Work is an anvil around our collective necks. Unless you really like your job, of course. But overall, I can do without the daily grind so that I have money to pay someone else for stuff that often I really don’t need… but that is all beside the point of this story. The OP gets revenge on their annoying coworker in a nice original way with a tried and true act of petty revenge.
Getting Even with the Coworker
I used to work with this shrill, Type-A woman who micromanaged us even though she wasn’t our superior, and she was really controlling about everything–dictating how everyone used the office and lab. She always stayed late and came in really early to rack up the OT.
She didn’t curse, was a goody two-shoes, and tattled on us all the time to the boss, who generally didn’t give a crap. As long as we didn’t make drama, he was pretty much hands-off and just showed up to take us to lunch for being not-a-holes. We got along OK in general, though. We just sort of let her do her. But she could be annoying as hell.
So one day, back when thinkgeek was a thing, we saw this ad for the Annoyatron. It’s this little circuit board with a magnet on it, and when it’s activated, it makes these teeny little random noises. So I ordered it.
I waited until TypeA was out of the office, and snuck in and stuck it to the top of the fluorescent fixture just behind her desk. My other coworker caught me standing on the chair, so i had to disclose my plan. She assented to this with a stern nod. We set things back into place.
So I did this around 4 pm. TypeA came back shortly after. We usually left at 5:30 every day, so for the last hour and a half, we hunched down in our offices snickering every time we heard: “What is that?” Every time there was a faint little electronic ::beeeeeep::, so high-pitched, it edged on being inaudible to humans.
The day ended, and we left TypeA to her fabricated overtime, smiling pleasantly at the thought of her bewilderment.
Having a long commute and other concerns, I totally forgot about the device that night. And the next morning, I got out of my car and walked up to our little office-house, and saw TypeA in the big window, and she looked like someone who had not slept in two days. Her usually pin-straight hair was Frizzed out. She had bags under her eyes, she looked pallid and stressed.
I walked in, and looked at her office and it was almost bare. I could barely even greet her before she went off.
“Oh my god, it’s driving me crazy!” She is moving around the office frenetically.
I’m like: “where is everything?”
“In the lab!” She opened the door to the lab, showing the lion’s share of our electronic equipment we use to sample and measure stuff, piled on the floors between the counters. “I’ve been moving each thing one at a time, so see which one is doing it!”
“Doing what?” It dawns on me just as I ask this. I imagine she must have spent the late afternoon obsessing, and then early that morning.
“THE BEEPING!” she exclaims. “Listen!” She pauses and waits, and lo… there it is. :::beeeeep:::: “I think I have everything that’s battery powered out. I unplugged all the computers and the office equipment. All I can think is that they’re listening to me…” The panic is rising and she’s getting more and more shrill.
“Who is listening, what?” I ask, incredulous. I am realizing she probably didn’t sleep all night, drowning in paranoia, trying to figure out what the beeping was.
“The company. They could be listening in on me. Or using some kind of device to track my computer or something. What else could it be?” Her eyes are almost wild.
At that point I couldn’t keep it together anymore. I just lost my shit and started laughing so hard. Between my wheezes, I told her it was me. I grabbed a chair and plucked the device from her light fixture.
TypeA looked at me with the most livid glare I’ve ever received in my life, and trust me, I’ve had some real dagger-throwers. And she took in a deep breath and screamed: “FUCK YOU STEPHANIE! FUCK YOU!”
I confess it was so satisfying to watch Miss Oh-So-Put-Together-Toxic-Positivity-Patty come unglued like that. Even if she did make my remaining time with that company utterly intolerable. I had seen that paranoid, squirrely side she tried so hard to hide. It was worth it. After I quit, she never spoke to me again. That stupid AnnoyaTron was worth every damned penny. 11 years later and I still love to think of it.
The Final Word
This is a great example of creativity as the solution for petty revenge. Always look around and see what items can be used when you next need to get simple, yet effective, revenge on a coworker.