Dear Revenge Guy,
I really need you to help me out here, I just don’t know what my next steps are.
My neighbor wakes up early, about 6am, and gets her stupid pug (dog) all riled up. Every morning. At 6am.
I have an infant and my wife takes care of him during the day while I’m at work. But the problem starts at 5am, first with this woman getting her dog going and barking by talking loudly to him (I can hear her, I live in a condo and she’s right beside me, we also share a porch where our front doors are), then with her going in and out of her place, slamming her door closed. Every time.
This wakes my baby, who starts crying because he’s been startled, then he gets cranky because he cannot sleep. Which in turn keeps my wife on edge and I come home to a cranky baby, an upset and tired wife, every day.
I’ve tried speaking with this neighbor, she’s a real piece of work. As soon as I start talking, she begins complaining about other things in the building to me, nothing related to what I’m politely asking her to do.
I really don’t care what the other neighbors are doing, we just want to get some normal sleep during normal sleeping time hours.
When I am able to ask her to keep the noise down so early in the morning, she says she will try, but the next day it’s the same routine. Literally, our health is at risk because of the noise, starting early in the morning and doors slamming all day and her being on the phone loud enough that it’s like she’s in our place. And she likes to drink on the shared porch, also causing extra noise in the afternoons and evenings.
I’ve spoken with the homeowner’s association, and they’ve basically done nothing beyond giving her a letter letting her know about my noise complaint.
The security patrol for the condo says I need to call the police, and you know that will get me nowhere.
I need your help in turning the tables on her, give to her what she’s giving to me, without ending up in jail.
Thanks,
Ken
Hi Ken,
I feel for you, I really do. Taking care of a wife and baby under these circumstances must cause you to start pulling your hair out some days, so let’s hit this logically.
First off, understand the rules for noise and what makes a valid complaint. You’ll want to read through the condo’s HOA rules and highlight every section that deals with conflict between residents and, specifically, what constitutes a noise infraction. You’ll also want to read up on the type of dogs that are allowed by the HOA. (Maybe her dog isn’t allowed and that will end this unfortunate issue quickly.)
Second, talk to your neighbors, if this woman is causing you anguish because of her noisy dog and habits, she’s certainly causing issues for other residents. Once there is a group complaining about her, the HOA is going to be more interested in getting this woman under control.
Third, building a case against her. You will want to install a doorbell camera to catch her in the act of creating a noisy environment and have the recordings to prove that she’s causing the noise on purpose.
You will also want to have a camera inside your place, aimed at your front door. This will help to record the noise as it happens and record the sound levels inside your place too.
All of this should help to keep you on the legal side of getting even with your bitch of a neighbor and having evidence to share with the HOA and the police about the noise she is causing, and when. The HOA will have to take action once you bring the evidence and the other neighbors to a meeting.
If those steps do not get the resolution you want, we move forward with the direct revenge part of the plan.
You’ll want to send the wife and baby out for a couple of hours, then you can blast your music, hammer on the walls, and whatever other noise you want to make to equalize the noise your neighbor makes. Be sure to talk, confidentially, with your other neighbors so they know what you’re doing.
With your wife’s permission, and earmuffs for your baby, set an alarm for 4am and make some noise when it goes off. Wake your neighbor early so she understands how it feels. Get an LED clock radio alarm clock, one that buzzes the alarm really loud. You can also set it to go off for when you, your wife and baby go out together.
There really is no way to get your revenge anonymously, since the goal is to get her to shut the hell up, and anyone will be able to guess you’re the responsible party, unless you can get other neighbors to help out.
So, continue getting evidence of intentional and unreasonable noise. Continue with the HOA and your written complaints. Don’t bother with the police. And be certain to keep records of everything using The Revenge Guy’s Bad Neighbor and Witness Journal. You’ll be surprised how convincing a case you can build when you track all of her noise infractions.
Good luck,
The Revenge Guy
