Parking Issues In Front of My House

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I bought a house in a tract home community, I have been living here 8 years pretty much trouble free for 7 of those years.

I knew my neighbors, they were all respectful and we all got along. Then the neighbor next door moved. A leasing company bought the house and now there are 5 adults living in the house next door. One of them has a regular vehicle and a work vehicle. They regularly have a boyfriend or girlfriend come and stay with them also. Making a grand total of no less than FIVE sometimes SEVEN (with the boyfriends) cars for this house! They park in front of my house every single day. SO now whenever my wife and I have a friend over, they have nowhere to park. I let it go for the first 4-5 months, thinking maybe this was just some temporary problem and it would all sort itself out. After 4-5 months, I realized this monstrosity was permanent.

I went next door to ask them politely (I really was polite) to park in their own driveway and in front of their own house. They live on the corner so they have access to 2 curbs for this purpose. She pretty much told me “you don’t own the street” and slammed the door in my face. I thought okay??? So I went to my car got in it and parked in front of her house, hoping this would sort of drive the point home that this is rude and also annoying. SHE CALLED THE COPS!! Seriously!! The cop told me I couldn’t park in front of her house because she has a stop sign within 10 feet and that I had no right to tell her not to park in front of MY HOUSE.

I thought to myself “Maybe I am being unreasonable.” So I started asking friends and long time clients and relatives if this was rude I also asked them if this would annoy them? ALL of them said pretty emphatically they thought it was rude and then conveyed their sympathy.

2 weeks later I get a knock on my door at 1:30 am. I go to the door and the cops are there. The policeman asked me “How many people live in this house?” I told him “Me my wife and 3 children.” He said go inside shut all the lights off get everyone up and come downstairs. We get downstairs to find 3 policemen on my porch with assault rifles aimed at the house next door. The policemen said we need to stay in the shadows, go to our driveway and take a left (opposite of my neighbors) and run in the that direction about 4 houses and get behind another home. Turns out the were called there because someone in that house had a gun and was threatening to harm himself.

About a month later I am outside mowing my lawn and a young man drives up in one of their cars and parks in front of my house. When the young man exited he starts working on the bumper of their clunker truck. Pulling off the rear bumper and other stuff. I hadn’t seen this guy before so I asked him “Do you think it’s rude to park in front of other peoples’ houses?” He said “Well your neighbor told me to park here.” I said ” She doesn’t live here, I do. Again do you think it’s rude to park continuously every single day in front of someone else’s house? ” He again said “She told me to!” I continued doing my lawn in disgust and finished it.

About 3 hours later the was a knock at my door. I open it up and there is another policeman standing at my door. He says “We got a call from your neighbor saying “He feels threatened by you.” He then goes on to reiterate that “You don’t own the street, and they can park there anytime they want.” I tried to explain to the policeman that I was not even remotely threatening to this guy, and that all I did was ask him if he though it was rude. ” He tells me “It’s not rude. If you don’t want people to park in front of your house you need to buy a large piece of land.”

I also found out later that one of the herd of people living next door works for dispatch, which explains the “Less than sympathetic” disposition of the police coming to my door.

I am seriously thinking of selling my house and moving. There are other regular life reasons, but partially because of this. I am desperate, please help.

The Revenge GuyHi,
Yup, neighbors can be real jerks…. but I’d be more worried about the safety of your family than anything else.

Tell me, what do you know about these people? Anything that you can use against them? It’s hard to deal with such assholes, especially when it’s in your front yard so you’re the first suspect if anything goes weird or wrong.

Check the bylaws for your street, see if there are regular parking regulations, like how long they can be there in front of your street. maybe call a city councillor and start complaining. Some type of official noise might work, or it might backfire badly.

Yeah, I might move…. or bide my time to take them down. Fake parking tickets. Oil stains in the street. Broken glass… Make it interesting anyways.

Good luck!

They Owe Me Money

The Revenge Guy

Friggin' deadbeats.

The trick is easy. Because it's you. Sure, they seemed to be a friend. They were nice but always in some kind of trouble. They never had a good paying job.

Just scraped by. It's a good thing you were there when they were in need of a loan. But you didn't think enough to get them to sign a paper saying you loaned them the money.

Now they won't pay you back. What's a person to do?
Read on….
[RG note: Always, always, get loans in writing!]

When you're a good friend and loan a friend some money, then don't get paid back… ouch! Read on…

Hi Revenge Guy,

Well, I am another person who has gotten screwed….

I loaned a friend of mine 2K almost 3 months ago. I did have him sign a promissory note. He said he would pay me back in 2 weeks. I have several text message from him saying he was going to pay me blah, blah, blah… I have come to realize that he is a con and now I am not sure what to do.

Small claims court is $400.00 (ouch!) His cell phone is no longer working, I just found out that the house he lives/lived in is not even owned by him… Lie after lie….

We do have some of the same friends and I plan on opening the can of worms on him this weekend. I was wondering if I could file a police report on him. I live in New Orleans, LA and If I can file a police report, what good does it do me? I am considering sending my loss to a collection agency as they only take money from what is collected. Please advise…..


Revenge JokerHi money-bags–not,
Confrontation only works when the person is afraid of being outed in front of others. So feel free to try it but watch your back! Snakes often try to bite when scared into something they weren't prepared for.

Start with some small talk with your mutual friends, see if they have had similar experiences with him.

Then the outing, say it ;like it's just a thought that popped into your head like "Oh, by the way John, your check is due for the 2k I loaned you… do you have it with you yet?"

No matter what, don't accept any promises, this was his chance to make immediate payment.

Monday, send it to a collection agency. You'll lose more than the $400.00 but you'll be more certain of getting paid.

It's terrible when you help a friend out and do all the right things like getting a promissory note, and you still get screwed. So screw back!
Good luck,

Dear Revenge Guy,
About 10 months ago I lent some friends from out of state $2000.00. The loan was for their mortgage and car payment. The one friend "Tina" I have known for over 10 years. Her new husband "Tommy" was the one that convinced me that they were good for it. And "Tommy" told me he did not want to ask "Tina’s" parents, because it was embarrassing.

"Tina" guaranteed they were good for it. Besides, they own a house in a lake community, have a boat, large screen plasma t.v, both have good jobs, blah blah blah.

So, they kept giving me the runaround forever.

Kept telling me they had checks in the mail, only for me to send off MY bills thinking that I was going to receive their check. Which I never did! And had late fees on bills too.

I’d call and call and call for weeks until one of them would answer and say they were sorry sorry sorry, they have had a bad financial situation and never got my messages. Yea right. I finally decided, enough was enough. I gave them an ultimatum and the time came and passed. What is your suggestion?
Thanks X 1000!

Revenge JokerHi

I certainly hope that you got this loan in writing. Then sue them.
They know to ignore you to easily avoid you, so make a legal case out of this.

If you don’t have the loan in writing now is the time to do it. Or get a recording of them on the phone agreeing to make payments.

Then send them a polite letter with repayment terms spelled out on it. You’re starting over to collect your money, etc…

Get their signatures on it and try to start collecting again.

Once they miss their payments again then you will have a legal basis to sue them and ruin their credit rating, should they have one left. It’s true though, people that make a lot of money spend even more, no savings, nothing to fall back on except for friends that make a lot less but have money in the bank.

Teach them a legal and financial lesson, that is what you must do.

It may mean waiting a little longer for your money, but the option is kissing it goodbye forever.
Not a great choice of options here.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I’ll tell u the whole story if it means you can give me some direct help!

This past February I was briefly involved with this guy. It was very whirlwind! He convinced me to invest some money… it was $1000. Afterward he said he had a "car accident" and I didn’t hear from him again. I called and called and I finally got him. He told me he was in the hospital. I got soft and felt sorry for him. Then he stopped answering my calls. I got a friend to call and guess what… he called her back (of course I heard).

Anyways, I put in a police report which they said I had to ask for a "demand for payment". I e-mailed this to him because I didn’t know his address (and he doesn’t know my exact one either). He called back and denied the whole thing and said it’s my word against his… I called him several times and it will look like harassment on my part.

I had the receipt of the withdrawal but the police said I can’t prove anything because it was freely given and I did not make him sign a receipt.

So you see revengeguy, I have no other recourse but to plan revenge so that I can get this out of my system and move on!

Help me please to do this in the most effective and final way!

Hey the other information I do have on him is his e-mail, his cell number and his license place number… tell me how I can use these in my revenge!
Thank you in advance!

Revenge JokerHi

I feel your anguish!!

First with his email, (don’t do these things from your home/work computer go to your local library or an internet café!) place some online ads for stuff for sale cheap, roommates wanted, gay sex, whatever you can think up.

Include his email, and his cell phone number so he gets a lot of calls.
Put up posters too, around places like grocery stores, wherever they allow public [postings. Create posters of work needed, roommates wanted, whatever you like.
Just keep his cell phone really busy.

After a while, since time has passed already… call him … start off with "Hey, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you (be friendly, that will make him drop his guard) …" and go from there. Casually mention the money you loaned him… all he has to do is agree that he loaned you the money because you can record the call, you now have proof to sue him for the money, have the police take action, everything you need to complete your revenge.

You’ll get your thousand dollars back by his torture and need to change his number!! Or by suing him and having the court take the money from him!!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

How do you get revenge on someone who owes you money, and they know it, but refuse to pay you back?

Thank you!


Revenge JokerHi Jenn,
The best way is to send them a letter that says PAY ME and add a few dollars to what they owe you.
If they owe you $200.00, in the letter say it’s $500.00
If they owe you $2,000.00 make it $2,800.00

Along with the letter include an envelope that is already addressed to you, complete with stamp. Most people will write back and say it’s not $2,800.00 I owe you, it’s only $2,000.00.
Then you have a legal debtors note that you can use to sue them in court.

Otherwise, hassle them with letters, phone calls, emails, until they somehow respond with an email or recorded message that you can also take to court.

You’ll need to be tricky to get the evidence to sue them, but that’s the right way to go.

Good luck!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
So I am INCREDIBLY angry right now.

I loaned (who I considered a good friend) $3200 in October of this past year because he had just lost his source of income and couldn’t pay his bills and his final month’s rent. We signed a promissory note, and he promised to pay me back in a month (Nov. of 2006.)

Long story short, he continued to jerk me around. He paid $1000 a few months ago, but still owes me $2200. I finally threatened to take him to court and he is supposedly sending me a check tomorrow, plus any late fees, but we’ll have to see about that.

During this 6 month expanse of time, he supposedly didn’t have the money to pay me back, yet still managed to find the money to vacation to not only the Virgin Islands, but Puerto Rico as well… and plans on taking a trip next month to Germany. He also owns a Rolex. He obviously isn’t lacking money, just the decency to pay me back what he owes.

He’s socially awkward but thinks he’s impressive because he has money and uses the internet to meet girls because he lacks the social skills to meet them under normally (face to face.) I want SERIOUS revenge.
Got anything inspirational in mind? :)

Revenge JokerHi,
Honestly, if the next check is bad, head straight away to the courthouse and sue him!

After that, I’m not sure what to do because of the lack of details.
Does he work? Play? Hang out regularly somewhere?
We you romantically linked?

Can you find him online and set up him with a bunch of fake dates?
(Hehe, if you could then I’d have a message waiting for him at the date place saying “Changed my mind about dating you LOSER!”)

Send him a letter seemingly from the Homeland Security Department
saying he’s been placed on the “No Fly List” and they want an interview with him.

You get the idea.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

So here it is:
I help these people out, down on their luck with giving them over 250 man hours of work at $10.00 per hour, move them into a great rental apartment with no security deposit (they have a kid and I felt so bad for them that I paid the deposit), offer them furniture, exercise equipment etc., and give them advice for everything they throw my way.

The owners sell the building they are living in and within 30 days the state comes and checks them out for child abuse and/or drug making. Not sure which, but I was more than surprised. I paid their security deposit for them, with the agreement they would make payments back to me.

Well upon the police jumping their home, they figure I called on them. Mind you, I have nothing to benefit, and truly, don’t think anything is going on. The new owner wanted them out, plain and simple. They had designs on the place. Now, they won’t talk with me – flat out told me to f*** off today, yet they got their security deposit back from the new owner (mind you, I paid it). I want to give it back to them. They know I didn’t do it, they just don’t want to pay the money back. What do you suggest?
Good Gal Made Mad

Revenge JokerDear
Good Gal,

Send them a letter stating that they owe you double the amount. Include an envelope that is already stamped and addressed to you.

When they right back with a letter that says what they really owe you, it’s all the evidence you need to go to court with.

Unless, of course, you already have such a document for the loan you made them.
Take then to small claims court.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
Okay, this revenge issue is twofold. Here’s the story. I have a friend, excuse me had a friend who’s name is Fred, and we dated for a while in the past and then I went away to school, but we stayed friends.

I moved back home and we kind of flirted but he was with someone so we just kept it platonic.

Anyway, he owns a liquor store, well he owns one and his family owns several, and he also does work on houses on the side. so anyway I was remodeling my house and I figured that he was the perfect person to do it. He ended up subcontracting the work for my kitchen to a friend of his.

His friend Julian is Hispanic and he did a beautiful job making me custom built oak cabinets. For almost a year I was paying my so-called friend money for the cabinets and nothing seemed to be getting done. Allegedly they were being worked on.

He probably got a total of $2,000 out of me. Then (I sell real estate) I closed a really big deal and decided that I was ready to move into my new house and I asked him how much it would cost in order for my basement to get finished and the kitchen cabinets.

He told me $6,700.00, labor and materials. I gave him the money. $1700 in cash, (Julian, the Hispanic guy allegedly only took cash, which I found out later wasn’t true) and I gave him a cashiers check made out to him ( Fred) for $5,000. Well anyway, a friend of his parents both died a week and a half apart and he went out of town for almost a month total to help his friend. When he came back his mom had heart surgery and one of his employees at his store was out of town so he was working nonstop. So I was trying to be understanding and patient.

Anyway, long story short he picks a fight with literally me for no reason one day and then we stop speaking while he has all my money. The kitchen got almost, almost done and I find out that he gave Julian a thousand dollars and never gave him any more money.

So now Julian is sweating me to pay him and Fred lied to him and told him that I never gave him any money at all. So Julian has a key to Fred’s house and he wanted us to talk to Fred together face to face, so we went over there. Fred lives in this loft above the bar that he owns, anyway, we go in and Fred sees us on the security camera so he refuses to get off the phone and talk to Julian because I am there.

Me and Julian go wait downstairs in the bar and I see that Fred’s car keys are on the other side of the bar out of the security camera’s view, so I take his keys, which go to his truck, the bar, the liquor stores, his kids mom’s house, his parents house, basically his whole life. So he calls me later asking if I have them and I say if he has my money I have his keys, but that he cant have them back until I get my money.

Well, my mom starts pressing me to give the keys back saying that I need to hot piss him off in case he does something to my house or my truck or whatever. So I go to his house and I give him the keys in exchange for a check for 3,000. He was allegedly going to give me the rest later.

And the next morning I go to the bank and the check is no good. So I go to the liquor store and he screams and yells at me and basically says, "fuck me" he’s not paying me.

So I’m sure by now you’re thinking sue him. well, the thing is, I was moving into my new house and I have no idea where my copy of the cashiers check is. I tried to go to the bank and get a copy and from looking through their books with a teller and a manager it appears that a whole batch of cashiers checks are missing including the ones that I wrote around that time. So I have nothing to go to court with.

Now I discussed this entire scenario with my two-faced cousin and I even thought about photo-shopping a new cashiers check and making a copy of it to take to court. (totally illegal I know) anyway, my cousin/ex-best friend has the audacity to call Fred and tell him that I lost the cashiers check. (she’s a slut I think she’s been trying to sleep with him) anyway, so he knows I don’t have the check and all I have is the bad check that he wrote me for $3,000. I looked at the website and I thought that nothing seemed fitting to cover almost $9,000.00 worth of revenge and I don’t have a case that will stand up in court. he has no grass, so I cant spell out thief in it and besides both his house and the liquor store are covered in cameras.

I thought about the coupon thing but their liquor store is like the ghetto type where they make a ton of money but they wouldn’t have the type of customers that would like complain to the BBB or anything they would just gripe and leave.

So now I’m screwed for an idea.

Revenge JokerHi,
First off, take a breath.

I’m sure you’ve been sweating this a bit but seriously, you sell real estate and didn’t have a contract with this guy, even if he was a friend?

And you paid him in advance for the whole job after he took a year to finish the first job you gave him to do?

Slow down and let’s get professional about this whole thing, OK?

First off:
You have the $3000.00 bad check.
Sue him over that.

As far as anything else, I’d just create a bunch of 50% off coupons for purchases at XXX liquor store and let him sweat that out.

And from now on, anything that includes any sum of money, get it in writing!!
And put that writing in your safety deposit box right away!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy


My name is Johnny and I have a long-time friend who’s been owing me quite a lot of money I lent him on several occasions for petrol about six months ago now.

He tells me he can’t afford it at the moment but then he soon spends the amount he owes me, or more, on a new set of brake discs for his car or something.

Quite frankly he’s been a bit of a knob since he got with his whore of a girlfriend anyway, I haven’t seen or heard anything from him for quite a while now and whenever I try getting hold of him he never bothers getting back to me, he only seems to bother with me when he wants something. I need to finally stand up for myself, how can I teach him not to take advantage of me again?


Revenge JokerHi

Just stand up for yourself.

The next time you see him hand him a written bill showing all the money he owes you and from when.

Have him sign it.

Then tell him to start paying you apportion of it every week or you’ll take him to small claims court.

To prove your case all you’ll need is the written note you now have.

And then stop taking his calls unless he has cash in hand.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

So I was working at this bed and breakfast on the weekends. It was very very very hard work, I was working 12 hour days with no breaks, and there was only one other employee.

After I had only worked there two weeks, she gave that employee two weekends off in a row, while she was at the hospital tending to a family matter, leaving me all by myself to run her b&b.

After 2 weeks of this and falling behind in my studies, I called on a week day and said, I'm really sorry but the work is just too hard for me and I wont be able to come back.

I called back on payday, she owed me 2 checks, one that she held back the first week, and my last weeks pay. She told me I'm not getting shit from her because I quit and I can go fuck myself.

Well since she paid me under the table, there is no way for me to prove that I worked for her at all. This happened a couple of weeks ago. This lady has a LOT of money by the way, and i worked my ass off for that lil money that she owes me.

To her, it means nothing, to me, it means the world. I literally have to skip school next week because I just don't have the gas money to make it there and back. This happened 2 weeks ago.

She runs a bed and breakfast in weatherford texas called angel's nest
She lives at the bed and breakfast she runs. Her name is Candice Dyer.

Her b&b is named Angel's Nest
The address is 1105 Palo Pinto St. Weatherford, TX 76086
Her business number is (817) 599-9600
Her cell phone number is 817-596-8295

I honestly just want my money back but that's not gonna happen. She has a quick temper and is easily riled. she thinks she is always right and treats customers shitty. I want her to lose lots of business, and I want her to know its because of me, but I don't want her to be able to file any charges on me.

I said a long time ago that I'm never gonna let anyone screw me over again. I have a 3 year old son and this bitch took away from him. I am suffering really bad because of the money that she owes me. it wont improve my LIFE to get revenge on her, but dammit she deserves it.

Revenge JokerHi B&B Worker,

You're right, you're in a bad place. Working for cash means you take the chance that you'll get screwed over for wages if something happened. And something happened.

You've got all the info. Call her and tell her that it would be awful if bad reviews of her place started showing up online. And to pay you or else.

You have the power! (And so do I!)
Best wishes,

Neighbors: When To Get Even

The Revenge Guy

Do you need a little help getting even with neighbors that have done you wrong? Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what you need to help you get even and regain your stature as a self-reliant, not to be messed with, person. You know, we've all had bad neighbors. Heck, when we were younger, when our parents were away, we were the bad neighbors. And revenge requires that certain steps are first taken before the 'getting even action' begins.

So here is RG's "Steps of Revenge Preparation"

— document everything in a journal, make notes of dates, times, events, everything, leave nothing out and write down your entries on the day they happen

— protect your family and property with video surveillance

— contact your local city council (residential condominium strata council if you live in such a development) and understand the bylaws as they pertain to your situation

These simple steps, although time consuming, are necessary to make any type of revenge successful.

I have learned, over all, that there are no "good" upstairs neighbors. After all, no one ever (as far as I can remember and I have the memory of an elephant) has complained about their downstairs neighbors. So, if you're in the position of having to move into a place that has upstairs and downstairs neighbors, be the person on top. Or I'm sure I'll hear from you soon enough.

Can I Beat The Neighbors At Their Own Game? Read on…

Hi Revenge Guy,
This is a fairly recent problem.

I have lived next door 6 years (houses are very close) to a fairly wealthy younger than me couple who have 5 children ranging from 1-12. They recently extended their already huge house to a more huge house.

A couple of times I have asked the kids to stop bashing on the fence early in the morning and once I knocked on their door because their dog had barked constantly for hours. So a couple of months ago their dog barked constantly until around 2.30am (the dog is locked in the pool area which is right next to my bedroom window).

Their bedrooms are all located on the other side front of their house. I got up at 2.30am and wrote a nice note saying "Neighbor, its 2.30am and your dog hasn’t stopped barking could you please do something about it". In response I received a 3 page extremely nasty letter, telling me to get ear plugs, about my boyfriend’s motor bike, about my mother cats etc., etc.

I went and spoke to them and thought I had sorted it out, maybe? I then get a visit from my neighbour’s across the road who tell me that their old busy body neighbour had come to tell them that my neighbour’s had given me some home truths in a letter. I was so upset that I started playing music (pretty loud but not late). I then get a visit from the police telling me my neighbour, who I obviously had a problem with, had complained and I needed to turn down my music (this was at 8.30pm by no means late). Ever since I think my neighhbour is trying to get me to sell and move, they have now installed a skate ramp right next to the fence next to my bedroom window. The fence seems to be used as the buffer.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m 50 I live with my 74 year old mother and we are both very quiet. What can I do, I’m just about to have a nervous breakdown. I need a revenge to get them back and something they can’t pin on me. Neighbor husband is an engineer. His wife is fat and ugly, she is a home breeder. We do not have the same friends and I don’t have their phone number but know their names.
-Very Tired Homeowner

Revenge JokerHi Tired,
You are in a difficult position, there’s no doubt of that but it is time to fight back, so to speak.

Start with talking to your neighbors about your troubles. Video tape the offenses these people are making and be sure you capture all of the noise. Share this with the neighbors that are on your side. You need help from them. Youtube too maybe?

Check out your city planning department, once you have this evidence, about what they might be able to help you with. Doesn’t their property tax go up with the improvements they have made? Everyone loves the tax man coming for a visit.

Talk to your local city representative, the more noise you make the more fuel you add to your righteous fire.

Contact the local animal authority as well, dogs barking in the middle of the night are bad news for everyone and there’s usually fines that go along with that.

Detail everything and finally call your local TV and newspapers – bad neighbors make great news stories, especially considering your mother’s age.

I wouldn’t worry about being found out, they’ve pretty much have a household out of control and everyone knows it, shame can be a great motivator to get your neighbors under control.


Dear Revenge Guy,
About 6 years ago we purchased a vacation home by the. Everyone there was nice. Except for this one family…

I need some advice on what to do with them. Here are a few stories on all of them:

1. The husband. He seems to feel he is a "Decision Maker" for everything.

An example would be with the road. All because his driveway dips down a bit, so it sometimes puddles there when it rains, made him have the town raise the road a few inches, which wasn't really all that bad. However, we have an in-ground pool close to the street with several expensive items around it, so we had to spend about $500 getting paneling so the next rain doesn't pile up in the road and wash everything away. Not to mention overflow the pool.

He has actually annoyed the whole town. Not to mention he has a criminal record.

Oh-one more thing. One of our good neighbors said he washes his cars in OUR DRIVEWAY when we're not around. He also parks his car in our driveway when we're not around. He also did something that made my car battery die. I truly hate him.

2.The wife-Sometimes annoying. Here is another story:

I've always had stray cats around my vacation home. I never want them to starve, so I feed them. There was this one cat who came every day. About 2 weeks later, I noticed that she had 2 small kittens. I noticed later that they lived under another neighbor's shed.

I planned to either adopt them or give them to a relative who's cat recently died.

Well guess what-after the wife found out we were feeding cats and that they lived next to them, I instantly knew by the way she acted that she was going to get them removed and probably killed.

They were not even on her property, and she still thinks she can get them taken killed!!!! She knew I was going to adopt them, but, still!!!!!! The nerve!!!!!!

I am, at the moment, arranging plans to report this to the authorities, but I haven't succeeded yet. I really hope I can adopt them! They are adorable!

3. The son:

He is somewhere in his thirties, and owns a small company that resells computers and other technological items to businesses.

When my computer broke, I decided to get one from him. It was good overall, but I needed something else. I left him a voicemail message telling him I wanted it.

What does he do?

He charges my credit card without verifying or asking me what I wanted in any way!!!!!!

One more thing-He charged us more than $100 more than it retails for, and raised it more than $50 than he said it sells for!!!!

I can't believe I was ripped off.

So, you see, I just can't live with these people in my neighborhood.

They're a menace to society!!!!! Sometimes I feel like taking a siren (I have a Federal Model A, for you siren fans) and setting it right off in they're yard!!!
Thank you,

Revenge JokerHi Paul,
Yes, you need to take matters into your own hands.

We’ll start from the last:

3. If he sold you a computer and charged your credit card without authorization you should have immediately (as soon as you found out) called the credit card company and had the charge reversed. If you don’t do this, who will look after your credit?

2. Call the authorities… don’t jump top conclusions, all that does is raise the blood pressure.

1. Get a video surveillance system, they’re cheap enough.

Catch him in the act and call the police. AND, if your neighbors are talking about what he does in your driveway when you’re away, get them to take some pictures! Someone has to watch over your property when you’re not there! Make friends, watch each other’s backs!

And get the info and do all you legally can to this jerk.

You didn’t give me an idea of what you actually know about these people, names, jobs, phone numbers, address, etc…

If you have any of that, start a campaign of posters “For rent” around town with their place on it. Do the same with their phone number, a “moving sale” with cheaply priced furniture will get the calls coming for them.
Go get’em!

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have loud neighbors.

They have 3 Harley bikes I told them to please stop revving the bikes by my house.

Now they rev more. What can I do?


Revenge JokerHi,
The first thing I have to ask is:
Do you want to be friends or enemies with your neighbors?

Talk to them again about why the noise is disturbing. Thank them for keeping the noise to reasonable hours.

Talk to your other neighbors and have them also speak to the guys making the noise. Complaints are better when focused by a group rather than an individual.

Call the police and complain about the noise. Suggest that the motorcycles may be unlicensed, uninsured, hazardous drivers, and so on.
Keep a detailed journal of their comings and goings and the ensuing noise.
Talk to your neighbors and start a petition concerning noise control. Take the petition to your city councillor.

Call the police again.

Put up a fence and sue them for the cost of it.
Install video cameras or have one handy to record the noise and problems these neighbors are causing.

Keep the pressure up about their poor behavior. Keep neighbors and the police and city hall involved in your "loss of enjoyment of property". Call a lawyer and threaten to sue.

Threaten to sue your noisy neighbors.

Threaten to sue city hall for not enforcing noise bylaws.

Along the side of your property that abuts their property start storing garbage. Let the smell fester so that they won’t want to be outside anymore.
Park your car in the street, not in your driveway. Get them to drive around it.
Water your yard. A lot. Let the water flood the street. Let them drive through the mess.

Start outdoor parties for the local children. Offer free sodas, meet the kids parents. Keep the street busy during the usual noisy periods and force them to behave.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I love your website. I was hoping you could help me with my pain in the ass neighbor.

My wife and I have a cat that likes to walk through his back yard sometimes. Our yard is fenced but the cat just climbs over and likes to sit under a tree in his yard.

Our butthead neighbor has three dogs that chase my cat away. No big deal if the cats in his yard. However, this evening I caught him opening the front door to let his dog out so it could chase my cat out of our own front yard. This is the third time I caught him urging his dogs on my cat while he was in his own yard.

I called the S.P.C.A. and all they did is inform him that he can set a trap in his yard to catch my cat. I know he will set a trap and bait it with tuna.

If and when he catches my cat, and every other cat in the neighborhood, he will torture it and most likely kill him. What do you suggest I do?

I don’t want to keep my cat indoors all day, a prisoner in his own home.

By the way there is so much dog crap in his yard I can’t open my windows without the odor fumigating my entire house. Hope you can suggest something. I really hate this guy.

Revenge JokerHi Greg,
It’s a known fact that cats that are outdoor wander around. They dig in gardens, all that stuff. Generally they aren’t a nuisance as much as the people that complain about them.

I’d like to know why the SPCA told your neighbor to trap the cat after talking to you. That seems suspicious to me, unless the cat is destroying property I’m not sure someone is allowed to put out animal traps on their suburban property. You need to check your local bylaws about this.

You need to either decide that you have to keep the cat inside, or figure out a way to protect it outside.

As well, you need to take your complaints to city hall about your neighbor. It’s time to get the video camera out. Get video of the dogs misbehaving. Get video of the dog crap all over the place (a likely health hazard!). Get video of your idiot neighbor being a jerk. The more video evidence you have the better off you’ll be when this confrontation escalates. And get worse it will.

Of course, I’d also start throwing chunks of cheese over the fence for the dogs to eat. Old cheddar really messes with a dog’s poo. They get the runs and farts real bad. Just don’t get caught tossing it over.

And if your jerk neighbor does decide to put out traps, I’d start littering his yard in the middle of the night with dry cat food. Let him catch all the cats he wants until he’s so tired of dealing with them that he gives up, hehe.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I cannot seem to keep a car for very long because middle-age women in Chevy Blazers like to run stop signs and hit me.

A few months ago, I bought my first car, a cheap Honda Civic. Only after one month, a woman in a Chevy Blazer ran a stop sign and hit my car. I had a typical insurance battle, everything went smooth in the end with the decent amount for the car they gave me, and got myself a Ford Probe out of it.

This car was in excellent condition. I just had it for four months when, low and behold, another woman in a Chevy Blazer runs a stop sign and demolishes it. I got screwed out of $1000 by the insurance company, and am still mourning the loss of my "baby".

There was no damage to her car, and I am just furious that I have to suffer because of bad drivers. I am a college student (an art major if it matters), and therefore do not have money to hire a lawyer and such, or the time to deal with it besides at 3 in the morning, because of the fact I am a struggling working student.

I believe that she should have to pay for smashing my dream. The worst part is that I couldn’t get a rental car right away because I am under 21, which is the minimal age to rent a car at the rental companies around my area. This really put a halt on my life because I commute an hour every day.

I seriously have nightmares about Chevy Blazers now, and need to come to closure from this in a way that won’t get me arrested.

Please help me, I am sick of being screwed by women in Chevy Blazers!
Ms. Chevy Blazer Magnet

Revenge JokerHi Ms. Chevy Blazer Magnet,
I feel for you, I really do.

But I’m not sure what you can do against all the drivers of Chevy Blazers out there other than to try your best to steer clear.

I do hope that you can find a lawyer on a contingency basis to sue the lady that left you underpaid for your car.

SUV’s in general are driven, for the most part, by asses. These people park however they want, the don’t shoulder check when changing lanes and they cut other drivers off all the time. And never mind their cell phone usage while driving a car full of kids around.

Geesh, it’s really an unsafe world out there.

Of course, you could make some custom bumper stickers up (you can get the blanks at any office supplies store and print your own) that say "I am a careless Blazer driver" and stick them on the back bumpers of all the Blazers you see.

Helping to warn others will help you overcome your fears and provide you with the revenge you seek

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have a next door neighbor who is obsessed with his lawn. Many of my neighbors are, but not to this extent.

He mows it several times a week and takes an entire day to mow each time. It takes him four-five hours approximately to mow half an acre with a riding mower. Then he gets out a push mower and mows again.

If it is nice the next day, he gets out the riding mower and does it a second time. Nothing like having a nice short lawn!. He has no job, so there is no incentive for him to go anywhere except out to fuss with his yard.

Now I wouldn’t care, except I work at home, and the riding mower’s noise is beyond obnoxious (90 plus decibels). When I close all my windows and turn on the stereo, I can still hear vibrations going through everything and the china rattling. I would sabotage the mower except I don’t know where he keeps it, and I don’t want to get in trouble for trespassing.

Also calling the police when he was at it during the night didn’t work either. Please don’t suggest asking nicely to restrict the noise – asking inconsiderate jerks nicely for anything has never worked in my life. Thanks.

Revenge JokerHi Grateful,
If had a neighbor like that and after talking to him his behavior didn’t change I’d start a major campaign against him.

First off I’d get myself a video camera and record him mowing his lawn for a couple of times a week, so I have visual evidence of his compulsive behavior and the noise level. I’d follow up with a noise level meter to record the actual noise levels.

Some communities have bylaws that limit the amount of noise pollution that things can give off. I’d take all of the recordings down to city hall and start complaining. Maybe start a blog about this bad neighbor too. Sometimes when the info is online public officials tend to work a little harder. Maybe even you can get one of the city councilors to your home when he starts mowing so they can experience the trouble first hand.

I’d put up a big 4×8 foot plywood sign detailing the trouble with the neighbor that always mows. Something like "Can you hear what I hear when he mows his lawn 3 times a week?" Nothing rude or upsetting, just an explanation or apology to the other neighbors and travelers that come near the noise. Try to embarrass the guy a little but not too much.

I’d think about a loud outdoor stereo system, to blast back. A type of sound war, if the above didn’t work.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I live in a trailer park that the houses are close together.

There is a annoying woman that claims she works nights. So on the weekends when I’m home working on the house she has come up and yelled for sawing wood, yelled at my son for mowing lawn. She’s even yelled at our neighbors for music on it their own house.

Last weekend the hag called the cops on us cause we had music going in our house, no not speakers propped up against the windows either, just music going so we could hear through out the house. We didn’t get ticketed but this women is getting worse. The cop even said he could hardly hear the music.

This goes on in the middle of the afternoons, on the weekends, like at 2 o’clock pm. I need some help dealing with this hag.

The cops say since there a complaint they have to come. What should I do? I feel like a prisoner in my own house afraid to make a noise or the cops will come. HELP!!

Revenge JokerHi,
You need to be proactive here, since this freaky neighbor really has no reason to call the cops on you.

This is what I’d do:
1. Call the local city council and get a copy of the local noise bylaws. Make sure you read it and understand it. Keep a copy of it handy for the next time she complains so you can give it to her.

2. Call the police and talk to someone in charge about the harassment you are getting with her calling the police on you for unfounded noise complaints, contrary to the bylaws. If you present your case well enough, they’ll talk to her and then stop responding to her complaints.

3. Talk to your neighbors, it’s likely they have to put up with the same crap. Make sure they know how to deal with her as well and start a petition against her. Maybe that will help to force her to move out.

4. Talk to the park management or owners, make sure they understand the hell she’s putting you through with her unfounded and outrageous complaints. Along with your petition and support from your neighbors they may step in and talk with her.

5. Start weekly outdoor get-togethers with your neighbors, as an excuse to be a little louder than normal. It’s innocent enough and is she really going to come out after all of you? Sure she will. Have a video camera handy and with the ensuing screaming that she’ll make take the evidence down to the courthouse and file a complaint and a restraining order against her.

6. Don’t change how you are living your life, don’t let her win. Stand up to her and help her to understand that just because she has to kill chickens in the middle of the night to have a job it isn’t your problem and if she needs peace and quiet, to move somewhere else.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi Revenge Guy,
I became friends with a neighborhood kid down the street. I would give him work and help him and his mother when they requested it. When the boy came over he would bring his small dog because the dog would like the company with my dogs. Well when the mother would ask to borrow money or ask for help I would help out though it got to be I would have to bug her to get my money back. She would expect and give nothing in return not even appreciation.

They decided to move to another state and asked if I would take their dog for a couple weeks until they could send the money to have the dog sent up there. I accepted. Weeks, months went by and no money. We would talk on the phone and they wanted me to send the dog up and they would pay me back.

Well, knowing from experience I told them to send the money first. In the meantime the dog ran out and got hit by a car. I rushed took her to a animal emergency to try and safe her life. To save the dog cost almost $4000 in vet bills. She is a healthy dog now. That was my decision to save the dog and she is a great dog. When I told my x-neighbor what happened they acted like they did not want the dog anymore and would not want to even communicate with me like I am no longer a friend.

Well, I knew it was my decision to spend the money and save the dog but no gratitude at all. I love the dog and I am glad I saved her but if they would have sent the money from the start like was promised and agreed on, none of this would have happened. They have been taking advantage of my giving from the start. They probably got another pet by now.

I want to get revenge but I don’t know how since they are about 1000 miles away. I am upset because all I’ve done was to help them and when I just need some moral support they have nothing to do with me. I want to get them revenge.
Thanks, DJ

Revenge JokerHi DJ,
It sure sucks to be taken advantage like that.

I really hate people that feel it’s your obligation to help them out, then they aren’t even grateful for the help!

Revenge against people like this sure is sweet.

Here’s what I suggest:
The dog that you now have has been discovered! Yes, this dog is exactly what a casting agent decided her next commercial needs in it. The pay is great too! $3,000.00 per commercial and a residual every time the commercial is run on TV.
You’ve struck it rich! You’re sure to make big $$ from this dog. And this is only the beginning! There could be more commercials. Movies. The sky is the limit.

And this is the story I’d tell them the next time you hear from them. And I’d be sure to tell them to not call anymore. Don’t put this in writing. Over the phone only. No emails, nothing written down.

I hope this helps!

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi, great site.

HELP. I rent a small piece of land that I have built a small motocross track. Of course I had problems with a neighbor. So he called the cops several times on us but we were legal so the cops did nothing.

So he called the zoning board. Again we were legal. So he some how got a hold of the insurance company that insures the land and they shut us down.

Now after four long years of building a great track it is gone due to one asshole.

I want to do something but I also know that I will be the first suspect if something shady happens. PLEASE HELP!
Pissed MXer

Revenge JokerHi Pissed,
I don’t know why you want to do something shady, I’d think of annoying first and foremost.

Get a copy of the insurance papers and read them, see what can and can’t be done on the property.

Then I’d start renting the field out to rock bands to practice, RC (Remote Control) plane clubs. Find out about what can be done and do it. The more noise the better.

You could even place posters up telling of an upcoming event, only to be cancelled because of your neighbor, that will get people stirred up against him.

Have you told your story to the local newspapers yet? They love this type of neighborhood feud story.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi Revenge Guy,
Well i made a foolish decision and signed a contract with a company and handed them over $110.00 I did some research and found out legally if i go back within 5 days i can cancel the contract and take back my money… They refused. the only option now is to get a lawyer and take them to court but that’s only gonna cost me more. I wanna get dirty and show them they cant f**k over everyone without gettin f**ked back. They are located in an office space on the 9th floor of a building.

I have considered and probably will make numerous calls to various pizza delivery stores with huge orders from "there place of business". next i have contemplated pushing fart bombs under the door during there business hours, going to there place of business b4 they open and leave a pile of horse manure and or Fish guts all over the carpet and door in front of there office.

My last plan of attack was to spray mace also know as bear spray or pepper spray into there office during business hours making breathing incredibly hard, tears to pore from there eyes, and a burning sensation all over.

However i would like some other ideas to get these people back. hope to hear from you soon.

Why would you want to open yourself up to legal problems from them? If they have ripped you off, they’ve ripped others off just as successfully.

I’d picket their office with a sign and handouts stating what the problem is, how you got ripped off. Have someone call the local TV and radio news stations, maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll be a slow news day and you make the 6:00 news.

Spend a few hours getting the attention your plight deserves will be the best revenge. Plus you just may get your money back!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
In trying to find a tenant for a condo I just purchased, I have placed numerous “For Rent” signs on the corner of my block, between someone’s sidewalk and the street, completely out of the way.

The signs seem to disappear after a few days each time I put one up.

I’d love to catch the “thieving bastard” or at least get even with the person….any ideas?

Hi D,
Go to your local hardware store and get the slowest slow-drying paint or glue you can get. They have stuff that can take days to dry.

When you put up your next sign, cover the back with it.
That’ll teach the thieving bastards a lesson!


Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi RG,
I live in a basement apartment and have a real problem with the guy that lives upstairs.

He’s an artist and a real a@@hole. He works at night at home, starting around 11pm. He always has friends coming over for a party when he paints. He says it helps him to be inspired. I know it’s just so he can party and smoke pot with his friends.

The noise keeps me up and since I have a regular day job, it’s really hard on me.

The owner of the house won’t do anything. He talks to the guy, says it won’t happen again, but the noise and parties always start again. I can’t afford to move out and need advice on what I can do to get revenge. I’m a 5’4" girl, so beating him up isn’t going to work.

Any suggestions?

Hi Susan,
Fighting fire with fire isn’t going to work here. Since you have a job and he’s a stay at home bum, he really has the upper hand.

But of course, he does have to sleep sometime. This is what I suggest: get yourself the loudest alarm clock you can get. Something with a constant buzzer and set it for an hour after you leave for work.

It’s likely that he sleeps while you’re at work, and ‘forgetting’ to reset your alarm a few times will start to send him a message. Another favorite of mine is to pay attention to when he showers.

Then, every once in a while, run your hot water about an hour before his usual shower time. Drain all the hot water. Let him experience a few cold showers.

If he complains to you, and he will, just apologize and forget about it. Start again in a few days, just like he does. You might also want to start cooking smelly things. Fish is good. There’s nothing like the rising odor of a good fish meal to really fill the air.

Your goal here is everyday living that becomes aggravating to him. Nothing too obvious. With luck, he’ll get the message, clean up his act or just move out.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
I live alone in a nice house, in a nice part of town. But my neighbor takes advantage of the fact that I only put out one can of garbage a week and he has more that the city will allow him to put out.

He’s always sneaking some of his garbage out beside mine so the garbage men will take it.

Sometimes his bags break when they come to pick it up and I end up cleaning up the mess when I come home from work. What can I do to get even with him without causing a lot of trouble in my neighborhood?
Trashed On in Heartvale

Hi Trashed On,
Some people just feel it’s their right to take advantage of the property of others and this is exactly what this guy is doing. It would be easy to say "Report him" to the local bylaw office or city hall, but I don’t believe that you really want to get him in serious trouble, I think you just want him to keep his trash to himself.

I’ll also bet that you leave for work near the same time when he does, so you’ve seen him do it, so just returning his garbage to his front yard probably isn’t an option you’d like to take (avoid the confrontation).

So, this is what I suggest you do: Dig out your old tax bill and scan it into your computer (you have a scanner, don’t you?), then with the OCR program and a little trial and error, you can fake a bill or official looking letter for extra taxes due to the amount of garbage you are putting out each week.

Then with official-looking bill/letter in hand, pay a visit to your neighbor and ask him if he’s noticed anything going on. This will get the message across that he’s doing something that is going to cost you and it should, I hope, guilt him into either confessing, or at the least, stopping his behavior.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
Here is my problem: I have a basketball hoop in front of my house and my kids play ball in the street.

Good kids, no problems, stay out of trouble but my asshole neighbor doesn’t like it so he parks his car in front of the hoop so they can’t play. He has called the police, wrote letters to the village board and both have said no law is being broken and we’re doing nothing wrong so now he parks on our side of street under the hoop so the kids can’t play. The kids don’t play all the time and are not allowed after dark. He is just being a ass. Also he won’t do it when I’m home only when I’m at work. He is not elderly, probably 40-45 yrs old.

Please give me a great idea so I can get him not to park there or something I can get him with.
Thank you, Hoops

Revenge JokerHi

Put up a sign near the hoop, "Please, no rock throwing at the hoops!"

Hopefully he’ll get the idea that his car is in danger.

If that didn’t work I would buy a second basketball hoop.
Place them 30 feet apart.
Let the kids go wild.

Get some street chalk and draw out a basketball court. Make sure one of the ‘out of bounds’ lines borders on his property lines. Clearly write "Out Of Bounds" on your side of the line with arrows pointing towards his side of the street.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Neighbors Can Be Vandals and Thieves

The Revenge Guy

Moving into a great neighborhood doesn't always guarantee friendly neighbors, or nice neighbors or even people that just ignore you.

More often than not, you're going to have a neighbor that will do everything in his/her power to destroy the tranquil life you had so hoped for.

Here's a few stories of getting even.

Dear Revenge Guy,

I’m so glad I found this site. I have a real dilemma on my hands. My parents just recently bought this house (which is technically part of a condo) a couple towns over from where we used to live. It was my parents dream to own a house instead of paying rent for the rest of their lives. Though the area isn’t ideal, it is great house and we are happy in our new home.

This has been soured, however, by the neighbors who live right next to us. These drunken assholes have been nothing but nasty to us since we moved in. I believe it started when we took down their dog run that was attached to our deck. The previous owner didn’t mind, but we did. The day that we moved in the woman came outside and yelled at a friend of the family who was helping us move in. Needless to say, they have been completely out of control since we moved in.

The guy has a Harley that he revs up at all hours of the day, sometimes at ten at night and six in the morning, when we are trying to sleep. The woman who is apparently his girlfriend is just a bitch. Today, they were yelling, and calling me names completely unprovoked. They referred to me as "Fat F–k" as I was leaving to do some errands, and they almost ran over my dog with the motorcycle when we were out for a walk. This is absolutely the last straw.

They went from mild nuisances, to total assholes pretty quickly. If I did to them what I have in mind right now, I would be in prison. I am LIVID right now, and I really need some way to get back at them. If you have any suggestions, then I would really appreciate it.

We aren’t bad people. We just want to live in peace!
Thanks for your time,

Revenge Joker

Hi Hank,
The answer here is threefold:

First off you need to video what is going on and journal all the events that happen to you and your family from these out-of-control neighbors. When you have evidence of possibly criminal behavior contact the police.

Two: You need to have a look at the rules for the condo. Most condo’s because they have common areas that are governed by a condo or strata council have rules, or bylaws, that all owners and tenants have to follow.
Brush up on these rules and bylaws. If possible get yourself elected to the strata council. Change the rules of residency and get after the bad effects of these neighbors.
You can do it!

Get them legally, they won’t even see it coming!

Three: get some noxious substance (Liquid Ass is my favorite right now) and spray some on their bike if at all possible you can get to it without being seen. let them smell ass for a while!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
We have this guy in our apartment complex who ALWAY takes up two parking spots and I get off late at night and get home about 3am and can’t find a damn parking spot because of this twatwaffle.

The tow company won’t tow him because he’s got the parking sticker and lives here, I’ve complained to the office but that seems to never work.

I’m ready to slash all his tires. His car isn’t even new it’s a 1992 pontiac grand prix 4 door! wtf is so damn special about that, that he needs two damn spots?? It’s not going to save it from the keyed up marks he’s about ready to get. So besides all the obvious destroying of the car and beating him like he owes me money what else could I do?

Revenge Joker

The key here is to get him taken care of without being caught as the culprit.
You’ve got to wait a couple of weeks, avoid confrontations. Let this settle down.

Have you spoken with the apartment managers?
Taken photos to them of this bad parking?
Do you know that if a parking place is included in your lease and the manager doesn’t make sure you have access to one, 24 hours a day, you can withhold your rent?

You should check this with a lawyer or your local government office, but it’s a pretty universal thing.

Now then, the goals here are to:
1. Educate this guy about parking, and
2. Get your revenge.
These things should work together somehow, agreed?

Get yourself a fake “Tow-away” sign or “No Parking” sign and a stick.
When “too stupid to stay within the lines” is parked in two spots, pull out your sign and stick, stick it in the ground in front of his car and call the tow truck.
This works, trust me! As an alternative, get yourself some Liquid Ass ( and generously spay this stuff on the door handles of his car. He’ll love the smell for several hours. Hehe.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have these neighbors who live behind me a couple of houses down, they keep stealing from me and the cops can do anything about it, (or won’t), either way, I have had it.

It’s taking everything I have to keep from going over there to kick someone’s ass. It’s teenage boys who live with their mother, who condones this crap. We have had problems for years, about 6 or 7 years ago this kid stole my sons bike and we found it in the thief’s friend’s backyard right behind us.

We don’t have a fence so I know this contributes to my problem, but it still doesn’t give these chumps the right to steal from me.

So we called the cops then, got the bike back, and things seemed to calm down. The kid eventually went to juvy for 3 years because he progressed to stealing cars, the family moved away, then recently moved back into the neighborhood within the last year.

My kids pass by their backyard to go to and from their bus stop so they see into these peoples backyard everyday. A few months ago, my son comes home and says "Mom, my bike is in this dudes backyard", so I didn’t call the cops this time, because they never help us out with the neighborhood thieves or vandalism we deal with, it feels like we are on our own.

So my son and I go over there, I jump their fence and take the bike back. Later that night my husband and I went and confronted them about it, the mom just adamantly defended her perfect little children, like my kids bike rode itself over there and put itself in her backyard.

So a couple of weeks ago my son comes home and says "Mom, your garden tool is in their backyard now", I didn’t go get it back because I wasn’t sure how to handle this, because now I am just totally pissed off and don’t want to screw myself legally. I realize it’s a miniscule item but its the principal of the matter. So my husband called the cops yesterday, I bought the tool at a swap meet so I really have no way of proving its mine. It’s all bent up and used and my husband told the cop that, I saw it and it is clearly my tool. So the mom tells the cop, no it’s hers she bought it at Home Depot, she will look for her receipt to prove it.

Come on!!! She knows its mine, I know it’s mine, her thieving sons know its mine. It was in my yard one day, the next day one shows up in their yard, they live in a rocky landscaped backyard, I have a garden in my yard, it just looks bad on their part.

But the cops can’t do anything its their word against ours. The cop says we need to engrave all of our stuff, which I am going to do. I am going to engrave my name into my bike and a few other things (in inconspicuous places) and leave them out there to try and set them up. They can’t seem to control themselves from stealing from us, so I think it will work, but it’s a matter of time I’m sure.

After we pissed them off yesterday by sending the cops to their house, they kept looking over the fence at me and my kids, I told my kids if these people talk to you ignore them because we don’t talk to thieving bastards, they heard me say that and sent the cops to MY house like I am a criminal, can you believe this!

That just pissed me off even more. Then later last night I am outside on the phone and three of the kids jump their neighbors fence and were watching me, like crouched down, it was weird like they were going to do something, so I yelled at them, "Go ahead and keep watching me, you guys steal from me and treat me like I’M the ones who’s wrong!" They ran when I said that, I was worried so I kept watch out my backyard all night, they didn’t come over here.

So clearly I need to take matters into my own hands. We don’t live in that great of a neighborhood, but my next door neighbor, he’s a stand-up guy, he has had problems with these people too, but none of us can prove that its these little bastards doing any of this stuff that keeps going on.

One of the kids shot a moving car with a bb gun from my good neighbor’s house, but of course we can’t prove it. So my stand-up neighbor had to pay for the damages to the car. I figured out it was them when I confronted their mom about my kids stolen bike when I found a coffee can full of bbs and bb holes on their front porch soon after the incident occurred.

We have been robbed and vandalized numerous times, we had a quad stolen out of my yard, my kids Kettcar go cart was stolen, I can’t prove its them but I know it is.

We don’t have a lot of money so I can’t afford to build a fence right now, I can’t afford surveillance. My son wants to set booby traps, lol, that’s great but not too practical I don’t think. We raked my yard last night to see any footprints that might be left, so I will keep doing that. I know I pissed them off so I know they will be back to do something, I just don’t know when. So I found your site and wanted some good sweet revenge advice, please help,
Pissed Off

Revenge Joker

Dear Pissed Off,
I think that you’re in a bad situation and need to make it better.
First off, outdoor surveillance is only a few hundred dollars. Do it! Even if you only have one camera and a couple fake ones.

Do the engraving…. And if you hit some second hand stores what I’d do is look for something that’s cheap that the kids might want to steal. Mark it with some invisible paint. Let them have that all over them… the cops will love it.

Get all your neighbors together to discuss these problem neighbors and kids. You’ll find better solutions if you’re together as a group. It’s a great reason to share a beer or a cup of coffee with your neighbors too.

Start a journal, every neighbor, detailing what’s going on. Write down incidents, times, witnesses, everything. The police will reply on this when it happens again.

Do these people rent the home? Is there a landlord to talk to about the house damage?

Your sweet revenge is really catching them in the act and having the police, and other neighbors, watch them very carefully.
Protect what you have.
Raking the yard is a good idea, so is watering it. Any treatment that will show footprints.

I would worry that this is just becoming a game with kids and parents that just don’t care what might happen.

Get everyone together. You may even have a civil case and sue them. Read your city bylaws…. Even the threat of a lawsuit might wake the idiotic mother up to what her kids are doing.

And, as far as what to do, if you can I’d start spreading bird seed in their rocky back yard… let them deal with a yard full of birds and cats… Just throw some over into their yard every few nights. Give them some pets to play with.

I hope this helps,
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

My bastard neighbors put up chimes for the sole purpose of annoying me.

They stuck two large ones on the side of the house next to mine.

What can I do? I am not interested in escalating this to a noise war because I hate loud noise, but am open to any advice.
Thanks, Anon.

Revenge Joker

Dear Anon,
What I really would do is get a can of aerosol glue and spray it at the wind chimes when they aren’t home.
It’ll still be hanging but now should be all glued up and not chiming.

If it’s hanging by a string I’d try to get to it and partially cut it through, but still hanging. A few gusts of wind should take it down and hopefully they’ll be too lazy to get it fixed.

Either that or fake a call to them being the local bylaw office, saying that they have a noise complaint and have 72 hours to comply with taking down the chime or face a city hall fine.

Or just for the heck of it start dropping some bird seed on the other side of their house, let them have some new noise just for themselves!

I hope I’ve helped!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,

I saw your website and figured I’d give it a try…. here’s the story….

Back in 2003 my family and I moved into a new house, my dad who owned an heating and a/c company passed away 2 weeks later suddenly.

Now the problem began when we had the two company vehicles, my car, my mom’s car and my dad’s personal truck and no space to put these vehicles. So for a temporary time until spring came I had to park 2 vehicles on the road, now mind you, at the time houses were still being built and there were big piles of dirt and rock and constructions vehicles as well left on our road during the night.

But our neighbor
across the street this old guy who doesn’t work kept calling the city on me and they’d keep towing my cars away almost on a nightly basis. I ended up running out of money after paying so much to get them out, and ended up losing my dad’s personal truck (worth $30,000 at the time) and a company vehicle with all our tools in it (worth about $35,000) because the towing company said they don’t hold on to the vehicles for more then a month.

I let it go… I lost our business went broke and let it go anyways… now, 2 years later I get a letter in attached to the door saying I have to move my 2 vehicles off my driveway or make them operable (I no longer park anything on the road…. and the two vehicles being referred to are our cars that are not being used at the moment but are both 2002 models so they’re not an eyesore) because the old man complained about that now.

I really want to
beat the sh-t out of this guy… but I can’t because I will get in trouble, what can I do? Any ideas? I just want to torture the fucker… I park my car out on the road during legal hours of the day just to piss him off now, but I need more.
Peeved Son

Revenge JokerHi Peeved Son,
I’m really sorry for what you’ve gone through. Is he giving other neighbors the same hassles or just targeting you?

Have you thought of a lawyer and filing harassment charges of some type?

Can you cover the cars, put minimum insurance on them? Get plates?

As far as revenge it’s hard to say what to do. You didn’t tell me much about him.

But you can do the standby’s that are on my site:
Litter his yard with dry cat food when he’s asleep, let him be attacked by all the cat’s in the neighborhood;

Sprinkle pellet fertilizer on his yard spelling out “JERK”. The next time he waters he’ll get a semi-permanent surprise;

Make up some “For Rent” posters and leave them around town , cheap rent at his place. Let him deal with these visitors. You can also do early morning yard sales, car for sale, anything. Make a poster a month and keep him busy. You’ll get to laugh a lot at him.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,
The other day I was driving into a cul-de-sac that my cousin lives on (who lives around the corner from me).

I, for the record, was driving within or below the speed limit. My cell phone rang, it was my daughter so I answered it. This old man on the corner motioned to me so I rolled my window down and he told me to get off the damn phone and drive. I was shocked!!

I was not doing anything wrong. When I told him that it was my daughter and I needed to answer it he screamed something at me and I told him to get a life. He then told me to stick it up my ass.

I was so unnerved I went home and cried. I can’t believe a total stranger would be so cruel. I know that being on the phone when driving is a pet peeve for some people, but it is legal where I live and like I said, I was driving slow almost stopped.

This man does not know who I was and that I live around the corner from him. He walks his dog everyday and I have said hi to him before, but even then he wasn’t very friendly.

I want revenge. What do you suggest.

Dear Anonymous,
Really, what this guy needs is a return ticket to reality. But are you sure you want to be the one?

If yes, then read on, otherwise just delete this email right now.

You know where the old guy walks his dog. He doesn’t know you.

I’d start timing his walks, knowing where and when he’ll be someplace, then start leaving stuff in slightly hidden places for the dog to sniff and find.

Small wrapped bits of catnip, dog food in wet tissue paper, things that will make the dog out of control while he’s walking the dog.
And take pictures of him too, or video with your phone/camera, wrestling with his dog, trying to keep him under control.

Then post the video to YouTube or somewhere.
Share it. You’ll at least have the last laugh.

Let this old guy lose control over something he cares about, then he’ll have more to worry about than just bugging people as they drive.
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

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