The Revenge GuyYou Can't Choose Your Family and You Can't
Choose Your Neighbors: More Revenge Advice From
The Revenge Guy

I love new neighbors… you treat them nice and they try to fuck up
your lives
after that… So let's GET EVEN!


My Neighbor Is Destroying My Property

Revenge Guy,

We have really enjoyed reading your posts in the past but this is
not your ordinary lover simple answer!

We have a challenging situation and may even be a bit difficult to

Our neighbor who moved into a horse community neighborhood was able
to secure a license to have a Cabinet Business next door to our

The county approved him 'even after he was found to have been in
operation 8 years without a business license and illegally enlarged
a building, had a spray booth without proper ventilation, had over
15 fire code violations, had big diesel trucks next to our driveway
and forklifts beeping shaking our home & windows and scaring our
livestock so they would run.

This man has 5 acres and he has spent so much time and been at our
property line continually and provoked and caused so many problems
that we have pictures and documented that the Court Judge with our
documentation and pictures has enforced an anti-harassment order.

This neighbor has also created a ditch with a culvert in the wooded
area of wetlands and made a ditch and has drained water/ gray water/
toxic chemicals/ in a tube and ran it under ground into our property
( We had a culvert on top of our property and it has disappeared now
under the ground. Our Giant Evergreens 75 + feet high have lost most
of their full foliage turned brown dying, (his side only) and he has
chopped the limbs off on one side (his side) sticking the limbs cut
into our fence as trophies and has been moving our fence line in on
our property.

The county said they cant see the underground tank he put in to
drain the water into our pasture that has been over 5 feet high and
has flooded our barn. So they cant make him dig it up.

Now we are up 500 feet up a hill, no flooding here but he has taken
his wetlands and drained them into our property, drying his and
flooding ours.

We called EPA and conservation and we are waiting.

By the way the last business was also a cabinet business shut down
there because of illegal dumping chemicals.

This guy is an arrogant and intimidates and yells over the fence and
runs when ready to confront!

We bought this place because it was completely private years before
he showed up. He has tried to ruin our privacy we lost several
animals due to questionable circumstances, all these animals were
healthy and young.

We are very good pet owners having been 4H sponsors and leaders.
This guy moved into a farm neighborhood and has no pets and doesn't
like them. Here is a picture of the drain area with spiked logs.

How would you go about removing such a scourge like this (the person
scourge) now picture your child running after a pet with his open
gate open all the time and tripping on this spiked speared logs and
falling on these?
Now you know how we feel!

You're right, this is a hard one to answer.

A man's property is sacrosanct but this guy has definitely crossed
the line hugely.

There should be some older property lines/allotment property values
stored by the county for the property as it was when first
registered. Maybe there is the information you need to prove all
that this guy has done. I'd look into the old county records

You've done right to document all that he has done, maybe the local
conservation groups can get involved to help you fight this guy and
the destruction he has caused. Make some enquiries.

Look for a lawyer to help you in a property fight over the damage he
has done as well… if you don't find a lawyer right away, bide your
time and keep documenting what is happening, you will find one
sooner or later. Pictures, video, and a journal.

Talk to newspapers too… this might make a good local story.

Usually guys like this are only pushed into another place by heavy
attention, make that happen, even if it means you start slowly with
a website and an online journal.

Are there other neighbors that this guy is also offending and
destroying property? If he has other neighbors talk to them, if not,
look at who owns that land opposite him and talk to the owners or
county about that property and if there are any records about it's
state of being.

I wish I had some real revenge that would make this guy move away
instantly, but these types thrive on being the bully, so I don't
think he'd easily be tricked into a situation that would
automatically make him forfeit his land.
But you might have more input here than I.

I have published your story here:


and the photo that you sent me here:


Maybe this will help to shine some light on the situation.
Best wishes,

Creepy Neighbor Next Door

Revenge Guy,

I need help with a horrible neighbor.

I bought my 1.5 acre lot about 4 years ago. The neighbor had lived
on his lot for about 8 years, and I guess was the first one in the
area. So he thinks he can dictate to you what you are going to do
with your property.

First, he started sneaking over and looking in the windows with the
excuse that he was "checking up on me".. I made it clear he needed
to stop. Then he told me I couldn't put up a fence because he uses
my yard to walk across to the next door neighbors. We put up the
fence and he threw a fit.

Then he told us we couldn't plant trees. We live in Arizona, and his
point was water preservation. I pointed out to him that his
(eyesore) yard has citrus trees all over, which are not native, and
we were planning on planting Mesquite trees which require little

He is "christian" and plays his talk radio Rush Limbaugh and
Christian Network the loudest he can, so we usually turn on our
Country music and point the radio his direction. Well, apparently
this antagonized him. He told my son (10 years old) that we were
going to burn in hell and that the world was going to end. I told
him to keep his religious beliefs to himself.

Where we live we can burn brush as long as it's not a bonfire. He
burns himself. We were burning one day and he told my son we were
idiots, so I told my son not to play at his house anymore. Then he
called the sheriff the day after we burned and told them we were
burning furniture! of course, the complaint was dropped because it
wasn't furniture and the sheriff could see that.

So I decided to call the county, because he has a second mobile home
on his lot, he got a permit and called it a "shed" but I wanted to
see if it could be removed because it's full of pack rats,
rattlesnakes and woodpeckers, as well as a hive of bees.

This set him off and he confronted me telling me he was going to
call the DOT on us. We have 4 cars, but all are registered and
licensed, so not sure what his basis is. Then said he was going to
call the county for everything and anything we do.

We recently got permits to build two porches. He stands at the
property line and just stares. when we left, he told the guy that
was leveling the area for the porch that he was creating too much
dust. Then he filed a complaint with the county that we were grading
without a permit. It was hardly grading. It was leveling the area
for the porch.

My husband was in the yard today digging holes to plant trees, and
the neighbor stood on his porch just staring. He's creepy and I want
him to get the message that he's messing with the wrong girl without
inflaming the situation and making it worse. After he filed the
grading complaint he has kept his radio low, he must have found out
from the county that he couldn't do that.

We are going to build a shed to block his view of our porch, and
plant some oleanders along the property line, but I would just love
to do something else.
What is your advise,
Burned in Arizona

When he watches set up a video camera to record him.
Be obvious about it.

When your shed is up attach some fake plastic surveillance cameras
to it, to "watch" the property line now that it is out of view.

Add a couple of lights that are on timers that you can set to go on
and off all night long… let him "see the light" before you burn in
Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

Document everything, I see this being a long battle with him so you
need to keep him on a short leash by recording everything he does,
complains about and threatens you with. Goodness only knows what
goes on inside his household, keep your son out of there!

And for the heck of it, post some "yard sale" signs around town so
that people can come and visit with him every few weeks or so.

Best wishes,

Adult Group Home Neighbors and White Trash Landlord

Revenge Guy,
I would like to get even with the man who owns the house
next to ours.

When we first moved in 8 years ago, the house seemed pleasant enough
– we were told that it was a rental and met the owner.

After our first few months of being in the house, things changed.

The owner put in a second driveway where he parks his landscaping
business equipment and supplies which have attracted rats. He has
completely let the yard on the property go and we found out that he
is renting to an unlicensed adult family home. The employees of this
home are rude and consistently block our driveway access. They do
not supervise the clients of the home and we’ve had to deal with
clients vomiting in the yard, running screaming and yelling in the
streets and the police and fire departments being called to the home
on a regular basis.

Complaints to the city about his landscaping equipment (he’s
violating a city ordinance by parking his trucks on the property)
and the Department of Health (about the lack of supervision at the
home) have gotten us nowhere and were thinking that it’s a lost
cause and we should just sell.

Meanwhile, the property owner is unresponsive to our complaints.

We found out that he lives in a nice little house overlooking the
ocean – we know that his neighbors would be mortified to have to
live next door to what we’ve been dealing with.

I’ve thought about taking photos of this eyesore with a description
of what’s been going on and mailing them anonymously to his
neighbors to let them know what a “gem” of a guy this jerk is. Got
any better ideas?
Pissed Off

Pissed Off,
It's nice to have shitty neighbors, eh? Especially shitty
landlord neighbors that rent to crappy people and just don't care.

First off, report this "adult home" to any and all agencies you can
think of. Federal, state, municipal, police, local councilman, all
of them. Talk to the newspapers too.

Take pictures, get the name of the place and create a Facebook or
MySpace page for them. record some videos and create a
account to post them. use the guy's real name and his neighbors will
find out about his absentee landlord practices.

Take pictures and post them on fences, trees, poles, bulletin
boards, everywhere and title the page "Is this how you want to
live?", put a picture of the home under that, and the guy's name and
address and phone number under that.
Let him squirm and open his neighbors eyes up!

Mail them to the above federal/state/local agencies too.

Hell, email me a picture and I'll post it here:

Pictures page

( I created this page on my site after reading your email, so send
me a pic and some details, ok?)

Embarrass the fuck out of this guy…. that's the only way to get
revenge because when a guy doesn't care about his landlord duties
the only thing that gets under his skin is what his
friends/neighbors think of him and that the law might crack down on

So get to work, start posting the pics, videos, all of it!

"Trespassing, Complaining About My Dogs" Jackhole Neighbor

Dear Revenge Guy,
I'm in a desperate situation. My neighbors have finally
crossed the line from obnoxious to full-out war. And they have the
law on their side. But let me start at the beginning.

We have lived next to them for what, 13 years perhaps. Throughout
that time they have committed egregious acts, but we have generally
looked the other way in favor of friendship.

For instance, years ago they had a sleepover. They had tents in the
yards and the kids had all their friends over. They were up giggling
and running around all night, and we didn't call the police.

They came into our yard and cut the lower branches off of a tree,
unwanted. We said nothing.

They came into our yard and threw chlorine tablets into our pool,
unwanted. We said nothing.

He attacked our gutters, unwanted. We said nothing.

At 7AM they are up hammering on the roof or building a stupid little
shed. They had a ladder so well-positioned that they could see into
a high window in my mother's room. They did wake me up at least
once. (We did eventually call the police once, but for some reason
it is legal between the hours of 7AM and 11PM)

But recently we got another dog. Unfortunately she barks a lot.
She's still young though. We let her out for a short period of time,
and yes, she makes noise. But this is where these jackholes cross
the line.

The first came when the police came to our house. Apparently the
jackhole next door called… because they were outside IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE DAY. It isn't like we leave her out overnight. But apparently
"his son was trying to relax".

The other day he claimed he saw the dog kill a bird. He said that he
had called the police and that they were sending someone over this
Tuesday. This did not happen. Needless to say, we also never found
evidence to confirm this unlikelihood. The dog wasn't even out very
long, once again.

But today was the last straw. The dogs were out once again in the
middle of the day for a short time, and they called the police. This
officer was a real douche, and I wish I could get revenge on him
too. He made up a bunch of lies, and then he wrote my sister a
misdemeanor, who was completely innocent. My mom wasn't home, so how
cowardly of them. I only let the dogs out once all day, and in that
short time he called the police. Coward. He doesn't have the balls
to come over and talk to us.

Sadly the law on "barking and howling" dogs is written in stone – it
grants the officer so much discretion that we can't fight it.
Despite another pig abusing his power and the neighbor making up a
crock to get them out here.

This is the price we pay for being nice people. Well, enough's
enough. I will go to any length to destroy this man. The only reason
we can think of that he's become such a grouch lately is because
he's out of work at the moment. Plus he hates us because we have
what is to him too many animals, and our house isn't perfectly neat
like his is.

Unfortunately, we never had security cameras, so we can't take him
to court on trespassing, and there's no way we'd win a harassment
charge. Like I said the law is on their side. I've been mulling ways
to get back at him since he first called the police like last year,
but now it must happen. It's on. We were never out to harm anyone.
Our little, broken family always went out of it's way to be good,
and we always let ourselves get walked over. This is the last straw.
I will do all I can to mete out the justice that society would deny
me. It's no wonder his kids have problems.

So I need some really viable options to protect my family from this
maniac, preferably by putting him in his place once and for all.


I feel your pain.
I have three dogs (municipal law says I can only have two), and dogs
And neighbors complain.

So, what I have set up is the Lentek Bark Free ultrasonic training
device that emits an ultrasonic sound so they dogs know that if they
bark they get buzzed, when there's no barking there's no buzzing.

So, this trains the dogs, all is good on my side.

Plus, there is an audible setting so that when the dogs bark there
is a second buzzing noise that tells me the Bark Free has sounded to
remind the dogs to stop barking.

The neighbors hate the buzzing as much as the dogs do, but I don't
care, I tell the cop I'm doing what I can, he walks away, no ticket.
So try that first:

The Revenge Guy shopping page

Now that that is settled, you need to start a journal of what the
hell this guy and his family are doing.

Write down everything. Take video and pictures of your place
monthly, detailing changes that have happened.

Get a security system, it's only a couple of hundred, less that a
lawyer… which you'll need after catching this guy trespassing

You could use to call him up and say you're from
local law enforcement and need to talk to him about some trespassing
charges… let him stew on that. Give him a verbal warning.

Talk to your other neighbors, surely you're not his only target.
Neighborhood bullies attack all they see. Get the details, form a
committee against this asshole.

Aim a telescope at his window, let him feel he's being watched. I
bet a friend has one they aren't using anymore so you can just
borrow it for a couple of weeks.

Yes, building noise is allowed during 7am to 11pm in most places….
but what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Rent a
jackhammer or something and let it rip right at 7am.

Or mow your lawn…. race your engine… something. And do it
regular like clockwork, same time and same day of the week for a
couple of months.

You have to MAKE justice in this world… the guy/group with the
loudest voice always wins because so few people stand up for
themselves or what is right. Look at low voter turnout for proof of
this concept.

I could go on with more stuff to do, but protection against this
creep comes first, don't you agree?
Best wishes,

My Neighbor Is A Thief!

Revenge Guy,
I have this neighbour, and he's a complete asshole…

While we're outside, we can hear him shouting and yelling out the
door and at us even for being too loud.

He complains that our dog ruins his lawn, even though he takes
fertilizer for our lawn and uses it to plant his own trees.

I'd like to get revenge on him for being so loud and stealing
fertilizer from us.


If the guy is intent on stealing your stuff for his
lawn, why not give him a real treat?

In your next bag of
fertilizer put in the bottom of it some ground beef, bacon
drippings, whatever you wouldn’t put into a composter. Add some
tampons and pads after they’ve been sprinkled with ketchup.

And just in case he’s had enough fertilizer use a bag of premium top
soil to get his attention.

And as an added bonus, include a
letter saying that “You have stolen this bag of XXX from us and we
now have the proof. If you ever harass us again the police will be
called and we will prosecute you.”

That should do it.

Best wishes,

Delirious From Lack Of Sleep

Hello Revenge God!

I need MAJOR help. My neighbors suck!

Let me preface by saying that I am generally very laid back, a
partier myself, but this is just way tooo much. I live in an
apartment community and My upstairs neighbors are extremely loud —
all day and night.

It is not the normal noise of someone above you. They sit on their
balcony all day during the day (I work from home) screaming over the
balcony throwing their cigarette buts off onto the grass and things
end up landing on my balcony.

They smoke pot that comes into my apartment.

They are fat and truck through their apartment like they are damn
doing gymnastics up there, which I know they are not (please see the
fat comment and sitting on their balcony all day long!).

The girl sits on her cell phone again on the balcony so the entire
neighborhood can hear her conversation. And they are doing this from
about 10 am until 2 am almost every day, depending on the day.

I think they are students and that is why they don't care. I mean I
will be in my apartment and I can hear them pull up in their raggedy
car and enter the building up the stairs that is how loud they are,
thump thump thump up the stairwell, which is not even next to my
apartment and we live in a VERY nice EXPENSIVE apartment community
— it is not a lower income area or place that you would expect

So.. what have I done thus far?

I have complained to the leasing office on 8 separate occasions,
including the pot smoking and noise.

The problem with the pot, is you can't really catch them in the act
b/c by the time someone comes, they are done with the joint. I have
made two different police calls for noise complaints.

Sometimes it is not late enough for me to call the cops, if they are
being this ridiculous during the day, I am not sure I can complain
about the noise. My apartment complex says "they deny all actions"
— which OF COURSE THEY DO! Wouldn't you?

So they say there is nothing they can do. Of course they don't want
to evict someone in this economy right?

I have a lease until March and for my sanity and lack of sleep I am
getting, I need to do something! I want them out out out! What can I
do? Please help!

Delirious from no sleep!


You need to start a journal right now and detail everything they do.
Dates, times, witnesses, calls you make.

Get a copy of your lease (I'm sure it's the same type the upstairs
assholes would have signed) and read it for what violates the lease.
Management companies don't really like to kick anyone out, but if
you can prove they should be, then they'll likely act then.

Talk with your neighbors, I'm sure you're not the only one mad at
these idiots, and having more than one person/apartment complaining
together will make them act much more quickly to get them out.

Video tape words wonders, if you don't have a camera to capture
sound and scene, then borrow one form a friend or buy one. This will
make much more convincing proof of the actions of the pigs upstairs.

With all of the above start a complete war on getting them evicted.

It will take some work, but you can do it!

You're not going to scare them out, pigs like this don't mind
sitting in their own slop.

And for immediate revenge, when they are out:

  • Spray their front door with liquid ass, spray their car door
    handless too.
  • Fill a large manila envelope (8.5 x 11 or larger) with a cup
    of confetti, add the confetti and squeeze the envelope so that
    it has a pocket of air, slide the open end of the envelope under
    their door and press down, shooting the confetti into their
  • Use to call them up at 3:00am and ask
    them if they need to re-finance their car, or need auto
    insurance (you can change the caller id to anything you like,
    record the call to enjoy later)
  • Start a website (use and
    select the "private registration" option, no one will know it's
    you) and tell crude things about them, using their real names…
    let them live with internet stink on their reputations for the
    rest of their lives (use a public computer when doing this,
    never use your home or office computer in case they can track
    the IP address)
    (note: when a business pisses you off, take a look at this site
    for an idea:
  • push wooden toothpicks into their locks and break them off
  • follow them shopping and report them to store security as
    possible shoplifters
  • post ads in local places about a room for rent, cheap, and
    help wanted, top dollar jobs, and add their phone number to it.
    For extra credit, say it's a night shift job and only call after

This should get you started, right?

Good luck!

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