Revenge Stories

The Revenge GuyRevenge

People that have successfully gotten revenge can email me their
stories so others can learn.

YOU can email me too if you have a revenge story you'd like to share.

Hey RG,
I like your site. The stories keep me
entertained and the creativity is awesome.

Anyway, I have a story I'd like to share that
may also help out others that are seeking revenge.

About 3 month ago I started getting crank
calls. The number was blocked so I could not find out who it was.

There are several numbers that call me that are
blocked and are legitimate friends or work related, so I always
answer blocked numbers. After being caught off guard a few times and
feeling like an idiot about being punked I decided that I really
needed to find out who this guy is.

I called my phone carrier and filed a
complaint. I waited for the next prank call and I called again to
file a complaint with my phone company. On the third time I
complained I was able to extract the phone number that was pranking
me by letting my phone company know what time I was getting these

This is where my fun started.

I did a reverse-lookup online and didn't get to
far except a name. After further searching for info on this number I
found a co-ordinance using Latitude/Longitude. I plugged this number
into my GPS program on my computer and had an exact location of the
residence. I was able to go on to Google Maps and zoom in till I
could see his house and what was in his backyard.

I zoomed in even more and was able to get a
street view of his house and was able to get many details of his
residence. At this point I knew that he had 2 boats in this back
yard, a large rectangular pool, a gazebo, a red Corvette, a black
Nissan Pathfinder, along with address and full name.

Then I decided to make a few passes in my car
to check out who I was dealing with.

One day after work I drove by and saw a man and
his wife doing some yard work. I took note what they looked like. At
this point I felt that it was not going to be the people I saw at
that time so I bided my time and would go drive by and just do some
surveillance. I was pranked again during this time and told the guy
that I would get him soon and hung up on him.

Well that provoked him cuz he called much more
frequently just to harass me. I drove one lucky day to see a man who
had his mailbox busted up. He flagged me down and asked if I had
seen anything. I told him I did not. I had a sneaking suspicion that
it was this kid/guy who did it. I asked him if he thought it might
be the kid who live at that house (pointing to the house I was
surveilling. He said that is probably was as him and his friends
were always getting into trouble and that he would confront the
parents but they refused to accept any responsibility for his kid
and usually was unpleasant with any issues regarding his son.

I was able to get the kid's name, Peter and his
mom's name, Paulette. That's when I decided to strike. Hehehe. I
waited for him to call and when he did here what happened.

ME: Hello?

PETER: Hi, my name is George and I am doing a
survey on the preferred sexual practices of gay men, you are a fag
aren't you? (snickering in background)

ME: I am getting tired of your calls, stop
calling or I'll come over and kick your ass.

PETER: HAHAHA! Fag! you don't even know where I

ME: I know exactly where you live peter.

PETER: (silence)

ME: Then I will kick your dads ass.

PETER: You don't know where I live! And you'll
go to jail if you touch me.

ME: How about I just key your dad's red

PETER: Then I know it was you and I'll call the
cops on you!!!

ME: Does your dad know what you did to your
neighbors mailbox?

PETER: (pause) what mailbox?

ME: The mailbox 2 doors down, you know he filed
a complaint with the cops about that? That a federal crime you know.

PETER: How the fuck do you know where I live?

ME: How do I know you have 2 boats parked in
the backyard next to the gazebo?

PETER: (silence)

ME: Hello?

PETER; (hangs up)

I call back, no answer.

I call 3 more times in a row and finally some
old man answers the phone. Its the dad, Ray.


ME: I am the guy who your son has been crank
calling for months now.

RAY: So what do YOU want?

ME: I want to kick your ass for not raising a
child very well.

RAY: Who the fuck are you? (here kid in back
asking if its me)

ME: I just told you dipshit, your son calls me
to harass me all the time, ask him.

RAY: How'd you get my number.

ME: How a dipshit like you be able to afford a
big pool, 2 boats, a  stingray corvette and a brand new

RAY: You really don't want to mess with me I was
a marine.

ME: So we actually do have something in common,
how the hell did you make it thru bootcamp?

RAY: Who the fuck is this!

ME: I already told you, now, are the crank
calls going to stop or to I need to take further action?

RAY: (hangs up)

Three days later, I call again. I wanted to
maximize the effect of my bluffs.

RAY: Hello?

ME: Hi Ray, I just wanted to apologise, looks
like you increased the parenting skills cuz the calls have stopped.
I'm impressed

RAY: Listen here buddy, you don't know who your
messing with…..

ME: CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK, shut up looser!!!! 

RAY: If you can find me I can find you.

ME: I just wanted to let you know who I really
am anyway and how I know so much about you?


ME: Cuz your stupid little piece of shit son
was stupid enough to crank call the guy who's been dating your wife
Paulette for the last year. I love her dirty blonde hair.

RAY: (silence)

ME: (chuckling)

RAY: I'll fucking kill you, its just a matter
of time till I find you!!!

ME: If your as smart as Peter, I am safe.
Besides, you don't look like you'd be a problem for me. Did you get
those tattoos in the marines?

RAY: (many many curses and threats)

ME: Ray, I know a lot about you. I know what
kind of person you are. Think about it. If I know this much about
you why wouldn't I know where you work, what you do, your habits,
your medical problems… Ray, I suggest that you let this go because
you cant win this. I wonder how messed up that household is….LOL.
I called using a blocked number from a place that I don't work or
live. I cant be traced. I also have not called back since or even
drove by the place. You lost. I better not see any bruises on
Paulette or me and you will have to continue this. I wont be polite
next time around. Where is Peter, I would like to speak with him.

RAY: Your not talking to my son!

ME: Ray, your not in a position to tell me what
to do.

RAY: (pause)  Ok (in a subdued voice)

PETER: (I can tell he's been put on the phone,
father and son are whispering something to each other franticly)

ME: Peter!

PETER: yeah…

ME: No more crank calls, ok?


I hang up and there are no more prank calls

I never called from a place I work or live. I
also never had any intention of harming this guy. Patience and
research were key to this kind of revenge. Don't get angry just get
even. Don't over do it. Know when to quit. I can only imagine what
went on in that house after my calls. I really hope that Paulette
wasn't hurt in some way. I know they will all think twice about who
they mess with and understand that people can find out about you if
they really want to. I could have spent some money and got a
criminal report and background check.

Revenge Guy,

In 2006 I competed in my first pageant with nine other girls. I did
not place but the queen had been featured in local papers and both of
the runner-ups had competed the year before. Few people thought the girl
that was named 2nd Runner-up thought she deserved such a high placement
with her faded ballgown and laundry speech. Within a few days it was
discovered that the judges were from neighboring counties that covered
our counties sports team including track which the new queen had been
very successful in because few in the area pole-vaulted. This fact led
to rumors that the pageant was rigged. Around this same time I received
my first state title. Soon the directors began to blame me for the rumor
that the pageant had been fixed. I let everyone know that the phase was
recorded on my video of the pageant while I am clearly on stage. I also
showed it to several of my friends.

I had qualified for two more state pageants and had one more state title
by the time the county queen had a chance to go on to the state level.
To prepare for my first live state pageant I went to the state county
fair competition. I said hello to the local directors and overheard the
director saying that if the local queen placed people would be
suspicious because one of the five judges was for the same town where
the fair is held. I asked her why that would matter because all three
judges at county were local. She could not answer me.

At the finals there is a formal dinner and I was seated with my local
county. Throughout the dinner I was trying to have polite dinner
conversation. The director sent a note across the table to me stating
that I need to keep the conversation to a minimum because they were
there for the queen and not for me. It was a polite way of saying that
they did not appreciate me being there because the contestants were not
on stage. I played the whole thing off as not important and began to
talk to the other county seated at our table. After sometime I attempted
to slip the note into the back of the program book I had on my lap. One
of the co-directors noticed this and asked for the note back claiming it
had important information on it that the head director needed. This was
not true but in order to avoid a scene I did hand it back.

That May the county began advertising for the 2007 pageant. This time
the age limit was extended by one year. When I asked about this I could
not get a straight answer. The county said that the ages were wrong in
the paper but in the four weeks that the ad ran no attempt was ever made
to correct the information.

A large 4th of July celebration occurs in the county and that year the
outgoing fair queen was in the parade with the eight contestants. I was
also in the parade as a state queen. The original plan was that the
county group would follow me. This fact did not make them very happy.
Somehow it was found out that I am a disabled veteran so when the parade
stepped of I followed the other vets. The 8 mayors of the towns within
the county and the local congressmen behind followed my vehicle. The
county queen and the eight contestants were placed behind the
congressmen. This meant there were 10 people in between us and that was
the final straw for the fair board and pageant.

That weekend fireworks were being held in my hometown and I worked at
the location. My neighbor had witnessed on of the co-directors driving
past my home. About thirty minutes later a sheriff deputy pulled up and
was told were I was at. The fireworks were being held on county property
so they had to know what was occurring that night. Just after we opened
the gate the sheriff served me with a trespass order banning me from the
fair grounds. For the entire week I played it very cool making sure that
I had people see me in case the board claimed I had violated the order.

The day that the pageant was held I was in a different county and again
made sure I had people witness me at key times. I heard the queen
announced on the radio and just as I expected the daughter of a fair
director was crowned. This of course continued the rumor mills that had
started the year prior.

A week later the pageant was held in our sister county and I attended as
visiting royalty. A few days after the pageant I had people asking me
about my performance at the fair. I found out that the newspaper had
included two paragraphs about a fake queen and my name was mentioned. I
proved to the paper that the title was false and gave everyone the
pageants website. It was obvious that it was the local county pageant
that had been behind it but there was no way to prove it. The incident
was quickly forgotten and things calmed down for a while.

Before long it was time for the 2008 queen to be crowned. That year
there were only four contestants. I had decided to attend the pageant as
a visiting queen. I wanted to let them know that I was not quitting no
matter what. I also knew I had to play my cards perfectly. When I
arrived I was dressed in my best suit and picked a seat in the very
back. I spoke to no one and just waited. I got hungry and left to get a
corn dog and lemon shake up just outside. The fair does not allow food
in the building so I was on the porch with a few others because of the
pouring rain. I looked up and saw the county sheriff with four of his
deputies. What the fair did not know was that I expected this exact
reaction. I had done nothing wrong and all they could do was tell me
“what the fair board expected of my behavior.” Which is written in the
fair book.

I was allowed to go back in the dance building and sit down. I put my
huge crown on and watched as the first runner up from the year before
was crowned queen. The first runner up and Miss congeniality were named.
Unfortunately the fourth contestant who was plus size by pageant
standards was left with nothing in her hands.

The very next week I submitted an editorial to the local paper
expressing my concerns on the misuse of the sheriffs department. The
community was outraged and questions are now being raised about the
future of the county fair pageant.




I recently found out that my
husband had been having a 7 month affair with his co-worker.
mistress is a mental case that has been physically, mentally and
emotionally abused in all of her past relationships, and I took full
advantage of this.

After finding a phone she had given him I took
the picture of her hanging out the window of his truck after one of
their rolls in the hay off the phone and on to myspace. Created a
space that talked as if it were her telling her story.

The myspace
read as follows :
.. I dispatch truck drivers for a company in Wichita, KS. I have
spent the past 7 months or so sleeping with one of the married
drivers. It was nice being able to ensure he could be where I could
meet him for "little visits".

I even got him a phone on my account
when his wife become suspicious and started watching his phone
bills. I really enjoyed the driver’s company, but I refused to
answer my phone when his wife would call me, or send me text. I am
to chicken to face the wife of the man I have been sleeping with.

am much more of a woman than she is, I must be, it takes guts to
sleep with another woman's husband then refuse to answer for my
actions. Only a real woman could do that!!!!

I feel no guilt. I have to say she deserves to be cheated on. She
makes his life hell. For 10 years she has been the primary bread
winner for their home, paying the majority of the bills, and
allowing him to use his money to enjoy himself. Yes, he does give
her a little money when she ask, but how selfish of her to make him
give up any of his income to pay bills with.

She also does really
bothersome things like care for his mother, take off work for a week
to follow his distraught mother 2000 miles across the country for
his uncles funeral because his mom was in hystarics, then took care
of him and his family through the funeral. If she was any kind of
person at all she would have done what he did when her uncle
died…..leave immediately following the funeral to meet his

And her daughter, man, this is just the worst of all as a
teenager, she talks back, she is self centered and selfish. What a
horrid mother would raise such a monster, and then expect a man to
have to come home 6 or 8 days a month and bitch about the fact that
the obnoxious daughter is not even at the house. Yep, I wonder how
he has stayed with that crazy woman this long.

I then sent her an email that she should see her web page. Not
knowing much about myspace the stupid woman had her son pull up the
page for her. Are you kidding? She created her own worst moment when
her son pulled up the page to see dear old mom in all her glory, and
then read about her affair. She was balling uncontrolablly when she
called my husband to whine about this, and devistated that her son
had to see it. I am sorry for her son, but I could not have asked
for more humiliation than she caused for herself. As for my husband,
hope he is good at kissing a$$ for now, he has no a$$ to screw. Oh
happy days!!!

Hi, enjoyed visiting your site.
 An oldie but a goodie was what I affecionately call the Baby Bomb.

No, dirty diapers or a mass bomb drop of screaming infants is not
required. Ewwww…

Take a record album cover (sturdy cardboard courier envelopes works
Fill with baby powder and slide the open end under the door, making
sure it’s completely under the door at least 2 inches all the way

Then, stamp on the album cover, releasing the powder in a nice fine
mist all over everything on the other side of the door in at least
an 8 foot radius. Really tough to clean up.

Only sad it doesn’t smell like butt, however guys are horrified
everything they own  now smells "purty".

Warm regards

At the beginning of the school year
I liked this one girl.
I was a senior and she was a sophomore.
However a misunderstanding caused a rift between us that couldn’t be
repaired and I tried my best to make things right but she just
wouldn’t listen. I later found out that she was going out with this
stupid jock. At first I didn’t object that much because I thought
they were gonna break up. They did but got back together. However he
stepped over the line when he decided to kiss her in front of me. I
was furious when I saw this. I later just typed "how to get revenge
on someone" in google and found a website with all of these ideas
for pranks. I later got a friend of mine to hack into the school
computer system and obtain his personal information. First I called
up the Mormon Church and gave his info so that he would get harassed
by them. I also called up two appliance stores and an electrical
company and gave them his info so he could get harassed by them. I
then put his E-mail address on a ton of spam lists and mailing lists
and I also signed up for several dozen magazines as well. Well
almost two weeks after I did this, he broke up with her. Although I
did get caught for this (I used my own cellphone and didn’t disguise
my voice) I was able to get off easy with a one day suspension
(which is basically a free day off hehe) and some "restorative
justice"(whatever the hell that means). Even though that suspension
goes on my record it was well worth the pain and misery that I
caused him and his family.

I got revenge on my ex in the best
way possible–by humiliating him physically, I destroyed him

My ex should have known how good he had it. I’m 24, blond, 5’9" tall
and about 125 lbs. I’m very pretty and I get a LOT of attention from
guys, but I was always loyal to my BF. We had been dating about a
year when he decided he wanted to learn a martial art and take judo
classes. We had been talking about doing more things together since
we had different work schedules and didn;t see each other as much as
we wanted to.

I thought judo would be great for me, too. I’ve never been
especially athletic and it wouldn’t hurt to know how to defend
myself, plus it’s something we could do together, so i said I would
take classes with him, thinking he’d be all for it (I also said it
would be fun & sexy to "spar" together outside of class). But he was
less than thrilled. He said "you’ll just hurt yourself; you’re too
skinny; I don’t want you grappling around w/other guys in
class…)…all these excuses he could think of to get me NOT to
take the classes with him. But the more he protested the more I
wanted to do it. I resented his classifying me as "weak and

Yes, i’m a "girly-girl" in that I like to wear my hair long and like
nice clothes & shopping, etc. But even though i’m not a traditional
"jock" I do work hard to keep my figure…I’ve always gone to the
gym to lift light weights and keep myself toned and I run at least 3
miles almost every day so I’m well-conditioned. So i said "well,
it’s not your decision…i’m going to take the classes and i’m sure
i’ll be sparring w/other girls so don’t worry about the guy thing."
He said "fine, whatever…you won;t last past the first hard work
out anyway."

This was around the time things started to go bad for us.

He avoided talking to me in class, and would almost pretend like he
didn’t know me. It turns out there were only 3 other girls in the
class, and about 10 guys, so i did have to work on moves and
techniques w/some other guys in workouts but it was no big deal.
Everyone did it and accepted it. But my BF was becoming increasingly
distant and seemed resentful that i was taking the classes.

After a few weeks in I also started to realize that I had a knack
for judo. Our sensei was continually complimenting me on my
technique and I learned a lot of the throws quickly. By contrast he
often had to correct my BF for sloppy technique and admonished him
not to "rush everything", as he seemed to have little patience for
learning the intricacies of the moves and throws.

He also had trouble getting through the workouts, which were pretty
brutal. We did a lot of running and push-ups and an especially
gruelling bit where we had to lie on our stomachs and drag ourselves
across the full length of the mat using only our fore-arms–no legs
allowed, and by the time we got to the end we were all gasping for
air. But my jogging had me well-conditioned and even though it took
me a long time to get across the mat, I noticed there were a number
of times when my BF couldn’t even make it across. He had to stop
halfway, and as punishment he had to run extra laps, which often
ended w/him walking and holding his sides in obvious pain. He, of
course, knew I had made it across the mat, and it infuriated him.
After class he was always angry and sullen and would lash out at me
at even the slightest thing I said. I never said anything mean or
mentioned the mat exercise, but even something like "want to grab a
pizza?" would be met w/a cutting remark or a sullen "No, i’m tired.
I’m going home." (We lived in separate apartments at the time).

So even though we were taking judo together once a week we started
seeing even less of each other. When we first started we would
almost always go to one of our places together after and spend the
night, but then that ended. He would always drop me off at my place
and drive off. The other nights of the week, too, he would always be
out if I called, and when I’d ask him the next day where he’d been
he’d say "are you checking up on me? don’t be such a clingy bitch"
and a few times he was so mean I was brought to tears. I just
couldn’t understand why he was being so cruel to me.

Then it became obvious when a friend of mine told me she had seen
him out at a bar making out with some girl, and leaving with her
shortly after. At first I was devastated and didn’t know what to do.
I cried a lot before finally confronting him and he just denied it,
but his behavior didn’t change, and eventually i found a bra in his
apartment and then he confessed.

Turns out he’d been sleeping with this girl for weeks while we were
going out. A number of times he even went right to her place after
dropping me off after judo class. When I asked him why, he said I
had it coming because I was "crowding him" by taking judo with him
when it was "his thing" and that the girl he was screwing
understands that it’s not feminine to do things like martial arts
and I should have listened to him when he told me not to take the
classes. He said it was my own fault, and he said I should drop the
classes now that we would be breaking up because it would be too
"awkward" to see each other once a week there.

I was too stunned to say anything at the time and just ran out,
crying. The days leading up to the next class were excrutiating. I
did think about quitting and just forgetting the whole thing but
then I got angry and realized if anyone should quit, it should be
him! I resolved to show up and stick with it whether he liked it or

The next class he looked surprised–and not very happy–to see me,
but said nothing. The next day he called me and said "what do you
think you’re doing? If I were you I’d drop out out of the class like
I said." I told him I had no intention of doing so, and added, with
some satisfaction "If I were you, I’d work on my conditioning so I
could get all the way across the mat for once", and hung up.

So now there was clearly a LOT of tension between us. We’d show up
at class and say not a word to each other, but every now and then
I’d see him looking over my way, looking really angry that I was
there. The other judo players knew we’d been going out and now were
quits so there was this weird vibe hanging there.

Then his new girl friend started showing up near the end of classes.
She was a little pixie of a thing…pretty enough, but the kind of
giggly little air head he clearly wanted ME to be. He would make a
display of coming over after workouts were done, and lifting her
over his shoulder and spinning her around and she would scream and
laugh and be like "you’re so strong!" and the rest of us would just
roll our eyes but say nothing. At any rate, he was obviously trying
to get under my skin, and I resolved to bide my time because I had
an idea, and with a little help from my sensei, I knew it would be
the best revenge.

We were nearing the end of our session of classes and we were having
an in-class tournament before taking our tests to earn the next belt
level. There were 4 of us girls and we were to face each other and
the boys would take on each other–with various belt levels matched
up (newbies like us would fight each other; the more advanced yellow
& green belts would fight each other, etc.), but a week or so
earlier one of the girls had injured herlself in class and wouldn’t
be able to compete.

So now there was an uneven number of girls, and the plan was to have
the 3 of us compete round-robin, but I went to the sensei after
class and said "I would like the opportunity to enter the boys’
tournament. There are an uneven number of white belts on the guys’
side so i could even that out, and I think I can compete. Karen and
Suzie (the other 2 girls) are OK with that and are happy to fight
each other…and they also think I can do it."

My sensei was a great guy. He never said much but he was very
supportive of me, and he knew what i was getting at w/out me having
to say it. He just smiled and said "You really think you can do
this?" And I said "Yes." And he said "I think you can, too." There
were only 3 boys that were white belts, including my ex, and I had
no doubt which one I would be assigned to fight.

The day of the tournament the higher belts went first and we all
watched, cheering and applauding at the well-executed throws and
pins. My ex had no idea what was about to happen because as far as
he knew the girls would all be fighting each other, so when the
sensei called "Michael" and then "Sarah", I relished the sight of
his utter surprise. Then he looked mad and said "what? why am I
fighting HER?" and sensei just said "Sarah is a white belt, as are
you. She is competing in that capacity, nothing more. If you refuse
to fight you will lose by forfeit."

Everyone was watching, and he couldn’t back down. I just stood
there, pulling my long hair back into a ponytail to get ready,
enjoying his discomfort. He shot me a look that was pure fury, and I
tried hard not to let it get to me.

The reality was we were the same height at 5’9", but while I was 125
lbs., he was probably about 160 or 170, a significant weight
advantage. And i knew he was stronger. I would have to rely on my
technique, quickness, smarts, and especially my stamina. I knew I
was a better conditioned athlete than him, and if I could make the
match long enough to tire him out and neutralize his strength
advantage, I knew I could take him.

The match began, and the whole class was clearly in my corner. I
heard a lot of encouragement…’C’mon, Sarah", "You can do it", and
the like. I was the underdog, after all, but they also knew what a
bastard he’d been to me, and they also didn’t appreciate his showing
off in front of his stupid little girlfriend.

We circled each other slowly, no one making a move at first. Then he
moved in, trying to get the first grip on my unform (gi), but i was
able to bat his hand away and grab the left fold of his gi first,
and I set my feet. He immediately tried to push against me but he
didn’t have a good grip and I let my upper body go a little slack to
bring his momentum forward. He thought he was pushing me over but i
was setting him up.

As his left leg came forward I twisted my hips, kept my left leg
firmly planted and whipped my right leg behind his left one, just
behind the knee, and drew it back sharply while keeping hold of his
gi and letting his weight come forward. I felt his leg lift away and
I pushed hard on his shoulder where I held his gi and then let go,
and he went down hard on his back.

I heard a cheer go up from the others…someone said "Wow!" and
sensei yelled "point!" and pointed to me. Even though I could have
followed the throw and tried to pin him, I knew it would have been a
mistake. If i got into a floor fight with him this early in the
match he’d probably just roll his weight on top of me and I’d be in
real trouble. So I backed off and waited for him to get up, which
was pretty sweet because I got to see how red his face was and how
frustrated he looked already!

He came at me really hard after that, his anger at being thrown by a
girl driving him. This was good news/bad news for me. Good news
because he was being stupid, charging ahead trying to beat me with
brute force rather than executing proper moves; bad because i had to
try and hold off a stronger opponent.

I dipped and moved side to side as much as possible, keeping my feet
moving and just trying to keep him from getting a hold of my gi. He
was basically chasing me around the mat trying to get a hold, and
that was great because it was draining him, but sensei said I would
be penalized a point if I didn’t engage–I had to stop running and

So I held my ground and tried my best not to let him overpower me.
Luckily i had led him on enough of a chase that, combined with the
throw and effort it took him to get back to his feet, he was
definitely more winded than when we started, and I could hear his
breathing getting more and more labored. I could also tell he didn’t
have as much arm strength. We had a grip on each others’ gi and he
was trying to force me to the mat by pushing around my shoulders.
This was knocking me off balance a little and I couldn’t get set for
a leg sweep, but he was just trying to push me over, without using
his own legs for a sweep (this is where his sloppy technique hurt
him; he always short-cut around learning the moves properly, opting
for a more brute wrestling style, and he would pay for it now).

He continued to do this kind of push-and-lift around my shoulders,
and because we were deeper into the match now he didn’t have the
full strength to knock me over this way. I just kept stepping
backward each time he pushed and re-setting my feet, and then he
went for a full-on massive push, clearly frustrated that he hadn’t
knocked me over yet.

He lifted as hard as he could and let out a massive grunt doing so
and I felt myself being lifted off the mat. He then went to throw me
and just in time I got my left leg down, trying to brace it as hard
as I could while absorbing the push downward. My right leg was still
in the air so I was holding for dear life like a flamingo hoping he
wouldn’t try to take out my standing leg but then I felt his push
weaken and his grip on my gi loosened as he exhaled from the effort.
I got my right foot back down and was still standing, while he was
trying to recover and hold my gi all the while.

I knew I had an instant to act but this was the time. I brought my
left hand under and up and grabbed hold of his wrist where he had my
gi and pressured it just enough to get him to let go. Then in one
fluid motion I backed my body away and brought my right hand over to
also grab his wrist and I twisted my whole body as hard and fast as
I could while keeping a tight hold on his wrist. He knew what I was
trying to do and tried to grab hold of my arm before I could
complete the move but he was too slow and his body went sideways as
he tried to keep his balance. I was hoping to follow all the way
through and lift him off his feet with the wrist throw, but he kept
his footing–just barely. But he was bent backwards like someone
trying to get under a limbo bar and I moved in, kicked out his left
foot and–wham!–he was down again.

Another big yell went up and sensei yelled "point!’ again, but I was
stillreluctant to get on the mat with him. I deciced to watch
instead and see how quickly he was able to get up.

That’s when i knew I really had him. He was breathing heavily and
crawled to all fours before trying to get back up. I kept my
distance and waited til he was halfway up, letting him think he had
time to recover. But just before he got completely to his feet I
moved in as fast as I could and when he was up, i immediately
grabbed his gi, notched my leg behind his knee and drew back fast
and hard, pushing down with my arms as hard as I could.

He never had a chance. And this time I kept my own body going
forward and as I slammed him down on the mat I fell on top of him
and immediately moved for a pin. First i locked my leg on top of his
so he couldn’t push off with it, and then went to work on his
shoulders, putting as much of my upper body weight as was there onto
his upper torso, with a tight lock grip around one arm, and I just
held on as tight as I could.

There was an unbelievable yelling and cheering from the rest of the
class…I could hear "Stay on him, Sarah!", and "Don’t let up,
Sarah!" and the other girls were the loudest of all!

Meanwhile, the ex was making these desperate grunting noises,
straining and trying in vain to get out of the pin, but he had
nothing left–at this point I was basically stronger than he was,
and his pathetic attempts to move me off him resulted in nothing
more than him moving us a slight inch to the right or left. It was a
good 45 seconds of this and if he had any brains at all he would
have tapped out to end the match, but he kept trying, unable to
admit defeat to a girl.

The shouting from the sidelines continued and since I already had my
head up around his, I said softly into his ear "I warned you to work
on your conditioning", which resulted in a kind of combination
whining/grunting as he tried to release whatever strength he had
left in outrage, but it was so over.

The sensei called the match for time and I quickly got off him.
Everyone was standing and clapping and I soaked it all in. My ex lay
on the mat on his back, his chest heaving for air. As he started to
sit up, I went for the full effect of humiliation. I made a big
display of undoing my ponytail and shaking out my long hair. Then I
bent forward and flipped it back, a la "Charlie’s Angels" and
gathered it up again, and re-tied it.

When my ex got to his feet he was unsteady, sweating heavily through
his gi, and his face was beet red. His eyes looked wild and I think
he was just about on the verge of tears.

But just when I thought my revenge couldn’t get any better, it did.
He started to skulk away, and the sensei angrily called him back to
the mat. "Show respect to the opponent who defeated you!", he
yelled, reminding my ex that he was required to bow following the
match. (As was I).

He couldn’t look me in the eye as we stood in front of each other,
but I think he caught a glimpse of my smile as I bowed. He bent down
and started to walk off the mat, and then–oh, how i LOVE this
moment, an even more delicious scene–his little pixie girlfriend,
it turns out, had been watching the whole time! And she had this
look of utter horror on her face!!

She had just watched her "big, strong boyfriend" get his ass kicked
by a pretty blond girl, his ex-girlfriend at that. She didn’t go
over to comfort him….in fact she looked like she wanted nothing to
do with him at all. She just stared at her feet as he walked by her
and went off to the showers.

Meanwhile, I received congratulations from the class and sensei, who
gave me a little wink, as I silently mouthed "thank you".

My ex never returned to class, never took his belt test. A few
months later I heard from a friend that his girlfriend had broken up
with him (not a very sympathetic little pixie, I guess), and I like
to think it had something to do with that day when I took revenge on
my cheating , sexist, ex-boyfriend, on the judo mat.

I was behind on my
rent so my best friend at the time,
offered her storage shed to me
so I could put my belongings in there, in the event of a soon to be
eviction. While getting settled, (moving, etc) she and her boyfriend
went through all my things and sold off all the good stuff at a swap
meet. I confronted her and she blamed him wholeheartedly and said
she had no choice but to make room for his things.

The plan was launched, I said nothing, I played along! I flirted
shamelessly with him whenever she wasn’t around and eventually we
decided to "rendezvous". She was working the night shift one Friday
evening, and we rented a room! I sipped only very slowly the bottle
of liquor and he eagerly chugged it down and eventually I had him
drunk with booze and with my seduction. He was passed out naked on
the bed when I took off my black lacey bra and slipped into the
pocket of his jacket. I quietly exited out of the room and raced
back home.

There were many voice mail messages from her on my machine, crying
hysterically looking for her beloved boyfriend.

The next day was hiroshima as she discovered the bra in his jacket
and called me for support – it was all I could do to stifle laughing
in her face!

I never talked to neither of them ever again afterward. I had what I
wanted! hah hahhaaa

It all started
about 9 months ago when I was just a customer at one of my favorite
bars in town.
The bartender was a beautiful busty blond who would
sit and talk to me for hours as I drank beer. She would always give
me most of my tab for free, and I would in turn always tip her $20.
We has many very deep and interesting talks about life, past drug
abuse, and everything else you could imagine. During this spirited
conversation the fact that she was in a 5 year relationship came up.
I was let down, but didn’t count myself out of the race quite yet. I
have been with many girls who have boyfriends. Rule of thumb, do not
fall in love with them. This went on for about a month until one day
she asked me to give her a ride home after work. I had been enamored
with this girl so I jumped at the chance.

We decided to go to one of the bars that was open later than her bar
and have a few cocktails before I dropped her off at home. Of course
her boyfriend was out of town for the week visiting family. We
laughed and drank and played pool and darts. Everything was going so
great that we closed the bar down. I was taking her home and she
asked if I wanted to come inside and watch a movie. One thing led to
another and we ended up sleeping together. Apparently we really
liked each other and this continued at least 3 times a week for the
next 6 months.

It got to the point where she was sleeping at my house more than her
and her boyfriend’s apartment. She was always with me, and actually
took my on a week long vacation to meet her parents who live on the
beach. I woke up one day and realized that I loved this girl. She
told me all the time she loved me, and actually broke up with her
boyfriend for me. (of course he had no idea any of this was going
on. (denial is a powerful thing) He knew they broke up, but had no
idea she was cheating on him for the past 7 months.

Well, she ended up feeling horrible about it and wanting to make
things work out with him again. She slowly stopped talking to me
over a one week period, and then stopped all responses. I knew it
was my time to strike. I had gotten her boyfriends number out of her
phone for just such an occasion. I sent him text message after text
message on his cell phone describing in graphic detail what his
precious girlfriend and I had been doing all along. I sent pictures,
and video clips to his phone as well. (and these were not pictures
any guy would want to see of his girlfriend) I was admittedly very
drunk that night, and about as bitter and angry as I can get. I was
all but in a rage. She called me and used every expletive known to
man. She sent me text messages about how evil I am and how horrible
of a person I can be. I sent some very threatening messages back to
her. (in retrospect, a horrible idea) The very next day she went to
the police with her phone, and her boyfriends phone. I was in the
process of being charged with sexual harassment for the pictures,
and domestic dispute in regard to the threatening comments I made.
Luckily for me I was moving all the way across the country before
they had a chance to arrest me.

They have since broke up and she actually started being very nice to
me again. She said it took all of this to realize how much she liked
me. As I type this she is on her way across the USA in a plane to
visit me for 5 days. This will be the first time I have seen her
since I told and showed her boyfriend everything. I ultimately win
in this situation because I not only broke them up, but she is
coming to see me and sleep next to me.

Revenge was bittersweet. In retrospect I would not have made
threatening comments or sent pornographic images to his phone. I
would have simply told him what happened with enough detail to make
them break up. Now I can’t go back to that particular East Coast
state for 1 year. After a year there will be no more charges or
warrants on me.

Many moons ago I
had a opposite sex (male) best friend.
I used to give said best
friend, call him Mike, advice on how to handle his love life (we
were young and still learning). I resisted his periodic attempts to
convert our friendship into something else because I liked him too
much as a friend and didn’t want to screw it up with additional
expectations etc..

Well, eventually poor judgment got the best of me and an affair was
hot. It went along swimmingly until he decided to join the Navy and
see the world. I was invited to his graduation from boot camp (if
that’s what the Navy calls it), and traveled three states away with
his parents in order to attend. Not long after, he had 2 weeks leave
and returned to our hometown. Upon our joyous reunion he presented
me with a mini Navy insignia ring on a chain to wear around my neck.
We were in love.

But as the leave progressed, I realized I was only seeing him every
other day. Odd. Odder still was the fact that Mike’s male best
friend (Ron) lived two houses down from me and I wasn’t seeing him
there. No matter, I was young, hormonal and extremely naive. I
enjoyed the time we had.

Mike ships out. I get a call from Ron’s girlfriend, Samantha
inviting me to a party. I start to decline because of school
obligations and she gets this very intent tone of voice, and said
"You really ought to come". Being the intuitive person that I am
(except when it comes to males who may wish to abuse my affections)
I understand this is a command performance and attend the party.

I am no sooner in the door than she shoves me in the direction of
Mike’s most significant ex saying "You two need to talk". And we
talked. Eventually Samantha joined us and let us know that she had
been cheating on her boyfriend (Ron) with his best friend (Mike).
All three of us had identical necklaces – the Navy ring/necklace. We
all desired blood, but that hard to do when your intended victim is
sailing the seven seas.

Our solution was simple, elegant and classy. We took the three
identical necklaces, put them in a single envelope and mailed them
to the boy. No letter, nothing but the necklaces.

That was the end of my contact with him. Unfortunately, one of us
was not so fortunate. He tracked me down about 20 years later, why?
I’m not sure. But in catching up with each other (I had to, I was
curious and expected some karmic payback to reveal itself. Maybe it
had.) I learned that he and Samantha had married. And that she later
died of a drug overdose. Too bad, she was a nice girl and had done
two other women tremendous favors in exposing the S*B. The drug
thing was not something I ever would have suspected of her. Gotta
wonder what her life was like to use that many tranquilizers.

Now, before I share a second story, let me say this. I love revenge.

I have a vividly twisted imagination. Regrettably, it is chained to
a conscience. So (as I go through a divorce) I may think of soaking
my soon-to-be-ex’s backpack in gravy before he goes hiking in the
Smokies, but I can’t bring myself to actually do irrevocable/serious
harm. Things that ARE revocable are fair game. So, story #2.

Second loser up on the roster is Larry. Larry was everything that
made a girl’s parent’s shudder and light a candle at church.
Divorced three times, a heavy drinker twice my age who drove cars
that needed frequent attention and no license to go with them…you
get the idea.
But charming, very charming with a skill for spinning believable
lies. Towards the end of an on-again, off-again relationship that
lasted FAR too long, it became quite clear there was another woman
in the picture. Either he didn’t try to hide it, or he thought I was
really stupid. I do give him credit for his ability to use and
manipulate me though. Over the years he had borrowed money he never
paid back, shared his drugs with anyone but me, fed me all sorts of
b******t to keep my naive little ass believing. He’d borrow my car
to see the other poor wench (made sure I wouldn’t run into them,
right?) and, once, told me to meet him at his place when he was
seeing her.
It was on this occasion that the gay couple upstairs from his studio
apartment confirmed my suspicions and, specifically, who he was
seeing. In my negligee. I was livid. I paced his small studio
apartment, just seething and wracking my deluded little brain for an
effective way to send a message. Then it stuck me as I looked at the
single bed in his studio apartment. The single bed that doubled as a
couch because it was a studio apartment. The only place to sleep
besides the floor in his studio apartment. Clearly, I was going to
have trouble sleeping that night so I decided he should, too. I took
a pitcher or four of water and soaked the mattress on his bed,
making sure there was no dry strip of padding to sleep on. I never
heard a word about it.

But we weren’t done yet; he did the "I’m sorry, I was a fool"

routine, telling me he had helped her out of a bad situation but
they were only friends. See she moved out of the home of a very
well-to-do man, who provided lots of cocaine, in order to carry on a
relationship with this man (using the term loosely). She needs a
friend, she was abused… Well! I worked for a social service agency
and…ah-hem…kindly offered to connect her with services. Just
introduce us, I said. I’d be glad to help, I said. And with a
sympathetic smile I slowly backed him into a corner, as I was
certain she was getting the same lines and responding the same way I
Backing him into a choice. So, one fateful, final evening when I was
pretty damn sure he had told her about me I made my move. I forget
what evidence he provided, but it was convincing, I may have even
made sure myself somehow. Well, I screwed his brains out, black
bustier and garter included, and told him I would never see him
again. He lost it. Pissed that he had told her about me ( and
screwed that cocaine connection up) only to have me dump him. It was
nice to have confirmation that I had, indeed, screwed up any chance
he had of getting her back.

I got in one last shot a few years later. He had started nosing
around again, trying to get things started. In a weak moment of
fevered delirium I folded. He brought me chicken soup cause I was
sick, ran errands for me etc.. Then I got a call at work from a
woman I didn’t know. She asked if she could talk to me about Larry.
We met that evening and talked for 5 hours. I started smoking again
that night. She recited my own story back at me. Charmed by the guy,
bought him expensive gifts at the start, paid big bucks to break a
lease to move in with him. Larry, his brother and the brother’s wife
were renting his mom’s house. But he kept dodging rent and he had
started sleeping on the couch, about the same time he started
knocking on my door again. The reality of a chronically broke, lying
alcoholic in an ever faster downward spiral was becoming clear to
her. She thanked me and left.

I mean, she really left. A few weeks later I got a call from the
brother asking if I had seen Larry. Larry had stolen his brother’s
car. Just the call told me how far Larry had sunk that his family
was no longer turning a blind eye to his sucking them dry.

And the brother told me that the lovely young lady I had met a few
weeks earlier no longer lived with them and no one knew where she

Karma. I love it.

Well, RG thanks for letting me revisit some fond memories. I’ll let
you know what I do to the husband who asked for a divorce after I
supported him through med school. Trashed my careers (yes, plural)
for his career. And moved three states away for his ideal job. While
I was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. Packing and
unpacking alone. While trying to parent a pissed off ten year old.
He thinks he’s doing me a favor to turn me out marginally employable
and uninsurable. See, he doesn’t want to disappoint me anymore by
being a narcissistic, selfish control junkie. I’ll try to think up
something special for him, but I still won’t smear him with peanut
butter and drop him off in bear country. It’s gotta be something
that isn’t lethal or illegal. I suspect just having to take care of
himself after I catered to him for 18 years is a start. But it’s not
Now, he just bought a motorcycle….

Too Nice for My Own Good

Hi, RG.
 I just found your website, and found it to be highly amusing,
and highly educational. But I have a nasty streak that comes out when I
am wronged. Let me give you a couple of examples.
Years ago, I worked for a company as a driver. The boss, and Iranian,
cheated me out of about 6 hours pay on 3 consecutive paychecks, so I
decided to quit and get even in the process. Before I quit, I had to go
to another city about 300 miles away, on personal business. While I was
there, I stopped by a chemical supply house, and bought a gallon of
undiluted methyl mercaptan, which is put into natural gas lines so that
leaks can be detected.
On my last day, after I picked up what was to be my last paycheck,
(cheated again!), I took the methyl mercaptan out of my car, and poured
the whole gallon all over the garage floor, and left the empty jug
inside the garage.. Then I went across the street to the fancy hotel and
called the fire department to report a "major gas leak". Naturally, the
FD responded with everything from 3 stations, and began to search for
the "leak". They evacuated every business for 4 city blocks in all
directions, including the nice, new fancy hotel.
The firefighters discovered where the stench was coming from, and the
empty jug, while looking in the garage.
The city fined him $15,000, and several of the businesses sued him, too,
for lost income.
He knew it was me, because I left the jug right next to the door of the
car that I used. He even tried to blame me, but I denied everything, and
told the police and fire officials that the guy had been cheating me,
and that I had quit because of it, and he just wanted a scapegoat. They
didn’t buy his denials.
What with the fine, the loss of his business license, and the multiple
lawsuits, he was forced out of business.
I saw him about a year later, selling hot dogs from a cart on a downtown
corner, and made sure to wave at him as I went by.

I have a neighbor, a real jerk, who drive a POS old Nissan with a loud,
:beer-barrel" muffler, and a stereo system that is worth 5 times what
the car is worth. He always comes in from clubbing at 2:30am with the
stereo blasted right along with the loud muffler. And he treats that POS
like it’s a Ferrari. Anyone goes near it, and he becomes completely
hysterical, screaming and hollering.
Two months ago, I went for a walk with my wife, and as we passed by the
end of his driveway, walking in the street, about 10 feet from his car,
he comes out of the house with a baseball bat in hand, threatening to
hurt us because we were "too close" to his car. He knows that I have a
concealed carry permit, and I told him that he would be wise to go back
into his house before we found out which of us had the more effective
weapon. He did, and we went on our way. By the time we got back to our
house, the police were there, and he was claiming that I drew my pistol,
and said that I was going to kill him. That would have been a neat
trick, since I didn’t have it on me at the time, and several neighbors
told the cops that he was lying. They didn’t arrest him for making a
false report, because he hadn’t signed it. Dammit!
Anyway, for the next few days he started acting more and more
irrational, not just towards me and my wife, but to most of the other
neighbors, too.
So, I decided to do something about him, and his damned loud car.
One night about 3-4 weeks after this, his garage door broke, and
wouldn’t open, forcing him to leave his car in the driveway all night.
In a stroke of inspiration, I hopped into my car, went down to the
all-night car parts store, and bought a bunch of mag wheel weights.
These are the kind with the peel-and-stick tape to attach them to mags
without damaging the wheels.
I snuck over and put about four ounces of weights on the inside of both
of the front rims.
The next morning, when I heard him start up to go someplace, I went out
and sat down on the front porch to watch the fun. When he got up to
about 20mph, you could actually see the front wheels bounce, shimmy, and
shake. He slammed on the brakes, got out, looked at the car, got back
in, and took off again. A couple of minutes later, he comes creeping
back home at about 15mph, with his stereo off! I guess he wanted to see
if he could figure out what was wrong by listening.
A little while later, a wrecker shows up, and hauls his car off to the
repair shop. Late Friday afternoon, he comes driving home. At about
15mph. The shop had completely rebuilt the front end, but never checked
the tires. He was livid! And since he ran over a curb on the way home,
the shop voided the warrantee for the repair work!
A tire shop finally figured out what happened, removed the weights, and
he was driving again. I think that he suspects it was me that did it but
has no proof.
About a month later, I saw his car at a mall, and decided to silence his
noisy muffler for him.
I parked quite a distance away, and since I had just stopped by the
grocery store to pick up a few things, I happened to have some nice,
big, baking potatoes with me. But I went Eddie Murphy one better. I
coated the tater with fast drying epoxy resin just before I inserted it
into his tail pipe.
Then I go back to my car, and drive home. Sure enough, here he comes,
with his car on the back of a wrecker.
A couple of days later, he has his car back, with a nice, quiet, factory
type muffler on it. And he doesn’t play his stereo so loudly in the
neighborhood anymore.
In fact, he hardly opens his door anymore. He’s finally become a "good"

I’ve done some others, and I’ll share them with you another time, but I
thought that you might enjoy these little stories about revenge.

Revenge Guy,

I have been taken big time by a guy who claimed
to be a friend, lover, future mate, mortgage broker. And he was living
with someone and only played up to me because he could talk me into
buying a condo and collecting a $16,000 fee which he told me he would
give back to me and of course didn’t. In actuality, he is living with
someone and told her I was a client, meanwhile he was sleeping with me,
and making all these promises and I was gullible enough to believe it.

Since then I contacted his girl friend,
posted a website, registered him with the cheaters websites, ordered I
don’t know how many magazines, arranged for a republican party at his
office, jammed his telephone, with his social security number ordered a
credit report and contacted all his creditors to let them know his
updated telephone numbers and addresses which caused him to lose his
internet connection, posted warnings on all the dating sites, got him
kicked off the dating sites, ordered repair persons to his (his
girlfriend’s) house, also pizza to his house and office, make
reservations at various restaurants, order estimates for various house
repairs, many many magazine subscriptions, ordered condoms and tampax
and catalogs to house and office. I plan to post his house for rent in
various laundromats, send dead roses, place some ads in the classifieds.

I really don’t like this s.o.b. and want
more. But it has to be kind of legal. PLEASE send more suggestions. I
want to make his life a living hell for a few years. His girlfriend is
too dumb to throw him out, even though he’s been screwing everything
that holds still enough, which unfortunately includes me. But she even
told me that there were credit card charges for brunches and so on on
HER credit card, which they obviously share.
Having fun!

Revenge Joker - Trademark PendingHi
Having fun,

I think you’ve handled everything marvelously.
The only thing I would add is a letter from a lawyer stating he is being
sued and brought up on charges of ‘rape by false promise’ by enticing
you to use him as an agent and him having sex with you under false

Heck, maybe even a real lawyer would be interested in this case.
Or at least a TV judge.

Best Wishes, The Revenge Guy

Dear RG,
Here’s my idea for some generic revenge:
Every town has them–the so called homeless–career alcoholics,
druggies, and men who have made it their business NOT to work and
live off ignorant people who give them money. Even small towns have
hundreds of these creatures.
They are the sustenance of revenge.
A few hundred xeroxed letters saying—"MY HOME IS YOUR HOME. FEEL
a herd of dregs to the home of your target. The results are
inevitably hilarious. Just make an afternoon of it-walk your town
and give one to everybody to looks like he needs a place to hide
from the cops–or drink–or worse.
Got a bill collector who refuses to stop making threats? Place a few
ads in Middle Eastern newspapers that ask the question–Is this
company connected with Israeli intelligence? Just give the
address–no telephone numbers needed.

Hi RG,
I’ve discovered something really unattractive about myself. I love
revenge. I have this side that my friends now call the "Evil
Genius". This is the one that creates magnificent plots to exact
revenge when I’ve been wronged. This dark side of me rears up when I
am trashed in a relationship. If some man lies to me, cheats me and
treats me badly, I just go nuts. And you know, when I think about
it, revenge to me has very little to do with hurting the other
person. Actually, I am, at heart, a very kind person and I don’t
want to hurt anyone else. What revenge is about for me is two
• re-gaining my power and
• having the joy of plotting something evil.

I was laughing with a friend the other day and she said "We all
think about revenge. The thing that’s great is that you actually DO
An example.
I was dating a man who lied to me about various things – like his
age (10 years older), his marital status (separated, but still
married), and the status of our relationship (agreed exclusive,
while setting up dates on craigslist). Man, was I angry! I knew he
was surfing for more women on craigslist. I knew what he liked and
what types of ads he responded to. So I simply posted an ad designed
to lure him. Sure enough, I had a response the next morning. For the
fun of it, I created a new screen name, grabbed a photo of some
attractive woman our age from Atlanta, and began conversing with him
by e-mail. Since I knew him fairly well, I was able to get him so
excited about this mythical woman! He kept begging me to meet.
So, I set up a date with him. Now here’s the Evil Genius part. I
also set an auto aol message to be sent, breaking off the
relationship, set to arrive in his in-box just at the time we were
supposed to meet. At the same time, I set up a date for myself in
the same restaurant, with a tall, handsome man. So while the liar
was sitting at the bar, waiting for the next hour for his new girl
to show up, he was also watching me and my date having a wonderful
time together.
Aaah. It was oh so satisfying. And I can let go of that anger and
pain of being lied to and hurt, because now the score is even (even
though he will never, ever know that I did this – now don’t tell on
me!). For more Dating After Divorce stories, please visit

Hi R.G.
I just visited your site for some ideas but it looks like you
covered what I am doing. I think you might like this –
Take care!

Hi RG,

Some girl started calling my phone at all hours asking to speak to
"Tony". She phoned at 4:30 AM.. she phoned at 2:30 AM… and just
all around the clock.
She heard my boyfriend in the background and insisted that it was
Tony. I let him talk to her and she still just didn’t get it. So..
Here’s how I got revenge on her:
One morning after she phoned me.. I told her, "Look honey, I understand that
this guy Tony must have some great drugs or a whopping big dick, so
when you find out his REAL phone number, hook me up!"
Well, even that didn’t help. She told me she would call my phone any
time she wanted. So within two days I changed my phone number.
Time for some revenge. I looked up every pager number I could find
on the web. Doctors, medical services, limousines,… just
absolutely every pager number I could find. I paged each one of them
with a 911 code to her phone number… and mind you.. it was around
and around the clock. I also phoned her number from payphones. I
even got her answering machine one day. She was telling someone how
to get to her trailer on her answering machine! I left the voice
mail about how apropo it was that she lives in a trailer. … I
guess she got pages for about two weeks before I got bored.
Actually.. she got it a bit longer… when I missed her I would find
another pager list!
– me

Hi RG,
I have a VERY annoying co-worker. She thinks she runs the place, but
she is just a janitor. Behind her back, many call her "The Nazi".
Others call her "The hall monitor" since she does no actual work
other than yelling at people and telling them what NOT to do. I call
her "Evil Nazi B****" She is always documenting every little thing I
do to try and get me fired.
She always parks in the very first spot and backs in with her 2
passenger side wheels exactly right on the line of the Handicap
spot. Well, She has gotten so bad that I felt it necessary to show
her what I (and many others) think of her. I loaded the back of my
pickup with old horse manure on Sunday night and dumped it right in
her parking spot! I think she got the message.
-A very annoyed employee.

I started dating this
woman who I had known since we were in 7th grade.
Things were going
great, we were talking of marriage, our future, etc. and all of a
sudden she started going ballistic on me. One minute we’d be
emailing or chatting on the phone and everything would be fine, the
next she’d be telling me to quit bothering her, don’t call anymore,
etc (hormones perhaps??). This went on for a few weeks until I’d had
enough. She tore my heart out and walked all over it. No-one could
ever love her the way I did (do). The pain has led to a desire for
revenge so I created a YAHOO account for her with a public profile.
Now whenever anyone goes onto YAHOO and does a search for YAHOO
Member S— —-s (where she also has a few other email accounts)
they get some real interesting stuff (complete with her photo) under
the YAHOO ID dab—2006. I know it’s a minor thing, but it’s a

In July of 2002, my husband and I were
introduced to this young woman
who had a boy around our daughter’s
age, and we were both due that Feb / Mar. We hung out with her a lot
and our kids played together.
As the summer/fall progressed, my husband spent less and less time
at home, and more and more time with her. Although I felt she should
kick his butt to the curb when he’d show up, I was more angry at
him. There were rumours of them being a couple and that the baby she
carried (and had the same day as me) was his.
The continuing neglect and the endless encounters I had with people
asking where her ‘husband’ was when I was right there, and not
realizing who I and the kids were was too much for me. I packed up
the kids and left in August 2003.
After I left, she moved in as a ‘boardee’, someone to split the
bills with. Well, that supposed friend is due this week with his
baby (questionable, she’s a ho)
Anywho, I have dealt with him, but how to deal with a friend who
turns out to be an enemy…
On April Fool’s day I circulated a flyer around the tiny town
Married? Engaged? Have children? She’ll Take Them All
No Money? No Credit? No problem at all!
Just hurry act now so she can be expecting come fall.
I tell you no lies, no gimmicks here.
If you love your partner, please heed my plea.
If you see this ho coming, then FLEE!"
It had a background image of a sow dressed as a tramp.
It’s amazing what one can conceive during a sleepless night!
~ Satisfied Ma ~

I went in to work
early one day and put transparent tape
on the bottom of all the mice
in the office where I work (it’s a call center). The IT guys are
always the first ones in setting up all the work stations and they
were sweating bullets trying to figure out why every system wasn’t
responding. I thought I was going to split in two from laughing so

changed the startup sound from the Windows default
music to a
recording I made that said "Surfing for porn!" in a funny voice. Now
whenever my brother starts the computer he gets yelled at.

I was fired from my
job at a fast-food place
because I wouldn’t work every night shift
after I explained that I needed to have some nights off so I could
spend a little time off with my kids. I used one of the free coupons
from your site and made it into a free food coupon and passed them
out at a youth hostel. It’s two weeks later and they’re still
getting some of the coupons and a lot of complaints!

I had been nuts about ‘Ron’ for a good
two years.
Now, it’s my own naivete that needed work before I could
take a rational account of the situation I’d allowed myself to
sustain, but really ~ Ron’s best feature is how good an actor he is.
I had admitted to him my attraction and, instead of telling me he
was flattered but would rather just be friends (we’re both involved
in theatre so it’s impossible not to see him around), he left me
standing there with my face hanging on the floor in stunned silence.
But, oh well. I -wisely- avoided him as much as possible from then
on, but this guy just drinks in the attention whether he plans to
reciprocate or not (which is usually NOT), and I got tired of his
mind games so I finally told him I didn’t deserve that. That’s when
he actually accused me, publicly! of stalking and harassment,
threatening to have me arrested if I didn’t stay out of the theatre.
(I had thought he was just a little mixed up. Heh. A LITTLE???!) My
‘revenge’? I went to the theatre and had a wonderful time, enjoying
the company of who is now my new prospect. 🙂 The cast party
highlighted my indifferent behaviour to Ron, and he spent the better
part of the evening staring at me, as well as at one point flomping
in a nearby chair like a morbid, inert log. Ya. I’M stalking HIM.
Nope. I’m having too much fun getting acquainted with the fella who
makes me laugh, not cry!
So you’re right: living well IS the best ‘revenge’. The very best
part? I can still have a charitable heart toward Ron, even if I
choose to never deal with him directly.

Hi R.G.,
I have been taken big time by a guy who claimed to be a friend,
lover, future mate, mortgage broker. And he was living with someone
and only played up to me because he could talk me into buying a
condo and collecting a 16,000 fee which he told me he would give
back to me and of course didn’t. In actuality, he is living with
someone and told her I was a client, meanwhile he was sleeping with
me, and making all these promises and I was gullible enough to
believe it.
Since then I contacted his girl friend, posted a website, registered
him with the cheaters websites, ordered I don’t know how many
magazines, arranged for a republican party at his office, jammed his
telephone, with his social security number ordered a credit report
and contacted all his creditors to let them know his updated
telephone numbers and addresses which caused him to lose his
internet connection, posted warnings on all the dating sites, got
him kicked off the dating sites, ordered repair persons to his (his
girlfriend’s) house, also pizza to his house and office, make
reservations at various restaurants, order estimates for various
house repairs, many many magazine subscriptions, ordered condoms and
tampax and catalogs to house and office. I plan to post his house
for rent in various laundromats, send dead roses, place some ads in
the classifieds.
I really don’t like this s.o.b. and want more. But it has to be kind
of legal. PLEASE send more suggestions. I want to make his life a
living hell for a few years. His girlfriend is too dumb to throw him
out, even though he’s been screwing everything that holds still
enough, which unfortunately includes me. But she even told me that
there were credit card charges for brunches and so on on HER credit
card, which they obviously share.

Hi D,
I think you’ve handled everything marvelously.
The only thing I would add is a letter from a lawyer stating he is
being sued and brought up on charges of ‘rape by false promise’ by
enticing you to use him as an agent and him having sex with you
under false pretenses.
Heck, maybe even a real lawyer would be interested in this case.
Or at least a TV judge.

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