Roommate Revenge

The Revenge Guy
Revenge 3 By
The Revenge Guy


Do you  need advice about a BAD ROOMMATE?

Need to get him off the lease? Get her to stop bring her white trash
boyfriend to stay for days on end?

 Read on… The Revenge Guy can help you!

Not His Maid

Revenge Guy,

I have lived in a 3 bed apartment for about two years with another

About two months ago we had to quickly find a new roommate. I
guess I learned why girls advertise for NO GUYS when looking,
because we found a guy and it has been hell ever since.

Within the first two weeks, he was getting it on with my other
roommate, and one night they had been messing around in her room for
awhile when I came out to the kitchen and the entire place was full
of smoke. Apparently they decided to leave something cooking while
going off to make out for an hour.

When he came out I was opening the doors and fanning the fire
alarm so it wouldn't set off. When he asked what was going on I told
him the place was about to set on fire and he started yelling at me
like it was my fault.

I tried apologizing later (even though he was the one that almost
set the place on fire!) but he said he wouldn't accept it and we
would never be on good terms again.

Well, he's lived up to it.

He is now trying to turn my other roommate against me even though
she and I have never had any problems, and to be honest she is a bit
too dim to see it happening. He's naturally a really angry
person-stomps when he walks around, slams doors whenever he
leaves/enters a room, talks loudly and in your face and always upset
about something.

He also happens to be a personal trainer and buys
"health-conscious" things like "organic" toothpaste.

All of our names are on the lease which is up at the end of
August, but I can't afford to pay the early lease termination fees.

Of course my other roommate would never go for kicking him out
since they are apparently in love (even though he treats her like
crap). All the bills are in my name, and I pretty much own
everything in the apartment.

I'd love for him to just come home to an empty place with no
utilities but I don't want to do that to my other roommate.

There really is just no reasoning with him as I've tried, and she
could never see anything wrong in him.

He does little things that he knows piss me off like locking the
top lock which everyone knows always gets jammed, turns the cable
box off so I miss my ONE recorded show I watch every week, turns the
dishwasher on when I get in the shower, and makes rude comments like
"Oh, did I lock that? Must be my OCD" which is ironic because he's
never cleaned the bathroom he and I are forced to share since he
moved in.

I've tried, and there is honestly no logical reasoning or calm
discussion with this steroid-pumping asshole. What am I supposed to

Not Hi Maid &
Afraid To Piss Off a 6'4" Personal Trainer

Revenge JokerHi
Not His Maid,

Yes, you are in roommate hell. You likely did something very bad in
a previous life… LOL…

I think your nest bet actually is to turn the "dim one" into a
brighter bulb and see what she has in this guy.

Go out with her and talk with her, without his influence I am
sure she'll see your side more clearly.

Re-read your lease. Maybe add a page that he missed reading when
he signed the lease about "roommate rules":
No using water consuming devices when someone is in the shower…
etc, etc.

And I'd also do the same things he is doing to you. Let revenge
be a duplication of what he is doing.

Lock that lock, turn off the TV or better yet, using the parental
controls to lock out the channels he likes to watch.

Do you have anything that records sound, video?
Start a account of
the recordings you can make of him and post them.

Tell him now that you have a place to go to and you need to move
the bills into his name.

Tell him it will raise his credit rating (don't tell him that
it'll save yours if he decides to not pay anything) and see where
that leads to you getting out of the lease early, or at least off
the regular bills for the place.

As for his profession, I am sure he takes on new clients and has
a place where he trains them or he goes to their place.

and set up some phony appointments for him.
He'll never know and he will be out of your hair for a while too, as
he chases down these phony clients.

I hope this helps,

Roommate from Hades

Revenge Guy,

I happened upon your website a few days ago and it's brilliant! The
solutions that you had for bad roommates were ingenious.

I'm in college right now and my roommate (let's call her Lisa)
has been living with me for about a year. We were both on the same
organizations on campus and always on friendly terms, so I didn't
think twice about accepting her to be my roommate. This turned out
to be a HUGE mistake. At first, everything was fine. She has an
unofficial boyfriend/friend with benefits (I'll refer to him as
David) and would have him over every day, but we have separate
rooms, so I was fine with that.

After a few months, I came to the realization that David wasn't
just sleeping over – he had moved in. Lisa was constantly out with
her friends, so she would usually give David her keys (which is
against apartment rules) and he would stay in her room even over
long weekends when she went home to visit her family.

Oh, this is probably a good time to mention that Lisa's a big
slob. She's lazy, has David do her homework for her, and has decided
that she's not interested in getting a job after college, so she'll
live with her parents until someone marries her. I pay all the
bills, buy all the soap, toilet paper, cleaning stuff, etc., and am
the only person who does the chores. Lisa has gone behind David's
back several times with other guys and keeps him around because he
lives nearby and is more "convenient". David doesn't seem to respect
her very much – he's told me on more than 1 occasion that she's lazy
and stupid – but he still stays with her.

The final straw was when David started inviting his own friends
over to party at our apartment. These were strangers and since all
the furniture (couch, chairs, tables, even Lisa's bed) belong to me,
I was quite uneasy about it. When I asked Lisa to stop giving David
her keys, she threw a temper tantrum and ignored me for the next 2
months. The situation got progressively worse. Whenever I tried to
talk to her, she would send me threatening, insults emails. I came
home one day to find feces on one of the rugs. She finally told me
she was moving out, but not before trying to get me to give her
money to do so. She's gone home for the summer and is planning to
come down to our apartment later to move her stuff when her lease
officially ends. However, she met some random guy on craigslist and
decided to give him her keys and let him stay at the apartment till
her lease is up. That's not what angers me the most – I took an
inventory of the stuff in the kitchen and found out that she stole
several things from me.

I feel angered and hurt by how manipulative she is and how much
advantage she's taken of my kindness. I'd like to play a few small
pranks on her to make her move-out a hassle and just give her an
idea of how much stress she's been causing me this whole year. Her
dad's coming up to help her move – she has her parents wrapped
around her little finger, so I don't think they'd believe me if I
told them she's been sleeping around with other guys (they're very
devout Christians). I like your Liquid Ass idea, but there's not
enough time for me to buy it and also, she's crammed most of her
stuff into her room where the random guy is staying, so even if I
had any nasty-smelling liquid, I probably wouldn't be able to use

Revenge Guy, please give me some feedback, I'm running out of
ideas (and time)!

Revenge JokerHi

It's condom time!

Buy a couple of boxes and stash them in everything she owns,
hell, leave some in her bed so they fall out as her parents pack up
her bedding.

Use to leave
a lot of "boyfriend/date" messages on her parents phone, I'm sure
they will be amused. Do that randomly for months.

Do what you can to mess up her stuff, hell, she had a stranger in
her bed and an FWB for months. fake some doctor notes and print
them, stuff them in her drawer chest, maybe test results for various
std's. LOL

Get her!!
Best wishes,

%d bloggers like this: