Dear Revenge Guy,
My ex has become a real problem, he planned leaving behind my back, then just disappeared.
Since he left, he has broken into every house I have lived in and stolen things he needed instead of buying them, set a private detective on me, been caught using my identity to get a credit card and ran up a huge bill.
He has also run up huge bills at hotels and with some of my stuff he has stolen left them behind instead of payment and this is just a small amount of stuff he has done that has come back to haunt me one way or another.
I have tried to move and get work and when I do he harasses my boss until I get fired.
In all of this I have behaved and done the right thing but I am about to lose my current job because of him once again harassing me at my work and I need it to stop.
He is also abusive and I have spent 6 weeks in a refuge at one stage so he couldn’t find me.
Please help me, Anon
You ex sounds like a truly disturbed individual. You’ll need to take several steps to protect yourself and it will take some more work on your part, beyond what you have done so far.
First off, start a journal and write down everything that he has done to you. Dates, times, places, witnesses and describe the incident in detail. Do this for each thing he has done to you. Be sure your journal includes the addresses you know he has lived at, workplaces and names of his friends he may still be in contact with, this info is always useful if his harassment continues.
Next, contact a lawyer, call legal aid if necessary, and tell them what has been happening and what your sent steps should be, in a legal way. You should also speak with the police and ensure you have a report of what your ex has been doing to you, so they have a record of his actions and will be in a position to stop him for doing worse things to you, hopefully. Stay in touch with the officer you speak with if anything new happens to you.
Check with a woman’s shelter, maybe the refuge you were already at, and see what help they can offer. You are a victim and there may be services near you that can also help that are available to you.
Contact the credit bureaus, Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion and have a freeze placed on your credit report so that no new inquiries or credit cards or loans can be taken out in your name. While you’re at it, get a copy of your credit report and review it carefully. Dispute any charges or bad records so you can start to rebuild your credit.
Carry with you, at all times, a small video recorder so you can be ready to record your ex if he comes near you. When you see something out of place, or are fearful for whatever reason, take a video of yourself and describe what you feel. Save all videos to a cloud storage service, like Google Drive or Amazon Drive for file storage. You don’t want your notes, videos and pictures only kept on your phone in case you lose it, or it is taken away from you.
I am hesitant to offer any actions you can take for revenge as they could very well blow up on you and take his harassment to the next dangerous level. Most things I would suggest would easily trace right back to you, unless you know of other people he is also harassing that could be involved in going after him for their own reasons.
Do all you can legally to protect yourself from his continuing verbal, physical and financial harassment.
If you feel safe and protected, there are things you can do to get some amount of revenge.
Report any social media profiles he has so they are taken down, this is always an anonymous step.
Share his personal details on different online forums so others can contact him.
If possible, contact his boss or co-workers, in confidence, to let them know what he is really like and the story of the hell he has been putting you through.
Guys like this usually have a criminal record, although you didn’t say as much. Run a full criminal and credit report on him and see where that leads you. It can be enough to just send copies of these reports to his boss and people he knows.
If you’re up to it, you may want to contact the local press and share your story, anonymously, if you feel safe to do that. This step will give you some of your power back and can be written in a way to protect your identity.
The Revenge Guy