Dear Revenge Guy,
I really need your help, I am unprepared to handle this on my own.
Recently I was sent an email addressed to my husband’s first wife, I am his second wife, he is my first husband, we’ve been married for 3 years.
The email just talked about everyday stuff, nothing sexy or would directly imply he was having an affair with her, but it did include the pet names they used when they were together.
So, I confronted him about this, and he said that it’s no big deal, they keep in touch occasionally and he says sometimes he finds it easier to talk with his ex than me.
I don’t know how long this has been going on, but the way he made it sound like “no big deal” gives me the feeling it’s been going on for a long time, maybe even since we met, after his divorce.
I’m not sure if he is trying to console me, upset me, or worse, like wanting me to divorce him. It’s very stressful not understanding what this means, even my health is being affected by his callousness.
I have been trying to talk with him more, so he doesn’t have to talk with his ex, but I’m not sure this is working.
How can I get revenge on both of them, or maybe finally so something to help him to put his ex-wife out of our lives?
Thanks,
Rosie
Hi Rosie,
It’s certainly hard to not jump to conclusions and fear the worse is happening, that he’s having an affair with his ex-wife.
The first thing is that you need to know for certain what’s going on. If you can get access to his phone, install some mobile phone parental control software on it so you can get notifications and copies of his text messages and emails. Clearly confronting him didn’t give you the answer you suspected, but really, why would he admit to anything?
The tracking software will expose all of their secrets.
If that doesn’t work, you’ll want to track the ex-wife’s online activities. With a little luck you’ll find her on a dating site and you can create a fake profile that she will fall in love with. If you can drive a romantic wedge between your husband and his ex-wife, you’ll win!
If your husband often goes into a different room to talk with his ex (or you suspect that he does when he leaves the room) you should get a nanny cam and see if you can record his side of any conversations with his ex.
And, to get right to the point of knowing exactly what is going on, suggest marriage counselling. If he wants to go, I’d bet that nothing is going on. If he says no, then I’d say he has secrets to hide.
Good luck,
Revenge Guy
