call the police woman's supervisor? Should I spread some real compost (from a farm) all over to have the neighbors smell it 24×7? What should I do?

In addition that mother claims to be poor and does not want to have a fence in the backyard (we don't have any fence!!).

So now she had some money to buy a huge table with an umbrella, and it's kind of close to the border with my yard. So I would have to see their stupid faces when they have a barbeque. What do I do????

Please HELP!!
Yours, Suffering


You are in a bad place, but there is no point in NOT sharing the misery you suffer.

If I were you I'd be fertilizing the lawn every second week… just spread the manure on, let the kids walk through that.

Have a security camera installed, track the kids trespassing, gather the evidence for the police.

Be proactive!

Go to the police department and search for a sympathetic ear to tell your tale to. Have recordings, journal documentation, the whole nine yards.

Check the strata/townhouse bylaws where you are, you might have a good case to force her and those brats to vacate/move. tread the rules carefully.

try to get elected to the townhouse board of directors… people usually try to NOT be on the board and go with whatever decisions are made.

With that type of power you could easily make her living there a nightmarish hell.

Check on the watering restrictions too! And BBQ rules, I'm sure the development you live in has restrictions on outdoor grills, most places do.

Talk with your other neighbors and see what is happening to them. Many times people silently suffer their neighbors obnoxious behavior, but you can be the spark that starts the fire!

Do it!

Don't wait for these brats to fly away from mommy's side, they won't!

Building My New Home

Dear Revenge Guy,
I read some of the advice on your website and was intrigued. I would love to know if you have any suggestions for my husband and me.

We are in the process of building a new house at the end of a cul-de-sac street. The space is somewhat tight at the end of this street, and there are essentially three homes there (ours and 2 others). At
the very end of the street lives our now problem neighbor.

Soon after we purchased the property, on which a home had stood vacant for 2 to 3 years, this neighbor somehow found my husband's work phone number and email address and called to say he hoped we wouldn't be removing many of the trees on the property. We were surprised at this and thought it was none of his business, but we assured him that where we had to remove trees, we would replant new ones.

Subsequent to that time, our builder one day came across a yard worker carrying an expensive Japanese Maple tree, which he had dug up from the backyard of our property, toward his landscape truck. The truck was parked in the driveway of our neighbor's house. Caught in the act of stealing our tree, which retails for between one and two thousand dollars, the yard worker said he would put it back. Due to the way he had butchered its roots, it could not survive, and it died. We were angry at the time, but we did not feel that we could prove who had tried to steal it, and we were eager to begin our relationship with our neighbors on a positive note. We did not formally say anything to them about it.

Well, since construction has begun this man and his wife have been irrational and nasty. I went over to officially introduce myself before the construction was underway to apologize for the inconvenience and establish a friendly relationship. This seemed to go well, except that the husband continued to ask about whether we planned to remove all the trees that were marked.

Some time later, my husband got another email at work from this man, stating that his wife observed the construction crew "dumping garbage" on their property. This neighbor said that he expected to be notified no later than noon that day that it had been cleaned up. We called our builder to ask about this, and when he drove across town to investigate the "garbage dumping," he found one paper coffee cup and an empty Jello cup. He picked these up and we all could not believe how crazy these people were. I pick up that much trash and more from my yard regularly, simply from what gets blown in by the wind.

Later that week, we drove to check things out at the site and ran into the wife. We waved and said hello. She did not respond but asked whether they had taken care of "all the trash." We said that we did not see any trash, but did she? She began to shake all over and said that there was a "red buckle" on her side of the silt fence. When we went to check, it was extremely hard to see, but we did find a small red buckle contraption nearly buried in the dirt, and my husband removed it. The area between our two lots goes down into a deep gully covered by trees that is quite shady and hard to see into.

The latest communication from these friendly and gracious people came last week to my husband's email stating that OUR brick delivery truck had hit and damaged one of their pine trees. The neighbor said that he had called his tree company to come out and photograph the damage and that he would be sending us the bill for the cost of their services to "save" the tree. My husband responded that he should send the invoice on and that our builder would look into it. We investigated and found that the brick truck driver had hit the tree (there was one square foot of bark knocked off) and that his company would take responsibility.

This week, when the invoice came, Mr. Obnoxious emailed my husband again at work and said that he should send the reimbursement check to his work address and that they would hold us responsible if this 50 year old pine tree did not make it and died. My husband replied that he would forward the invoice on to our builder who was coordinating with the brick company and that further concerns about the tree should be addressed to the brick company. They were responsible for the damage.

These people are unbelievably obnoxious and I have grown increasingly more angry as they barrage my husband at work with their complaints. Their attitude is incredible given that we did not pester them about the expensive tree WE lost (I mentioned that very briefly during my visit to meet them) and that we have responded in a prompt and polite way to their concerns. They clearly do not wish to have anyone build or live on the lot next to them. I have never been one to seek revenge, but I am finding myself wanting to put this man in his place. He assumes a condescending and accusatory air towards us that is out of line and infuriating. I would welcome any actions you could offer that would enable me to stick it right back to him.
Thanks so much,
Homebuilder under attack

Hi Homebuilder,
From now on have all corresponded go through your lawyer. Hit the ant with the largest hammer you have.

You see, when you try to be nice these neighbors are understanding you as weak, so they try to push you around and make you jump through hoops… and you jump!

This will end up being a court case, I'm sure.

Print out all emails, save every phone call details.
Write down and photo everything on a weekly basis as to how the construction progresses, etc. Ask your builder to take daily pictures when they leave for the day, if possible.

Check local building laws, make sure everything you do is by the book. Detail the costs involved with this heightened recording of your building being done, it'll come in handy.

Make sure your property is posted "No Trespassing" and that your liability insurance is paid up.

You are in for a battle that has just begun so be prepared.
Good luck!

Parking Wars

Dear Revenge Guy,
Hopefully you don't find this situation too similar to ones already posted on your site- we are looking for some advice on dealing with neighbors across the street from us.

A little less than a year ago we moved into a fairly young neighborhood in which rows of townhomes (which we live in) sit across the street from single family homes.

We were warned by our next door neighbor to watch out on parking in front of the house across the street, they made frequent complaints and had even egged our neighbors car once because they were too close to the mailbox.

In December, my husband accidently parked about 2 inches on the grass with one tire (the other tire was entirely on the curb) and they left a threatening note on his windshield that said "Park on my grass again and you'll be sorry" or something along those lines.

That day we went over and introduced ourselves, explained that we were sorry but we thought the letter somewhat inappropriate.

We tried to be friendly but at the same time stand up for ourselves that they had never met us before and should have tried talking to us before leaving such a hateful letter. They used the excuse that "thats how they were raised to handle things" (These people come across as fairly uneducated hicks in my opinion) but apologized for the overraction. We tossed the note and moved on.

Since that time, we bought a new vehicle and put our other one up for sale, and since my husband also has a work car we now have more vehicles than fit in our driveway, so my spare car which I don't drive much anymore was parked in front of their house (because there isn't parking on our side of the street).

It was there for about a week and a half until they called the cops on us tonight for having it parked there for over 24 hours. Now granted, we broke the rule but we weren't hurting anything! We weren't blocking the mailbox, driveway, etc. In addition people are always parking on the street so even if we weren't parked there, someone else would be.

Well, my husband and are are out of town for the holiday but luckily my sister was there doing laundry when the cops came and explained that we would be back on Tuesday to move the vehicle.

SO that long story was to explain that I'm looking for a way to get back at them for being jerks for no reason.

If you live across from townhomes that have single car garages, they should realize that people will always be parking in front of their home, get over it!!!

I want to get back at them somehow, but I'm really not enough of a daredevil to do anything illegal. Can you help at all? I know very little about these people except that they are ignorant and rude.

My sister did try to go over and talk to them again tonight to explain that we were gone but would move the vehicle on Tuesday if they would please not call the cops again until then, and they pretty much treated her like dirt. I just want to be able to park without worrying every day if I'll come home to a ticket.

Oh, and one other thing, I really don't want to just park the car I do drive daily in that spot because 1. it would give them too much satisfaction and 2. I have a 1 year old son and usually several other things to carry inside when I come home everyday so its really a pain to have to park so far from my front door.
Thanks for any advice!
PS sorry this was so lengthy!!

Hi Sally,
People are very territorial; and you've stumbled across a roost of turkeys that need to control everything in their sight.

While you can't do anything but offend them every time you park in front of their house you did do everything right: introducing yourself, apologizing for parking over the usual time limit, etc.

Now it's time to play their game but, you know, you're the number one suspect no matter what happens to them.

Again, the first thing I'd try is kindness, bribing them for the parking "permission" just might appease these monkeys, and that's what I'd try first, again. Maybe go to their front door and give them a bottle of booze and see what their reaction is. Certainly if you continue to offend them by parking in front of their house (and it seems like you don't have many options without a long walk home) you'll be spending a lot of time cleaning egg, and worse, off your car.

Revenge here really isn't justified:
1. you are parking in front of their home, you have too many vehicles where you live, didn't you see that when you bought the place?
2. they have more opportunity to mark up and harm your car than you have time to fight them and stirring up trouble against these people

Making nice, in this instance, is my recommendation.
Spring for a bottle of booze once a month, maybe a dozen doughnuts, whatever you think they might like.
It will certainly be cheaper than starting a parking war.

I hope this helps, if things get worse email me again,
Best wishes,

Revenge Guy Gets Even With Bullies

The Revenge GuyThe Revenge Guy
Get's Even With Bullies

Need a little help getting even with a bully that has done you wrong?

Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need
to help you get even and regain your stature as an important person. Get
Even Now!

Revenge Guy

I’m sooo happy to have come across your
website… I’m at my wits end. Yesterday I had an insulin reaction
that caused me to need to pull over while in a parking lot for a few
minutes. Granted I did not pull into a space like I should’ve, but
when my blood sugar takes a hold of me I have to react fast. My real
problem began when the lady behind me in her car got mad I was in
the way (she could have gone around), then pulled into a nearby
parking space and proceeded to bitch me out for not moving. I yelled
out why I had pulled over, and being the white trash that she was,
didn’t understand, and told me I should learn how to drive!!

Alrighty then! What could I have done to get revenge on this piece
of trash? She went into a restaurant, and I wished she would choke
on her food, but I’m just not sure that wishful thinking really
turned out. Is there anything I can do for these morons, besides
wishing they would all explode? Thank you so much for your time. I
really hope you have time for a response.

Revenge JokerHi

We all have to put up with the inconsiderate asses that have gotten
their drivers license in a box of popcorn and their politeness
lessons at a rodeo.

The best you can do is be prepared. When something happens that
forces you to pull over put on your flashing hazard lights right
away. When the kids are acting up in the back seat I will pull over,
throw on the hazard lights then deal with them. Let the cars behind
me know that there is something going on and to be careful when
going around me. Hazard lights will also get attention of passersby,
and the police if they are near, should you need other emergency

As for dealing with the jerks on the road you should have at a
minimum a small pad of paper and a pen. When someone hassles you
like this lady did I’d write down her license plate number and
report her to the police. Tell the police that she harassed you and
was driving without due care as she sped around you in a busy
parking lot. Let her deal with the police following up the report
when they show up at her door.

As well, you may want to have a small digital camera with you, maybe
even one that also captures video, so you can get evidence of bad
driving when possible.

As for the piece of trash you had to
deal with, I would’ve stuck a note on her car that simply said
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Revenge Guy

I recently went on a trip with my boyfriend’s
family. Without asking me, his two teenage nephews and one teenage
niece were put in our car. I rented a car to drive down, and these
two teenage boys were absolute nightmares the entire trip. So I
decided to start poking fun at them (to their faces) to try and get
a rise out of them so that we could at least stand each other for
the rest of the trip.

One of the boys, 15 years old, mind you, called his mother who was
not on the trip. After a five hour drive back home (and an extra 20
minutes out of our way to drop them off), the mother runs out into
the street in her pajamas and starts to berate me for making fun of
her son. I told her I wasn’t going to discuss it at that moment and
drove away. The mother bad mouthed me to the rest of his family,
apparently going so far as to say that I’m "dead" to her. My
boyfriend told me that the last night of the trip the two teenage
boys were saying horrible things about me (so nasty that he won’t
tell me what they said). So I want revenge on these two simpering
little know-it-alls who think it’s so funny to torture and tattle
other people while being just as guilty themselves. It should
preferably be something I can remain anonymous with so that I can
cause even more consternation from his family. I hate these little
brats and I want them to suffer.
Teenage boys suck

Revenge JokerHi,
Suffering through these "little boy taunts" is a fact of life.
As far as revenge, what can you do against school aged kids that you
can’t be charged with should you get caught?
If you ever confront them face-to-face again, you’ll need to discuss
this trip issue openly.
As an adult.

As for revenge?
Should you get caught out any number of things could backfire, but
what I’d do is call there home’s pretending to be security at a
local mal. Accuse the kids of attempted shoplifting, they weren’t
caught but a couple of kids they were with were caught and they told
security of these two boys. Tell the mother that the boys are now
banned from the mall. And get off the phone.
Let their houses find upheaval for a while.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Revenge Guy

Recently I was at a friends house with a guy I’ve
known for about 8 months, there was a party and we got slightly

Later on in the night, as I and some others were skinny dipping in
the pool, someone took all of our clothes and hid them. So when we
got out, we went and looked for them, 3 friends of mine were naked,
wet and cold looking for our clothes, so I and a girl who was in the
pool wound up stumbling drunk into an upstairs bedroom, things began
to get interesting when my "friend" busted in and started screaming
for us to leave, throwing things and punching walls.

I decided to leave, seeing how he was drunk and much bigger than me.
I also have a broken wrist, so fighting was out of the question. On
the way to the car I felt something hit me in the back of the head,
I tried to talk him down, but that is the last thing I remember. I
woke up in my car cut and bleeding, with my already broken wrist
hurting even worse. My phone rang, and it was my friends and some of
his friends threatening me even more. Outside of the law, how should
I deal with this?

Revenge Joker Hi,
The guy assaulted you. Call the police.

At the very least, have a friend call him saying they’re from the
police and sweat him for a while.
Let him know that he’s soon to be arrested.
There is a warrant out for him and he should get a lawyer ASAP.
Call him very couple of days posing as this cop making a date two
weeks in the future to “pick him up unless he turns himself in” and
the continued calls are to be certain that he’s still in town.

Sweat him.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

hi revengeguy
my name is Nicki and i need help getting revenge on someone whos caused me
and some other people a lot of trouble.Well it starts off like this: this
guy in my class has been nothing but trouble since day 1…my friend whos
in a different class got bullied by this guy in her class it got worse day
by day so i said that he couldnt do that to her and get a way with it so i
said i would sort this asshole of a guy out…i went up to him and had a
go at him i even threatened him by pranking his house saying that wherever
you go ill always be watching you every step you take every breath you
make might be the last…i think he caught on to me though in class he
would always be getting me into trouble and i used to end up doing extra
work and detensions then one time he tried to follow me and friends as we
were going home i saw him and told my friends so then we got on to a bus
and just went anywhere and it was too late for him we had already
left…the next day at school i left the classroom in one lesson and i
left my bag and jacket as youre not allowed to take it with you well
anyway he must have gone through my bag because when i came back my phone
was gone!i looked for it everywhere and i couldnt find it…i told the
teacher but she didnt believe me and said that we wernt allowed to have
phones anyway so i knew it was him but i couldnt do anything because i had
no proof or anything…a week later some guys in my class were asking me
if i had my phone on me i said no its at home (lied)they asked me if it
this colour and if it was in a case and the modle(i said yes but i told
them i still had it ) they kept saying that hes got it hes got it and that
i got jacked(stolen) at that point i knew it was him and plus he didnt
talk to me since he stole it…i couldnt report the phone stolen because
my dad found it for me at his work just lying on top of a bin it was brand
new and had been left there for days so he got it and gave it to me it
worked and still had a sim card in side so i chucked that and put my one
in…but obviously when my phone got stolen by him i blocked the sim card
and anyway the phone was switched off at the time so theres no way he
could have got through to the pin code…i know hes got my phone because i
saw him selling it to someone for about £30! he doesnt say anything to me
anymore well a few cuses here and there but i so badly want to get revenge
but i dont know how so i really need you help! so please help me get
revenge :(

Revenge JokerHi N,
This guy is just a common prick/thief combination, isn’t he?
You need to gang up on him with your other friends that have been bullied.
Get a picture of him and create a poster that says something like:
No looks, no brains, no future.
Have your friends help you posting them all over the place, in school,
outside of school, etc.
That will make him noticed and a laughingstock everywhere.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Hey revenge guy, I have a problem.
I was at my friends house with a few of the girls, and me and my friend
a bet. She then said that the bet was that the loser would literally
have to
kiss the winner’s butt. Well…I really didn’t want to lose this, and I
sure that I was right and she would have to kiss my butt…however, it
didn’t work out that way.
I lost the bet. And the deal was that now I had to kiss her ass.
We argued over if it would be her bare butt or not. I said no, but her
the other girls said there would be no point if it wasn’t her bare butt.
So she pulled her pants down, and I got down on my knees. The other
got down beside me to make sure I kissed it.
She said "Pucker up" and I kissed her ass. How humiliating!
But that wasn’t the end. When I wasn’t expecting it, the other girls
my face into her ass, and rubbed it in and wouldn’t let go. I could
breathe and it smelled awful. And I really had to worry about that now,
because she farted in my face!
They all laughed so hard at me. I’m like the laughing stock of the
How can I get revenge?

Revenge JokerHi A,
Well, these so-called friends sure took advantage of you, didn’t they? I
think that you should have a pizza-party to make up with them. Tell them
that no hard feelings, all is forgiven. And, best of all, you’ll buy the
pizza! Of course, you’ll want to add something special in the pizza,
like dog poop, or something equally gross. Maybe something not so
smelly, head to the local pet store and get them to give you some
mouse/rat droppings for your ‘school project’. You will probably need to
enlist another friend to help you ‘dress-up’ the pizza, so that your
victims won’t suspect anything.
Get some pictures too! They eat while you take pictures. Before and
after…. Hehehe.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Hi Revenge Guy,
I need to preface this by letting you know upfront that I’m not normally
a revenge-driven person; my friends say I’m a little soft on people, but
in this case, the need for an even score is starting to appeal to me.
It all started back in October, when I took a freelance web design job
for a small, corporate gift service. I was close to broke, so I took the
job, even though my initial feeling of the guy who owns the company
wasn’t all that good. He was loud, obnoxious, used some derogatory terms
toward certain races, but I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with that a
lot, since I primarily work from home. I designed the website, then
redesigned it at his request, and for a small fee. During all of this
time, he would ask me to come into his home office to help him with a
few extra tasks, which I didn’t have a problem with, because he was
pretty much computer illiterate. He kept calling me back, and each time,
would ask me to do more and more, and I did it under the promise of
extra money. But what I had to deal with was a barrage of antisemitic
remarks (I’m Jewish), his showing me photos of his penis, his telling me
about his escapades as a gay escort. He also confessed to me that he had
charged over $1500 to one of his corporate gift client’s Amex card, then
blamed it on his former roommate, and that he was operating illegally
without a business license or state tax ID. I was subjected to words
like "nigger" and "cocksucker" on a daily basis, as well as his calling
drunk at 2am because he couldn’t access his Hotmail account. I watched
in absolute horror when he verbally confronted an employee of an event
that we attended together. And then I finally quit, and asked him to pay
He wrote me three checks. They all bounced. And now I’m trying to
collect on them, and he refuses to return my calls, e-mails, etc. I
wrote him a letter saying that if I wasn’t paid within a specified
amount of time, I would sue. Now he’s constantly calling, harassing me
to the point that I’ve had to to block his phone number, and file a
report with the cops. He’s been trash talking me to anyone who will
listen, has posted some nasty things about me online, and the only real
retaliation I’ve sought is having the nasty stuff taken down.
At this point, it’s no longer about the money. It’s about getting him to
shut his cakehole and can it once and for all. I just want to level the
playing field. I’ve kept very quiet and calm about the whole thing,
especially the illegal stuff, because I never wanted to make the issue
about that with him, just that he’d written me three bad checks,
totaling about $2500.00. But as things stand now, I’m thinking that the
money and time I’m lost are worth a little retribution. I just don’t
know where to start.
I’m totally serious about this, and could use a little advice.
Thanks :-)K

Revenge JokerHi K,
There are lots of ways to get even with a cretin like this, but the
whole question really should be "Is it going to be a waste of your time
or not?".
I’ve had experience with such creeps and, without exception, they all
have ways of squirreling out of the biggest messes they’ve created, the
biggest lies they’ve been caught in with rarely a scratch to their
The good news is that now with the internet in most homes and every
business, you can add to someone’s reputation (or take away from it)
with posts online.
But I’d start with the usual steps, inform the better Business Bureau in
your area, the Chamber of Commerce, the local tax authorities. Be sure
to drop in personally, with copies of your bounced checks and a letter
of what has happened to you that you can leave with them.
The next step, small claims court. In this case it’s going to be worth
the few dollars it costs to begin a suit against this guy.
Then the posts online begin, do a google for local search and feedback
websites. TV and radio stations are good ones to use if they have
feedback forums. Be sure to provide a link to an image of the bounced
checks you have. (You do have your own website that you can post such
things, right?)
Think "fire with fire" type posts.
Throughout all of this, keep a small voice recorder handy so that, if
confronted, you can capture the conversation.
I hope that this helps.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I go to a small private high school and have been putting up with this
jerk since the 7th grade. This kid has done everything to me that is
possibly imaginable. He’s made fun of many at things I am better at than
he is, tuck taped my locker shut, spit in my drinks, constantly tries to
pick fights, and the worst part is after all this stuff the guy will come
up to me and say "Hey, Ben, How was your day?" like nothing ever happened
then get mad at me when I don’t say anything to him. I have tried to go
through the school and have them deal with him, but my Dean won’t listen
to me even when I had a bunch of honors students who are the Dean’s
friends back me up. The only people that are willing to help me are the
entire student body of my high school. This guy has it coming to him.
We’ve tried ignoring him, confronting him, and "persuading" him to stop by
force. He needs to pay for all he’s done to everyone and especially me.
Since I am the main target of this guy, everyone expects me to handle him.
I’ve come with several ideas including magazine subscriptions, male
seeking male personal ads, and various things involving duck tape and a
flag pole, but this needs to be public and something I can get into little
or no trouble with.
Thanks very much,

Revenge JokerHi BK,
Jerks like this deserve to be made a public display. I suggest having you
and/or your friends follow this guy with whatever recording devices you
can get your hands on. Whether covertly or in the open, take pictures of
him, video him, record his voice.
Catch him in the act of doing something and display it for all to see.
This shouldn’t take long, since you’ve told me what a loser this guy is.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

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