My New Neighbor is a Liar and Causing Trouble For Me

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
We have lived in our home for twenty years never a complaint. Now we have a new neighbor who is a real piece of shit.

Animal control has posted a ticket on our door stating our dog runs loose and she isn’t licensed not had she had her rabies shots. They haven’t even seen my dog and she does have her shots, also he has called the police saying we were prowlers when we we’re working in our garden one night, he’s turned us in for burning when we bbq, he is something else or and reported that we shoot neighboring cats and birds.

What can we do to bring this guy to the reality that he is new to my neighborhood not the other way around?


The Revenge GuyHi Long-timer,
Neighbors, new one especially, are the worst to deal with.

They seem to think they can decide on the “new rules” of life, not understanding, or caring, that they’re the ones that should have to “move in” to how things are done in the neighborhood.

Yours is a particular problem because he likes to report anything you do. That means he’s always watching you.

And that can work against him very well to your benefit.

You need a camera aimed at his house (or at least the street with his house in the background. Heard a lot of street racers lately that you want to catch and report? Wink wink) and just start goofing off in front and the back of your home. Wherever he’s been seeing things to report, do it there.

Start with getting a stuffed but realistic looking cat doll, and kick the hell out of it. Maybe a dog and a bird too.

Once he complains officially you might have a case for invasion of privacy or something.

I’m sure you can think of a few additional things to do to get his ire.

Have fun with it. And send me the videos!

Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy
Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Asshole Parking in My Spot

Dear Revenge GuyHello RG,
I’m not looking to take revenge, not my style.

But I did ask building management to leave a notice about someone parking in a spot that I share with a coworker in a condo building (which is assigned to us and was properly paid for – about $200 a month). I specifically informed building management that I didn’t want to cause trouble, getting them fined or anything like that – just that we use the spot.

This morning, I found coffee poured over the driver’s door handle which, in my opinion, is quite childish. I’ve cleaned it off but I have a feeling, based on your blog, that this will continue. What is there that I can do?

The Revenge GuyHi, People suck, don’t they?
There’s too many “entitled people” in the world that drive me crazy. I mean, they have no care in the world about how their actions affect others just as long as what they do is convenient for them.

Since they were such jerks to pour stuff on your car the usual thing would be to retaliate. Of course you don’t want such a war with these idiots, certainly the next thing they’ll do is key your car.

Simply put, what I would do is put a “tow notice” on the parking spot and say that you’ll have any illegally parked cars towed at the owner’s expense. Or get yourself some fake parking tickets and start putting them on the windshield.

You pay for the spot, it’s yours. Protect it without escalating if you can.

Good luck

Neighbors Can Be Bullies

The Revenge Guy

I hate the people that want to run your life from their home or apartment.
Let's get'em!!!!!

Breaking The Hold of a Bully Neighbor

Hi Revenge Guy,

Without our consent or prior knowledge, our neighbour tore down the fence along the property line between our backyards and put up a cheap, ugly fence in its place.

He then asked us to pay for half of the cost. Since we had no input whatsoever into any of the decisions, we refused. We have a recent survey that shows exactly where the property line is. He is now trying to tear out the hedge between our front yards. The property line is right along the middle of the hedge. We notified him in writing that he does not have our permission to do anything to our side of the hedge but he says he can do as he pleases.

We have started pouring tons of well-rotted comfrey fertiliser along the hedge. It has a lot of liquid as well as slimy rotten leaves. This stuff stinks to high heaven and you can never get rid of the smell. His dog loves it and I am sure it will work wonders on his carpets when the animal tracks it into his house.

We've planted sea buckthorn along the hedge. This stuff grows very fast, has huge thorns and puts out runners which will go all through his lawn. It won't go through our yard as I can keep it under control. It is indestructible.

We have poked out all the numerous knots in the backyard fence, bored holes in the posts and inserted stump rot.

We've nailed pea netting all over the fence and are growing beans up it.
We've notified the bylaw enforcement officers that he keeps an old car parked in front of his house in violation of a 72 hour parking bylaw.

He has on several occasions told us that one of our other neighbours (let's call him John) threw rocks through his window and destroyed part of his lawn with Round-up. No charges have been made against John and it has not been proved that he had anything to do with these incidents. If we told John what our neighbour was saying about him, could he sue for slander? We would we willing to act as witnesses.

Getting revenge is important for my self-esteem. Allowing myself to be shoved around by this arrogant bully would undermine my feeling of self-worth. Is there anything else we can do to get revenge?
Thank you for your assistance.

Revenge JokerHi Happy Homeowner,
You are really amazing to have started this neighbor war in the methods you have chosen, my hat is off to you!

Continue your war of protecting your property line and house value.

Look at getting this guy into court for slander, I fully endorse such a move. Bullies need to be brought down to the regular earth all of us good people share. Share what you know! The truth will out all the bullies!

I would also start an online photo essay of your property, on a site like and be certain to have the picture "peek" into his yard. Let's take pleasure in what happens to his yard. Without any prior knowledge, of course.

BTW, if I need help with a bad neighbor will you share more of what you've done?
Thanks for emailing me,

The Upstairs Neighbors

Dear Revenge Guy,
My husband and I live in a 4 family home. Last year we got a new neighbor above us, a young 20ish girl. The other tenants in the house are the landlords in-laws and another older couple. My husband and I are in our 40's.

From day 1, there were definitely more than one person staying there and they are serious night people. To make a story short….they have caused lots of problems and are being evicted. The landlord says he doesn't know how long the process will take, but in the mean time they are basically terrorizing us. We tried to get along at first and I realized when I stopped up there once that they have NO furniture.

They live in 2 bedrooms. So when they come in at night….several people congregate and party in the bedroom above us.

My husband has to get up at 4:30 am for work and they come in at all hours of the night….who knows how many of them. Yes we've called the police……I do not want to be a nuisance to them.

My husband wants to go to the basement and flip the breaker on their music when it's loud. I'm afraid he'll get caught. I say go down when we know they're out and flip the switch on their frig. We're between a rock and a hard place.

Hi Neighbor,
When you have the power over the power, use it.

First off, yes, start with pulling the breaker when the noise get's too loud. Give your husband the go-ahead to do it.

Doing it when they're out probably won't make much use because I bet they don't have anything in their fridge that isn't "shelf stable", that is, won't rot in 50 years or so.

Follow up with calls from a "detective" asking for them to make an appointment to come in for an "interview". /p>

Take pictures of your building or encourage your landlords to do so. I'd bet my bottom dollar that there will be a "moving out party" to trash the place when they go. Punks like this don't care about a damage deposit, if they gave one at all.

If you're any good at photo editing, scan in an image of your utility bill, which ever you have to pay yourself, electricity, gas, water, whatever. Change your name to theirs, of course, and add several hundred dollars to the bill for them to pay.

Change the number to call for customer service to a sex line number. Freak them out.

Quieting down a group of pigs is hard to do, but you can make them ready to leave a lot sooner than the eviction if you do things right.
Best wishes,

Red Fence Bastards

Dear Revenge Guy,
I share a combined front yard with my neighbors. They re-landscaped their side of the yard and put up an ugly red fence in between us without asking us if it was ok. It is on our shared property line, but they didn't ask for our approval.

The red fence doesn't match with our other fences and looks awful. Also, it has ruined the look of my side of the yard.

We don't have a Homeowner's Association and there is no city code. How can I get revenge?

Hi Phyllis,
Paint your side of the fence to a more pleasing color.
Send them a registered letter before you do, notifying them of your plans.

Get a lawyer involved if the letter doesn't work.

And if you don't paint it, plant some bushes or hedges….

And every once in a while through some granular fertilizer on their side, after a few weeks the fertilizer will burn the hell out of their lawn.
Good luck!

Crappy Neighbors Threatened Me

Hi RG,

We purchased a house 3 years ago and the people next door are typical white trash, they keep a tree trimming truck, chipper and stump grinder on their property as well as a few junk cars.

We live in a nice well kept neighborhood, they drive and park all over their property they constantly have kids over for parties, drinking, music, screaming, through the night.

We have 2 small children and since we've been here we can't even open their windows at night, and are forced to turn on the AC on beautiful nights, even with their windows closed they can't fall asleep and are constantly being woken up due to the noise.

We have asked numerous times with no results, called the police, as soon as the police drive away it starts up again, last night we called and as soon as the police left someone yelled out "keep calling the police and we'll F$#* up your house" We are at a loss on what to do HELP !!!!!
Greg T.

Hi Greg,
First off: security cameras.

Second: motion detector lights.

Third: talk with your other neighbors, I'm sure they've had sleepless nights too and would welcome the opportunity to gang up on these asses.

Fourth: Liquid Ass. Spray it over the fence when they're NOT outside but you know they WILL BE later.

Fifth: Video camera. Capture these guys in the act, when needed this will make a great case for you in the courts, should this go that far.

Getting rid of bad neighbors, unless they are renters is quite difficult. Do a property search, find out their names and do a criminal background check. odds are good that they all have some arrests and convictions in their pasts, so you could again enlist your neighbors and start a poster campaign to get these bums to move.

You MUST have the support and willingness of your good neighbors to force out the bad.

Introduce yourself around, if you haven't yet, and get started.
Good luck!

She's Calling The Cops On Me For Noise During The Middle of the Day!

Dear Revenge Guy,

I have a neighbor that is such a royal B*tch.

My roommate that lived with me for two years got involved with her and they had a nasty break up. After the break up she was yelling derogatory statements to him and his son. He got the cops involved which they were not much help so he decided to move.

She has now started to take it out on me.

She has called the cops on me several times for music complaints. They other day it was at 5:00 in the afternoon on a Friday. The music was not that loud and I had it playing for well over 2 hours but the second my old roommate showed up the cops were there immediately after.

I have never been sited for these complaints and have even had the officer tell me that it wasn't that loud.

There have been many of times that my lawn mower would be a lot louder.

A few weeks back I was sleeping and the neighbor on the other side had his music up I didn't care but she called the cops on me not him. Since she is giving my address they have to respond to my house.

This has got to the point were I can't even watch my tv at a descent volume to hear it with out her calling the police.

It has effected my way of living that has been the same for the last 4 years. I would like to find away to make it stop. She doesn't have a job and is home all day. Please Help!!!!!Thank you,

First thinks first, find out what the noise bylaws are for where you live.
You'll likely find that the police can't do anything because the noise is during the day and well within the noise bylaws where you live.
With that knowledge in hand, go to the police and see about making a harassment complaint against her, tit for tat, right?!!

Now for the better part of revenge….
get her phone number, do a reverse lookup if needed to get her info and post her info everywhere you can think of. (I have plenty if ideas throughout my site!)
Make job ads for her, selling things, whatever.
Keep a steady stream of people calling her and coming to her door.

At least she'll be too busy to worry about you anymore.
Best wishes,

What Do I Do To Get Back At My Ignorant Neighbor And Her Brats?

Dear Revenge Guy,

I would never have thought that I would ask someone's advice on how to get back at people, but my neighbors really piss me off.

I moved in a townhouse about 1.5 year ago, and immediately I realized that those people are ignorant.

First they younger kid brought some kids and they had like an orgie in my backyard.

I called the police then, they spoke to the neighbors, and then the mother became upset that like her child is just a kid.

Then they started playing basketball on the driveway (it's joint), and they were always on my front lawn.

I was kicking out the small kids all the time from there.

Then the older kid started walking through my lawn to drag his lawn mower. I told them not to, and that guy was almost swearing at me like "I will not stop doing that!".

Finally this year my lawyer wrote them a letter like "Do not play ball on the other part lawn and driveway part".

No reaction.

More, that older son (who is over 18 for sure, and who does not study buy just stays at home and waits till his girlfriend picks him up in her car, or when some friends come to drink and then drive to party) walked with his dog right in front of my lawn.

That was a good reason to call the police again, and I was lucky to take some pictures.

So I called the police. Ha-ha. After like 9 days of waiting, I finally got a call from a police officer that she spoke to the mother, and that the mother promised that it will not happen again?!

The police woman did not even speak with the son, and when I tried to explain her all bad things they did, she was like "Oh, that mother told me that you were throwing stones and sod on her backyard " (lie).

So, now I don't know what to do. I saw that stupid son walking the dog, but so far he went around my lawn.

However that mother pissed me off with her lies. Also also the police did not seem to be helpful, she did not even want to issue a ticket to the son!!

My question is how to deal with that situation. I would love to get a revenge, however I obviously don't want to go overboard. Should I call the police woman's supervisor? Should I spread some real compost (from a farm) all over to have the neighbors smell it 24×7? What should I do?

In addition that mother claims to be poor and does not want to have a fence in the backyard (we don't have any fence!!).

So now she had some money to buy a huge table with an umbrella, and it's kind of close to the border with my yard. So I would have to see their stupid faces when they have a barbeque. What do I do????

Please HELP!!
Yours, Suffering


You are in a bad place, but there is no point in NOT sharing the misery you suffer.

If I were you I'd be fertilizing the lawn every second week… just spread the manure on, let the kids walk through that.

Have a security camera installed, track the kids trespassing, gather the evidence for the police.

Be proactive!

Go to the police department and search for a sympathetic ear to tell your tale to. Have recordings, journal documentation, the whole nine yards.

Check the strata/townhouse bylaws where you are, you might have a good case to force her and those brats to vacate/move. tread the rules carefully.

try to get elected to the townhouse board of directors… people usually try to NOT be on the board and go with whatever decisions are made.

With that type of power you could easily make her living there a nightmarish hell.

Check on the watering restrictions too! And BBQ rules, I'm sure the development you live in has restrictions on outdoor grills, most places do.

Talk with your other neighbors and see what is happening to them. Many times people silently suffer their neighbors obnoxious behavior, but you can be the spark that starts the fire!

Do it!

Don't wait for these brats to fly away from mommy's side, they won't!

Building My New Home

Dear Revenge Guy,
I read some of the advice on your website and was intrigued. I would love to know if you have any suggestions for my husband and me.

We are in the process of building a new house at the end of a cul-de-sac street. The space is somewhat tight at the end of this street, and there are essentially three homes there (ours and 2 others). At
the very end of the street lives our now problem neighbor.

Soon after we purchased the property, on which a home had stood vacant for 2 to 3 years, this neighbor somehow found my husband's work phone number and email address and called to say he hoped we wouldn't be removing many of the trees on the property. We were surprised at this and thought it was none of his business, but we assured him that where we had to remove trees, we would replant new ones.

Subsequent to that time, our builder one day came across a yard worker carrying an expensive Japanese Maple tree, which he had dug up from the backyard of our property, toward his landscape truck. The truck was parked in the driveway of our neighbor's house. Caught in the act of stealing our tree, which retails for between one and two thousand dollars, the yard worker said he would put it back. Due to the way he had butchered its roots, it could not survive, and it died. We were angry at the time, but we did not feel that we could prove who had tried to steal it, and we were eager to begin our relationship with our neighbors on a positive note. We did not formally say anything to them about it.

Well, since construction has begun this man and his wife have been irrational and nasty. I went over to officially introduce myself before the construction was underway to apologize for the inconvenience and establish a friendly relationship. This seemed to go well, except that the husband continued to ask about whether we planned to remove all the trees that were marked.

Some time later, my husband got another email at work from this man, stating that his wife observed the construction crew "dumping garbage" on their property. This neighbor said that he expected to be notified no later than noon that day that it had been cleaned up. We called our builder to ask about this, and when he drove across town to investigate the "garbage dumping," he found one paper coffee cup and an empty Jello cup. He picked these up and we all could not believe how crazy these people were. I pick up that much trash and more from my yard regularly, simply from what gets blown in by the wind.

Later that week, we drove to check things out at the site and ran into the wife. We waved and said hello. She did not respond but asked whether they had taken care of "all the trash." We said that we did not see any trash, but did she? She began to shake all over and said that there was a "red buckle" on her side of the silt fence. When we went to check, it was extremely hard to see, but we did find a small red buckle contraption nearly buried in the dirt, and my husband removed it. The area between our two lots goes down into a deep gully covered by trees that is quite shady and hard to see into.

The latest communication from these friendly and gracious people came last week to my husband's email stating that OUR brick delivery truck had hit and damaged one of their pine trees. The neighbor said that he had called his tree company to come out and photograph the damage and that he would be sending us the bill for the cost of their services to "save" the tree. My husband responded that he should send the invoice on and that our builder would look into it. We investigated and found that the brick truck driver had hit the tree (there was one square foot of bark knocked off) and that his company would take responsibility.

This week, when the invoice came, Mr. Obnoxious emailed my husband again at work and said that he should send the reimbursement check to his work address and that they would hold us responsible if this 50 year old pine tree did not make it and died. My husband replied that he would forward the invoice on to our builder who was coordinating with the brick company and that further concerns about the tree should be addressed to the brick company. They were responsible for the damage.

These people are unbelievably obnoxious and I have grown increasingly more angry as they barrage my husband at work with their complaints. Their attitude is incredible given that we did not pester them about the expensive tree WE lost (I mentioned that very briefly during my visit to meet them) and that we have responded in a prompt and polite way to their concerns. They clearly do not wish to have anyone build or live on the lot next to them. I have never been one to seek revenge, but I am finding myself wanting to put this man in his place. He assumes a condescending and accusatory air towards us that is out of line and infuriating. I would welcome any actions you could offer that would enable me to stick it right back to him.
Thanks so much,
Homebuilder under attack

Hi Homebuilder,
From now on have all corresponded go through your lawyer. Hit the ant with the largest hammer you have.

You see, when you try to be nice these neighbors are understanding you as weak, so they try to push you around and make you jump through hoops… and you jump!

This will end up being a court case, I'm sure.

Print out all emails, save every phone call details.
Write down and photo everything on a weekly basis as to how the construction progresses, etc. Ask your builder to take daily pictures when they leave for the day, if possible.

Check local building laws, make sure everything you do is by the book. Detail the costs involved with this heightened recording of your building being done, it'll come in handy.

Make sure your property is posted "No Trespassing" and that your liability insurance is paid up.

You are in for a battle that has just begun so be prepared.
Good luck!

Parking Wars

Dear Revenge Guy,
Hopefully you don't find this situation too similar to ones already posted on your site- we are looking for some advice on dealing with neighbors across the street from us.

A little less than a year ago we moved into a fairly young neighborhood in which rows of townhomes (which we live in) sit across the street from single family homes.

We were warned by our next door neighbor to watch out on parking in front of the house across the street, they made frequent complaints and had even egged our neighbors car once because they were too close to the mailbox.

In December, my husband accidently parked about 2 inches on the grass with one tire (the other tire was entirely on the curb) and they left a threatening note on his windshield that said "Park on my grass again and you'll be sorry" or something along those lines.

That day we went over and introduced ourselves, explained that we were sorry but we thought the letter somewhat inappropriate.

We tried to be friendly but at the same time stand up for ourselves that they had never met us before and should have tried talking to us before leaving such a hateful letter. They used the excuse that "thats how they were raised to handle things" (These people come across as fairly uneducated hicks in my opinion) but apologized for the overraction. We tossed the note and moved on.

Since that time, we bought a new vehicle and put our other one up for sale, and since my husband also has a work car we now have more vehicles than fit in our driveway, so my spare car which I don't drive much anymore was parked in front of their house (because there isn't parking on our side of the street).

It was there for about a week and a half until they called the cops on us tonight for having it parked there for over 24 hours. Now granted, we broke the rule but we weren't hurting anything! We weren't blocking the mailbox, driveway, etc. In addition people are always parking on the street so even if we weren't parked there, someone else would be.

Well, my husband and are are out of town for the holiday but luckily my sister was there doing laundry when the cops came and explained that we would be back on Tuesday to move the vehicle.

SO that long story was to explain that I'm looking for a way to get back at them for being jerks for no reason.

If you live across from townhomes that have single car garages, they should realize that people will always be parking in front of their home, get over it!!!

I want to get back at them somehow, but I'm really not enough of a daredevil to do anything illegal. Can you help at all? I know very little about these people except that they are ignorant and rude.

My sister did try to go over and talk to them again tonight to explain that we were gone but would move the vehicle on Tuesday if they would please not call the cops again until then, and they pretty much treated her like dirt. I just want to be able to park without worrying every day if I'll come home to a ticket.

Oh, and one other thing, I really don't want to just park the car I do drive daily in that spot because 1. it would give them too much satisfaction and 2. I have a 1 year old son and usually several other things to carry inside when I come home everyday so its really a pain to have to park so far from my front door.
Thanks for any advice!
PS sorry this was so lengthy!!

Hi Sally,
People are very territorial; and you've stumbled across a roost of turkeys that need to control everything in their sight.

While you can't do anything but offend them every time you park in front of their house you did do everything right: introducing yourself, apologizing for parking over the usual time limit, etc.

Now it's time to play their game but, you know, you're the number one suspect no matter what happens to them.

Again, the first thing I'd try is kindness, bribing them for the parking "permission" just might appease these monkeys, and that's what I'd try first, again. Maybe go to their front door and give them a bottle of booze and see what their reaction is. Certainly if you continue to offend them by parking in front of their house (and it seems like you don't have many options without a long walk home) you'll be spending a lot of time cleaning egg, and worse, off your car.

Revenge here really isn't justified:
1. you are parking in front of their home, you have too many vehicles where you live, didn't you see that when you bought the place?
2. they have more opportunity to mark up and harm your car than you have time to fight them and stirring up trouble against these people

Making nice, in this instance, is my recommendation.
Spring for a bottle of booze once a month, maybe a dozen doughnuts, whatever you think they might like.
It will certainly be cheaper than starting a parking war.

I hope this helps, if things get worse email me again,
Best wishes,

Neighbors: You Can’t Choose Them!

The Revenge Guy

I love new neighbors… you treat them nice and they try to fuck up your lives after that… So let's GET EVEN!


My Neighbor Is Destroying My Property

Dear Revenge Guy,

We have really enjoyed reading your posts in the past but this is not your ordinary lover simple answer!

We have a challenging situation and may even be a bit difficult to answer!

Our neighbor who moved into a horse community neighborhood was able to secure a license to have a Cabinet Business next door to our home!

The county approved him 'even after he was found to have been in operation 8 years without a business license and illegally enlarged a building, had a spray booth without proper ventilation, had over 15 fire code violations, had big diesel trucks next to our driveway and forklifts beeping shaking our home & windows and scaring our livestock so they would run.

This man has 5 acres and he has spent so much time and been at our property line continually and provoked and caused so many problems that we have pictures and documented that the Court Judge with our documentation and pictures has enforced an anti-harassment order.

This neighbor has also created a ditch with a culvert in the wooded area of wetlands and made a ditch and has drained water/ gray water/ toxic chemicals/ in a tube and ran it under ground into our property ( We had a culvert on top of our property and it has disappeared now under the ground. Our Giant Evergreens 75 + feet high have lost most of their full foliage turned brown dying, (his side only) and he has chopped the limbs off on one side (his side) sticking the limbs cut into our fence as trophies and has been moving our fence line in on our property.

The county said they cant see the underground tank he put in to drain the water into our pasture that has been over 5 feet high and has flooded our barn. So they cant make him dig it up.

Now we are up 500 feet up a hill, no flooding here but he has taken his wetlands and drained them into our property, drying his and flooding ours.

We called EPA and conservation and we are waiting.

By the way the last business was also a cabinet business shut down there because of illegal dumping chemicals.

This guy is an arrogant and intimidates and yells over the fence and runs when ready to confront!

We bought this place because it was completely private years before he showed up. He has tried to ruin our privacy we lost several animals due to questionable circumstances, all these animals were healthy and young.

We are very good pet owners having been 4H sponsors and leaders. This guy moved into a farm neighborhood and has no pets and doesn't like them. Here is a picture of the drain area with spiked logs.

How would you go about removing such a scourge like this (the person scourge) now picture your child running after a pet with his open gate open all the time and tripping on this spiked speared logs and falling on these?
Now you know how we feel!

You're right, this is a hard one to answer.

A man's property is sacrosanct but this guy has definitely crossed the line hugely.

There should be some older property lines/allotment property values stored by the county for the property as it was when first registered. Maybe there is the information you need to prove all that this guy has done. I'd look into the old county records carefully.

You've done right to document all that he has done, maybe the local conservation groups can get involved to help you fight this guy and the destruction he has caused. Make some enquiries.

Look for a lawyer to help you in a property fight over the damage he has done as well… if you don't find a lawyer right away, bide your time and keep documenting what is happening, you will find one sooner or later. Pictures, video, and a journal.

Talk to newspapers too… this might make a good local story.

Usually guys like this are only pushed into another place by heavy attention, make that happen, even if it means you start slowly with a website and an online journal.

Are there other neighbors that this guy is also offending and destroying property? If he has other neighbors talk to them, if not, look at who owns that land opposite him and talk to the owners or county about that property and if there are any records about it's state of being.

I wish I had some real revenge that would make this guy move away instantly, but these types thrive on being the bully, so I don't think he'd easily be tricked into a situation that would automatically make him forfeit his land.
But you might have more input here than I.

I have published your story here and the photo that you sent me.

Maybe this will help to shine some light on the situation.
Best wishes,

Creepy Neighbor Next Door

Dear Revenge Guy,

I need help with a horrible neighbor.

I bought my 1.5 acre lot about 4 years ago. The neighbor had lived on his lot for about 8 years, and I guess was the first one in the area. So he thinks he can dictate to you what you are going to do with your property.

First, he started sneaking over and looking in the windows with the excuse that he was "checking up on me".. I made it clear he needed to stop. Then he told me I couldn't put up a fence because he uses my yard to walk across to the next door neighbors. We put up the fence and he threw a fit.

Then he told us we couldn't plant trees. We live in Arizona, and his point was water preservation. I pointed out to him that his (eyesore) yard has citrus trees all over, which are not native, and we were planning on planting Mesquite trees which require little water.

He is "christian" and plays his talk radio Rush Limbaugh and Christian Network the loudest he can, so we usually turn on our Country music and point the radio his direction. Well, apparently this antagonized him. He told my son (10 years old) that we were going to burn in hell and that the world was going to end. I told him to keep his religious beliefs to himself.

Where we live we can burn brush as long as it's not a bonfire. He burns himself. We were burning one day and he told my son we were idiots, so I told my son not to play at his house anymore. Then he called the sheriff the day after we burned and told them we were burning furniture! of course, the complaint was dropped because it wasn't furniture and the sheriff could see that.

So I decided to call the county, because he has a second mobile home on his lot, he got a permit and called it a "shed" but I wanted to see if it could be removed because it's full of pack rats, rattlesnakes and woodpeckers, as well as a hive of bees.

This set him off and he confronted me telling me he was going to call the DOT on us. We have 4 cars, but all are registered and licensed, so not sure what his basis is. Then said he was going to call the county for everything and anything we do.

We recently got permits to build two porches. He stands at the property line and just stares. when we left, he told the guy that was leveling the area for the porch that he was creating too much dust. Then he filed a complaint with the county that we were grading without a permit. It was hardly grading. It was leveling the area for the porch.

My husband was in the yard today digging holes to plant trees, and the neighbor stood on his porch just staring. He's creepy and I want him to get the message that he's messing with the wrong girl without inflaming the situation and making it worse. After he filed the grading complaint he has kept his radio low, he must have found out from the county that he couldn't do that.

We are going to build a shed to block his view of our porch, and plant some oleanders along the property line, but I would just love to do something else.
What is your advise,
Burned in Arizona

 Hi Burned,
When he watches set up a video camera to record him.
Be obvious about it.

When your shed is up attach some fake plastic surveillance cameras to it, to "watch" the property line now that it is out of view.

Add a couple of lights that are on timers that you can set to go on and off all night long… let him "see the light" before you burn in hell…LOL
Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

Document everything, I see this being a long battle with him so you need to keep him on a short leash by recording everything he does, complains about and threatens you with. Goodness only knows what goes on inside his household, keep your son out of there!

And for the heck of it, post some "yard sale" signs around town so that people can come and visit with him every few weeks or so.

Best wishes,

Adult Group Home Neighbors and White Trash Landlord

Hello Revenge Guy,
I would like to get even with the man who owns the house next to ours.

When we first moved in 8 years ago, the house seemed pleasant enough – we were told that it was a rental and met the owner.

After our first few months of being in the house, things changed.

The owner put in a second driveway where he parks his landscaping business equipment and supplies which have attracted rats. He has completely let the yard on the property go and we found out that he is renting to an unlicensed adult family home. The employees of this home are rude and consistently block our driveway access. They do not supervise the clients of the home and we’ve had to deal with clients vomiting in the yard, running screaming and yelling in the streets and the police and fire departments being called to the home on a regular basis.

Complaints to the city about his landscaping equipment (he’s violating a city ordinance by parking his trucks on the property) and the Department of Health (about the lack of supervision at the home) have gotten us nowhere and were thinking that it’s a lost cause and we should just sell.

Meanwhile, the property owner is unresponsive to our complaints.

We found out that he lives in a nice little house overlooking the ocean – we know that his neighbors would be mortified to have to live next door to what we’ve been dealing with.

I’ve thought about taking photos of this eyesore with a description of what’s been going on and mailing them anonymously to his neighbors to let them know what a “gem” of a guy this jerk is. Got any better ideas?
Pissed Off

Hi Pissed Off,
It's nice to have shitty neighbors, eh? Especially shitty landlord neighbors that rent to crappy people and just don't care.

First off, report this "adult home" to any and all agencies you can think of. Federal, state, municipal, police, local councilman, all of them. Talk to the newspapers too.

Take pictures, get the name of the place and create a Facebook or MySpace page for them. record some videos and create a account to post them. use the guy's real name and his neighbors will find out about his absentee landlord practices.

Take pictures and post them on fences, trees, poles, bulletin boards, everywhere and title the page "Is this how you want to live?", put a picture of the home under that, and the guy's name and address and phone number under that.
Let him squirm and open his neighbors eyes up!

Mail them to the above federal/state/local agencies too.

Hell, email me a picture and I'll post it here:

Pictures page

( I created this page on my site after reading your email, so send
me a pic and some details, ok?)

Embarrass the fuck out of this guy…. that's the only way to get revenge because when a guy doesn't care about his landlord duties the only thing that gets under his skin is what his friends/neighbors think of him and that the law might crack down on him.

So get to work, start posting the pics, videos, all of it!

"Trespassing, Complaining About My Dogs" Jackhole Neighbor

Dear Revenge Guy,
I'm in a desperate situation. My neighbors have finally crossed the line from obnoxious to full-out war. And they have the law on their side. But let me start at the beginning.

We have lived next to them for what, 13 years perhaps. Throughout that time they have committed egregious acts, but we have generally looked the other way in favor of friendship.

For instance, years ago they had a sleepover. They had tents in the yards and the kids had all their friends over. They were up giggling and running around all night, and we didn't call the police.

They came into our yard and cut the lower branches off of a tree, unwanted. We said nothing.

They came into our yard and threw chlorine tablets into our pool, unwanted. We said nothing.

He attacked our gutters, unwanted. We said nothing.

At 7AM they are up hammering on the roof or building a stupid little shed. They had a ladder so well-positioned that they could see into a high window in my mother's room. They did wake me up at least once. (We did eventually call the police once, but for some reason it is legal between the hours of 7AM and 11PM)

But recently we got another dog. Unfortunately she barks a lot. She's still young though. We let her out for a short period of time, and yes, she makes noise. But this is where these jackholes cross the line.

The first came when the police came to our house. Apparently the jackhole next door called… because they were outside IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. It isn't like we leave her out overnight. But apparently "his son was trying to relax".

The other day he claimed he saw the dog kill a bird. He said that he had called the police and that they were sending someone over this Tuesday. This did not happen. Needless to say, we also never found evidence to confirm this unlikelihood. The dog wasn't even out very long, once again.

But today was the last straw. The dogs were out once again in the middle of the day for a short time, and they called the police. This officer was a real douche, and I wish I could get revenge on him too. He made up a bunch of lies, and then he wrote my sister a misdemeanor, who was completely innocent. My mom wasn't home, so how cowardly of them. I only let the dogs out once all day, and in that short time he called the police. Coward. He doesn't have the balls to come over and talk to us.

Sadly the law on "barking and howling" dogs is written in stone – it grants the officer so much discretion that we can't fight it. Despite another pig abusing his power and the neighbor making up a crock to get them out here.

This is the price we pay for being nice people. Well, enough's enough. I will go to any length to destroy this man. The only reason we can think of that he's become such a grouch lately is because he's out of work at the moment. Plus he hates us because we have what is to him too many animals, and our house isn't perfectly neat like his is.

Unfortunately, we never had security cameras, so we can't take him to court on trespassing, and there's no way we'd win a harassment charge. Like I said the law is on their side. I've been mulling ways to get back at him since he first called the police like last year, but now it must happen. It's on. We were never out to harm anyone. Our little, broken family always went out of it's way to be good, and we always let ourselves get walked over. This is the last straw. I will do all I can to mete out the justice that society would deny me. It's no wonder his kids have problems.

So I need some really viable options to protect my family from this maniac, preferably by putting him in his place once and for all.

Hi Bullied,
I feel your pain.
I have three dogs (municipal law says I can only have two), and dogs bark.
And neighbors complain.

So, what I have set up is the Lentek Bark Free ultrasonic training device that emits an ultrasonic sound so they dogs know that if they bark they get buzzed, when there's no barking there's no buzzing.

So, this trains the dogs, all is good on my side.

Plus, there is an audible setting so that when the dogs bark there is a second buzzing noise that tells me the Bark Free has sounded to remind the dogs to stop barking.

The neighbors hate the buzzing as much as the dogs do, but I don't care, I tell the cop I'm doing what I can, he walks away, no ticket.

Now that that is settled, you need to start a journal of what the hell this guy and his family are doing.

Write down everything. Take video and pictures of your place monthly, detailing changes that have happened.

Get a security system, it's only a couple of hundred, less that a lawyer… which you'll need after catching this guy trespassing anyways.

You could use a service to call him up and say you're from local law enforcement and need to talk to him about some trespassing charges… let him stew on that. Give him a verbal warning.

Talk to your other neighbors, surely you're not his only target. Neighborhood bullies attack all they see. Get the details, form a committee against this asshole.

Aim a telescope at his window, let him feel he's being watched. I bet a friend has one they aren't using anymore so you can just borrow it for a couple of weeks.

Yes, building noise is allowed during 7am to 11pm in most places…. but what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Rent a jackhammer or something and let it rip right at 7am.

Or mow your lawn…. race your engine… something. And do it regular like clockwork, same time and same day of the week for a couple of months.

You have to MAKE justice in this world… the guy/group with the loudest voice always wins because so few people stand up for themselves or what is right. Look at low voter turnout for proof of this concept.

I could go on with more stuff to do, but protection against this creep comes first, don't you agree?
Best wishes,

My Neighbor Is A Thief!

Dear Revenge Guy,
I have this neighbour, and he's a complete asshole…

While we're outside, we can hear him shouting and yelling out the door and at us even for being too loud.

He complains that our dog ruins his lawn, even though he takes fertilizer for our lawn and uses it to plant his own trees.

I'd like to get revenge on him for being so loud and stealing fertilizer from us.

Hi R,
If the guy is intent on stealing your stuff for his lawn, why not give him a real treat?

In your next bag of fertilizer put in the bottom of it some ground beef, bacon drippings, whatever you wouldn’t put into a composter. Add some tampons and pads after they’ve been sprinkled with ketchup.

And just in case he’s had enough fertilizer use a bag of premium top soil to get his attention.

And as an added bonus, include a letter saying that “You have stolen this bag of XXX from us and we now have the proof. If you ever harass us again the police will be called and we will prosecute you.”

That should do it.

Best wishes,

Delirious From Lack Of Sleep

Hello Revenge God!

I need MAJOR help. My neighbors suck!

Let me preface by saying that I am generally very laid back, a
partier myself, but this is just way tooo much. I live in an
apartment community and My upstairs neighbors are extremely loud —
all day and night.

It is not the normal noise of someone above you. They sit on their
balcony all day during the day (I work from home) screaming over the
balcony throwing their cigarette buts off onto the grass and things
end up landing on my balcony.

They smoke pot that comes into my apartment.

They are fat and truck through their apartment like they are damn doing gymnastics up there, which I know they are not (please see the fat comment and sitting on their balcony all day long!).

The girl sits on her cell phone again on the balcony so the entire neighborhood can hear her conversation. And they are doing this from about 10 am until 2 am almost every day, depending on the day.

I think they are students and that is why they don't care. I mean I will be in my apartment and I can hear them pull up in their raggedy car and enter the building up the stairs that is how loud they are, thump thump thump up the stairwell, which is not even next to my apartment and we live in a VERY nice EXPENSIVE apartment community — it is not a lower income area or place that you would expect this.

So.. what have I done thus far?

I have complained to the leasing office on 8 separate occasions, including the pot smoking and noise.

The problem with the pot, is you can't really catch them in the act b/c by the time someone comes, they are done with the joint. I have made two different police calls for noise complaints.

Sometimes it is not late enough for me to call the cops, if they are being this ridiculous during the day, I am not sure I can complain about the noise. My apartment complex says "they deny all actions" — which OF COURSE THEY DO! Wouldn't you?

So they say there is nothing they can do. Of course they don't want to evict someone in this economy right?

I have a lease until March and for my sanity and lack of sleep I am getting, I need to do something! I want them out out out! What can I do? Please help!

Delirious from no sleep!


You need to start a journal right now and detail everything they do. Dates, times, witnesses, calls you make.

Get a copy of your lease (I'm sure it's the same type the upstairs assholes would have signed) and read it for what violates the lease. Management companies don't really like to kick anyone out, but if you can prove they should be, then they'll likely act then.

Talk with your neighbors, I'm sure you're not the only one mad at these idiots, and having more than one person/apartment complaining together will make them act much more quickly to get them out.

Video tape words wonders, if you don't have a camera to capture sound and scene, then borrow one form a friend or buy one. This will make much more convincing proof of the actions of the pigs upstairs.

With all of the above start a complete war on getting them evicted.

It will take some work, but you can do it!

You're not going to scare them out, pigs like this don't mind sitting in their own slop.

And for immediate revenge, when they are out:

  • Spray their front door with liquid ass, spray their car door handless too.
  • Fill a large manila envelope (8.5 x 11 or larger) with a cup of confetti, add the confetti and squeeze the envelope so that it has a pocket of air, slide the open end of the envelope under their door and press down, shooting the confetti into their place.
  • Start a website (use and select the "private registration" option, no one will know it's you) and tell crude things about them, using their real names… let them live with internet stink on their reputations for the rest of their lives (use a public computer when doing this, never use your home or office computer in case they can track the IP address)
  • push wooden toothpicks into their locks and break them off
  • follow them shopping and report them to store security as possible shoplifters
  • post ads in local places about a room for rent, cheap, and help wanted, top dollar jobs, and add their phone number to it. For extra credit, say it's a night shift job and only call after 2:00am)

This should get you started, right?

Good luck!

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