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Neighbors: You Can’t Choose Them!

Please do The Revenge Guy a favor and share this story!

I love new neighbors… you treat them nice and they try to fuck up your lives after that… So let’s GET EVEN! 


My Neighbor Is Destroying My Property

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
We have really enjoyed reading your posts in the past but this is not your ordinary lover simple answer!

We have a challenging situation and may even be a bit difficult to answer!

Our neighbor who moved into a horse community neighborhood was able to secure a license to have a Cabinet Business next door to our home!

The county approved him ‘even after he was found to have been in operation 8 years without a business license and illegally enlarged a building, had a spray booth without proper ventilation, had over 15 fire code violations, had big diesel trucks next to our driveway and forklifts beeping shaking our home & windows and scaring our livestock so they would run.

This man has 5 acres and he has spent so much time and been at our property line continually and provoked and caused so many problems that we have pictures and documented that the Court Judge with our documentation and pictures has enforced an anti-harassment order.

This neighbor has also created a ditch with a culvert in the wooded area of wetlands and made a ditch and has drained water/ gray water/ toxic chemicals/ in a tube and ran it under ground into our property ( We had a culvert on top of our property and it has disappeared now under the ground. Our Giant Evergreens 75 + feet high have lost most of their full foliage turned brown dying, (his side only) and he has chopped the limbs off on one side (his side) sticking the limbs cut into our fence as trophies and has been moving our fence line in on our property.

The county said they cant see the underground tank he put in to drain the water into our pasture that has been over 5 feet high and has flooded our barn. So they cant make him dig it up.

Now we are up 500 feet up a hill, no flooding here but he has taken his wetlands and drained them into our property, drying his and flooding ours.

We called EPA and conservation and we are waiting.

By the way the last business was also a cabinet business shut down there because of illegal dumping chemicals.

This guy is an arrogant and intimidates and yells over the fence and runs when ready to confront!

We bought this place because it was completely private years before he showed up. He has tried to ruin our privacy we lost several animals due to questionable circumstances, all these animals were healthy and young.

We are very good pet owners having been 4H sponsors and leaders. This guy moved into a farm neighborhood and has no pets and doesn’t like them. Here is a picture of the drain area with spiked logs.

How would you go about removing such a scourge like this (the person scourge) now picture your child running after a pet with his open gate open all the time and tripping on this spiked speared logs and falling on these?
Now you know how we feel!

You’re right, this is a hard one to answer.

A man’s property is sacrosanct but this guy has definitely crossed the line hugely.

There should be some older property lines/allotment property values stored by the county for the property as it was when first registered. Maybe there is the information you need to prove all that this guy has done. I’d look into the old county records carefully.

You’ve done right to document all that he has done, maybe the local conservation groups can get involved to help you fight this guy and the destruction he has caused. Make some enquiries.

Look for a lawyer to help you in a property fight over the damage he has done as well… if you don’t find a lawyer right away, bide your time and keep documenting what is happening, you will find one sooner or later. Pictures, video, and a journal.

Talk to newspapers too… this might make a good local story.

Usually guys like this are only pushed into another place by heavy attention, make that happen, even if it means you start slowly with a website and an online journal.

Are there other neighbors that this guy is also offending and destroying property? If he has other neighbors talk to them, if not, look at who owns that land opposite him and talk to the owners or county about that property and if there are any records about it’s state of being.

I wish I had some real revenge that would make this guy move away instantly, but these types thrive on being the bully, so I don’t think he’d easily be tricked into a situation that would automatically make him forfeit his land.
But you might have more input here than I.

I have published your story here and the photo that you sent me.

Maybe this will help to shine some light on the situation.
Best wishes,

Creepy Neighbor Next Door

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I need help with a horrible neighbor.

I bought my 1.5 acre lot about 4 years ago. The neighbor had lived on his lot for about 8 years, and I guess was the first one in the area. So he thinks he can dictate to you what you are going to do with your property.

First, he started sneaking over and looking in the windows with the excuse that he was “checking up on me”.. I made it clear he needed to stop. Then he told me I couldn’t put up a fence because he uses my yard to walk across to the next door neighbors. We put up the fence and he threw a fit.

Then he told us we couldn’t plant trees. We live in Arizona, and his point was water preservation. I pointed out to him that his (eyesore) yard has citrus trees all over, which are not native, and we were planning on planting Mesquite trees which require little water.

He is “christian” and plays his talk radio Rush Limbaugh and Christian Network the loudest he can, so we usually turn on our Country music and point the radio his direction. Well, apparently this antagonized him. He told my son (10 years old) that we were going to burn in hell and that the world was going to end. I told him to keep his religious beliefs to himself.

Where we live we can burn brush as long as it’s not a bonfire. He burns himself. We were burning one day and he told my son we were idiots, so I told my son not to play at his house anymore. Then he called the sheriff the day after we burned and told them we were burning furniture! of course, the complaint was dropped because it wasn’t furniture and the sheriff could see that.

So I decided to call the county, because he has a second mobile home on his lot, he got a permit and called it a “shed” but I wanted to see if it could be removed because it’s full of pack rats, rattlesnakes and woodpeckers, as well as a hive of bees.

This set him off and he confronted me telling me he was going to call the DOT on us. We have 4 cars, but all are registered and licensed, so not sure what his basis is. Then said he was going to call the county for everything and anything we do.

We recently got permits to build two porches. He stands at the property line and just stares. when we left, he told the guy that was leveling the area for the porch that he was creating too much dust. Then he filed a complaint with the county that we were grading without a permit. It was hardly grading. It was leveling the area for the porch.

My husband was in the yard today digging holes to plant trees, and the neighbor stood on his porch just staring. He’s creepy and I want him to get the message that he’s messing with the wrong girl without inflaming the situation and making it worse. After he filed the grading complaint he has kept his radio low, he must have found out from the county that he couldn’t do that.

We are going to build a shed to block his view of our porch, and plant some oleanders along the property line, but I would just love to do something else.
What is your advise,
Burned in Arizona

Hi Burned,
When he watches set up a video camera to record him.
Be obvious about it.

When your shed is up attach some fake plastic surveillance cameras to it, to “watch” the property line now that it is out of view.

Add a couple of lights that are on timers that you can set to go on and off all night long… let him “see the light” before you burn in hell…LOL
Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.

Document everything, I see this being a long battle with him so you need to keep him on a short leash by recording everything he does, complains about and threatens you with. Goodness only knows what goes on inside his household, keep your son out of there!

And for the heck of it, post some “yard sale” signs around town so that people can come and visit with him every few weeks or so.
Best wishes,

Adult Group Home Neighbors and White Trash Landlord

Dear Revenge GuyHello Revenge Guy,
I would like to get even with the man who owns the house next to ours.

When we first moved in 8 years ago, the house seemed pleasant enough – we were told that it was a rental and met the owner.

After our first few months of being in the house, things changed.

The owner put in a second driveway where he parks his landscaping business equipment and supplies which have attracted rats. He has completely let the yard on the property go and we found out that he is renting to an unlicensed adult family home. The employees of this home are rude and consistently block our driveway access. They do not supervise the clients of the home and we’ve had to deal with clients vomiting in the yard, running screaming and yelling in the streets and the police and fire departments being called to the home on a regular basis.

Complaints to the city about his landscaping equipment (he’s violating a city ordinance by parking his trucks on the property) and the Department of Health (about the lack of supervision at the home) have gotten us nowhere and were thinking that it’s a lost cause and we should just sell.

Meanwhile, the property owner is unresponsive to our complaints.

We found out that he lives in a nice little house overlooking the ocean – we know that his neighbors would be mortified to have to live next door to what we’ve been dealing with.

I’ve thought about taking photos of this eyesore with a description of what’s been going on and mailing them anonymously to his neighbors to let them know what a “gem” of a guy this jerk is. Got any better ideas?
Pissed Off

Hi Pissed Off,
It’s nice to have shitty neighbors, eh? Especially shitty landlord neighbors that rent to crappy people and just don’t care.

First off, report this “adult home” to any and all agencies you can think of. Federal, state, municipal, police, local councilman, all of them. Talk to the newspapers too.

Take pictures, get the name of the place and create a Facebook or MySpace page for them. record some videos and create a account to post them. use the guy’s real name and his neighbors will find out about his absentee landlord practices.

Take pictures and post them on fences, trees, poles, bulletin boards, everywhere and title the page “Is this how you want to live?”, put a picture of the home under that, and the guy’s name and address and phone number under that.
Let him squirm and open his neighbors eyes up!

Mail them to the above federal/state/local agencies too.

Hell, email me a picture and I’ll post it here:
Pictures page
( I created this page on my site after reading your email, so send me a pic and some details, ok?)

Embarrass the fuck out of this guy…. that’s the only way to get revenge because when a guy doesn’t care about his landlord duties the only thing that gets under his skin is what his friends/neighbors think of him and that the law might crack down on him.

So get to work, start posting the pics, videos, all of it!

“Trespassing, Complaining About My Dogs” Jackhole Neighbor

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I’m in a desperate situation. My neighbors have finally crossed the line from obnoxious to full-out war. And they have the law on their side. But let me start at the beginning.

We have lived next to them for what, 13 years perhaps. Throughout that time they have committed egregious acts, but we have generally looked the other way in favor of friendship.

For instance, years ago they had a sleepover. They had tents in the yards and the kids had all their friends over. They were up giggling and running around all night, and we didn’t call the police.

They came into our yard and cut the lower branches off of a tree, unwanted. We said nothing.

They came into our yard and threw chlorine tablets into our pool, unwanted. We said nothing.

He attacked our gutters, unwanted. We said nothing.

At 7AM they are up hammering on the roof or building a stupid little shed. They had a ladder so well-positioned that they could see into a high window in my mother’s room. They did wake me up at least once. (We did eventually call the police once, but for some reason it is legal between the hours of 7AM and 11PM)

But recently we got another dog. Unfortunately she barks a lot. She’s still young though. We let her out for a short period of time, and yes, she makes noise. But this is where these jackholes cross the line.

The first came when the police came to our house. Apparently the jackhole next door called… because they were outside IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. It isn’t like we leave her out overnight. But apparently “his son was trying to relax”.

The other day he claimed he saw the dog kill a bird. He said that he had called the police and that they were sending someone over this Tuesday. This did not happen. Needless to say, we also never found evidence to confirm this unlikelihood. The dog wasn’t even out very long, once again.

But today was the last straw. The dogs were out once again in the middle of the day for a short time, and they called the police. This officer was a real douche, and I wish I could get revenge on him too. He made up a bunch of lies, and then he wrote my sister a misdemeanor, who was completely innocent. My mom wasn’t home, so how cowardly of them. I only let the dogs out once all day, and in that short time he called the police. Coward. He doesn’t have the balls to come over and talk to us.

Sadly the law on “barking and howling” dogs is written in stone – it grants the officer so much discretion that we can’t fight it. Despite another pig abusing his power and the neighbor making up a crock to get them out here.

This is the price we pay for being nice people. Well, enough’s enough. I will go to any length to destroy this man. The only reason we can think of that he’s become such a grouch lately is because he’s out of work at the moment. Plus he hates us because we have what is to him too many animals, and our house isn’t perfectly neat like his is.

Unfortunately, we never had security cameras, so we can’t take him to court on trespassing, and there’s no way we’d win a harassment charge. Like I said the law is on their side. I’ve been mulling ways to get back at him since he first called the police like last year, but now it must happen. It’s on. We were never out to harm anyone. Our little, broken family always went out of it’s way to be good, and we always let ourselves get walked over. This is the last straw. I will do all I can to mete out the justice that society would deny me. It’s no wonder his kids have problems.

So I need some really viable options to protect my family from this maniac, preferably by putting him in his place once and for all.

Hi Bullied,
I feel your pain.
I have three dogs (municipal law says I can only have two), and dogs bark.
And neighbors complain.

So, what I have set up is the Lentek Bark Free ultrasonic training device that emits an ultrasonic sound so they dogs know that if they bark they get buzzed, when there’s no barking there’s no buzzing.

So, this trains the dogs, all is good on my side.

Plus, there is an audible setting so that when the dogs bark there is a second buzzing noise that tells me the Bark Free has sounded to remind the dogs to stop barking.

The neighbors hate the buzzing as much as the dogs do, but I don’t care, I tell the cop I’m doing what I can, he walks away, no ticket.

Now that that is settled, you need to start a journal of what the hell this guy and his family are doing.

Write down everything. Take video and pictures of your place monthly, detailing changes that have happened.

Get a security system, it’s only a couple of hundred, less that a lawyer… which you’ll need after catching this guy trespassing anyways.

You could use a service to call him up and say you’re from local law enforcement and need to talk to him about some trespassing charges… let him stew on that. Give him a verbal warning.

Talk to your other neighbors, surely you’re not his only target. Neighborhood bullies attack all they see. Get the details, form a committee against this asshole.

Aim a telescope at his window, let him feel he’s being watched. I bet a friend has one they aren’t using anymore so you can just borrow it for a couple of weeks.

Yes, building noise is allowed during 7am to 11pm in most places…. but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Rent a jackhammer or something and let it rip right at 7am.

Or mow your lawn…. race your engine… something. And do it regular like clockwork, same time and same day of the week for a couple of months.

You have to MAKE justice in this world… the guy/group with the loudest voice always wins because so few people stand up for themselves or what is right. Look at low voter turnout for proof of this concept.

I could go on with more stuff to do, but protection against this creep comes first, don’t you agree?
Best wishes,

My Neighbor Is A Thief!

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I have this neighbour, and he’s a complete asshole…

While we’re outside, we can hear him shouting and yelling out the door and at us even for being too loud.

He complains that our dog ruins his lawn, even though he takes fertilizer for our lawn and uses it to plant his own trees.

I’d like to get revenge on him for being so loud and stealing fertilizer from us.

Hi R,
If the guy is intent on stealing your stuff for his lawn, why not give him a real treat?

In your next bag of fertilizer put in the bottom of it some ground beef, bacon drippings, whatever you wouldn’t put into a composter. Add some tampons and pads after they’ve been sprinkled with ketchup.

And just in case he’s had enough fertilizer use a bag of premium top soil to get his attention.

And as an added bonus, include a letter saying that “You have stolen this bag of XXX from us and we now have the proof. If you ever harass us again the police will be called and we will prosecute you.”

That should do it.

Best wishes,

Delirious From Lack Of Sleep

Dear Revenge GuyHello Revenge God!

I need MAJOR help. My neighbors suck!

Let me preface by saying that I am generally very laid back, a partier myself, but this is just way tooo much. I live in an apartment community and My upstairs neighbors are extremely loud — all day and night.

It is not the normal noise of someone above you. They sit on their balcony all day during the day (I work from home) screaming over the balcony throwing their cigarette buts off onto the grass and things end up landing on my balcony.

They smoke pot that comes into my apartment.

They are fat and truck through their apartment like they are damn doing gymnastics up there, which I know they are not (please see the fat comment and sitting on their balcony all day long!).

The girl sits on her cell phone again on the balcony so the entire neighborhood can hear her conversation. And they are doing this from about 10 am until 2 am almost every day, depending on the day.

I think they are students and that is why they don’t care. I mean I will be in my apartment and I can hear them pull up in their raggedy car and enter the building up the stairs that is how loud they are, thump thump thump up the stairwell, which is not even next to my apartment and we live in a VERY nice EXPENSIVE apartment community — it is not a lower income area or place that you would expect this.

So.. what have I done thus far?

I have complained to the leasing office on 8 separate occasions, including the pot smoking and noise.

The problem with the pot, is you can’t really catch them in the act b/c by the time someone comes, they are done with the joint. I have made two different police calls for noise complaints.

Sometimes it is not late enough for me to call the cops, if they are being this ridiculous during the day, I am not sure I can complain about the noise. My apartment complex says “they deny all actions” — which OF COURSE THEY DO! Wouldn’t you?

So they say there is nothing they can do. Of course they don’t want to evict someone in this economy right?

I have a lease until March and for my sanity and lack of sleep I am getting, I need to do something! I want them out out out! What can I do? Please help!

Delirious from no sleep!

Hi Delirious,

You need to start a journal right now and detail everything they do. Dates, times, witnesses, calls you make.

Get a copy of your lease (I’m sure it’s the same type the upstairs assholes would have signed) and read it for what violates the lease. Management companies don’t really like to kick anyone out, but if you can prove they should be, then they’ll likely act then.

Talk with your neighbors, I’m sure you’re not the only one mad at these idiots, and having more than one person/apartment complaining together will make them act much more quickly to get them out.

Video tape words wonders, if you don’t have a camera to capture sound and scene, then borrow one form a friend or buy one. This will make much more convincing proof of the actions of the pigs upstairs.

With all of the above start a complete war on getting them evicted.

It will take some work, but you can do it!

You’re not going to scare them out, pigs like this don’t mind sitting in their own slop.

And for immediate revenge, when they are out:

  • Spray their front door with liquid ass, spray their car door handless too.
  • Fill a large manila envelope (8.5 x 11 or larger) with a cup of confetti, add the confetti and squeeze the envelope so that it has a pocket of air, slide the open end of the envelope under their door and press down, shooting the confetti into their place.
  • Start a website (use and select the “private registration” option, no one will know it’s you) and tell crude things about them, using their real names… let them live with internet stink on their reputations for the rest of their lives (use a public computer when doing this, never use your home or office computer in case they can track the IP address)
  • push wooden toothpicks into their locks and break them off
  • follow them shopping and report them to store security as possible shoplifters
  • post ads in local places about a room for rent, cheap, and help wanted, top dollar jobs, and add their phone number to it. For extra credit, say it’s a night shift job and only call after 2:00am)

This should get you started, right?

Good luck!

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