The Revenge Guy

Close this search box.

This is where you read revenge stories about families and life

Real people have written in to ask The Revenge Guy for advice so they can get revenge on family members, you can read their stories here.

You date, you get intimate, you get married, you break up or divorce. This is what happens next.

People that have been dating or married have written in to ask The Revenge Guy for advice so they can get revenge on ex friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, spouses that are now exes, and this is what I told them.

Work Sucks! And having Bad Co-Workers and Bad Bosses Makes It Even Worse!

People that have jobs write in to ask The Revenge Guy for advice so they can get revenge on their workplace, businesses that have done them wrong, as well as revenge on people they work with.

Friends And Exfriends

The Revenge Guy needs your help to get the word out, please share this story!

When Friends and Ex-Friends Need Straightening Out

The Revenge Guy Is There!

I’ve added this page of questions and answers, not because I want to answer these particular type of questions, but to illustrate the fact that teens and young adults all have these issues to deal with.

When I am asked for revenge with these “friend issues” my typical response is for the person to talk to their parents.

Heck, even a stranger on the street will be able to offer better advice than I because at least the stranger will have appearance as a frame of reference to give the asked for advice.

So, should you not find your answer here, or elsewhere on my site, you may still email me. But you just may not get the response you thought you’d get from me! Not every answer is revenge!  

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I totally need your help.

My life is in a complete mess. Me and my friend had a strong friendship for a long five years. We totally understood each other but now she’s accusing me of lying and a total fraud maker. I feel totally angry, sad and hurt. But there’s more.

After that my next best friend got influenced by her and now they both are influencing the rest of everybody in my class and now everybody hates me. Even the most nicest person in class won’t talk to me. Whoever I make friends with will talk to me but will ignore me afterwards.

These two of my best friends kept on talking behind my back. I feel extremely hurt. Once they asked my friend to tell me something, and my friend just looked at me and told me. She said that my old friend who became my heartbreaker said she wanted to be my friend again. Then when I was eating she told me that whatever my friend said was the exact opposite and that I suck and she hated me and she’s my worst enemy. I felt like using a knife and slashing her throat. She even asked a girl to say “Hi Paula, (pause) do I even know that you’re here??”

I wanted to tear them all apart. When I came to the library, my two old buddies saw me and the second one said “Arrrrrgggghhhh. Ewwwww.The freak loser is here. Run for your life Melody!” Melody was the first one who broke my heart. I cant believe it. I feel like slashing my wrists.
Painful life

Revenge JokerHi Painful,
This isn’t a revenge issue, you need to talk this over with your parents.

It’s a sad part of life but teens do act this way…. Friends first, making snide little comments later to build themselves up and tear others down.
It’s really a low self-esteem issue that they have and are forcing on you.
Don’t fall for it.
Don’t play their evil little game anymore.

The next time someone says anything like that to you just look them straight in the eye and say “Why would you say anything like that?”, or “Why would you think that?”, then just walk away, not waiting for an answer, with your head held high and pride intact.
Don’t start an argument. Prove your maturity by not even considering what they have to say unless it’s an apology. Nothing else will do.

Giving the mature answer/response will put these kids in their place. Maybe not immediately but once they understand that you’re not playing any more (by giving them the upset/almost in tears reaction they are trying to get from you) they’ll tire of the game and start to wonder why you aren’t playing any more.

It’s a hard fact of life but this happens many times to many teens… likely more than we’ll ever know but certainly to tens of thousands even this very day.

So, no revenge advice here… talk to your parents (or another trusted adult or teacher) and don’t play their little game anymore.
You’re a better person, you just have to prove it to yourself.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyDear RG,
I’m in a bit of a pickle and I need a plan of revenge fast!

The story starts about 4 months ago when I woke up one morning to see that my house had been egged, pussy shit I know, but true.

The shit was everywhere, on the cars, in the garden, on the windows, in between all crevices…

It was a mess, not to mention the fact that it was the beginning of March in Canada, so the egg was frozen onto my house. I was pissed and started to think… Who could have, would have done this?

This is my parent’s house, so if you’re trying to get me back for something I did, it’s a real asshole way to go about it, and there’s really no fun in it, because I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

This lead me to believe that it was just a random act of teenage foolishness, and I much preferred it that way, because that meant I didn’t have enemies… Who wants enemies?

It wasn’t until later on that day, when I was talking to one of my best friends that I found out, her house had been egged too, and even worse then mine… It then turned into a “who hates both of us” riddle. We really couldn’t come up with the answer and although we were pissed as hell we let it go…

That was until a week later, when we both found out that a guy friend of ours had been egged the very same day… COINCIDENCE? NEVER…. This started us all on a crusade…A mad, endless crusade.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, when all three of us are at a party and the subject of egging comes up… We all start ranting and raving about how we never found out who it was that egged us, when another friend strolls by and says “yea I know who egged all your houses”.

Now this guy is a dipshit, but any lead was a good lead, so we sat him down to find out all the details. Apparently, it was these three girls, all who had dated our guy friend, all who hated me and my friend, all who knew where we lived, all who ARE GOING DOWN.

We know for sure it was them, I’m not gonna get too far into detail about how, but now this is where you come into play… We need revenge, we see this girls everywhere and it itches at us to just deck them in the face every time…

Unfortunately, we don’t want to go to jail, but we do want them to know not to fuck around ever again. We need a plan, it can be big and elaborate because we have a lot of people who want in and a lot of people who are willing to help. I have to stress the fact, that we WANT them to know that we’ve done it, and we don’t want it to have anything to do with eggs!
Thank you, Michelle!

Revenge JokerHi Michelle,
Get everyone together, we’re going to have some fun!!

The first part is somewhat like stalking. It’s a good thing you have a network of friends that you can count on to help.

Follow quietly the girls when they are out, shopping or going into places. Call the store, say you’re security from another store and want to let them know they have suspected shoplifters in their store. Give a description of the girls. They’ll be followed everywhere.

Do this on and off for a few months.

Get some lawn fertilizer, the pellet stuff. Figure out a couple of words you want to say like “Easy Lay” or “Sluts” or something effective and spell it out in the lawn using the fertilizer. Return for about three nights and cover the same ground with the fertilizer. After a couple of times the lawn is watered the words will be burned into the grass. They’ll be visible for weeks unless the grass is all dug up.

Go to a thrifty used store or a used clothing shop. Look for panties, bras, underwear.
Every so often leave a piece of it in the mailbox with a note stuck to it “thanks for last night, you forgot these” type of thing.
Pure evil.

I could go on, but you get the idea here, and these are easy enough to do.

Remember, don’t rush out and do everything at once. Revenge is meant to be stealthily done.
Swear everyone to secrecy. If you can’t trust them to be quiet, don’t let them help.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyDear Revenge Guy,
I love your website, and now I need your help.

I have/HAD this friend, let’s call her Silvia. I moved to this city in January 06, and she was really nice to me at school and we became friends, walked home together (we live in the same complex), and did stuff together. She told me I was her best friend. And I was naive enough to believe her. She liked this guy, let’s call him James. I helped her get him.

And then it was summer. I didn’t get ONE call from her.

In the new school year, Sept. 06 to June 07, we just drifted farther apart. We both had this other friend, let’s call her Sandra. I became really good friends with Sandra – she was now the one I could really call my “best friend,” because she listened to me rant, she saw me cry, she gave me hugs when I was sad, she made me laugh, she called me, she was never too busy with her boyfriend to make room for me in her life.

Then came summer 07. And again, not one call, hell, not even one email from Silvia. She didn’t return mine so I was like, fine, be that way. She’s still going out with James.

This year,  me and Silvia have English together – and she doesn’t even look at me. There are these two other girls in my class. They are now the ones that she hangs out with. And she ignores me.

And then one day I heard her say a load of sh** about Sandra. I was so pissed – she was calling her all these names and saying things that she didn’t deserve. I just glared at her and left, cuz we had break – and then I told Sandra, and she told all my other friends – cuz we have the same friends. And even James was pissed at Silvia – because he’s one of her good friends too.

So right now I’m not hanging out with Silvia like we used to at the place where we used to, even though we didn’t even talk, it was just my other friends that hung out with James at lunch. It’s just her and James. At first he was pissed at Silvia and now he’s back to snogging her. I can’t believe him.

Got any ideas on how to get back at her? And possibly even him? She gets really jealous at girls that even talk to him. I seriously can’t believe her – she traded me and Sandra and everyone that goes with me and Sandra for two bimbos – a manlike blonde, and a weak ugly wh—, and ignores us when she used to call us her best friends. (I can’t do anything with alcohol, cuz we’re all under 21, sadly…)

Revenge JokerHi,
You aren’t asking for revenge advice, you’re wondering why you had a friend, lost that friend and now she is mean towards you.

I hate to say this, but that is life at your age.

Grow up, be the better person.

You really want help with this?
Talk to your parents, they know you better (hopefully) than I do.

Why you actually care is beyond me? Are you the type to hold a grudge for no apparent reason?
I don’t care who introduced who to whom… who dated who… nothing out of the ordinary has happened to you.

Face it head on, stop playing in the shadows where you’re an even bigger target.

The next time Silvia is with her “group” just walk up to her and say “Why do you keep avoiding me?” When she gives you a snide cutting remark back say to her “Huh, I thought that was you.”
And walk away.
Your job is done, and so is mine.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge GuyDear RG,
I have ‘good’ friends from my sports team.

They used to treat me like normal friends treat each other but since late October hey’ve been complete assholes. They always go out of their way to shun and ostracize me, just to make me feel bad. Whenever I confront them about this they always apologize and say it was all in fun, but then the next day they started doing it again.

A week ago they started calling me “it” and “Hey You!” My sport is too important for me to quit but these guys have really gotten under my skin. I want a way to make them realize that what they are doing sucks and does not feel good to make them stop, but I don’t want to throw in the towel on our friendship either. Please help me out here. I don’t know what to do anymore!

Revenge JokerHi,
Let me tell you, I can see it from here, that big bull’s-eye target on your back.

Are these guys really your friends? It sounds more to me that they are making fun of you to spite your supposed friendship.
They are using that hold against you. Trust me, they aren’t friends.

Real friends get the idea when they hurt another friend’s feelings.

Now then, you really don’t want revenge do you?
You just want them to stop.
They won’t.
No matter what I tell you to do, you won’t because you think they are your friends.

They might be nice sometimes, but not on the field.
You have to figure out why that is. Who are they trying to impress?
The coach? Another player/teammate?
Are their girls watching?
There has to be some reason for them to tear you down while they (immaturely) try to build themselves up.

What you do next time is this :
Walk up to whoever says the ‘second’ thing to you, (there is a leader and a follower, even with just two people doing the harassing) and quietly say “You know that everyone knows you really don’t belong here”. Say it quietly, so only the one person can hear.

And walk away. Confidently, smiling. Yelling “Hi” to someone farther away, like you’re a big movie star, getting some recognition for exposing the crime of a lifetime.

And now you know what to do.

And talk to your parents, I’m sure they want to help you with this.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Broken Friendship

Dear Revenge GuyHey revenge guy,

First off i want to say i love your site.

I am a young male who is mad at a ex female friend.

we use to be friends for 4 years but ended our friendship based on false information. she believed i was spreading her number on the internet, so she texted me threatened to call the police and everything.

she is a attention seeking person once pulled half her hair out.

she use to text me and talk dirty with me.she has fueled me with anger over this.

how can i get revenge. lease help me

p.s your the greatest, from mr potato.

Hi Mr. Potato (really a young girl – RG)

Don’t talk with her no more.

Simple, right?

Let her dig her own grave, you don’t need to be there, or be the catalyst, for her to self-destruct.


{Dear Reader, I include the above email because kids are so wrapped up in their little world that there is no revenge advice to be given. Without a doubt they’ll be friends in another hour or day, so why should I waste the effort!}

Do you have a similar story to share with The Revenge Guy? Send it to him now! 

Read More Revenge Stories

Ever since she moved in, she has been hounding us for things, she comes over on a regular basis to complain...
Read More
Clearly confronting him didn't give you the answer you suspected, but really, why would he admit to anything?
Read More
I need your help in turning the tables on her, give to her what she's giving to me, without ending up...
Read More
I think you have received some very poor advice from the police, the county and any lawyers you’ve so...
Read More
This is a story how a simple guy couldn’t take it any more from his abusive roommate and planned...
Read More
Dear Revenge Guy, I have a new neighbor that moved in next door (I live in a townhouse and we share a...
Read More
Management threatens their lawyer. The lawyer proves why this is not a great idea.
Read More
I have pictures of the person and car. If anyone has any information, please let me know. This was a...
Read More
She had called the cops on us 4 times, and as we were very quiet, clean people the cops just left right...
Read More
I want him to remember me, even if as a bitch. I want her to feel worried about me. I hate thinking of...
Read More

Article written by The Revenge Guy ©2003-2024 The Revenge Guy. This article may not be replicated, copied or distributed without prior written approval and is provided for entertainment purposes only.

Tales from the Dark Side (Volume 1 - paperback)
Tales from the Dark Side (Volume 1 - paperback)
Joke Pranks, Sign Pranks & More (paperback)
Joke Pranks, Sign Pranks & More (paperback)
Pranks ebook
Pranks ebook, order your copy and be reading in minutes.
Bad Neighbor and Witness Journal
Tips on dealing with neighbors included. Get your copy now!

Revenge Guy Newsletter

Parking Ticket, Noise Violation Ticket

The craziest stories are only shared by email!

Free Gift for New Subscribers!

Unsubscribe any time.