Revenge Guy

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This is where you read revenge stories about dating, boyfriends and girlfriends

People that have been dating have written in to ask The Revenge Guy for advice so they can get revenge on ex friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, that are now exes, for obvious reasons as you will soon read.

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Revenge Guy Gets Even With Bullies

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The Revenge Guy Tells You How to Deal with Bullies 

Need a little help getting even with a bully that has done you wrong?

Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need to help you get even and regain your stature as an important person. Get Even Now!

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy
I’m sooo happy to have come across your website… I’m at my wits end. Yesterday I had an insulin reaction that caused me to need to pull over while in a parking lot for a few minutes. Granted I did not pull into a space like I should’ve, but when my blood sugar takes a hold of me I have to react fast. My real problem began when the lady behind me in her car got mad I was in the way (she could have gone around), then pulled into a nearby parking space and proceeded to bitch me out for not moving. I yelled out why I had pulled over, and being the white trash that she was, didn’t understand, and told me I should learn how to drive!!

Alrighty then! What could I have done to get revenge on this piece of trash? She went into a restaurant, and I wished she would choke on her food, but I’m just not sure that wishful thinking really turned out. Is there anything I can do for these morons, besides wishing they would all explode? Thank you so much for your time. I really hope you have time for a response.

Revenge JokerHi Anna,
We all have to put up with the inconsiderate asses that have gotten their drivers license in a box of popcorn and their politeness lessons at a rodeo.

The best you can do is be prepared. When something happens that forces you to pull over put on your flashing hazard lights right away. When the kids are acting up in the back seat I will pull over, throw on the hazard lights then deal with them. Let the cars behind me know that there is something going on and to be careful when going around me. Hazard lights will also get attention of passersby, and the police if they are near, should you need other emergency help.

As for dealing with the jerks on the road you should have at a minimum a small pad of paper and a pen. When someone hassles you like this lady did I’d write down her license plate number and report her to the police. Tell the police that she harassed you and was driving without due care as she sped around you in a busy parking lot. Let her deal with the police following up the report when they show up at her door.

As well, you may want to have a small digital camera with you, maybe even one that also captures video, so you can get evidence of bad driving when possible.

As for the piece of trash you had to deal with, I would’ve stuck a note on her car that simply said “Ass**le”.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy Dear Revenge Guy
I recently went on a trip with my boyfriend’s family. Without asking me, his two teenage nephews and one teenage niece were put in our car. I rented a car to drive down, and these two teenage boys were absolute nightmares the entire trip. So I decided to start poking fun at them (to their faces) to try and get a rise out of them so that we could at least stand each other for the rest of the trip.

One of the boys, 15 years old, mind you, called his mother who was not on the trip. After a five hour drive back home (and an extra 20 minutes out of our way to drop them off), the mother runs out into the street in her pajamas and starts to berate me for making fun of her son. I told her I wasn’t going to discuss it at that moment and drove away. The mother bad mouthed me to the rest of his family, apparently going so far as to say that I’m “dead” to her. My boyfriend told me that the last night of the trip the two teenage boys were saying horrible things about me (so nasty that he won’t tell me what they said). So I want revenge on these two simpering little know-it-alls who think it’s so funny to torture and tattle other people while being just as guilty themselves. It should preferably be something I can remain anonymous with so that I can cause even more consternation from his family. I hate these little brats and I want them to suffer.
Teenage boys suck

Revenge JokerHi,
Suffering through these “little boy taunts” is a fact of life.
As far as revenge, what can you do against school aged kids that you can’t be charged with should you get caught?
If you ever confront them face-to-face again, you’ll need to discuss this trip issue openly.
As an adult.

As for revenge?
Should you get caught out any number of things could backfire, but what I’d do is call there home’s pretending to be security at a local mal. Accuse the kids of attempted shoplifting, they weren’t caught but a couple of kids they were with were caught and they told security of these two boys. Tell the mother that the boys are now banned from the mall. And get off the phone.
Let their houses find upheaval for a while.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy
Recently I was at a friends house with a guy I’ve known for about 8 months, there was a party and we got slightly inebriated.

Later on in the night, as I and some others were skinny dipping in the pool, someone took all of our clothes and hid them. So when we got out, we went and looked for them, 3 friends of mine were naked, wet and cold looking for our clothes, so I and a girl who was in the pool wound up stumbling drunk into an upstairs bedroom, things began to get interesting when my “friend” busted in and started screaming for us to leave, throwing things and punching walls.

I decided to leave, seeing how he was drunk and much bigger than me. I also have a broken wrist, so fighting was out of the question. On the way to the car I felt something hit me in the back of the head, I tried to talk him down, but that is the last thing I remember. I woke up in my car cut and bleeding, with my already broken wrist hurting even worse. My phone rang, and it was my friends and some of his friends threatening me even more. Outside of the law, how should I deal with this?

Revenge Joker Hi,
The guy assaulted you. Call the police.

At the very least, have a friend call him saying they’re from the police and sweat him for a while.
Let him know that he’s soon to be arrested.
There is a warrant out for him and he should get a lawyer ASAP.
Call him very couple of days posing as this cop making a date two weeks in the future to “pick him up unless he turns himself in” and the continued calls are to be certain that he’s still in town.

Sweat him.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guyhi revengeguy
my name is Nicki and i need help getting revenge on someone whos caused me and some other people a lot of trouble.Well it starts off like this: this guy in my class has been nothing but trouble since day 1…my friend whos in a different class got bullied by this guy in her class it got worse day by day so i said that he couldnt do that to her and get a way with it so i said i would sort this asshole of a guy out…i went up to him and had a go at him i even threatened him by pranking his house saying that wherever you go ill always be watching you every step you take every breath you make might be the last…i think he caught on to me though in class he would always be getting me into trouble and i used to end up doing extra work and detensions then one time he tried to follow me and friends as we were going home i saw him and told my friends so then we got on to a bus and just went anywhere and it was too late for him we had already left…the next day at school i left the classroom in one lesson and i left my bag and jacket as youre not allowed to take it with you well anyway he must have gone through my bag because when i came back my phone was gone!i looked for it everywhere and i couldnt find it…i told the teacher but she didnt believe me and said that we wernt allowed to have phones anyway so i knew it was him but i couldnt do anything because i had no proof or anything…a week later some guys in my class were asking me if i had my phone on me i said no its at home (lied)they asked me if it this colour and if it was in a case and the modle(i said yes but i told them i still had it ) they kept saying that hes got it hes got it and that i got jacked(stolen) at that point i knew it was him and plus he didnt talk to me since he stole it…i couldnt report the phone stolen because my dad found it for me at his work just lying on top of a bin it was brand new and had been left there for days so he got it and gave it to me it worked and still had a sim card in side so i chucked that and put my one in…but obviously when my phone got stolen by him i blocked the sim card and anyway the phone was switched off at the time so theres no way he could have got through to the pin code…i know hes got my phone because i saw him selling it to someone for about £30! he doesnt say anything to me anymore well a few cuses here and there but i so badly want to get revenge but i dont know how so i really need you help! so please help me get revenge :(

Revenge JokerHi N,
This guy is just a common prick/thief combination, isn’t he?
You need to gang up on him with your other friends that have been bullied. Get a picture of him and create a poster that says something like:
No looks, no brains, no future.
Have your friends help you posting them all over the place, in school, outside of school, etc.
That will make him noticed and a laughingstock everywhere.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyHey revenge guy, I have a problem.
I was at my friends house with a few of the girls, and me and my friend made a bet. She then said that the bet was that the loser would literally have to kiss the winner’s butt. Well…I really didn’t want to lose this, and I was sure that I was right and she would have to kiss my butt…however, it didn’t work out that way.
I lost the bet. And the deal was that now I had to kiss her ass.
We argued over if it would be her bare butt or not. I said no, but her and the other girls said there would be no point if it wasn’t her bare butt.
So she pulled her pants down, and I got down on my knees. The other girls got down beside me to make sure I kissed it.
She said “Pucker up” and I kissed her ass. How humiliating!
But that wasn’t the end. When I wasn’t expecting it, the other girls shoved my face into her ass, and rubbed it in and wouldn’t let go. I could hardly breathe and it smelled awful. And I really had to worry about that now, because she farted in my face! They all laughed so hard at me. I’m like the laughing stock of the group! How can I get revenge?

Revenge JokerHi A,
Well, these so-called friends sure took advantage of you, didn’t they? I think that you should have a pizza-party to make up with them. Tell them that no hard feelings, all is forgiven. And, best of all, you’ll buy the pizza! Of course, you’ll want to add something special in the pizza, like dog poop, or something equally gross. Maybe something not so smelly, head to the local pet store and get them to give you some mouse/rat droppings for your ‘school project’. You will probably need to enlist another friend to help you ‘dress-up’ the pizza, so that your victims won’t suspect anything.
Get some pictures too! They eat while you take pictures. Before and after…. Hehehe.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyHi Revenge Guy,
I need to preface this by letting you know upfront that I’m not normally a revenge-driven person; my friends say I’m a little soft on people, but in this case, the need for an even score is starting to appeal to me.
It all started back in October, when I took a freelance web design job for a small, corporate gift service. I was close to broke, so I took the job, even though my initial feeling of the guy who owns the company wasn’t all that good. He was loud, obnoxious, used some derogatory terms toward certain races, but I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with that a lot, since I primarily work from home. I designed the website, then redesigned it at his request, and for a small fee. During all of this time, he would ask me to come into his home office to help him with a few extra tasks, which I didn’t have a problem with, because he was pretty much computer illiterate. He kept calling me back, and each time, would ask me to do more and more, and I did it under the promise of extra money. But what I had to deal with was a barrage of antisemitic remarks (I’m Jewish), his showing me photos of his penis, his telling me about his escapades as a gay escort. He also confessed to me that he had charged over $1500 to one of his corporate gift client’s Amex card, then blamed it on his former roommate, and that he was operating illegally without a business license or state tax ID. I was subjected to words like “nigger” and “cocksucker” on a daily basis, as well as his calling drunk at 2am because he couldn’t access his Hotmail account. I watched in absolute horror when he verbally confronted an employee of an event that we attended together. And then I finally quit, and asked him to pay up.
He wrote me three checks. They all bounced. And now I’m trying to collect on them, and he refuses to return my calls, e-mails, etc. I wrote him a letter saying that if I wasn’t paid within a specified amount of time, I would sue. Now he’s constantly calling, harassing me to the point that I’ve had to to block his phone number, and file a report with the cops. He’s been trash talking me to anyone who will listen, has posted some nasty things about me online, and the only real retaliation I’ve sought is having the nasty stuff taken down.
At this point, it’s no longer about the money. It’s about getting him to shut his cakehole and can it once and for all. I just want to level the playing field. I’ve kept very quiet and calm about the whole thing, especially the illegal stuff, because I never wanted to make the issue about that with him, just that he’d written me three bad checks, totaling about $2500.00. But as things stand now, I’m thinking that the money and time I’m lost are worth a little retribution. I just don’t know where to start.
I’m totally serious about this, and could use a little advice.
Thanks :-)K

Revenge JokerHi K,
There are lots of ways to get even with a cretin like this, but the whole question really should be “Is it going to be a waste of your time or not?”.
I’ve had experience with such creeps and, without exception, they all have ways of squirreling out of the biggest messes they’ve created, the biggest lies they’ve been caught in with rarely a scratch to their reputation.
The good news is that now with the internet in most homes and every business, you can add to someone’s reputation (or take away from it) with posts online.
But I’d start with the usual steps, inform the better Business Bureau in your area, the Chamber of Commerce, the local tax authorities. Be sure to drop in personally, with copies of your bounced checks and a letter of what has happened to you that you can leave with them.
The next step, small claims court. In this case it’s going to be worth the few dollars it costs to begin a suit against this guy.
Then the posts online begin, do a google for local search and feedback websites. TV and radio stations are good ones to use if they have feedback forums. Be sure to provide a link to an image of the bounced checks you have. (You do have your own website that you can post such things, right?)
Think “fire with fire” type posts.
Throughout all of this, keep a small voice recorder handy so that, if confronted, you can capture the conversation.
I hope that this helps.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I go to a small private high school and have been putting up with this jerk since the 7th grade. This kid has done everything to me that is possibly imaginable. He’s made fun of many at things I am better at than he is, tuck taped my locker shut, spit in my drinks, constantly tries to pick fights, and the worst part is after all this stuff the guy will come up to me and say “Hey, Ben, How was your day?” like nothing ever happened then get mad at me when I don’t say anything to him. I have tried to go through the school and have them deal with him, but my Dean won’t listen to me even when I had a bunch of honors students who are the Dean’s friends back me up. The only people that are willing to help me are the entire student body of my high school. This guy has it coming to him. We’ve tried ignoring him, confronting him, and “persuading” him to stop by force. He needs to pay for all he’s done to everyone and especially me. Since I am the main target of this guy, everyone expects me to handle him. I’ve come with several ideas including magazine subscriptions, male seeking male personal ads, and various things involving duck tape and a flag pole, but this needs to be public and something I can get into little or no trouble with.
Thanks very much,

Revenge JokerHi BK,
Jerks like this deserve to be made a public display. I suggest having you and/or your friends follow this guy with whatever recording devices you can get your hands on. Whether covertly or in the open, take pictures of him, video him, record his voice.
Catch him in the act of doing something and display it for all to see. This shouldn’t take long, since you’ve told me what a loser this guy is.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

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