And Cheaters Get The Revenge Guy's Attention
That is the hallmark of a truly evil person. Now, of course I'm not talking about the type of people that I advise.
When you're done wrong you deserve closure, even if it's just emailing me for a little consolation.
Maybe marriage (and living together) should have a 3 year cooling off period. Then, after three years if things aren't working out the guy can say "Well, it's been nice, but my girlfriends have been complaining about the amount of time I spend over here" and just end the marriage nice and cleanly.
But when you've been dating a person and it turn's out they're cheating on their wife or husband and you didn't know, well there's really only one thing to do. Read on to see what that is.
Cheaters and a Reconciliation
1. Six months ago my husband's best friend was dying of cancer. While he was dying my husband and his friends wife began an affair and my husband left me for her (the widow).
2. She was a friend of mine.
3. We knew each other for 3-4 years
4. A few but not many at all
5. I have her address and e-mail
6. Not a neighbor complaint
7. My husband and I have reconciled but she will not back off trying to ruin our lives.
8. I am absolutely lost about what the best revenge is. Some kind of public humiliation seems right though.
9. I have found peace in everything except knowing that she feels no remorse over what she did to my family. In fact she is cruel. My life was turned upside down and she is walking away unscathed.
Your husband owes you big time. Make him pay until you forget about "her".
Public humiliation? She was in an affair. Any type of public acknowledgement will come back and bite you in the ass.
Marriage counselling. You need to trust your husband again and you're not there yet.
Use a spoofer and call up her friends as if you were a private investigator, change the caller id appropriately. Ask "the questions" about her and other
possible affairs and entanglements.
I was with a guy I knew from work and we got to dating.
He had split up with his wife for 2 years, did not wear his wedding band and lived in his own house. I asked him if he still had hang ups about his wife and he said no.
All through our time together which was for 6 months he hid me away, never met my friends, family and I never met his.
He was frightened at the thought of anyone seeing us which I did comment on and tried to finish with him quite a few times but we did not. I did not want his children to find out about us through a third party so he was going to tell them on his terms at his house. They got upset but he could not handle it and he changed after that towards me.
We split up at the time my mother died and was not there for me even as a friend and he said he was not ready for me to be his partner and I was wondering what was I to him for 6 months??
I know all through his marriage he has been cheating on his wife and the only reason he left was cause he had an affair, moved in with this girl who was married, his wife did not even know. Her husband found out and told his wife and the children got very upset as she was shouting in front of them when her husband got home.
I knew this and this is why I wanted the children told when I was seeing him as not to cause any more shocks and pain for them at least.
I see the picture now as I think he just used me for sex as that is one of the reasons why he cheats on his wife he does not want her he stays for the kids or so he says.
I lost a lot of weight through my mum dying and him not being there for me as a friend, I feel used and I know he has gone back with his wife.
I would like revenge but I do not want to upset the children and I know he is going to cheat again and again as he has done.
How can I get him back as I want to just deck him at the moment. He has a good job and they all think he is fab but I think he is a gutless man.
Yes, this ass is the lowest form of life.
There is a special place in hell for guys like this and this is how you create it:
You know where he works, using spoofer you can "spoof" his work with calls from a lot of different girls, lots of different caller Id's to hide where you are. the calls can't be traced. Keep them "general rated" but make it apparent that he's dating a lot of women. This will ruin his work reputation.
I don't suggest calling his house like that, his wife is already in cheater's hell and the kids must be a mess too, no sense making that
any worse, even of you could.
If you know places that he goes, for dinner, a bar he hangs out at, a gym he goes to, places he tries to pick up women, do the same. Leave messages for him everywhere. He'll soon get the bum's rush and be barred from these places too.
Do it. Without remorse and without spite.
But do it.
You seem like a level-headed person--which I need right now.
My husband had a two-year on-and-off affair with a woman he met at a religious center. I outed him three times by breaking into their emails, etc.
He finally broke it off entirely. I've continued to audit her email to make sure there's nothing going on, and there doesn't appear to be, but she continues to entice men both married and single--to feed her ego problems.
This woman plays men like fools and always has two of three that she's stringing along.
My immediate problem is that my husband has returned to the religious center--against my wishes, and I'm afraid the other woman will show up. He claims that she's the last person he'd want to see, but I still don't want her anywhere near him.
Do you have ideas of ways to keep her or him away from the center? I've tried to think up a variety of ideas, including asking someone to send my husband an anonymous email saying that there were rumors circulating at the center about the affair. He'd be so embarrassed that he'd never go back.
However, I have no one I feel right asking to do this.
I also anonymously emailed a member of the center and asked if she'd agree to report back if she saw any interaction between the two of them. She refused.
So, do you have any ideas????
You must be very forgiving of your husband. Personally I would have taken one of his thumbs as payment.
As far as getting someone to check up on them by asking 'anonymously', well that never works. I suggest one of two things:
1. Talk to someone in person to watch what's going on, someone you can trust. The worse that can happen is you put your husband and this tramp on alert that you are watching.
2. Start going to the religious center with him. Stop lurking in the shadows.
If you still feel that you can't trust him (and who's blame you?) kick him out once and for all. Never live with distrust in your heart... take the bull by the horns and all that crap.
You don't need to go after this woman, she's digging her own grave. Of course, sharing some straight words with the clergy, now there's a great idea. They should be made aware of this "wolf in sheep's clothing" if indeed that is what your husband is.
You have to remember, that church-going people tend to be very trusting, and fraudsters and cheaters like that type of victim... even if the other lady isn't consenting to more than prayer, you husband sounds like he has other things on his mind.
My ex and I got back together briefly, and then he dumped me for the woman he was with while we were apart.
She wouldn't take him back if there had been anything between us. I told her the truth.
Now my ex is telling everyone who will listen that I'm a crazy obsessed psycho (which I'm not) and that nothing happened. Is it illegal for me to snail mail copies of his "I love you" emails to her and a few of his friends? Thanks a bunch!
Hey, they are letters addressed to you, they are in your possession, do with them what you want.
Personally, I’d scan them and create a website to post them, rather than sending copies around.
The Internet never forgets!!
I wish the events I am about to tell you were fabricated or at least enhanced, but if anything, they are understated. I need your help...
Last year I dated this guy who I probably shouldn't have dated in the first place and probably no woman should ever date him. For the first part of the relationship I was away at college, about a 45 minute drive from where said boyfriend, lets call him Assforface,
Well Assforface didn't have a car (or license for that matter) and couldn't come visit me that often, plus my schedule was really demanding and I couldn't always go visit him. He bitched about this a lot, always saying how hard it was on him etc, etc, etc, it was always about how things affected HIM meanwhile he was the one to who wanted to date me in the first place knowing very well I was going to be at school. I was suspicious of his actions during this time a lot because I was warned (after I started dating him) that he had a tendency to be a flirt and had a history of cheating.
Time went on and little suspicious things occurred, especially things regarding his ex-gf who he had dated for 3 years prior to me.
Regardless I still went on being the best girlfriend I could be, I stood by him while he was unemployed, my grades suffered because I took every free chance I got to spend it with him, I learned to cook his favorite meals, I cleaned his room (he lived and still lives in his mom's basement), he even managed to coerce me to take his clothes to the dry cleaning and I'm not even going to tell you the extent to which I went to please him in the sack. After all this I started to notice that I was getting little to nothing in return.
He lied to me almost constantly, we would never tell me anything about his sexual history, and treated me like a doormat. He never even took me on a single date where he paid, claiming that he was broke, but when the weekend came along he always seemed to have enough money for booze, dvds, and tacky running shoes.
Summer came along and with me being back in the city I started to notice how much he would blow me off to go party at clubs with dumb whores. I even caught him once fondling his friend's breast right in front of me - he was drunk as usual. He promised me that he would stop drinking... one of the many empty and unfulfilled promises he force fed me. Finally after an incidence where Assforface was soooo drunk he nearly crushed me in bed (he was upwards of 280lbs) but thank god he did because if he hadn't fallen on me I wouldn't have gotten out of bed and probably would have fallen victim later that night to getting pissed on, yes, the drunk chubby f-ck pissed the goddamn bed. It was around this time I really got fed up and started re-evaluating the whole relationship. The last straw happened a week later when I was so sick, my throat was actually bleeding, and I needed him to do one tiny favor for me and he couldn't because he "was going out with the boys" which meant he was getting loaded and going to the sleaziest bar in town to hit on whores who wouldn't want anything to do with him if they weren't trashed off red bull and vodka. I dumped him before he left to go out, it was pretty epic, I slammed the door and everything.
Somehow this manipulator managed to maintain a friendship with me, and he still talks to me to this day and constantly asks me to hang out with him. I never do obviously. However, I recently got wind of some news from an extremely reliable source that Assforface admitted to sleeping with prostitutes and claiming that he is in fact still in love with his ex-GF, the one he dated before me for three years, therefore making our whole fiasco of a relationship just one, big, fat-ass lie.
Obviously the fact that this man slept with prostitutes, neglected to tell me and put my whole physical well being at risk is more than solid grounds for sweet, devastating revenge. The fact of him still being in love with his ex is just the cherry on top of a heaping pile of bullshit sundae. Needless to say this man needs to pay. Now I could go on talking about how he cries like a little girl on a regular basis about his self image, how he has a small penis, how he pissed the bed, how he has to resort to paying for sex, or how he is so lazy and self centered that he neglected to go see his own father on his deathbed because he "was too tired", but spreading those rumors just makes me look petty and angry. I need revenge that is epic, classy, and puts me on top. Please help.
You certainly paid dearly for a relationship with someone that never cared for you, eh?
Well, revenge of this type is rather straight forward.
He still lives with Mommy? Send her notes that say what her son really does with the money she gives him.
Find his friends online (Facebook, MySpace, etc) and anonymously (a new account for this purpose is needed) post sex tales about their dear fat friend.
Add some skank stories for his ex-gf too.
You're coming out on top will be the complete shattering of this ass's life, which will come down like a house of cards.
And should he ever want to talk to you again, just tell him that men of such small girth don't talk to women like yourself. And lean in and whisper "And you don't really fit in here, you know."
I had been living with a man for 7yrs, I was very much in love with him.
We had in the past few years been purchasing things for our wedding when we had extra money. I had bought the dress, decorations and we had already gotten the marriage license.
The end of November he told me he wanted us to go ahead and get married, we started looking for houses and had even been talking with a realtor. I told my friends and family.
December 5th he walked out our door and would not speak to me. Within two weeks he had moved a woman into the house he bought on his own, a woman he worked with on his first shift job.
This has devastated me beyond belief.
We work in the same industry within a 1/4 mile of each other and see and deal with many of the same people. I have know these people for years!
Since he left he has brought her on his job and introduced her to his co-workers which many of them are my friends. He is telling people that the reason we split was because "I" cheated on him, and that I am an abusive alcoholic. Neither is true!!
I have not even been out to eat with a man since he left. This has hurt me more than anything, to know he is trashing me to make his self look like the innocent victim after what he has done to me.
I need all the suggestions you can give me. The hurt is over, it has finally sunk in what he has done to me. I want to make them both miserable. Please help me.
The man has no excuse for the lies he put you through.
What I’d do is plan a sale of all his things, all the wedding items.
Plan the sale for a specific date and do it.
And make sure all your co-workers and friends understand the reason for the sale, how this guy lied to you.
You may not regain some of them as friends, but a lot of them will see this lying bastard for who he really is.
And with the money earned from the sale, take yourself on a much needed holiday.
And after 7 years I know that you know what his biggest fears are. I want you to plan the tragic demise of his ego with care:
There will be a place and a time for you to strike. I like the idea of using SpoofCard to place a call to him from whatever his real fears are. Taxes, licensing, professional duties, whatever it might be.
Make the call, be the badass on the phone.
Just remember to use the 'disguise your voice' option and to record the call. I'd love to hear a copy of it.
My best friend of 11 yrs just cheated on me with my boyfriend of 7 yrs!
In anger I told her family what she had done which she begged me not to do because they would be disgusted with her and they were.
I then waited a week for things to cool down. I rang her because I
needed her to tell me why she did it and say sorry but to my surprise she went off at me and said I was basically the worst thing in the world for telling her family and that she never wanted to speak to me again and told me to get over it! Then she hung up.
Well I was devastated. I was considering to forgive her if she had
she said sorry and explained why she did it with my boyfriend but after that she can go jump!
I need a way to show her she hurt me and that she is in the wrong not me I'm really pissed with her for wrecking my life and not being sorry for it. I want to make her pay! Can you help please?
I’m sure she knows she hurt you. But why keep in contact with her anymore? Don't let revenge be a way to hold on to hating her. Revenge is a cleansing experience. But don't let her off scot-free either!
Get a t-shirt made that says “Cheating Slut” on it and send it to her. Make a few more with "Cheating Slut" and her name on them and send them to her family.
And sell everything your boyfriend his to pay for a nice long singles vacation for yourself. It takes two to cheat so I wouldn't be too quick to forgive him either!
I have been taken big time by a guy who claimed to be a friend, lover, future mate, mortgage broker. And he was living with someone and only played up to me because he could talk me into buying a condo and collecting a $16,000 fee which he told me he would give back to me and of course didn't. In actuality, he is living with someone and told her I was a client, meanwhile he was sleeping with me, and making all these promises and I was gullible enough to believe it.
Since then I contacted his girl friend, posted a website, registered him with the cheaters websites, ordered I don't know how many magazines, arranged for a republican party at his office, jammed his telephone, with his social security number ordered a credit report and contacted all his creditors to let them know his updated telephone numbers and addresses which caused him to lose his internet connection, posted warnings on all the dating sites, got him kicked off the dating sites, ordered repair persons to his (his girlfriend's) house, also pizza to his house and office, make reservations at various restaurants, order estimates for various house repairs, many many magazine subscriptions, ordered condoms and tampax and catalogs to house and office. I plan to post his house for rent in various laundromats, send dead roses, place some ads in the classifieds.
I really don't like this s.o.b. and want more. But it has to be kind of legal. PLEASE send more suggestions. I want to make his life a living hell for a few years. His girlfriend is too dumb to throw him out, even though he's been screwing everything that holds still enough, which unfortunately includes me. But she even told me that there were credit card charges for brunches and so on on HER credit card, which they obviously share.
I think you've handled everything marvelously.
The only thing I would add is a letter from a lawyer stating he is being sued and brought up on charges of 'rape by false promise' by enticing you to use him as an agent and him having sex with you under false pretenses.
Heck, maybe even a real lawyer would be interested in this case.
Or at least a TV judge.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I LOVE your website and creative (and legal) ideas on retaliation. I have always taken the high road (turned the other cheek) when I have been wronged. Not anymore. I have never gone for revenge before but I AM READY now and need your creative input.
I met "Micah" (not his real name) on a dating website. We met and were immediately hooked on each other. Micah and I shared hours and hours emailing and talking on the phone feeling a closer bond than ever. His career was very demanding, so we only got to spend 3-4 hours together every 10 days or so.
He told me he had been divorced for over 15 years and was a 'loner.' I became suspicious of his honesty when he always had excuses for (a) not meeting my family; (b) not introducing me to his friends/family; (c) never had his driver's license or biz cards with him when I would ask to see them; (d) wasn't listed in the general directory of employees at the very major O&G company where he 'allegedly' worked.
He had made the comment once that his work was his 'wife' and I was his 'mistress.' I didn't want to play the 'mistress' role anymore, so after several months together, I ended it. Today, I discovered that he is married, and has been for some time. The bastard sucked me into an affair, KNOWING I was seeking a long-term relationship and knowing how I felt about seeing married men. He, not only lied about his marital status, he lied about his last name (I found his ACCURATE last name today, too, when I discovered he had a wife). Now, I know his name, his address to his new home, his place of employment, his cell phone number (work-related one), his AOL email address, and his wife's name.
RG, I was cheated on in my marriage of 20 years (which ended 5 years ago). Two different women were kind enough to call me at work and tell me that they had seen my husband with this particular woman in public, behaving inappropriately. BOTH of these kind women said they didn't know me, but knew that if their husband was cheating on them, they would hope someone would tell them and that is why they called. I will always be grateful to those kind women.
I have made it clear that I will have no part in associating with cheating husbands because I believe in honoring other women's marriages. I feel compelled to contact Micah's wife and give her hard copy evidence of all the emails we shared (I kept all of them) - some of which are in graphic pornographic detail.
If she doesn't already know she is married to a lying, cheating, bottom-feeder, she should and I will sleep better at night knowing she can make an informed decision in whether or not to continue her alliance with him. I don't think there are young children, but WHO KNOWS? So, I don't want to retaliate in any fashion that will cause emotional hurt to any young children. I just want to make sure she knows of this AND I want him to be so negatively impacted that he will think twice before he pretends to be unattached and seeking a long-term relationship again. Any suggestions?
A Woman Scorned,
I think that revealing what has transpired between you and “Micah” to his wife is the best move.
Whatever lies “Micah” has been using to deceive his wife should be brought into the open.
He is the one responsible for how negatively impacted his kids will be, if there are any. Who knows, maybe they already are aware, in some way, about their philandering father. This is not your fault.
Move forward, clear your conscious and bring all this to the light. Spare his wife any more deception.
Make the right move.