Revenge Guy Gets Roommates

The Revenge GuyRoommate Revenge From
The Revenge Guy

Need a little help getting even with roommates that have done you

Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need
to help you get even and regain your stature as an important person.

Dude Kicks Me Out For No Reason! Read

Revenge Guy,

So I had a kind of altercation last night and I’m not sure what to do
about it.

I’m in college, and my ex-roommate was kind of a weird kid. I’d go
out every night, he’d stay in and play computer games, I’d invite girls
over, I’ve never even seen him talk to one, etc.

I wasn’t a bad roommate.

Last night though I went to a party with 2 friends at the house he
apparently lives in now. Everything was cool until he ran up and
attacked us, pushing, shoving, throwing punches etc.

We couldn’t do anything because it was his house. We had to leave,
and it was embarrassing.

We literally didn’t do anything, just walked up like everyone else.
I’ve never been booted from a party before, it hurts.

What can we do to… I dunno… Send this guy a message or something?
We’d like to think we’re not dudes you mess around with.

-Some college dudes

Revenge JokerHi

Well, that’s quite bizarre, I have to tell you.

I guess he really didn’t like you much as a roommate but he should still
respect you as a person.

I think posting some “Party Here” posters will get even with him. Draw
them up, print them out and spear them around, let him deal with the

Make sure the party is a “Midnight – Come As You Are” type party… send
me pics!

Dear Revenge Guy,

My roommate in my apartment in psychotic, and that is no lie.

Basically, she has
to have everything HER way. She has 3 credit cards with mommy and
daddy’s names on them, and refuses to clean anything because at home
she doesn’t have to.

When me and my
other normal roommate confronted her, she went ballistic and told
people we personally attacked her… all I said was that she needs
to stop being so manipulative and help out around the apartment and
stop talking trash behind our backs.

Since then, she has
gone out of her way to make our lives a living hell-this girl is
BEASTLY, built like a man (she’s on the women’s soccer team here)
and she told all her little soccer buddies that we’re basically two
satans in disguise.

On top of that, she
has previously admitted (when we were still on speaking terms) that
she hates homosexuals, would rather have a "Retarded" baby than a
"gay" baby, and that she doesn’t need a job because her parents told
her that her job is to be a kid… um, HELLO, she is 20?!!?!?!

Basically, revenge
is needed. badly. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me. You’re my only hope
with this one!
Sincerely, Anna

Revenge JokerDear

Stop cleaning up after her. Get a pad of sticky notes
and write her name on them. On every dish, every mess, attach a
sticky with her name and the date on it and take a picture.

Take lots of pictures.

Pick a website to post them up on… FaceBook, MySpace, Fotolog,

Once you have enough photos, send the website address to her
parents. Mind you, they’re probably glad just to have her out of the
Send the website address to her family and parent’s friends. Friends
of hers. Who ever you can think of.

And move.

Get your name off of the lease and move.

Why would you want to make a bad situation worse when you’re still
stuck living with her?

Seriously, you need to cover yourself and get out of a bad

Revenge isn’t the answer here, email me when you’re moving out.

Until then hold your ground, get everything in writing concerning
her, receipts for all bill payments…. cover your ass, basically.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I’m desperately in need of your help as someone has been really
hurtful to me and I cant take anymore.

I moved into a
house with five other people in June last year. Everything was going
fine, although a couple of the lads are very prone to practical
jokes. They have done a few things in the past that have upset a few
of the others but what they have done to me is really horrible.

I went to visit my
boyfriend for the weekend and upon my return, found that they had
been in my room. They had corrupted some files on my personal
computer, smashed a precious ornament, cut off my bike lock and
perhaps the worst – they got hold of some books I had been left by
my father who sadly passed away last year and ripped out pages from
them. These books were quite valuable editions, not to mention the
emotional attachment.

They didn’t say
anything until I found out by going through my stuff after I found
my bike lock and ornament. Then when confronted, they mumbled
apologies but really don’t care at all. This has destroyed me, as
they were the only things I had from my father and I don’t know what
to do. I’m going to move out as soon as I can but I have signed a
tenancy agreement till early next year.

please please help me, its hurt me so much and i need revenge.

Revenge JokerDear

Revisit the tenancy agreement and possibly find a
clause that will allow you to break the lease legally because of the
behavior of these asses.

Follow that up with the landlord and make a formal complaint to the

And prepare a small claims suit against them. Visit your local court
house and get the info you need to file a claim.
Don’t let these jerks get away with anything.

And get lock boxes, door locks and a hidden video camera in your
room now!
Go legal and make these little boys pay a manly price!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I live in a house with three other single guys. Our house has been
around for several years. When one guy moves out, we have always
found another to move in. It had always been a great place to live
because the rent is much more affordable than getting your own
apartment, and you also have much more space with more social life.
I’m the one with the most seniority in the house, so responsibility
for managing the communal bills and issues defaulted to me.

We took in a new
guy a few months ago when another roommate moved out. He came
recommended by one of our existing roommates and two other friends
of mine. He’s also the youngest guy out of the four. For some
reason, he’s felt the need to bully us around the entire time living
in the house. One of the guys sided with him, and the other sided
with me, so there are two distinct factions in the house now. This
guy show signs of hypochondria and paranoia, and he acts very
impulsively with most of his anger directed towards me. I’ve tried
to analyze his bizarre behavior, and I think it’s because I don’t
let him rule the house the way he wants. I’ve stood up to him the
whole time because I feel his motivations are power-driven and not
for the sake of a fair household.

Specifically, he’s
been late with his rent payments and blames it on me for not
reminding him enough. I had to cover the late fee for him. He is the
messiest person in the house and makes demands that we have to clean
up his mess for him. For a month and half after his move-in, he left
hundreds of his boxes throughout every room of the house and blamed
us for not “clearing the way” to help him unpack them. He repeatedly
accuses me in particular of stealing his things when really he is
just plain paranoid. He’s even gone into my room before and stolen
my things. He’s gotten us on bad terms with the leasing agent
because he threatens them, as well. He never even paid his security
deposit and never wanted to sign the lease. I would have made him
sign it before, but the agent didn’t have his name on it in time for
his move-in. Every time he talks or emails me, his tone is psychotic
and threatening.

How do I get him to pay for everything
he owes, and how do I make it clear to him that he’s never been the
boss? Up until now I have opposed any action he takes to assert
control over us. He’s ultimately responded by announcing his
move-out, and he’s taken the other roommate with him. He feels that
if he can’t be in control in the house, no one can. This is causing
me and other roommate to move out as well because we just don’t want
to deal with finding new roommates now. It’s just that the move-out
process itself is so aggravating, and I still have so much
unfinished business with him remaining.

Revenge JokerDear

It’s too bad this jerk wants to destroy your life. But
you let things get out of hand right from the start. And you know
that already. Enough admonishments from me.

Since he hasn’t moved out yet, and it’s likely that he’ll be the
last one out to cause some damage and left-over grief for you and
the other roommate, I suggest that you get the rental agent over, on
your last day there, and take lots of pictures. Yes, it’s CYA (Cover
Your Ass) time.

As for the unfinished business, leave this ass to self-destruct on
his own.

Once he’s found a place to move into, give that owner/rental agent a
call and let them know who they have living there. One late payment
and he’ll be on the street again unless he’s rooming with another
wussy that will bail him out.

This ass’s mommy should be proud, she raised bully, an idiot, and a
scared little boy who can’t clean up after himself, all in one.

Of course you could always stuff some cheddar cheese wrapped in
plastic wrap into his furniture. That’ll bring a nice smell after a
couple of weeks to his things. Back of dressers, under stereos, in
not too often worn shoes. Any little cubby spot you can think of.
Cheese, milk, apples, pears… you get the idea.

Next time, get it all in writing, everything signed, and journal all
payments of everything. Get receipts. CYA always. Roommates are only
cool if they’re clean, clean up after themselves, share cleaning and
shopping responsibilities and finally, you need to ask for and get
receipts for everything, all payments made that concerns you and
your roommate.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have a really irritating roommate.

There are four of us in our
house, and she thinks that she owns the place. She doesn’t clean her
dishes, instead she fills the sink with water, puts them in and
assumes somebody else will do them for her. She doesn’t have a job,
so instead of getting one, she ‘borrows’ food from the rest of us.
She has gotten a dog, which is strictly in violation of our lease.

She repeatedly had
mid-week parties that last until four am. This is a big problem for
me, because I start work at 5 am. I have tried being really loud in
the morning, but she seems to sleep right through it. I also don’t
think that it is fair to wake my other roommates up early just
because she is inconsiderate. I am going to tell the landlord about
the dog, but would like to do something that would make up for all
the sleep I have lost due to her selfishness.

Revenge JokerDear

I’d wait until the last few days of your roommate
living there. Then I’d start adding things to the food you leave
around that she eats.
Toothpaste inside Oreo cookies, extra salt mixed into the butter or
margarine, orange juice made with salt, Any type of food, you can
booby-trap. Since she’s not really supposed to be eating it, the
blame is simply hers, right?

And she’s not being fair having people over to party when others
need to work. I bet this is her first place and first taste of
freedom. She’s too stupid to realize that even freedom has rules.

So I’d get your roommates together and write down everything she’s
done since she lived with you:
Stealing food;

And I’d send that to her next landlord, the day after she moves in.

If you want to keep roommates tame, you have to have them sign a
behavior contract before they move in. This way they know what is
allowed and what isn’t. If you don’t then whatever they do is on

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

Your my new hero!
I need some advice. I had this roommate who moved out about 2 weeks
ago and she still owes me money for the bills. I can’t get a hold of
her and as it turns out, she gave me 2 numbers so that I could reach
her, one of them isn’t even hers anymore. She won’t respond to the
message that she has received from the remaining numbers that does
work-it belongs to her new roommate.

It is not a lot of
money that she owes, but I am angry and I need the little money that
it is. She knows this and wont get back to me. I don’t have her new
address or anything, but I do have some possessions of hers and some
of her mail.
I have emailed her and I still haven’t got my money! What do you
think that I should do?
A fan,

Revenge JokerDear

You give her one more message:
Pay me back or I sell your stuff to recoup my money.
You also write this in a letter and send it registered mail to the
address she gave you. Or place a newspaper classified ad with the
same in it.
Be sure to include the dates in the letter: the date you wrote/sent
it and the date you’re going to dispose of her property.

This is a legal method of recovery, and the registered letter is a
legal notice to her. Any property that is left behind is deemed
"abandoned" and is yours to do with as you will once the registered
letter has been sent out and there is no response (allow 10 days
after you send the letter).

And money that is still owing after you have sold her stuff is
something you should go to small claims court for.

Don’t let her off easy. If she wants to run with money owing, make
her pay the full legal price.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

need some suggestions, I have a bitch of a roommate and she is
bailing on the lease and taking her sofa but leaving cat hair and
filth behind.

I need a couple
subtle tricks for her that i could to to her sofa or other stuff
that will linger with her or even better stay forever. Any ideas
would be greatly appreciated.

Revenge JokerDear

What I’d suggest is take a good look at the sofa.
Does it have a deep back pocket, under the cushions?
Does it have a wooden frame and a cover stapled to the bottom?
Do the cushions have a zipper?

You could easily stick something inside the sofa as a smelly time
One thing that works great is:
Get yourself small snack size ziplock baggies. Fill them halfway
with milk, sour cream, anything dairy. Seal them well.
Stick them into the cushions, in the bottom of the sofa, you get the
idea. After a week or two these baggies will curdle, explode and
smell awful.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have this roommate that insists he doesn’t have to clean up after himself
and I always end up washing his dishes, picking up his clothes and stuff
like that. Most of
the time I feel like his maid instead of his roommate. What can I do to
get even with him, in a way that won’t make me have double the cleanup to
Bob in New York

Revenge JokerDear Bob,
First of all, stop being pushed around. Geesh, looking for a new roommate
would be on the top of my list and that’s what I suggest you threaten to
do, but do it quietly. Get yourself a notepad and write down several
versions of a newspaper ad you’d like to place looking for the perfect
roommate. List all the things this current guy does wrong and add them
into your ad. Then leave your ad lying around, the bathroom is a good
place for this since it’s very likely to be seen there. Be sure to have
the local newspaper name and classified phone number on the top of the
page. Your crappy roommie should get the idea and likely confront you
about this at which time you can talk about the problems you are having in
an adult manner. If he doesn’t get the idea in a few days, hell, go ahead
and place the ad and give this loser notice to move.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

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