Revenge Guy Gets Roommates

Revenge Guy Gets Roommates

The Revenge Guy

Need a little help getting even with roommates that have done you wrong?

Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need to help you get even and regain your stature as an important person.

Dude Kicks Me Out For No Reason! Read on…


Hi
Revenge Guy,

So I had a kind of altercation last night and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I’m in college, and my ex-roommate was kind of a weird kid. I’d go out every night, he’d stay in and play computer games, I’d invite girls over, I’ve never even seen him talk to one, etc.

I wasn’t a bad roommate.

Last night though I went to a party with 2 friends at the house he apparently lives in now. Everything was cool until he ran up and attacked us, pushing, shoving, throwing punches etc.

We couldn’t do anything because it was his house. We had to leave, and it was embarrassing.

We literally didn’t do anything, just walked up like everyone else. I’ve never been booted from a party before, it hurts.

What can we do to… I dunno… Send this guy a message or something? We’d like to think we’re not dudes you mess around with.

Thanks!
-Some college dudes

Revenge JokerHi
Dudes,

Well, that’s quite bizarre, I have to tell you.

I guess he really didn’t like you much as a roommate but he should still respect you as a person.

I think posting some “Party Here” posters will get even with him. Draw them up, print them out and spear them around, let him deal with the crowd.

Make sure the party is a “Midnight – Come As You Are” type party… send me pics!
Cheers!
RG



Dear Revenge Guy,

My roommate in my apartment in psychotic, and that is no lie.

Basically, she has to have everything HER way. She has 3 credit cards with mommy and daddy’s names on them, and refuses to clean anything because at home she doesn’t have to.

When me and my other normal roommate confronted her, she went ballistic and told people we personally attacked her… all I said was that she needs to stop being so manipulative and help out around the apartment and stop talking trash behind our backs.

Since then, she has gone out of her way to make our lives a living hell-this girl is BEASTLY, built like a man (she’s on the women’s soccer team here) and she told all her little soccer buddies that we’re basically two satans in disguise.

On top of that, she has previously admitted (when we were still on speaking terms) that she hates homosexuals, would rather have a "Retarded" baby than a "gay" baby, and that she doesn’t need a job because her parents told her that her job is to be a kid… um, HELLO, she is 20?!!?!?!

Basically, revenge
is needed. badly. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me. You’re my only hope with this one!
Sincerely, Anna

Revenge JokerDear
Anna,

Stop cleaning up after her. Get a pad of sticky notes and write her name on them. On every dish, every mess, attach a sticky with her name and the date on it and take a picture.

Take lots of pictures.

Pick a website to post them up on… FaceBook, MySpace, Fotolog, where-ever.

Once you have enough photos, send the website address to her parents. Mind you, they’re probably glad just to have her out of the house.
Send the website address to her family and parent’s friends. Friends of hers. Who ever you can think of.

And move.

Get your name off of the lease and move.

Why would you want to make a bad situation worse when you’re still stuck living with her?

Seriously, you need to cover yourself and get out of a bad situation.

Revenge isn’t the answer here, email me when you’re moving out.

Until then hold your ground, get everything in writing concerning her, receipts for all bill payments…. cover your ass, basically.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

I’m desperately in need of your help as someone has been really hurtful to me and I cant take anymore.

I moved into a house with five other people in June last year. Everything was going fine, although a couple of the lads are very prone to practical jokes. They have done a few things in the past that have upset a few of the others but what they have done to me is really horrible.

I went to visit my boyfriend for the weekend and upon my return, found that they had been in my room. They had corrupted some files on my personal computer, smashed a precious ornament, cut off my bike lock and perhaps the worst – they got hold of some books I had been left by my father who sadly passed away last year and ripped out pages from them. These books were quite valuable editions, not to mention the emotional attachment.

They didn’t say anything until I found out by going through my stuff after I found my bike lock and ornament. Then when confronted, they mumbled apologies but really don’t care at all. This has destroyed me, as they were the only things I had from my father and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to move out as soon as I can but I have signed a tenancy agreement till early next year.

please please help me, its hurt me so much and i need revenge.
Thanks,
Joyce

Revenge JokerDear
Joyce,

Revisit the tenancy agreement and possibly find a clause that will allow you to break the lease legally because of the behavior of these asses.

Follow that up with the landlord and make a formal complaint to the police.

And prepare a small claims suit against them. Visit your local court house and get the info you need to file a claim.
Don’t let these jerks get away with anything.

And get lock boxes, door locks and a hidden video camera in your room now!
Go legal and make these little boys pay a manly price!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

I live in a house with three other single guys. Our house has been around for several years. When one guy moves out, we have always found another to move in. It had always been a great place to live because the rent is much more affordable than getting your own apartment, and you also have much more space with more social life. I’m the one with the most seniority in the house, so responsibility for managing the communal bills and issues defaulted to me.

We took in a new guy a few months ago when another roommate moved out. He came recommended by one of our existing roommates and two other friends of mine. He’s also the youngest guy out of the four. For some reason, he’s felt the need to bully us around the entire time living in the house. One of the guys sided with him, and the other sided with me, so there are two distinct factions in the house now. This guy show signs of hypochondria and paranoia, and he acts very impulsively with most of his anger directed towards me. I’ve tried to analyze his bizarre behavior, and I think it’s because I don’t let him rule the house the way he wants. I’ve stood up to him the whole time because I feel his motivations are power-driven and not for the sake of a fair household.

Specifically, he’s
been late with his rent payments and blames it on me for not reminding him enough. I had to cover the late fee for him. He is the messiest person in the house and makes demands that we have to clean up his mess for him. For a month and half after his move-in, he left hundreds of his boxes throughout every room of the house and blamed us for not “clearing the way” to help him unpack them. He repeatedly accuses me in particular of stealing his things when really he is just plain paranoid. He’s even gone into my room before and stolen my things. He’s gotten us on bad terms with the leasing agent because he threatens them, as well. He never even paid his security deposit and never wanted to sign the lease. I would have made him sign it before, but the agent didn’t have his name on it in time for his move-in. Every time he talks or emails me, his tone is psychotic and threatening.

How do I get him to pay for everything he owes, and how do I make it clear to him that he’s never been the boss? Up until now I have opposed any action he takes to assert control over us. He’s ultimately responded by announcing his move-out, and he’s taken the other roommate with him. He feels that if he can’t be in control in the house, no one can. This is causing me and other roommate to move out as well because we just don’t want to deal with finding new roommates now. It’s just that the move-out process itself is so aggravating, and I still have so much unfinished business with him remaining.
Burt

Revenge JokerDear Burt,
It’s too bad this jerk wants to destroy your life. But you let things get out of hand right from the start. And you know that already. Enough admonishments from me.

Since he hasn’t moved out yet, and it’s likely that he’ll be the last one out to cause some damage and left-over grief for you and the other roommate, I suggest that you get the rental agent over, on your last day there, and take lots of pictures. Yes, it’s CYA (Cover Your Ass) time.

As for the unfinished business, leave this ass to self-destruct on his own.

Once he’s found a place to move into, give that owner/rental agent a call and let them know who they have living there. One late payment and he’ll be on the street again unless he’s rooming with another wussy that will bail him out.

This ass’s mommy should be proud, she raised bully, an idiot, and a scared little boy who can’t clean up after himself, all in one.

Of course you could always stuff some cheddar cheese wrapped in plastic wrap into his furniture. That’ll bring a nice smell after a couple of weeks to his things. Back of dressers, under stereos, in not too often worn shoes. Any little cubby spot you can think of. Cheese, milk, apples, pears… you get the idea.

Next time, get it all in writing, everything signed, and journal all payments of everything. Get receipts. CYA always. Roommates are only cool if they’re clean, clean up after themselves, share cleaning and shopping responsibilities and finally, you need to ask for and get receipts for everything, all payments made that concerns you and your roommate.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

I have a really irritating roommate.

There are four of us in our house, and she thinks that she owns the place. She doesn’t clean her dishes, instead she fills the sink with water, puts them in and assumes somebody else will do them for her. She doesn’t have a job, so instead of getting one, she ‘borrows’ food from the rest of us. She has gotten a dog, which is strictly in violation of our lease.

She repeatedly had mid-week parties that last until four am. This is a big problem for me, because I start work at 5 am. I have tried being really loud in the morning, but she seems to sleep right through it. I also don’t think that it is fair to wake my other roommates up early just because she is inconsiderate. I am going to tell the landlord about the dog, but would like to do something that would make up for all the sleep I have lost due to her selfishness.
Thanks,
Helen

Revenge JokerDear Helen,
I’d wait until the last few days of your roommate living there. Then I’d start adding things to the food you leave around that she eats.
Toothpaste inside Oreo cookies, extra salt mixed into the butter or margarine, orange juice made with salt, Any type of food, you can booby-trap. Since she’s not really supposed to be eating it, the blame is simply hers, right?

And she’s not being fair having people over to party when others need to work. I bet this is her first place and first taste of freedom. She’s too stupid to realize that even freedom has rules.

So I’d get your roommates together and write down everything she’s done since she lived with you:
Stealing food;
Parties;
Whatever.

And I’d send that to her next landlord, the day after she moves in.

If you want to keep roommates tame, you have to have them sign a behavior contract before they move in. This way they know what is allowed and what isn’t. If you don’t then whatever they do is on you.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

Your my new hero!
I need some advice. I had this roommate who moved out about 2 weeks ago and she still owes me money for the bills. I can’t get a hold of her and as it turns out, she gave me 2 numbers so that I could reach her, one of them isn’t even hers anymore. She won’t respond to the message that she has received from the remaining numbers that does work-it belongs to her new roommate.

It is not a lot of
money that she owes, but I am angry and I need the little money that it is. She knows this and wont get back to me. I don’t have her new address or anything, but I do have some possessions of hers and some of her mail.
I have emailed her and I still haven’t got my money! What do you think that I should do?
A fan,
Nina

Revenge JokerDear
Nina,

You give her one more message:
Pay me back or I sell your stuff to recoup my money.
You also write this in a letter and send it registered mail to the address she gave you. Or place a newspaper classified ad with the same in it.
Be sure to include the dates in the letter: the date you wrote/sent it and the date you’re going to dispose of her property.

This is a legal method of recovery, and the registered letter is a legal notice to her. Any property that is left behind is deemed "abandoned" and is yours to do with as you will once the registered letter has been sent out and there is no response (allow 10 days after you send the letter).

And money that is still owing after you have sold her stuff is something you should go to small claims court for.

Don’t let her off easy. If she wants to run with money owing, make her pay the full legal price.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy



Dear Revenge Guy,

I
need some suggestions, I have a bitch of a roommate and she is bailing on the lease and taking her sofa but leaving cat hair and filth behind.

I need a couple subtle tricks for her that i could to to her sofa or other stuff that will linger with her or even better stay forever. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Regards
Roomie

Revenge JokerDear
Roomie,

What I’d suggest is take a good look at the sofa.
Does it have a deep back pocket, under the cushions?
Does it have a wooden frame and a cover stapled to the bottom?
Do the cushions have a zipper?

You could easily stick something inside the sofa as a smelly time bomb.
One thing that works great is:
Get yourself small snack size ziplock baggies. Fill them halfway with milk, sour cream, anything dairy. Seal them well.
Stick them into the cushions, in the bottom of the sofa, you get the idea. After a week or two these baggies will curdle, explode and smell awful.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy


Dear Revenge Guy,
I have this roommate that insists he doesn’t have to clean up after himself and I always end up washing his dishes, picking up his clothes and stuff like that. Most of the time I feel like his maid instead of his roommate. What can I do to get even with him, in a way that won’t make me have double the cleanup to do?
Bob in New York

Revenge JokerDear Bob,
First of all, stop being pushed around. Geesh, looking for a new roommate would be on the top of my list and that’s what I suggest you threaten to do, but do it quietly. Get yourself a notepad and write down several versions of a newspaper ad you’d like to place looking for the perfect roommate. List all the things this current guy does wrong and add them into your ad. Then leave your ad lying around, the bathroom is a good place for this since it’s very likely to be seen there. Be sure to have the local newspaper name and classified phone number on the top of the page. Your crappy roommie should get the idea and likely confront you about this at which time you can talk about the problems you are having in an adult manner. If he doesn’t get the idea in a few days, hell, go ahead and place the ad and give this loser notice to move.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

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